"When God gets us alone through suffering, heartbreak, temptation, disappointment, sickness, or by thwarted desires, a broken relationship, or a new friendship - when He gets us absolutely alone, and we are totally speechless, unable to ask even one question, then He begins to teach us.... Jesus cannot teach us anything until we quiet all our intellectual questions and get alone with Him." -Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, January 13.
How often am I really alone with God? Not simply by myself, but intentionally focused solely on Him? Back in college it happened all the time. There was a small prayer room that I spent countless hours in. There were periods of time where I had no roommate, and so I had the dorm or apartment completely to myself. There was a gorgeous chapel, with stained glass windows, and I would spend early mornings there, as the sun poured in through the colored glass. Those were some of the best moments of my life, times alone with God. Sometimes He would speak, sometimes He would listen, and sometimes we could just sit in silence, enjoying each other's company. It was a fantastic time, but I feel like I took it for granted.
I remember saying, like so many people did, "Life will be so much simpler once school is over. When it's just a job and not five different classes to focus on, it will be so much easier to connect with God." There are so many times since then I have wished I could go back to the simplicity of college. There have been so many times I have wished to just go sit in that prayer room at 2 AM. I have even driven down just to pray in the chapel. I miss those alone times with God. I miss the deep and intimate friendship we had.
For over four months I have found myself alone. There have been times of connecting with God, but also, and far more often, a lot of distractions that have still been allowed to consume my time. In some ways I feel that God does not care, and then I am reminded that this is part of the forging process. I have felt that He is absent, and then I am reminded of a class on the book of Job, where the professor said, "God's silence is not equivalent to God's absence."
It's amazing how even when we are alone we can still find so many things to distract us from God. Over the past four months I have learned a lot about myself. I have learned the things that make me tick, and the things that set me off. I have learned about the deepest yearnings of my heart, and by extension, the things that cause me the most pain. One of my pastors who has been walking with me this entire time had me make a list of how I feel during certain situations. From that list I was able to identify five central themes that all of the items on the list stem from. I shared them with another pastor who challenged me to combat those five things with the truth of scripture, and in doing that find out what God has to say about each of them. He then had me get a piece of paper, and at the top write "Dear Bill," at the bottom "Love, Jesus" and in between listen to what He has to say about each of these five things.
One of them was a desire for intimacy, and feeling that no one wants intimacy with me. As I looked at scripture and began to listen closely to the voice of Christ He made it clear that intimacy with Him is available, that it is something He longs for with me, but that it must be something that I desire with Him.
James 4.8 says, "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded." God says that if we draw near to Him, He will draw near to us. If we seek intimacy with Him, He will not reject us or turn us away. But intimacy requires effort on our part, cleansing through Christ, and purity through intentional focus. Intimacy with God means shutting out all distractions, and allowing Him to be the only one in the room that you notice.
For a long time this has been hard for me. The more time I have, the more this seems to get put off. The more responsibilities I take on, the more I tend to brush this aside. I'm either too busy, or have too much time on my hands. But I'm finding that God is the only answer to each of those.
Intimacy with God is the only answer to the five themes that everything else in my life falls into. It is only through intimacy with God that He is able to speak into, and fulfill each of those needs and desires. He is the only one that can bring true meaning to each area, and He desires to, but it is only if I am willing to get alone with Him, and take advantage of being alone with Him, that He will teach me the things that He wants me to know.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Thursday, January 14, 2016
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
Focus
Over the past few weeks I've really been challenged with where my focus is. Actually, it's probably been the last few years, but during the last few weeks I've really been hit with it. My pastor is one of the most God focused men I've ever met, and I'm constantly hearing him talk about the anticipation of the return of Christ. This is something he is longing for, and wanting to happen, and if I'm honest, I haven't been looking for that, or wanting it to happen. There are things that I want to accomplish in life. When I was younger it was marriage and a family. Now it's wanting to see my family grow, have a fruitful ministry, and be able to enjoy life. But the more I think about it, the more I'm reminded, and convicted, that this focus is on the temporal, not the eternal.
Heaven is going to be so much better than anything on earth will be. The return of Christ will fully usher in the Kingdom of God, bringing complete restoration, and a closeness with God that cannot be comprehended right now. Why do I spend so much time longing for, and worrying about, the here and now why I'm called to be focused on the eternal? Why do the things of this world, even the good things, matter more to me than the full restoration of God's creation?
I've spent a lot of time, too much time, living for the here and now, praying that Jesus would not come back, but that is contrary to scripture.
Philippians 3.20, "For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ;"
2 Timothy 4.7-8, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing."
The return of Christ is not something to be feared, but longed for. This life is not what God intended, and His return will fully bring life as He intended for it to be lived. I want to live focused on God, longing for what He intended, not focused on the momentary pleasures of this world. but focused on the eternal.
For the past four months I have been working through the Psalms. God led me there, and reading them has helped my focus be on rejoicing in God. When it comes to an eternal focus three verses have really stood out to me.
Psalm 16.8 "I have set the Lord continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken."
Psalm 101.3, "I will set no worthless thing before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not fasten its grip on me."
Psalm 105.4, "Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His face continually."
I want God to be my focus. I want Him to be before and my eyes to be locked on Him. I have been meeting with one of our staff pastors weekly for the past four months, and he has been challenging me in so many ways. Several weeks ago he challenged me with how I see myself, and pointed out to how I drift back and forth from two extremes. There is the strong warrior that never needs to be rescued, that's how I want to see myself, and how I want others to look at me. The reality, is that a lot of the time I see myself as the victim that is left behind and forgotten about. There is either the self sufficient loner who needs no one and does the rescuing, or the pity party who feels like no one cares. The focus is very much on me, and it says to God, "I don't need You, I got this," or, "Why have you forsaken me?"
The reality is that the focus needs to be in the middle, on the cross. God is the hero, He is the one who rescues. God has promised never to leave me or forsake me. I am not the hero, and He will never leave me behind. He has to be the focus. He has to be the one I look at and strive to obey and emulate. The wording of this verse really stood out to me the last time I read it. It states that God is at my right hand, and that because of this I will not be shaken. The reason it hit me is because it reminded me of the Spartan phalanx. In the battle formation each man holds his shield and protects the man on his left. If God is at my right hand, that means I am to His left, and His shield is covering me. If God's shield is covering me, how can I be shaken? If my focus is fully on God, He will cover me. I will never need to be the hero because He is, and I will never have to fear being left behind because He will never abandon me.
If I want my focus to be on God that means I do not want it to be on anything that is not God. Paul said in Philippians 4.8-9, "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you." Paul sets out a list of where our focus is to be, truth, honor, right, purity, lovely, good repute, excellence, and that which is praise worthy. All of these things are only true of God, and the characteristics that flow from Him.
I have spent so much time with worthless things before my eyes. I cannot tell you the hours I have wasted on my phone playing stupid games, or on my computer searching YouTube, or sitting on the couch playing video games or watching Netflix. How many hours have I ignored God in the pursuit of worthless time wasters? How much time have I lost with my family because I wouldn't engage? How many souls have been lost because I gave my time to fruitless pursuits? Last night I sat and watched a couple episodes of the Office, why didn't I spend that time in prayer? I do not want to fall away. One day I will stand before God and give an account of how I spent my time, I don't want to have to explain why I wasted it on things with no eternal value. I do not want worthless things to run my life.
If these things are not to rule my life, I must seek God and His strength. I must seek His face at all times. This world is tempting. It offers pleasure and comfort for the here and now that are so enticing, but ultimately they leave me unfulfilled, and feeling guilty for not investing in something worthwhile. The only way to overcome the world is through the strength of God, and by being focused on God. It is through seeking His face that I come to know Him, and know how He would have me invest the resources I have. His strength empowers me to say no to the temporal and yes to the eternal.
The more I think about this, the more I realize how difficult it is. Do I really want to go spend an hour reading the Bible and praying after a long day at work, when it is so much easier to sit on the couch and let my brain melt? Do I really want to forgo the comforts of life, and maybe even struggle through it, in order to help others? Is it really worth it?
Paul said in Philippians 3.7-11, "But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead."
There is nothing that this world has to offer that compares to life in Christ. There is nothing that I will sacrifice in this world that eternity will not far exceed. I want my focus to be on God, and I want the way I live to reflect that. I want to be eternally focused, and I have not been. This has caused so much selfishness and division. It has caused me to hold on to things that have cost more than I am willing to pay. I want to be able to say what Paul said, "I count all things as loss so that I may know Christ."
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Heaven is going to be so much better than anything on earth will be. The return of Christ will fully usher in the Kingdom of God, bringing complete restoration, and a closeness with God that cannot be comprehended right now. Why do I spend so much time longing for, and worrying about, the here and now why I'm called to be focused on the eternal? Why do the things of this world, even the good things, matter more to me than the full restoration of God's creation?
I've spent a lot of time, too much time, living for the here and now, praying that Jesus would not come back, but that is contrary to scripture.
Philippians 3.20, "For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ;"
2 Timothy 4.7-8, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing."
The return of Christ is not something to be feared, but longed for. This life is not what God intended, and His return will fully bring life as He intended for it to be lived. I want to live focused on God, longing for what He intended, not focused on the momentary pleasures of this world. but focused on the eternal.
For the past four months I have been working through the Psalms. God led me there, and reading them has helped my focus be on rejoicing in God. When it comes to an eternal focus three verses have really stood out to me.
Psalm 16.8 "I have set the Lord continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken."
Psalm 101.3, "I will set no worthless thing before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not fasten its grip on me."
Psalm 105.4, "Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His face continually."
I want God to be my focus. I want Him to be before and my eyes to be locked on Him. I have been meeting with one of our staff pastors weekly for the past four months, and he has been challenging me in so many ways. Several weeks ago he challenged me with how I see myself, and pointed out to how I drift back and forth from two extremes. There is the strong warrior that never needs to be rescued, that's how I want to see myself, and how I want others to look at me. The reality, is that a lot of the time I see myself as the victim that is left behind and forgotten about. There is either the self sufficient loner who needs no one and does the rescuing, or the pity party who feels like no one cares. The focus is very much on me, and it says to God, "I don't need You, I got this," or, "Why have you forsaken me?"
The reality is that the focus needs to be in the middle, on the cross. God is the hero, He is the one who rescues. God has promised never to leave me or forsake me. I am not the hero, and He will never leave me behind. He has to be the focus. He has to be the one I look at and strive to obey and emulate. The wording of this verse really stood out to me the last time I read it. It states that God is at my right hand, and that because of this I will not be shaken. The reason it hit me is because it reminded me of the Spartan phalanx. In the battle formation each man holds his shield and protects the man on his left. If God is at my right hand, that means I am to His left, and His shield is covering me. If God's shield is covering me, how can I be shaken? If my focus is fully on God, He will cover me. I will never need to be the hero because He is, and I will never have to fear being left behind because He will never abandon me.
If I want my focus to be on God that means I do not want it to be on anything that is not God. Paul said in Philippians 4.8-9, "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you." Paul sets out a list of where our focus is to be, truth, honor, right, purity, lovely, good repute, excellence, and that which is praise worthy. All of these things are only true of God, and the characteristics that flow from Him.
I have spent so much time with worthless things before my eyes. I cannot tell you the hours I have wasted on my phone playing stupid games, or on my computer searching YouTube, or sitting on the couch playing video games or watching Netflix. How many hours have I ignored God in the pursuit of worthless time wasters? How much time have I lost with my family because I wouldn't engage? How many souls have been lost because I gave my time to fruitless pursuits? Last night I sat and watched a couple episodes of the Office, why didn't I spend that time in prayer? I do not want to fall away. One day I will stand before God and give an account of how I spent my time, I don't want to have to explain why I wasted it on things with no eternal value. I do not want worthless things to run my life.
If these things are not to rule my life, I must seek God and His strength. I must seek His face at all times. This world is tempting. It offers pleasure and comfort for the here and now that are so enticing, but ultimately they leave me unfulfilled, and feeling guilty for not investing in something worthwhile. The only way to overcome the world is through the strength of God, and by being focused on God. It is through seeking His face that I come to know Him, and know how He would have me invest the resources I have. His strength empowers me to say no to the temporal and yes to the eternal.
The more I think about this, the more I realize how difficult it is. Do I really want to go spend an hour reading the Bible and praying after a long day at work, when it is so much easier to sit on the couch and let my brain melt? Do I really want to forgo the comforts of life, and maybe even struggle through it, in order to help others? Is it really worth it?
Paul said in Philippians 3.7-11, "But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead."
There is nothing that this world has to offer that compares to life in Christ. There is nothing that I will sacrifice in this world that eternity will not far exceed. I want my focus to be on God, and I want the way I live to reflect that. I want to be eternally focused, and I have not been. This has caused so much selfishness and division. It has caused me to hold on to things that have cost more than I am willing to pay. I want to be able to say what Paul said, "I count all things as loss so that I may know Christ."
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Sunday, January 10, 2016
Forged
Yesterday I was at a local coffee shop when I wrote the post. As I left a thought entered my mind. One piece of advice a pastor gave me years ago was don't put everything you know into one sermon. I think the same can be said about blog posts. The katana is an incredible image that has so many implications. Yesterday the focus was on being the katana, not the swordsmith or the Samurai, but the object that is nonexistent without the prior, and a useless dust collector without the later. Without God I am nothing.
Driving from the coffee shop to an appointment, the idea of forging came to my mind. I feel like I tend to see life as a process where the forging ends at some point and God then begins to wield the sword in battle, but the more I think about it, I'm not sure if that's correct. What if, (this is a thought, not a declarative statement) what if this life is merely the forging process, and the katana of our life is only completed at death? This thought challenges how we would see life and eternity. And if this is accurate, it puts the focus on the eternal.
I think that our understanding of heaven is off. We do not become angels when we die, and I do not believe that it will be sitting on clouds, playing harps and singing non-stop for eternity. It honestly sounds really boring, but what if there is more to heaven than that? One of my college professors said that Genesis 1 is as much creation as it is eschatology (end times study). God set the world in motion and it was perfect, exactly as He created it to be. Man sinned, and God began the process of restoration to bring everything back to the state of perfection. In the beginning, Adam had a job to do, "God blessed them; and God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.'" (Genesis 1.28) Adam was a caregiver who tended to creation, enjoyed fellowship with, and offered worship to, God, and lived in paradise.
Again, this is a thought, but what if the purpose of this life is simply to forge the sword and at death it is offered to God for Him to really use? I am not saying that God does not use us here on earth, the Bible clearly shows that God has instructed us to make disciples and proclaim His Kingdom. But it is crucial that we never become complacent and stop growing. The same professor quoted Wesley, "There is no standing still on the Christian journey. You are pressing forward or sliding backwards." I think that life is a process that is preparing us for eternity and all that God has in store then.
Philippians 1.6, "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."
Philippians 3.12-14, " Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."
John 16.33, "These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world."
Romans 5.3-5, "And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."
James 1.2-4, "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."
Romans 8.28-30, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified."
God is at work in us, working to perfect us until the day of Christ. We have not obtained the goal, or been made perfect, so we are to press on toward the goal of Christlikeness. There will be troubles and hardships we face, but Christ has overcome the world. Because of this the trials we encounter serve a purpose. They exist to transform us into Christlikeness by cleansing us of sin and forming us into His image. With Christ, the trials produce the traits and characteristics of God, making us fit for His presence and service. All things work together for the highest good of those who love God, which is becoming like Christ, and that results in glorification.
God is at work in us to mold us into men who are fit to enter His presence and worship and serve Him for eternity. This life is the forge, were we are heated, beaten, cleansed, and shaped to be who God created us to be. The trials we endure, the service we offer to God, are all part of this process. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13.12, "For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known." The best is yet to come. There will be a time when the forging is finished. There will come a time when the katana is finished, sharpened, polished, and handed to the Samurai. But I do not believe it is on this side of eternity.
I am guilty of being too focused on the temporal, and not on the eternal. I get focused on the hardships and lose sight of the end goal of the process and the result. Heaven is not the goal, Christlikeness is. Heaven is the result of becoming like Christ. When we are focused on the eternal, the trials and hardships become not only bearable, but meaningful. Losing sight of the goal has caused my life to look less like Jesus. I have not treated others as Christ would. I have not loved as Christ does. I have claimed to love Jesus, but haven't lived it. I haven't been focused on eternity, and have let the temporal rule me.
I want to live focused on eternity. I want everything I do to mold me more into the image of Christ. I have not done a good job of this recently. I have been distracted by the here and now, focusing on what I want to accomplish in this life, and not on what God wants to accomplish in me to prepare me for eternity. I want to be forged, and whenever God is done, to enter His presence ready for whatever service He has for me.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Driving from the coffee shop to an appointment, the idea of forging came to my mind. I feel like I tend to see life as a process where the forging ends at some point and God then begins to wield the sword in battle, but the more I think about it, I'm not sure if that's correct. What if, (this is a thought, not a declarative statement) what if this life is merely the forging process, and the katana of our life is only completed at death? This thought challenges how we would see life and eternity. And if this is accurate, it puts the focus on the eternal.
I think that our understanding of heaven is off. We do not become angels when we die, and I do not believe that it will be sitting on clouds, playing harps and singing non-stop for eternity. It honestly sounds really boring, but what if there is more to heaven than that? One of my college professors said that Genesis 1 is as much creation as it is eschatology (end times study). God set the world in motion and it was perfect, exactly as He created it to be. Man sinned, and God began the process of restoration to bring everything back to the state of perfection. In the beginning, Adam had a job to do, "God blessed them; and God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.'" (Genesis 1.28) Adam was a caregiver who tended to creation, enjoyed fellowship with, and offered worship to, God, and lived in paradise.
Again, this is a thought, but what if the purpose of this life is simply to forge the sword and at death it is offered to God for Him to really use? I am not saying that God does not use us here on earth, the Bible clearly shows that God has instructed us to make disciples and proclaim His Kingdom. But it is crucial that we never become complacent and stop growing. The same professor quoted Wesley, "There is no standing still on the Christian journey. You are pressing forward or sliding backwards." I think that life is a process that is preparing us for eternity and all that God has in store then.
Philippians 1.6, "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."
Philippians 3.12-14, " Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."
John 16.33, "These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world."
Romans 5.3-5, "And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."
James 1.2-4, "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."
Romans 8.28-30, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified."
God is at work in us, working to perfect us until the day of Christ. We have not obtained the goal, or been made perfect, so we are to press on toward the goal of Christlikeness. There will be troubles and hardships we face, but Christ has overcome the world. Because of this the trials we encounter serve a purpose. They exist to transform us into Christlikeness by cleansing us of sin and forming us into His image. With Christ, the trials produce the traits and characteristics of God, making us fit for His presence and service. All things work together for the highest good of those who love God, which is becoming like Christ, and that results in glorification.
God is at work in us to mold us into men who are fit to enter His presence and worship and serve Him for eternity. This life is the forge, were we are heated, beaten, cleansed, and shaped to be who God created us to be. The trials we endure, the service we offer to God, are all part of this process. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13.12, "For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known." The best is yet to come. There will be a time when the forging is finished. There will come a time when the katana is finished, sharpened, polished, and handed to the Samurai. But I do not believe it is on this side of eternity.
I am guilty of being too focused on the temporal, and not on the eternal. I get focused on the hardships and lose sight of the end goal of the process and the result. Heaven is not the goal, Christlikeness is. Heaven is the result of becoming like Christ. When we are focused on the eternal, the trials and hardships become not only bearable, but meaningful. Losing sight of the goal has caused my life to look less like Jesus. I have not treated others as Christ would. I have not loved as Christ does. I have claimed to love Jesus, but haven't lived it. I haven't been focused on eternity, and have let the temporal rule me.
I want to live focused on eternity. I want everything I do to mold me more into the image of Christ. I have not done a good job of this recently. I have been distracted by the here and now, focusing on what I want to accomplish in this life, and not on what God wants to accomplish in me to prepare me for eternity. I want to be forged, and whenever God is done, to enter His presence ready for whatever service He has for me.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Saturday, January 9, 2016
The Katana
Back in September I was over at my parent's house. I was half asleep down in the basement around 11:30 PM when one of the windows in the kitchen slid open setting off the alarm. At that point I was awake. And for the next four or five hours I couldn't fall asleep. There had been something on my mind for a few days leading up to that moment, so I decided to make good use of my time. I got on YouTube and found a video on how they make traditional Japanese katanas.
The Samurai katana is without question, the greatest sword ever made, and the process of making this incredible weapon is amazing. It begins with an iron sand that is heated to 1,000 degrees in a earthen furnace for three days to form a steel called tamahagane. The best pieces of this steel are selected and then sent to a master swordsmith to begin the forging process. The steel is further evaluated and the best pieces are selected for the blade. harder pieces are used for the edge, while softer pieces make up the core of the blade.
Pieces of steel are piled, heated, beaten together, and then folded more than a dozen times to make them one uniform piece of metal. The core is inserted into the edge, and then the joined pieces are pounded to the proper length, thickness, and shape of the sword. At this point a clay mixture is applied to the blade, thicker on the back and thinner on the cutting edge. The sword is again heated, and then placed in water to cool. The thinner clay on the edge cools faster, making the edge hard and strong, while the clay on the back cools slower, making it softer and more flexible to be able to absorb vibrations better during combat. This cooling process also causes the steel to bow giving the sword its shape.
Next the blade is sharpened and sent off for polishing. The handle is made and attached, the scabbard is assembled, and the sword is ready to be in the hands of a Samurai. The process takes months; heating, pounding, shaping. The forging process serves to remove impurities from the steel, and results in a weapon that is almost unbreakable. The shape of the blade's cutting edge makes it so that the sword almost never needs to be resharpened. The perfect weapon, made by masters, and entrusted to the use of a warrior. It's an amazing thing.
I'm a guy. I love stuff like this. Look at the bottom right of this page, and you'll see a picture of the Spartan phalanx. I love movies like Gladiator, The Last Samurai, The Patriot, and anything else with a valiant warrior standing firm against evil. The thought of an epic battle, standing firm for what is right, being willing to die for a just cause, calls to something in my soul. Part of me wishes I would have tried to be a Navy SEAL. I want to be a hero. I want to save the day. I want to be the Spartan standing firm with his brothers. I want to be the Samurai wielding his katana with skill and precision. But I'm starting to wonder if that is my place.
Almost a year ago I began working on what will hopefully become a published book. I read something in the Bible that got me thinking, and led to some other investigations. For almost a year now I've been studying, putting ideas together, and ultimately living the subject matter. It deals with spiritual warfare, the enemy, and doing battle with him. Originally it involved men as the hero of our story, standing courageously against the devil, and conquering him because of Christ. Now, I'm starting to see things differently. I am not the hero. I am not the valiant warrior that the devil fears. I am not the Samurai, and I'm not even the swordsmith. I'm the katana.
Ephesians 2.8-10, "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them."
Romans 5.3-5, "And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."
James 1.2-4, "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."
Philippians 2.13, "for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure."
We are God's workmanship, He is the swordsmith. He is working to forge us into a weapon He can use to build His Kingdom. It is through His grace, and because of His love, that we face trials. We are heated to burn away the impurities. We are pounded to shape us into the image of Christ. God is at work in us to make us fit and useful for His service. We do not make ourselves fit for God.
Ephesians 6.10, "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might."
James 4.7, "Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you."
1 Peter 5.6-7, "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you."
Romans 8.28-30, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified."
We are the sword in God's hands, He is the Samurai. God is the one who fights. God is the one who wields the weapon and wins the victory. It is God who gives us strength because of His might. It is through submission to God that the makes the devil flee. It is through humility before God, casting our cares on Him, that allows us to receive His victory. It is God who causes all things to work together for good. We do not win victory. We do not defeat the devil, God does.
The praise for crafting an incredible weapon belongs to God. The honor of victory belongs to God. The sword exists to praise the maker and glorify the victor. Without them the sword would not exist or be of any use.
I am not the swordsmith, I am not the Samurai. I do not deserve any credit for who I am, or any praise for anything I achieve. All of that belongs to God. For a decade I have been striving to play God's part. I have been trying to make myself pleasing and useful to Him. I have been trying to accomplish victory for Him. It hasn't worked, and part of me wonders if I have hindered what God could have accomplished.
Right now I am in the forging process, and in all honesty I feel that this process lasts a lifetime. God is constantly at work, molding us into the image of Christ. I've been frustrated with how long this is taking, and at the very least weekly (often daily) I wish God would just hurry up and get this process over with. I have to constantly remind myself that we're after a traditional katana. During World War II, Japanese soldiers carried katanas into battle. They were needed quickly, and there was no way to craft them the proper way. They began to be mass produced using poured steel, and they were greatly inferior. I don't want to be a mass produced, cheap imitation. I want to be a unique, hand crafted, quality weapon in the hands of God.
This process is not easy, and it really isn't that enjoyable, but the end result is more than worth it. I want God to forge me, and I want Him to be glorified by who He has made me. I want Him to use me however He sees fit. I want Him to be honored for everything that happens in my life. I don't want to take the swordsmith's praise, I don't want to take the Samurai's honor. I don't want to play the part that is not mine to play. I simply want to take my place as the katana.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VE_4zHNcieM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxwWf-MfZVk
The Samurai katana is without question, the greatest sword ever made, and the process of making this incredible weapon is amazing. It begins with an iron sand that is heated to 1,000 degrees in a earthen furnace for three days to form a steel called tamahagane. The best pieces of this steel are selected and then sent to a master swordsmith to begin the forging process. The steel is further evaluated and the best pieces are selected for the blade. harder pieces are used for the edge, while softer pieces make up the core of the blade.
Pieces of steel are piled, heated, beaten together, and then folded more than a dozen times to make them one uniform piece of metal. The core is inserted into the edge, and then the joined pieces are pounded to the proper length, thickness, and shape of the sword. At this point a clay mixture is applied to the blade, thicker on the back and thinner on the cutting edge. The sword is again heated, and then placed in water to cool. The thinner clay on the edge cools faster, making the edge hard and strong, while the clay on the back cools slower, making it softer and more flexible to be able to absorb vibrations better during combat. This cooling process also causes the steel to bow giving the sword its shape.
Next the blade is sharpened and sent off for polishing. The handle is made and attached, the scabbard is assembled, and the sword is ready to be in the hands of a Samurai. The process takes months; heating, pounding, shaping. The forging process serves to remove impurities from the steel, and results in a weapon that is almost unbreakable. The shape of the blade's cutting edge makes it so that the sword almost never needs to be resharpened. The perfect weapon, made by masters, and entrusted to the use of a warrior. It's an amazing thing.
I'm a guy. I love stuff like this. Look at the bottom right of this page, and you'll see a picture of the Spartan phalanx. I love movies like Gladiator, The Last Samurai, The Patriot, and anything else with a valiant warrior standing firm against evil. The thought of an epic battle, standing firm for what is right, being willing to die for a just cause, calls to something in my soul. Part of me wishes I would have tried to be a Navy SEAL. I want to be a hero. I want to save the day. I want to be the Spartan standing firm with his brothers. I want to be the Samurai wielding his katana with skill and precision. But I'm starting to wonder if that is my place.
Almost a year ago I began working on what will hopefully become a published book. I read something in the Bible that got me thinking, and led to some other investigations. For almost a year now I've been studying, putting ideas together, and ultimately living the subject matter. It deals with spiritual warfare, the enemy, and doing battle with him. Originally it involved men as the hero of our story, standing courageously against the devil, and conquering him because of Christ. Now, I'm starting to see things differently. I am not the hero. I am not the valiant warrior that the devil fears. I am not the Samurai, and I'm not even the swordsmith. I'm the katana.
Ephesians 2.8-10, "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them."
Romans 5.3-5, "And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."
James 1.2-4, "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."
Philippians 2.13, "for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure."
We are God's workmanship, He is the swordsmith. He is working to forge us into a weapon He can use to build His Kingdom. It is through His grace, and because of His love, that we face trials. We are heated to burn away the impurities. We are pounded to shape us into the image of Christ. God is at work in us to make us fit and useful for His service. We do not make ourselves fit for God.
Ephesians 6.10, "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might."
James 4.7, "Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you."
1 Peter 5.6-7, "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you."
Romans 8.28-30, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified."
We are the sword in God's hands, He is the Samurai. God is the one who fights. God is the one who wields the weapon and wins the victory. It is God who gives us strength because of His might. It is through submission to God that the makes the devil flee. It is through humility before God, casting our cares on Him, that allows us to receive His victory. It is God who causes all things to work together for good. We do not win victory. We do not defeat the devil, God does.
The praise for crafting an incredible weapon belongs to God. The honor of victory belongs to God. The sword exists to praise the maker and glorify the victor. Without them the sword would not exist or be of any use.
I am not the swordsmith, I am not the Samurai. I do not deserve any credit for who I am, or any praise for anything I achieve. All of that belongs to God. For a decade I have been striving to play God's part. I have been trying to make myself pleasing and useful to Him. I have been trying to accomplish victory for Him. It hasn't worked, and part of me wonders if I have hindered what God could have accomplished.
Right now I am in the forging process, and in all honesty I feel that this process lasts a lifetime. God is constantly at work, molding us into the image of Christ. I've been frustrated with how long this is taking, and at the very least weekly (often daily) I wish God would just hurry up and get this process over with. I have to constantly remind myself that we're after a traditional katana. During World War II, Japanese soldiers carried katanas into battle. They were needed quickly, and there was no way to craft them the proper way. They began to be mass produced using poured steel, and they were greatly inferior. I don't want to be a mass produced, cheap imitation. I want to be a unique, hand crafted, quality weapon in the hands of God.
This process is not easy, and it really isn't that enjoyable, but the end result is more than worth it. I want God to forge me, and I want Him to be glorified by who He has made me. I want Him to use me however He sees fit. I want Him to be honored for everything that happens in my life. I don't want to take the swordsmith's praise, I don't want to take the Samurai's honor. I don't want to play the part that is not mine to play. I simply want to take my place as the katana.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VE_4zHNcieM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxwWf-MfZVk
Friday, January 8, 2016
Who He Is
The biggest problem we have in the world today is how we view and approach God. Let that sink in for a minute.
Think of the way people refer to God. The Big Guy. The Man upstairs. Is such a casual response really appropriate? Think of the reasons people often seek God. "God, help me with ...", "God, heal me of ...", "God, give me ...", it turns God into an ATM, a medicine cabinet, or Santa. We casually approach Him with our needs, hoping He will solve all of our problems, but we never offer Him the reverence and honor that His very nature demands. God exists to serve us, take care of us, and handle all of our problems. It makes us central and God secondary.
I'm amazed at the arrogance, and I'm guilty of it in my own life. So often my prayers dive right into what I need God to do for me, how I need His help. Over the past few months I have spent a lot of time pouring out my needs and requests to God, and every time I'm reminded of how Jesus instructed us to pray. "Pray, then, in this way: 'Our Father who is in heaven, hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.'" (Matthew 6.9-10) Prayer is to begin with God being acknowledged and honored for who He is. Prayer is to begin with a focus on God's desire and God's plan.
Galatians 4.9a says, "But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God" and that is why prayer is to begin as it does. It is not a big deal that I know God. He spoke the universe into existence. He created light itself from the words of His mouth. He invented the scent of a rose, the colors of the rainbow, the sound of water falling over rocks. God formed man out of the dust and breathed into Him the breath of life. When man disobeyed and sinned, He immediately went to work at restoring him to righteousness. He came to earth as a man, lived a perfect life, modeling how He intended for life to be lived, and then died in our place to pay for sin. He rose from the dead and sent us His Holy Spirit so that we could be empowered to live as He showed us. It is not a big deal that we know who this God is, we should, but the fact that this God knows us, loves us, and died so that we could have a relationship with Him is a big deal. It is not a big deal that we know Him, but that fact that He knows us, that is huge.
This year I have felt led to read My Utmost for His Highest. I read it years ago in college, and its been moved from shelf to shelf over the past ten years, but with my current life situation and the focus that God is trying to give me, I have felt the need to work through it again this year. On January 1, Oswald Chambers said,
"But before we choose to follow God's will, a crisis must develop in our lives. This happens because we tend to be unresponsive to God's gentler nudges. He brings us to the place where He asks us to be our utmost for Him and we begin to debate. He then providentially produces a crisis where we have to decide - for or against. That moment becomes a great crossroads in our lives. If a crisis has come to you on any front, surrender your will to Jesus absolutely and irrevocably."
This is where I find myself right now, dealing with crisis. In hindsight, I've seen how God has been making gentle nudges for years. The last few times I've read Wild at Heart and The Way of the Wild Heart I felt the need to explore the subject more, and begin the process of masculine initiation. I had no idea how, and felt like I was very alone in the process. Because of the feelings I shared yesterday it was difficult to ask for help, and so I made the mistake of trying to figure it out on my own, and ended up settling for a theoretical head knowledge of masculinity.
I don't know how many times my wife suggested that we do marriage counseling together, but again, the same feelings that wouldn't allow me to seek the guidance of men prevented me from seeing the issues in my marriage that I couldn't fix. My wife and I became more and more distant because I didn't want to take the gift of God's nudging. And so this past September the crisis occurred. God's nudging had done all that it could, but I had not responded to any of it.
Since then I have been on a journey, one that in all honesty could have happened much differently had my approach to God not been so casual, and arrogant. It has been an experience of learning who He is and who I am. On January 2, Chambers wrote, "God does not tell you what He is going to do - He reveals to you who He is." This is where we need to live.
God does not exist to solve our problems, we exist to know Him. God created us to have fellowship with Him and worship Him. He did not create us because He was bored and needed something to do, and so He made a bunch of needy humans to occupy His time. We were created to know God so that we could glorify Him. And the most amazing thing is that God desires for us to know Him. He is so far above us, and yet He does not look at us with arrogant disdain. He looks on us with unconditional love, and invites us to know Him.
It is not a big deal that we know God, but it is huge that God knows us, and invites us to know Him intimately. My hope is to come to know God more, and to exist solely to know Him and glorify Him.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Think of the way people refer to God. The Big Guy. The Man upstairs. Is such a casual response really appropriate? Think of the reasons people often seek God. "God, help me with ...", "God, heal me of ...", "God, give me ...", it turns God into an ATM, a medicine cabinet, or Santa. We casually approach Him with our needs, hoping He will solve all of our problems, but we never offer Him the reverence and honor that His very nature demands. God exists to serve us, take care of us, and handle all of our problems. It makes us central and God secondary.
I'm amazed at the arrogance, and I'm guilty of it in my own life. So often my prayers dive right into what I need God to do for me, how I need His help. Over the past few months I have spent a lot of time pouring out my needs and requests to God, and every time I'm reminded of how Jesus instructed us to pray. "Pray, then, in this way: 'Our Father who is in heaven, hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.'" (Matthew 6.9-10) Prayer is to begin with God being acknowledged and honored for who He is. Prayer is to begin with a focus on God's desire and God's plan.
Galatians 4.9a says, "But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God" and that is why prayer is to begin as it does. It is not a big deal that I know God. He spoke the universe into existence. He created light itself from the words of His mouth. He invented the scent of a rose, the colors of the rainbow, the sound of water falling over rocks. God formed man out of the dust and breathed into Him the breath of life. When man disobeyed and sinned, He immediately went to work at restoring him to righteousness. He came to earth as a man, lived a perfect life, modeling how He intended for life to be lived, and then died in our place to pay for sin. He rose from the dead and sent us His Holy Spirit so that we could be empowered to live as He showed us. It is not a big deal that we know who this God is, we should, but the fact that this God knows us, loves us, and died so that we could have a relationship with Him is a big deal. It is not a big deal that we know Him, but that fact that He knows us, that is huge.
This year I have felt led to read My Utmost for His Highest. I read it years ago in college, and its been moved from shelf to shelf over the past ten years, but with my current life situation and the focus that God is trying to give me, I have felt the need to work through it again this year. On January 1, Oswald Chambers said,
"But before we choose to follow God's will, a crisis must develop in our lives. This happens because we tend to be unresponsive to God's gentler nudges. He brings us to the place where He asks us to be our utmost for Him and we begin to debate. He then providentially produces a crisis where we have to decide - for or against. That moment becomes a great crossroads in our lives. If a crisis has come to you on any front, surrender your will to Jesus absolutely and irrevocably."
This is where I find myself right now, dealing with crisis. In hindsight, I've seen how God has been making gentle nudges for years. The last few times I've read Wild at Heart and The Way of the Wild Heart I felt the need to explore the subject more, and begin the process of masculine initiation. I had no idea how, and felt like I was very alone in the process. Because of the feelings I shared yesterday it was difficult to ask for help, and so I made the mistake of trying to figure it out on my own, and ended up settling for a theoretical head knowledge of masculinity.
I don't know how many times my wife suggested that we do marriage counseling together, but again, the same feelings that wouldn't allow me to seek the guidance of men prevented me from seeing the issues in my marriage that I couldn't fix. My wife and I became more and more distant because I didn't want to take the gift of God's nudging. And so this past September the crisis occurred. God's nudging had done all that it could, but I had not responded to any of it.
Since then I have been on a journey, one that in all honesty could have happened much differently had my approach to God not been so casual, and arrogant. It has been an experience of learning who He is and who I am. On January 2, Chambers wrote, "God does not tell you what He is going to do - He reveals to you who He is." This is where we need to live.
God does not exist to solve our problems, we exist to know Him. God created us to have fellowship with Him and worship Him. He did not create us because He was bored and needed something to do, and so He made a bunch of needy humans to occupy His time. We were created to know God so that we could glorify Him. And the most amazing thing is that God desires for us to know Him. He is so far above us, and yet He does not look at us with arrogant disdain. He looks on us with unconditional love, and invites us to know Him.
It is not a big deal that we know God, but it is huge that God knows us, and invites us to know Him intimately. My hope is to come to know God more, and to exist solely to know Him and glorify Him.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Thursday, January 7, 2016
It's Been a While
So I haven't written in months. There are several reasons, one was I got behind. Grad school last spring and summer was busy, really busy. I missed a few days and never got caught up. Two, it felt very obligatory, this wasn't giving me any joy or fulfillment, and it began to feel like a self-driven act. It became drudgery, and sucked the life out of me. The posts I was writing felt very shallow. Third, and most important, is life. I'm not going into detail just yet, that will come at some point later, but I was not in a place to be "preaching" the word.
Over the past month or so I've felt that it's been time to start writing again. I've been hesitant to do this, but after some guidance from a mentor, encouraging me to begin ministering again, and the encouragement from some of my closest friends, I feel that it's time. Earlier this week one of my brothers called me and shared some things he has been battling, in that conversation I was able to pour into him, and it was so energizing. I feel like that has been something missing from my life, and so I feel like it is time to begin the blog again.
In the past few months I have been through things I never thought I would go through. For the first time in my life I feel like I can relate to real suffering and hardship. I have experienced God's work in my life in a way that I have desperately needed for years. I have come to own truths that I have needed my entire life, and I have begun to understand more of what God wants for my life.
I have seen the results of pride, brokenness, and sin in ways that have beaten me up. I honestly don't know that I have ever been more exhausted and worn out than I have been. I have seen what it is to do real battle with the enemy, and I've seen the power of God bring victory in ways I never knew. I have struggled with hope, battled despair and discouragement, and wondered if God even cares at all. I have known heartbreak and suffering that I pray no one else ever has to experience.
I've seen how I've hurt others, and how much division refusing to offer forgiveness brings. I'm learning how real the enemy is, and how powerful, and I'm learning that victory is only found in God. I've learned that my own strength is worthless and accomplishes nothing. I've seen that the only thing I do in spiritual warfare is call on God and watch as He takes care of the enemy. So much of what I have thought over the past several years has been shaken. God is at work in me, helping me to more clearly understand who He is, and who I am by comparison. It's humbling to say the least.
I think the central thing that I have been hit with is God. I feel so much of my life has been about what I think I need to do for Him. It has been about what I think He wants, and how I think He needs me to be available. I'm learning that He doesn't need me. I'm learning that this life has never been about me, at all. I'm learning, or rather re-realizing, that all of this is about God. This is not about Him solving my problems or meeting my needs, it is about Him being glorified and me learning more about who He is. The point is not to get what I think I need from God, but to come to know Him for who He is.
I have made a lot of mistakes. I've been afraid to let people know how I struggle. I've felt for years that people have this image of who I am, and that I can't let them down. I've put on an act, trying to be who I feel everyone thinks I am, and it honestly almost destroyed me. My life has felt like a plane crash. There are survivors and I'm trying to organize everything and take care of everyone. The issue is I have a gash in my left arm that is bleeding heavily. I've covered it up, not feeling like anyone has time to worry about me, and tried to fix everyone else's issues, taking care of them. The problem is, I'm bleeding out.
I've experienced ministry failure, and have almost destroyed my marriage because I wouldn't let anyone look at the wound. I've felt that I can't be a burden to anyone because it's my job to take care of them. That's how I've lived for almost a decade, and it hasn't worked. I've taken weight on myself that has never been mine to carry. Because of this I've put pressure on others that has never been theirs.
My hope in writing again is to point others back to God, and in the process, personally come to know Him more. My prayer is that by coming to know Him, He will bring full healing and restoration to every area of my life.
I will ask for your prayers. God has been doing so much in my life over the past several months, but there is still so much I am waiting on Him to do. I have learned so much about who I am in Him, and the truth that He speaks into my life, but there is still so much to hear and learn.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Over the past month or so I've felt that it's been time to start writing again. I've been hesitant to do this, but after some guidance from a mentor, encouraging me to begin ministering again, and the encouragement from some of my closest friends, I feel that it's time. Earlier this week one of my brothers called me and shared some things he has been battling, in that conversation I was able to pour into him, and it was so energizing. I feel like that has been something missing from my life, and so I feel like it is time to begin the blog again.
In the past few months I have been through things I never thought I would go through. For the first time in my life I feel like I can relate to real suffering and hardship. I have experienced God's work in my life in a way that I have desperately needed for years. I have come to own truths that I have needed my entire life, and I have begun to understand more of what God wants for my life.
I have seen the results of pride, brokenness, and sin in ways that have beaten me up. I honestly don't know that I have ever been more exhausted and worn out than I have been. I have seen what it is to do real battle with the enemy, and I've seen the power of God bring victory in ways I never knew. I have struggled with hope, battled despair and discouragement, and wondered if God even cares at all. I have known heartbreak and suffering that I pray no one else ever has to experience.
I've seen how I've hurt others, and how much division refusing to offer forgiveness brings. I'm learning how real the enemy is, and how powerful, and I'm learning that victory is only found in God. I've learned that my own strength is worthless and accomplishes nothing. I've seen that the only thing I do in spiritual warfare is call on God and watch as He takes care of the enemy. So much of what I have thought over the past several years has been shaken. God is at work in me, helping me to more clearly understand who He is, and who I am by comparison. It's humbling to say the least.
I think the central thing that I have been hit with is God. I feel so much of my life has been about what I think I need to do for Him. It has been about what I think He wants, and how I think He needs me to be available. I'm learning that He doesn't need me. I'm learning that this life has never been about me, at all. I'm learning, or rather re-realizing, that all of this is about God. This is not about Him solving my problems or meeting my needs, it is about Him being glorified and me learning more about who He is. The point is not to get what I think I need from God, but to come to know Him for who He is.
I have made a lot of mistakes. I've been afraid to let people know how I struggle. I've felt for years that people have this image of who I am, and that I can't let them down. I've put on an act, trying to be who I feel everyone thinks I am, and it honestly almost destroyed me. My life has felt like a plane crash. There are survivors and I'm trying to organize everything and take care of everyone. The issue is I have a gash in my left arm that is bleeding heavily. I've covered it up, not feeling like anyone has time to worry about me, and tried to fix everyone else's issues, taking care of them. The problem is, I'm bleeding out.
I've experienced ministry failure, and have almost destroyed my marriage because I wouldn't let anyone look at the wound. I've felt that I can't be a burden to anyone because it's my job to take care of them. That's how I've lived for almost a decade, and it hasn't worked. I've taken weight on myself that has never been mine to carry. Because of this I've put pressure on others that has never been theirs.
My hope in writing again is to point others back to God, and in the process, personally come to know Him more. My prayer is that by coming to know Him, He will bring full healing and restoration to every area of my life.
I will ask for your prayers. God has been doing so much in my life over the past several months, but there is still so much I am waiting on Him to do. I have learned so much about who I am in Him, and the truth that He speaks into my life, but there is still so much to hear and learn.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Who Will Go With Me
"Then David said to Ahimelech the Hittite and to Abishai the son of Zeruiah, Joab’s brother, saying, 'Who will go down with me to Saul in the camp?' And Abishai said, 'I will go down with you.'" -1 Samuel 26.6
Saul has pursued David and set up camp for the night. Saul is in the center of the camp with his men surrounding him, and David plans to visit during the night. He asks who will come along with him on this mission, and Abishai volunteers. This is not necessarily the safest mission. They are walking into the middle of the enemy camp. One wrong move and thousands of men are awake and on top of them. If they are captured it is certain death, and yet Abishai volunteers to go. He knows the risks involved, but he is standing by David.
We need friends like this. We need friends who are willing to stand by us, even in the most dangerous of times. We need brothers who have our backs, that are willing to bleed with us, and if necessary, die by our side.
Men, do you have friends like this? Are you a friend like this? This is not the type of relationship that you have with many people. I have about three friends that this applies to. But I know they have my back at all times, and they know I have theirs. They are willing to go with me into dangerous areas. To have that sort of friend you have to be that sort of friend.
Let us be men who are willing to go. Let us be men who are brave and dependable.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Saul has pursued David and set up camp for the night. Saul is in the center of the camp with his men surrounding him, and David plans to visit during the night. He asks who will come along with him on this mission, and Abishai volunteers. This is not necessarily the safest mission. They are walking into the middle of the enemy camp. One wrong move and thousands of men are awake and on top of them. If they are captured it is certain death, and yet Abishai volunteers to go. He knows the risks involved, but he is standing by David.
We need friends like this. We need friends who are willing to stand by us, even in the most dangerous of times. We need brothers who have our backs, that are willing to bleed with us, and if necessary, die by our side.
Men, do you have friends like this? Are you a friend like this? This is not the type of relationship that you have with many people. I have about three friends that this applies to. But I know they have my back at all times, and they know I have theirs. They are willing to go with me into dangerous areas. To have that sort of friend you have to be that sort of friend.
Let us be men who are willing to go. Let us be men who are brave and dependable.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
Undeserved Mercy
"Then the Ziphites came to Saul at Gibeah, saying, 'Is not David hiding on the hill of Hachilah, which is before Jeshimon?' So Saul arose and went down to the wilderness of Ziph, having with him three thousand chosen men of Israel, to search for David in the wilderness of Ziph. Saul camped in the hill of Hachilah, which is before Jeshimon, beside the road, and David was staying in the wilderness. When he saw that Saul came after him into the wilderness, David sent out spies, and he knew that Saul was definitely coming. David then arose and came to the place where Saul had camped. And David saw the place where Saul lay, and Abner the son of Ner, the commander of his army; and Saul was lying in the circle of the camp, and the people were camped around him... So David and Abishai came to the people by night, and behold, Saul lay sleeping inside the circle of the camp with his spear stuck in the ground at his head; and Abner and the people were lying around him. Then Abishai said to David, 'Today God has delivered your enemy into your hand; now therefore, please let me strike him with the spear to the ground with one stroke, and I will not strike him the second time.' But David said to Abishai, 'Do not destroy him, for who can stretch out his hand against the Lord’s anointed and be without guilt?' David also said, 'As the Lord lives, surely the Lord will strike him, or his day will come that he dies, or he will go down into battle and perish.'" -1 Samuel 26.1-5, 7-10
Yet again Saul is out to kill David. For the second time he has pursued him into the wilderness in an attempt to remove this threat. And for the second time David spares Saul's life as he holds it in his hands. After the first pursuit, when David spares him, Saul gives the impression that he is done chasing David. However, news arrives of David's location, and Saul cannot resist. He takes a force that out numbers David's five to one, and sets up camp. David with a single companion sneak into the camp, find Saul, and again spares his life.
Reading this makes me think of the saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me." This is the second time Saul has chased David in the wilderness seeking his life, but it is far from the second time Saul has tried to kill him. There is no reason to believe that Saul is ever going to stop seeking David's life, after all, the last time this situation occurred Saul admitted his guilt and yet here they are again. And yet again, David shows mercy. It is not David's place or right to strike down God's anointed king, and he refuses to do so.
Does Saul deserve Mercy, probably not. Again, he's tried to kill David on multiple occasions, and there is no reason to believe he won't try again in the future. But David does not allow himself to give in to the temptation. He knows that Saul is God's anointed king and will not raise his hand against him.
Men, if this was you, what would you do? Take out the killing aspect, and what do you do when someone screws you over? Again, I think of the "Fool me one, fool me twice" saying, and part of me is inclined say you don't get a second chance. I don't believe you have to put yourself in the position to be taken advantage of, or abused, over and over, but do you offer forgiveness for the past offenses? That is where we need to show mercy. Forgiveness does not mean that what happened was ok. It does not say it didn't matter or hurt. It does not give the person permission to do it again. All it says is I do not hold this against you, and I will not allow myself to be imprisoned by it. Mercy gives what is not deserved, and allows God to handle it.
Let us be men of mercy.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Yet again Saul is out to kill David. For the second time he has pursued him into the wilderness in an attempt to remove this threat. And for the second time David spares Saul's life as he holds it in his hands. After the first pursuit, when David spares him, Saul gives the impression that he is done chasing David. However, news arrives of David's location, and Saul cannot resist. He takes a force that out numbers David's five to one, and sets up camp. David with a single companion sneak into the camp, find Saul, and again spares his life.
Reading this makes me think of the saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me." This is the second time Saul has chased David in the wilderness seeking his life, but it is far from the second time Saul has tried to kill him. There is no reason to believe that Saul is ever going to stop seeking David's life, after all, the last time this situation occurred Saul admitted his guilt and yet here they are again. And yet again, David shows mercy. It is not David's place or right to strike down God's anointed king, and he refuses to do so.
Does Saul deserve Mercy, probably not. Again, he's tried to kill David on multiple occasions, and there is no reason to believe he won't try again in the future. But David does not allow himself to give in to the temptation. He knows that Saul is God's anointed king and will not raise his hand against him.
Men, if this was you, what would you do? Take out the killing aspect, and what do you do when someone screws you over? Again, I think of the "Fool me one, fool me twice" saying, and part of me is inclined say you don't get a second chance. I don't believe you have to put yourself in the position to be taken advantage of, or abused, over and over, but do you offer forgiveness for the past offenses? That is where we need to show mercy. Forgiveness does not mean that what happened was ok. It does not say it didn't matter or hurt. It does not give the person permission to do it again. All it says is I do not hold this against you, and I will not allow myself to be imprisoned by it. Mercy gives what is not deserved, and allows God to handle it.
Let us be men of mercy.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Monday, May 4, 2015
Beginning of the Downfall
"When the servants of David came to Abigail at Carmel, they spoke to her, saying, 'David has sent us to you to take you as his wife.' She arose and bowed with her face to the ground and said, 'Behold, your maidservant is a maid to wash the feet of my lord’s servants.' Then Abigail quickly arose, and rode on a donkey, with her five maidens who attended her; and she followed the messengers of David and became his wife. David had also taken Ahinoam of Jezreel, and they both became his wives." -1 Samuel 25.40-43
God brought justice on Nabal, taking his life. When David hears of this he sends a marriage proposal to Nabal's widow Abigail. He was already married to Saul's daughter, but verse 44 informs us that Saul had given her to another man. David takes a new wife, but we see that she is not the only one. In addition to Abigail he has also married Ahinoam of Jezreel.
Throughout the Old Testament we have seen several men with multiple wives, but even though it was cultural and political, it violates God's design, and it begins to set up David's downfall. God created marriage to be between one man and one woman until death. David is compromising that here, and it will lead to the future compromises he makes.
Men, daily we have the opportunity to compromise. We are presented with situations where we can do something for an advantage or simply because we want to. How often do those things lead us away from God's original design? Each time we compromise it makes the next time that much easier. What compromise will be your final downfall?
Let us be men who refuse to compromise. Let us be men who never let the downfall begin.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
God brought justice on Nabal, taking his life. When David hears of this he sends a marriage proposal to Nabal's widow Abigail. He was already married to Saul's daughter, but verse 44 informs us that Saul had given her to another man. David takes a new wife, but we see that she is not the only one. In addition to Abigail he has also married Ahinoam of Jezreel.
Throughout the Old Testament we have seen several men with multiple wives, but even though it was cultural and political, it violates God's design, and it begins to set up David's downfall. God created marriage to be between one man and one woman until death. David is compromising that here, and it will lead to the future compromises he makes.
Men, daily we have the opportunity to compromise. We are presented with situations where we can do something for an advantage or simply because we want to. How often do those things lead us away from God's original design? Each time we compromise it makes the next time that much easier. What compromise will be your final downfall?
Let us be men who refuse to compromise. Let us be men who never let the downfall begin.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Sunday, May 3, 2015
The Voice of Reason
"Then David said to Abigail, 'Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me, and blessed be your discernment, and blessed be you, who have kept me this day from bloodshed and from avenging myself by my own hand. Nevertheless, as the Lord God of Israel lives, who has restrained me from harming you, unless you had come quickly to meet me, surely there would not have been left to Nabal until the morning light as much as one male.' So David received from her hand what she had brought him and said to her, 'Go up to your house in peace. See, I have listened to you and granted your request.'" -1 Samuel 25.32-35
There was a rich man named Nabal whose shepherds had received protection from David's men. David sends a request to Nabal, seeking supplies, and tells him of how he has taken care of his works. Nabal refuses David's request and insults him, and so David and 400 of his men arm themselves and march out to destroy Nabal. Fortunately, for both parties, Abigail, Nabal's wife, is informed of what has happened, and rides out with supplies to make peace with David. She presents the offering to him, and persuades David not to pursue his course of violence. David listens to the voice of reason and bloodshed is avoided.
Men, there are things that make us fighting mad. Some of those things are worth getting upset about, and some of them are worth fighting over, but some of those things are not. Probably a majority of those things. When you're mad about the wrong things, who is the voice of reason? God has placed women in the world for a variety of reasons, and one of them is to serve in this capacity. There are times my wife tells me things I don't want to hear. She serves at that voice of reason causing me to stop and reassess things.
Let us be men who listen to the voice of reason.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
There was a rich man named Nabal whose shepherds had received protection from David's men. David sends a request to Nabal, seeking supplies, and tells him of how he has taken care of his works. Nabal refuses David's request and insults him, and so David and 400 of his men arm themselves and march out to destroy Nabal. Fortunately, for both parties, Abigail, Nabal's wife, is informed of what has happened, and rides out with supplies to make peace with David. She presents the offering to him, and persuades David not to pursue his course of violence. David listens to the voice of reason and bloodshed is avoided.
Men, there are things that make us fighting mad. Some of those things are worth getting upset about, and some of them are worth fighting over, but some of those things are not. Probably a majority of those things. When you're mad about the wrong things, who is the voice of reason? God has placed women in the world for a variety of reasons, and one of them is to serve in this capacity. There are times my wife tells me things I don't want to hear. She serves at that voice of reason causing me to stop and reassess things.
Let us be men who listen to the voice of reason.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Saturday, May 2, 2015
God's Way
"Now when Saul returned from pursuing the Philistines, he was told, saying, 'Behold, David is in the wilderness of Engedi.' Then Saul took three thousand chosen men from all Israel and went to seek David and his men in front of the Rocks of the Wild Goats. He came to the sheepfolds on the way, where there was a cave; and Saul went in to relieve himself. Now David and his men were sitting in the inner recesses of the cave. The men of David said to him, 'Behold, this is the day of which the Lord said to you, "Behold; I am about to give your enemy into your hand, and you shall do to him as it seems good to you."' Then David arose and cut off the edge of Saul’s robe secretly. It came about afterward that David’s conscience bothered him because he had cut off the edge of Saul’s robe. So he said to his men, 'Far be it from me because of the Lord that I should do this thing to my lord, the Lord’s anointed, to stretch out my hand against him, since he is the Lord’s anointed.' David persuaded his men with these words and did not allow them to rise up against Saul. And Saul arose, left the cave, and went on his way. Now afterward David arose and went out of the cave and called after Saul, saying, 'My lord the king!' And when Saul looked behind him, David bowed with his face to the ground and prostrated himself. David said to Saul, 'Why do you listen to the words of men, saying, "Behold, David seeks to harm you"? Behold, this day your eyes have seen that the Lord had given you today into my hand in the cave, and some said to kill you, but my eye had pity on you; and I said, "I will not stretch out my hand against my lord, for he is the Lord’s anointed." Now, my father, see! Indeed, see the edge of your robe in my hand! For in that I cut off the edge of your robe and did not kill you, know and perceive that there is no evil or rebellion in my hands, and I have not sinned against you, though you are lying in wait for my life to take it. May the Lord judge between you and me, and may the Lord avenge me on you; but my hand shall not be against you.'" -1 Samuel 24.1-12
Saul has been pursuing David, seeking to kill him, because he is a threat to Saul's reign. David has been on the run, fleeing and hiding out, evading Saul, but for the first time, David has the upper hand. David and his men are hiding in a cave at Engedi, and Saul enters the same cave. David's men tell him that God has delivered Saul into his hands. From a human stand point David's troubles are over, but David seeks to do things God's way, and refuses to harm the king. Instead he cuts off the edge of Saul's robe, and after Saul leaves the cave David pursues him, showing him that he has spared his life.
All David had to do was stab Saul in the back, literally, and his days of hiding out in the wilderness would have been over. He could have killed the king, and assumed his God appointed role as king, but David knew that was not God's way, and refused to kill the Lord's anointed. His actions showed Saul, for the moment, that he had no intention of stealing the throne. By doing things God's way, David was not a usurper, but the rightful king.
Men, how do you do things? Do you focus on doing things God's way, enduring the hardships, waiting on His timing? Or do you see an advantage and take it without considering what may follow? When the world tells you to do what is easy, do you hear God telling you to do what is right? There is a proper way to do things, and then there is the easy way. Doing things the easy way may be faster, but it will bring about future consequences that could have been avoided by doing things God's way.
David could have taken Saul's life, but then more people would have been after David for killing the king. Saul's family would have reason to pursue David, and now he is fighting a different battle. David would have had to answer to the nation for his actions, and would have faced God's judgment for killing His anointed leader. However, because David didn't take the easy way, his reign began legitimately and guiltless.
Let us be men who refuse to take the easy way. Let us be men who endure the hardships and pursue God's way.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Pictures from Engedi.
Saul has been pursuing David, seeking to kill him, because he is a threat to Saul's reign. David has been on the run, fleeing and hiding out, evading Saul, but for the first time, David has the upper hand. David and his men are hiding in a cave at Engedi, and Saul enters the same cave. David's men tell him that God has delivered Saul into his hands. From a human stand point David's troubles are over, but David seeks to do things God's way, and refuses to harm the king. Instead he cuts off the edge of Saul's robe, and after Saul leaves the cave David pursues him, showing him that he has spared his life.
All David had to do was stab Saul in the back, literally, and his days of hiding out in the wilderness would have been over. He could have killed the king, and assumed his God appointed role as king, but David knew that was not God's way, and refused to kill the Lord's anointed. His actions showed Saul, for the moment, that he had no intention of stealing the throne. By doing things God's way, David was not a usurper, but the rightful king.
Men, how do you do things? Do you focus on doing things God's way, enduring the hardships, waiting on His timing? Or do you see an advantage and take it without considering what may follow? When the world tells you to do what is easy, do you hear God telling you to do what is right? There is a proper way to do things, and then there is the easy way. Doing things the easy way may be faster, but it will bring about future consequences that could have been avoided by doing things God's way.
David could have taken Saul's life, but then more people would have been after David for killing the king. Saul's family would have reason to pursue David, and now he is fighting a different battle. David would have had to answer to the nation for his actions, and would have faced God's judgment for killing His anointed leader. However, because David didn't take the easy way, his reign began legitimately and guiltless.
Let us be men who refuse to take the easy way. Let us be men who endure the hardships and pursue God's way.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Pictures from Engedi.
Friday, May 1, 2015
Acting Like a King
"Then they told David, saying, 'Behold, the Philistines are fighting against Keilah and are plundering the threshing floors.' So David inquired of the Lord, saying, 'Shall I go and attack these Philistines?' And the Lord said to David, 'Go and attack the Philistines and deliver Keilah.' But David’s men said to him, 'Behold, we are afraid here in Judah. How much more then if we go to Keilah against the ranks of the Philistines?' Then David inquired of the Lord once more. And the Lord answered him and said, 'Arise, go down to Keilah, for I will give the Philistines into your hand.' So David and his men went to Keilah and fought with the Philistines; and he led away their livestock and struck them with a great slaughter. Thus David delivered the inhabitants of Keilah." -1 Samuel 23.1-5
David hears that some of his people are in trouble, and he is moved to action. He seeks God's leading, and once he is given the go ahead from God, he and his men move in and attack the Philistines, saving the people of Keilah. David is not the reigning king, but he is the anointed king. While the current king is obsessed with eliminating his rival, David is focused on saving his people. David may not wear the crown, but he is acting like a king.
David knows that Saul is after him, and yet he also knows that his people are under attack. He seeks God, and knowing that God will watch over him and protect him, and then moves in to save his people. Saul should have done this. Saul should have assembled the army and ridden out into battle against the Philistines who are plundering in his country. Saul has lost focus on his role as king. He is obsessed with keeping power that he is failing to use it as he should. He is not acting like a king.
Men, each of us are called to be kings. A key responsibility of a king is to protect those he leads, making them safe so that their lives can be better. We have the responsibility to protect our families. We have the responsibility to take care of our employees. We have the responsibility to guard those in our churches. That is the responsibility that comes with a kingdom.
While David did not wear the crown, he was the anointed king. Rather than hiding out, seeking to protect his own life, David does what a king should do and moves to defend his people.
Let us be men who act like kings. Let us use our strength not to preserve our own lives and to protect our rule, but rather let us spend our strength in the service of those we lead. Let us act like kings.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
David hears that some of his people are in trouble, and he is moved to action. He seeks God's leading, and once he is given the go ahead from God, he and his men move in and attack the Philistines, saving the people of Keilah. David is not the reigning king, but he is the anointed king. While the current king is obsessed with eliminating his rival, David is focused on saving his people. David may not wear the crown, but he is acting like a king.
David knows that Saul is after him, and yet he also knows that his people are under attack. He seeks God, and knowing that God will watch over him and protect him, and then moves in to save his people. Saul should have done this. Saul should have assembled the army and ridden out into battle against the Philistines who are plundering in his country. Saul has lost focus on his role as king. He is obsessed with keeping power that he is failing to use it as he should. He is not acting like a king.
Men, each of us are called to be kings. A key responsibility of a king is to protect those he leads, making them safe so that their lives can be better. We have the responsibility to protect our families. We have the responsibility to take care of our employees. We have the responsibility to guard those in our churches. That is the responsibility that comes with a kingdom.
While David did not wear the crown, he was the anointed king. Rather than hiding out, seeking to protect his own life, David does what a king should do and moves to defend his people.
Let us be men who act like kings. Let us use our strength not to preserve our own lives and to protect our rule, but rather let us spend our strength in the service of those we lead. Let us act like kings.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)