As with any stage of the masculine journey, we must face the reality of wounds. Even warriors, a symbol of strength and power, courage and resilience, are not immune to wounds.
"The heart of the Warrior is wounded in a boy and in a young man when he is told that aggression is flat-out wrong, unchristian, that niceness equals godliness. He is wounded when his attempts to rise up as a Warrior are mocked, or crushed. He is wounded when he has no one to train him, no king to give his allegiance to and no cause to fight for... The heart of the Warrior is wounded in a young man when he attempts to be a Warrior and is shamed."
How many of us have been taken out by one of these wounds? I've felt my attempts be crushed and felt as if I've had no king or cause. It's disheartening to feel completely alone, and it's the thing that has made me feel like giving up more than anything. And it doesn't help when the people you thought cared offer criticism that kicks you while you're down instead of a hand to help you up. When failure is met with no encouragement what is a young warrior to think of himself?
I shared in a recent post my experience of ministry over the past few years. I'm not going to go over it all again, but that experience was extremely wounding. For the past year I've wondered a lot if I'm ever going to get another chance. I've wondered if any king will be willing to give a wounded warrior another chance to fight. It has been difficult to keep going and keep hoping. But in this time I have seen how a king should react, and I have learned what I'm looking for if the chance ever comes. I'm praying it does.
Some of you are in similar positions. You've tried and been knocked down. You feel alone and like a failure, and you're wondering if it's just time to give up and get ready to endure life. Don't give up. I'm not, though I really want to some days. We are warriors, and warriors don't surrender. Keep fighting with me. I have an email address specifically for this blog; you can find it on the left side of the bottom of this page. I've shared bits of my struggles on here, and if I can pray for you or help you please let me know. We are in this together. We have to have each other’s backs and fight side by side.
"Never winning at anything, getting bullied, pushed around, and outright beat up has crushed many a young Warrior's heart, sent him into passivity. 'I’ll never try that again.'... though we don't win every fight there are still things worth fighting for."
A couple years ago I had the chance to help out with the local high schools wrestling team. I remember one day a couple of the bigger buys weren't at practice and so the heavy weight (in high school I think the weight class is 221-285 pounds) had to work out with a kid who weighed somewhere in the 160-170 pound range. Yeah there is a pretty significant weight difference, but if the lighter guy is experienced it might not be that big an issue. Sadly this kid had only been wrestling for a couple of months. I sat on the wall watching him get pushed around and belittled by the heavier guy, and after the drill was over he went and sat on the wall with his head between his knees.
I went over to him, sat next to him, and put my arm around his shoulder. I don't remember exactly what I said to him, but it was something to the effect of, "He put a beating on you, and you kept going back for more and taking it. Great job." He ended up getting a take down on me towards the end of the season, and it was awesome. We have to make sure we take advantage of the opportunities like that. We have to do everything we can to heal wounds the moment they start. We can't prevent all wounds, but if we pay attention we can bring quick healing to some. Sadly there are wounds we'll never know about. Some guys hide there’s out of a sense of shame, or even loyalty, that's what mine were.
"The wound is doubled when the beating comes from his own father, or perhaps an older brother. For that matter, the Warrior is wounded when a boy has to become a fighter too soon, as is the case when his father tells him, 'Don't be such a crybaby' and sends him back out to face a pack of boys who are bullying him, or when he lives in a volatile home where the shouting and anger make it clear that it's every man for himself. Or when he doesn't get to win at anything. My sons love to wrestle, but they would soon lose heart if every time I flipped them over and pinned them. On the other hand, if the father is passive, how will the young man learn to be a Warrior? Nothing rouses anger, frustration, and mounting disrespect in the heart of a boy as does his father's passivity."
If you want your son to be a warrior, he has to see it in you. John mentions The Patriot, and how the father's passivity leads to his sons disrespect and one of their deaths. On the other hand there is a scene early in 300 where we see Leonidas training his son. The Spartans were tough, and their sons were taught to be warriors very early in life. In the scene we the father training his son, but it isn't a harsh and disheartening thing. He gives resistance, but allows the boy to learn and work moves. He doesn't just roll over and give up, but he doesn't push him around and knock him down. If a boy is to be a warrior he must see his father, or another man who steps in to fill in the gap, as one, and be trained to be one as well.
"Finally, the heart of the Warrior is wounded, or abandoned, or sometimes let loose in very bad ways, when the young man does not have a King and a cause to serve." This is the reality for many, many, boys and men today. Because we've lost the initiation ritual there are so few men to guide and train boys. They have strength that is never channeled, the they wander trying to prove themselves in a futile search for meaning. A man needs a mission, a young man needs a leader to follow. Without these two things there is a deep wound that is given.
A king can step in and bring healing to other wounds. He can offer encouragement, and he can channel the strength and passion of a warrior so it can benefit a greater cause. A warrior needs a king. If your father was, or is, absent and there is no other man for you to look to there is still hope. "God is the Master in every stage. He is the Father when we are the Beloved Sons, a he is our King when we are Warriors... Jesus no longer had Joseph around when he entered his Warrior stage. On a human level, he was fatherless. But we know he was no alone. We, too, have a Father who is a great Warrior, and he will raise us as Warriors, if we'll let him, if we will embrace the initiation that comes with this stage. There is a Warrior in you, by the way. However it has been handled up to this point in your life, it can be restored, recovered, and made strong. The promise of Scripture is that the Father is raising us to be sons just like Jesus, meaning, you shall be as valiant as he was."
God has not forgotten or abandoned you. You are not alone. He created you to be a might warrior for Him, and if you will allow Him, He will mold you into it. We are called to be like Christ, and just as the Father initiated Jesus, He desires to initiate us. We need to have the same willingness, the same submission, and the same dependence that we see in Jesus. God will initiate us, be our leader, and give us the greatest cause if we will allow Him.
"Father, show me where I have lost heart as a Warrior. What did I miss here? What was wounded, and what was surrendered? Take me back to those times and places when the Warrior in me was shut down. Awaken and restore the Warrior heart in me. Train me. Show me what I have surrendered, where I am waling in passivity. Teach me an unyielding heart. Rouse me. I am willing. I am yours."
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Friday, October 11, 2013
Thursday, October 10, 2013
The Way of the Wild Heart, Chapter 8: Warrior, part 3
"The warrior is hardwired into every man. This is true because he is made in the image of God, who is the Great Warrior. Like Father, like son. It is true because it constitutes a great part of man's mission here on earth - to join the Great Warrior in his battle against evil. It is this aggressive nature that will enable us to overcome the passivity and paralysis we inherited from Adam. In fact, we are siding with one or the other - the Warrior or the paralyzed man - in every decision we make, every day. Encouraging the Warrior as it begins to come into full force in a young man's life will be a great help to him as the years unfold, for you and I know how hard the battle is if we've spent years in passivity."
If you've spent any time around boys you'll see the warrior in them. No matter what they are doing or playing with, something will become some sort of weapon. Gun, sword, etc. It doesn't matter what it is, it just happens. I still find myself doing this at times. It happens, and it's supposed to. A man is a warrior, don't try to stop it. I remember when I was a child my cousins and I didn't have access to toy guns at one point. They had some toy tools, and so we pretended that the drills were handguns. My aunt yelled at us and told us to stop.
You have the parents who won't allow their children to play with toy weapons because they don't want them to grow up and be violent. Saying no does a lot of harm and it denies a boy the chance to do what he was created to do. Instead, a boy must be taught how to use a weapon properly. He needs to learn that they are dangerous and that they can take life. When I teach my boys to shoot in the future the first lesson they will learn is, "Never point this at something you don't want to kill, and as soon as you squeeze the trigger you are no longer in control of that bullet."
It is crucial that we encourage and train boys to be warriors. He was made for this purpose, and without the encouragement and training he will either be passive or violent. We can train boys and help them find their place in the epic story, or fail them and let them wander unsure through life and wind up like the scribe in Gladiator. Do you want your son to be the scribe or Maximus? Who do you want to be?
"The heart of the Warrior says, 'I will not let evil have its way. There are some things that cannot be endured. I've got to do something. There is freedom to be had.' The heart of the Warrior says, 'I will put myself on the line for you.' That is why it must come before the Lover stage, for he will need to do that time and time again in his marriage, and it is passivity that has broken the heart of many women. The Warrior nature is fierce, and brave, ready to confront evil, ready to go into battle. This is the time for a young mane to stop saying, 'Why is life so hard?' He takes the hardness as the call to fight, to rise up, take it on. He learns to 'set his face like a fling.' as Jesus had to do to fulfill his life's great mission."
A young man must be taught to stand up to evil, and in order for him to have the courage to do so, he must be trained and prepared for the hardships. He must have a warrior’s heart. And standing up to evil isn't an easy task. If he does, it's going to be difficult and full of hardships. That's why he must be a warrior. "How much hardship a man will endure, how long and tenaciously he will persevere is determined by the amount of Warrior within him."
Two things come to my mind from the Rocky movies when I read that. One comes from Rocky IV, as the plane lands in Russia there is a song playing, and the second verse contains these words:
In the warriors code there's no surrender
Though his body says stop his spirit cries - never!
Deep in our soul a quiet ember knows it's you against you
It's the paradox that drives us on
It's a battle of wills
In the heat of attack it's the passion that kills
The victory is yours alone
It's one of those songs I love to run/work out to. That mentality of I can, and will, push through this. "The time of the Warrior is the time of learning discipline, a concentration of body, mind, and spirit... when all hell breaks loose on the battlefield, a man has to have something to fall back on other than emotion. Spirits are high before you actually meet the enemy, but in the chaos of warfare high spirits can vanish in an instant." A warrior must be self-disciplined if he is going to survive and be victorious. He must never surrender and constantly push himself forward.
The second thing that I think of is from Rocky Balbo. "Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that!"
"The church has largely presented discipline as 'kill your heart and just do the right things.' That is terrible. It wearies the soul, and ends up destroying the heart - the very faculty you will need in the face of great trial and testing. Good discipline harnesses the passions, rather than killing them... A young man will need this strength of heart, whether to finish his PhD, or to hold fast his convictions under persecution, or to master an art form - all of which take great discipline, fueled by passion."
Without his heart and passions, a warrior cannot survive. Proverbs 18.14 says, "The spirit of a man can endure his sickness, but as for a broken spirit who can bear it?" Proverbs 17.22 tells us, "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones." Nothing will suck the life out of you faster than having no passion, no goal, no drive. There are days that the only thing that keeps me going is my hope for the future, my belief, however faint it may be, that things will get better. The warrior must be determined, and never surrender his heart of his passion.
One final thought from Rocky. In Rocky III we hear the song "Eye of the Tiger", another one that's a personal preference for physical activity. We find these words in the verses:
Rising up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive
So many times it happens too fast
You change your passion for glory
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive
...
Face to face, out in the heat
Hanging tough, staying hungry
They stack the odds 'til we take to the street
For the kill with the skill to survive
...
Rising up, straight to the top
Had the guts, got the glory
Went the distance, now I'm not going to stop
Just a man and his will to survive
"This is absolutely essential to the Warrior, to develop an unyielding heart. This is where we will be most profoundly tested... I will not yield, I will not be a quitter - that is the Warrior coming out... The Warrior must learn to yield his heart to nothing. Not to kill his heart for fear of falling into temptation, but to protect his heart for more noble things, to keep the integrity of his heart as a great reservoir of passionate strength and holy desire."
I didn't realize that this was going to be so long when I started writing today, and as I've written my heart has been stirring. Yes, life is insanely hard right now, and nothing is ideal. As soon as things seem to be falling into place, something comes along to knock us back down. I've been ready to give up so many times, but I haven't, a big part of it is because of the responsibility I have to my wife. I'm in the middle of a battle right now. The world has knocked me to my knees and is trying to do everything it can to keep me there. Honestly, I'm tired of trying to get back up. Part of me wants to just curl up and take the hits until it’s over, but that's not what a warrior does. And eventually, I'll get up and the tables will turn.
"By the way - there is a place for comfort in the masculine journey, a place for mercy and rest and being ministered to. It's not all trial and test and battle, not by any means. It's just that most often, good comfort comes after the fight, and is so much more enjoyable in this way. One of the spoils of war."
The battle will end, but not without a fight. We are warriors, and warriors endure to victory.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
If you've spent any time around boys you'll see the warrior in them. No matter what they are doing or playing with, something will become some sort of weapon. Gun, sword, etc. It doesn't matter what it is, it just happens. I still find myself doing this at times. It happens, and it's supposed to. A man is a warrior, don't try to stop it. I remember when I was a child my cousins and I didn't have access to toy guns at one point. They had some toy tools, and so we pretended that the drills were handguns. My aunt yelled at us and told us to stop.
You have the parents who won't allow their children to play with toy weapons because they don't want them to grow up and be violent. Saying no does a lot of harm and it denies a boy the chance to do what he was created to do. Instead, a boy must be taught how to use a weapon properly. He needs to learn that they are dangerous and that they can take life. When I teach my boys to shoot in the future the first lesson they will learn is, "Never point this at something you don't want to kill, and as soon as you squeeze the trigger you are no longer in control of that bullet."
It is crucial that we encourage and train boys to be warriors. He was made for this purpose, and without the encouragement and training he will either be passive or violent. We can train boys and help them find their place in the epic story, or fail them and let them wander unsure through life and wind up like the scribe in Gladiator. Do you want your son to be the scribe or Maximus? Who do you want to be?
"The heart of the Warrior says, 'I will not let evil have its way. There are some things that cannot be endured. I've got to do something. There is freedom to be had.' The heart of the Warrior says, 'I will put myself on the line for you.' That is why it must come before the Lover stage, for he will need to do that time and time again in his marriage, and it is passivity that has broken the heart of many women. The Warrior nature is fierce, and brave, ready to confront evil, ready to go into battle. This is the time for a young mane to stop saying, 'Why is life so hard?' He takes the hardness as the call to fight, to rise up, take it on. He learns to 'set his face like a fling.' as Jesus had to do to fulfill his life's great mission."
A young man must be taught to stand up to evil, and in order for him to have the courage to do so, he must be trained and prepared for the hardships. He must have a warrior’s heart. And standing up to evil isn't an easy task. If he does, it's going to be difficult and full of hardships. That's why he must be a warrior. "How much hardship a man will endure, how long and tenaciously he will persevere is determined by the amount of Warrior within him."
Two things come to my mind from the Rocky movies when I read that. One comes from Rocky IV, as the plane lands in Russia there is a song playing, and the second verse contains these words:
In the warriors code there's no surrender
Though his body says stop his spirit cries - never!
Deep in our soul a quiet ember knows it's you against you
It's the paradox that drives us on
It's a battle of wills
In the heat of attack it's the passion that kills
The victory is yours alone
It's one of those songs I love to run/work out to. That mentality of I can, and will, push through this. "The time of the Warrior is the time of learning discipline, a concentration of body, mind, and spirit... when all hell breaks loose on the battlefield, a man has to have something to fall back on other than emotion. Spirits are high before you actually meet the enemy, but in the chaos of warfare high spirits can vanish in an instant." A warrior must be self-disciplined if he is going to survive and be victorious. He must never surrender and constantly push himself forward.
The second thing that I think of is from Rocky Balbo. "Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that!"
"The church has largely presented discipline as 'kill your heart and just do the right things.' That is terrible. It wearies the soul, and ends up destroying the heart - the very faculty you will need in the face of great trial and testing. Good discipline harnesses the passions, rather than killing them... A young man will need this strength of heart, whether to finish his PhD, or to hold fast his convictions under persecution, or to master an art form - all of which take great discipline, fueled by passion."
Without his heart and passions, a warrior cannot survive. Proverbs 18.14 says, "The spirit of a man can endure his sickness, but as for a broken spirit who can bear it?" Proverbs 17.22 tells us, "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones." Nothing will suck the life out of you faster than having no passion, no goal, no drive. There are days that the only thing that keeps me going is my hope for the future, my belief, however faint it may be, that things will get better. The warrior must be determined, and never surrender his heart of his passion.
One final thought from Rocky. In Rocky III we hear the song "Eye of the Tiger", another one that's a personal preference for physical activity. We find these words in the verses:
Rising up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive
So many times it happens too fast
You change your passion for glory
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive
...
Face to face, out in the heat
Hanging tough, staying hungry
They stack the odds 'til we take to the street
For the kill with the skill to survive
...
Rising up, straight to the top
Had the guts, got the glory
Went the distance, now I'm not going to stop
Just a man and his will to survive
"This is absolutely essential to the Warrior, to develop an unyielding heart. This is where we will be most profoundly tested... I will not yield, I will not be a quitter - that is the Warrior coming out... The Warrior must learn to yield his heart to nothing. Not to kill his heart for fear of falling into temptation, but to protect his heart for more noble things, to keep the integrity of his heart as a great reservoir of passionate strength and holy desire."
I didn't realize that this was going to be so long when I started writing today, and as I've written my heart has been stirring. Yes, life is insanely hard right now, and nothing is ideal. As soon as things seem to be falling into place, something comes along to knock us back down. I've been ready to give up so many times, but I haven't, a big part of it is because of the responsibility I have to my wife. I'm in the middle of a battle right now. The world has knocked me to my knees and is trying to do everything it can to keep me there. Honestly, I'm tired of trying to get back up. Part of me wants to just curl up and take the hits until it’s over, but that's not what a warrior does. And eventually, I'll get up and the tables will turn.
"By the way - there is a place for comfort in the masculine journey, a place for mercy and rest and being ministered to. It's not all trial and test and battle, not by any means. It's just that most often, good comfort comes after the fight, and is so much more enjoyable in this way. One of the spoils of war."
The battle will end, but not without a fight. We are warriors, and warriors endure to victory.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
The Way of the Wild Heart, Chapter 8: Warrior, part 2
Man was made to be a warrior. Sadly, for thousands of years, many have refused. John mentions Israel's refusal to take the Promised Land after the spies bring back the report of giants and walled cities. They have seen God work wonders as He brought them out of Egypt, led them through the Red Sea, and then provided for them in the desert, but when the time comes to grab hold of His promise, they shrink from the call, and refuse to play their part.
"Their decision not to fight is what led to their wandering in the wilderness for forty years. We often cite that part of the story, talking about our own wilderness experiences, embracing the wilderness saga as if it were inevitable. No, that is not the lesson at all. We have forgotten it was avoidable. The reason they took the lamentable detour into the wilderness was because they would not fight. To be more precise, the wilderness was a punishment, the consequence of refusing to trust God, and fight."
Writing that makes me wonder about my current circumstances. Am I where I am because I've failed to fight for something? Am I stuck here because there is a battle I'm refusing to fight? Am I failing, or refusing, to be the warrior?
The reaction of Israel is one that we can see time and time again. Yes, war is a terrible thing, but hating it and saying we shouldn't get involved in one doesn't change the reality that it is out there. And yet that is what we try to do time and again. "What is it in human nature that just won't face the reality of war?" I remember a message a friend of mine gave a little over a year ago from Luke 14. He ended with verses 31 and 32, "Or what king, when he sets out to meet another king in battle, will not first sit down and consider whether he is strong enough with ten thousand men to encounter the one coming against him with twenty thousand? Or else, while the other is still far away, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace." After the service we talked and I pointed out that the king has only two options, fight or negotiate for peace, because the war is coming to him. And by the way, there is no shame in negotiating for peace, it takes the strength of a warrior to be able to do that as well.
"We live in a world at war. We are supposed to fight back. It is apparently a difficult reality to embrace, as witnessed by the passivity that marks much of modern Christianity. We just want the Christian life to be all about the sweet love of Jesus. But that is not what's going on here. You may not like the situation, but that only makes it unattractive - it does not make it untrue."
We live in a world at war, and when we do fail it is due to passivity. Since the beginning that has been the case, and it is passivity that got us into this whole mess to begin with. Eve was deceived by the serpent, and then as we see in Genesis 3.6, "When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate." Adam was right there watching, and he failed to play the warrior.
"Adam doesn’t engage, doesn't intervene, doesn't do a damn thing. He is created to act, endowed with the image of a mighty God who acts and intervenes dramatically. Adam did not, and whatever else got passed on to us men from the first man, we know that paralysis - another word for passivity - is certainly one of them... It is essential that a man overcome this inherent passivity, this paralysis we got from Adam that lies deep in our bones. To be a man we must, with the help of God, overcome it intentionally, repeatedly, on front after front across the season of our lives."
There is part of us that wants to take the easy way, that wants to run and hide. But that's also the part that makes us sick to our stomachs. It’s because deep down we know we were made to stand and fight. We know deep down that if something good is going to be protected we're the ones who have to fight for it. We know deep down that if evil wants to advance it has to do it over our dead bodies.
"The assumption is that whatever else a man might be, he ought to be a fighter. I noticed this assumption in the rosters of the tribes of Israel as they came out of Egypt. The families and clans are arranged and numbered as fighting men (Num. 1). And remember - these are not trained soldiers, but runaway slaves. I doubt any of them had held a weapon in his life, yet it is assumed that if he's a man, he's a fighting man. Given who and what he is, Scripture assumes that a man acts, a man intervenes. Passivity has no place in the lexicon of true masculinity. None. And to overcome passivity, God has set his warrior heart in every man."
In my book next to that paragraph I have a verse reference written, 1 Corinthians 16.13-14. "Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love." You might have seen it in the quotes section to the left. We are to act like men and be strong. We are to stand firm and alert, never letting evil advance. That is the role a man is created for. And there is the reminder that everything we do is to be done in love. Jesus said that the greatest love anyone can show is to lay down his life for his friends (John 15.13). It takes a warrior to do that. Every man dies, but not every man lays his life down.
God created us to be warriors who act, and He has given us His warrior heart. "Your heart is free. Have the courage to follow it." You were made to be a warrior. "Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong."
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
"Their decision not to fight is what led to their wandering in the wilderness for forty years. We often cite that part of the story, talking about our own wilderness experiences, embracing the wilderness saga as if it were inevitable. No, that is not the lesson at all. We have forgotten it was avoidable. The reason they took the lamentable detour into the wilderness was because they would not fight. To be more precise, the wilderness was a punishment, the consequence of refusing to trust God, and fight."
Writing that makes me wonder about my current circumstances. Am I where I am because I've failed to fight for something? Am I stuck here because there is a battle I'm refusing to fight? Am I failing, or refusing, to be the warrior?
The reaction of Israel is one that we can see time and time again. Yes, war is a terrible thing, but hating it and saying we shouldn't get involved in one doesn't change the reality that it is out there. And yet that is what we try to do time and again. "What is it in human nature that just won't face the reality of war?" I remember a message a friend of mine gave a little over a year ago from Luke 14. He ended with verses 31 and 32, "Or what king, when he sets out to meet another king in battle, will not first sit down and consider whether he is strong enough with ten thousand men to encounter the one coming against him with twenty thousand? Or else, while the other is still far away, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace." After the service we talked and I pointed out that the king has only two options, fight or negotiate for peace, because the war is coming to him. And by the way, there is no shame in negotiating for peace, it takes the strength of a warrior to be able to do that as well.
"We live in a world at war. We are supposed to fight back. It is apparently a difficult reality to embrace, as witnessed by the passivity that marks much of modern Christianity. We just want the Christian life to be all about the sweet love of Jesus. But that is not what's going on here. You may not like the situation, but that only makes it unattractive - it does not make it untrue."
We live in a world at war, and when we do fail it is due to passivity. Since the beginning that has been the case, and it is passivity that got us into this whole mess to begin with. Eve was deceived by the serpent, and then as we see in Genesis 3.6, "When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate." Adam was right there watching, and he failed to play the warrior.
"Adam doesn’t engage, doesn't intervene, doesn't do a damn thing. He is created to act, endowed with the image of a mighty God who acts and intervenes dramatically. Adam did not, and whatever else got passed on to us men from the first man, we know that paralysis - another word for passivity - is certainly one of them... It is essential that a man overcome this inherent passivity, this paralysis we got from Adam that lies deep in our bones. To be a man we must, with the help of God, overcome it intentionally, repeatedly, on front after front across the season of our lives."
There is part of us that wants to take the easy way, that wants to run and hide. But that's also the part that makes us sick to our stomachs. It’s because deep down we know we were made to stand and fight. We know deep down that if something good is going to be protected we're the ones who have to fight for it. We know deep down that if evil wants to advance it has to do it over our dead bodies.
"The assumption is that whatever else a man might be, he ought to be a fighter. I noticed this assumption in the rosters of the tribes of Israel as they came out of Egypt. The families and clans are arranged and numbered as fighting men (Num. 1). And remember - these are not trained soldiers, but runaway slaves. I doubt any of them had held a weapon in his life, yet it is assumed that if he's a man, he's a fighting man. Given who and what he is, Scripture assumes that a man acts, a man intervenes. Passivity has no place in the lexicon of true masculinity. None. And to overcome passivity, God has set his warrior heart in every man."
In my book next to that paragraph I have a verse reference written, 1 Corinthians 16.13-14. "Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love." You might have seen it in the quotes section to the left. We are to act like men and be strong. We are to stand firm and alert, never letting evil advance. That is the role a man is created for. And there is the reminder that everything we do is to be done in love. Jesus said that the greatest love anyone can show is to lay down his life for his friends (John 15.13). It takes a warrior to do that. Every man dies, but not every man lays his life down.
God created us to be warriors who act, and He has given us His warrior heart. "Your heart is free. Have the courage to follow it." You were made to be a warrior. "Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong."
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Monday, October 7, 2013
The Way of the Wild Heart, Chapter 8: Warrior, part 1
"It may take time, and require repeated provocation, but eventually a man must come to realize that there are certain things in life worth fighting for. Perhaps, when we appreciate the truth of this, we can better understand the heart of God... Our God is a warrior, mighty and terrible in battle, and he leads armies. It is this God that man is made in the image of. I spoke of this in Wild at Heart, but some things bear repeating, because a man will be in a much better place to enter the stage of the Warrior if he knows this is thoroughly grounded in Scripture, supported by Scripture, compelled by Scripture."
For some reason the Church usually refuses to acknowledge this reality. War and fighting are seen as evil, and while I'll admit the fact that war is a terrible thing, we can't escape the reality that it exists in the world we live in. And because of that we must embrace the truth of Exodus 15.3, "The LORD is a warrior; the LORD is his name."
God stands for truth and justice; He fights for righteousness and holiness. He doesn't back down from a fight, instead He leads His people into battle. "Our God is a Warrior because there are certain things in life worth fighting for, must be fought for. He makes man a Warrior in his own image, because he intends for man to join him in that battle."
Men, we were made for war. We have strength and power so that we can be dangerous on the battlefield. We cannot run from this truth and hide, pretending that it doesn't exist or hoping that it will go away if we ignore it. If we don't take a stand, then we allow evil to trample all that is good.
"There are certain things worth fighting for. A marriage, for example, or the institution of marriage as a whole. Children, whether they are yours or not. Friendships will have to be fought for, as you've discovered by now, and churches, too, which seem bent on destroying themselves if they are not first destroyed by the enemy who hates them... Take anything good, true, or beautiful upon this earth and ask yourself, 'Can this be protected without a fight?'... Sometimes the battle has to strike close to home in order to rouse the Warrior in a man. Perhaps that is why God often allows it to strike so close to home."
What makes you angry? What breaks your heart? What are you going to do about it? Will you take a stand or sit down? Evil is a very real thing, and it has already corrupted so much because men have refused to be warriors. "Evil typically doesn't yield its hold willingly. It must be forced to surrender, or be destroyed." It takes a warrior to fight a battle. Only a warrior can emerge victorious.
Think about Gladiator. In the extended edition of the movie during the scene where Maximus is cutting out his Legionnaire tattoo we learn that one of the slaves is a scribe, he talks about how he can speak seven languages. The next day the gladiators are paired up and sent into the arena, guess who one of the first guys killed is? And guess who survives the battle?
Men, we must embrace the fact that we are made in the image of a warrior God, and called to be warriors fighting at His side. If we don't then we'll just helplessly watch all that is good and beautiful be corrupted and destroyed before we ourselves are killed by the same evil.
The battle rages all around us, lets arm ourselves, and join the fight.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
For some reason the Church usually refuses to acknowledge this reality. War and fighting are seen as evil, and while I'll admit the fact that war is a terrible thing, we can't escape the reality that it exists in the world we live in. And because of that we must embrace the truth of Exodus 15.3, "The LORD is a warrior; the LORD is his name."
God stands for truth and justice; He fights for righteousness and holiness. He doesn't back down from a fight, instead He leads His people into battle. "Our God is a Warrior because there are certain things in life worth fighting for, must be fought for. He makes man a Warrior in his own image, because he intends for man to join him in that battle."
Men, we were made for war. We have strength and power so that we can be dangerous on the battlefield. We cannot run from this truth and hide, pretending that it doesn't exist or hoping that it will go away if we ignore it. If we don't take a stand, then we allow evil to trample all that is good.
"There are certain things worth fighting for. A marriage, for example, or the institution of marriage as a whole. Children, whether they are yours or not. Friendships will have to be fought for, as you've discovered by now, and churches, too, which seem bent on destroying themselves if they are not first destroyed by the enemy who hates them... Take anything good, true, or beautiful upon this earth and ask yourself, 'Can this be protected without a fight?'... Sometimes the battle has to strike close to home in order to rouse the Warrior in a man. Perhaps that is why God often allows it to strike so close to home."
What makes you angry? What breaks your heart? What are you going to do about it? Will you take a stand or sit down? Evil is a very real thing, and it has already corrupted so much because men have refused to be warriors. "Evil typically doesn't yield its hold willingly. It must be forced to surrender, or be destroyed." It takes a warrior to fight a battle. Only a warrior can emerge victorious.
Think about Gladiator. In the extended edition of the movie during the scene where Maximus is cutting out his Legionnaire tattoo we learn that one of the slaves is a scribe, he talks about how he can speak seven languages. The next day the gladiators are paired up and sent into the arena, guess who one of the first guys killed is? And guess who survives the battle?
Men, we must embrace the fact that we are made in the image of a warrior God, and called to be warriors fighting at His side. If we don't then we'll just helplessly watch all that is good and beautiful be corrupted and destroyed before we ourselves are killed by the same evil.
The battle rages all around us, lets arm ourselves, and join the fight.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Thursday, September 26, 2013
The Way of the Wild Heart, Chapter 7: Sam's Year, part 3
The year of initiation culminates in a birthday ceremony marking the passage from boyhood to young man. Ceremony is important; it's a clear beginning and a moment in time that can be looked back on with confidence. The ceremony that John talks about involved three stages.
First it began with a presentation of his son's life made up of pictures from birth to the present. It shows how the boy has grown and changed. Second, the boy shares the story of the Gospel. It's important for a man to know the epic Story of the world, and be able to communicate it. He needs to know how the world was intended to be, how it got messed up, and how redemption came and the role he now plays in the story. Third, there comes the bestowing of words and gifts.
John's wife was the only woman to speak to the boy, and he points out that a mother does play an irreplaceable role in a boy's life, but that this ceremony is marking a passage into the world of men. "The women at this point - especially the mother - are releasing the boy to become a man, releasing him into the fellowship of men. He looks ahead at a company of men, and it is their words and their validation he most needs at this moment." And so men speak to the boy, and not simply encouragement, but affirmation and validation of his manhood.
And it is important to remember that this isn't just another birthday party. This is but a "ceremony followed a year of experiences - tests and trials and achievements. It was something earned, and therefore far more significant... the men who gathered to speak... were the men he had been with during the year, building the corral, going on mission, climbing the Grand. They weren't just offering encouragement... They were men... respected as men, and they were speaking from personal experiences of the young man." This is huge, because it shows that the young man is not on his own, but is not part of a fellowship, an army if you will. He is a valuable member of a force for Good.
"Then came two gifts, again from the men." What they did was present a shotgun, a symbol that the young man is now part of the fellowship because he will join the hunts they go on, but also a reminder that he is dangers and capable of handling a weapon. The second gift is a sword, a symbol of masculine strength. "Because of the power of the symbol, the selection of the sword is important. It has to be real - not a toy. This is not for a boy, but for a young man. It must be sharp, deadly, dangerous - just like true masculinity. It must also be noble, like true masculinity, for part of bestowing the sword at this age is a calling out of the Warrior and the King to come."
I love the idea of the sword, but personally I don't know that I would offer a shotgun. It's not that I'm opposed to guns; I love shooting, and hope at some point to have a piece of ground outside city limits so I'm able to shoot with my sons. But for me it wouldn't capture that meaning. I don't do much hunting anymore, and have never done upland bird hunting. Instead what I want to do as a symbol of joining the fellowship of men is to offer a shield.
If you've read enough of my stuff you'll probably have picked up on the fact that I'm a huge fan of the Spartans. I won't go into detail here, but they were arguably the greatest warriors ever (if you remove gun powder they I'm confident we can remove the arguably). Btu the key to Spartan strength and victory was not in their intense physical training, though it was important, but in the phalanx. They fought side by side, shields overlapping, and formed an impenetrable wall that defended each other. I've found a place where I can buy replica Spartan shields, and that is what I plan to give my sons when they are ready to join the phalanx.
"We must be intentional about a boy's passage into young manhood, and it must be tailored to the boy and his needs. I believe whatever the details; it needs to involve test and trial of a physical, emotional, and spiritual nature. That it needs to be done by the father - if he is available - or another significant man, and that it occurs best in the fellowship of men." But it is crucial to remember that this doesn't all have to be a formal thing. Every step doesn't have to be planned out. Instead we have to present and attentive for all of the informal moments. "When a father and a son spend time together, and when men spend time together - whether it's doing homework or shooting hoops in the street or working on the car or pheasant hunting - something passes between them, deep and unspoken, the truest form of initiation there can be."
Be present, be attentive, and celebrate.
I almost forgot, after the gifts are bestowed the most important aspect takes place. The fellowship gathers around the young man and prayers over him. The young man has seen them pray before, undoubtedly has been prayed for by them before, but this is different. This prayer is for one of their own.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
First it began with a presentation of his son's life made up of pictures from birth to the present. It shows how the boy has grown and changed. Second, the boy shares the story of the Gospel. It's important for a man to know the epic Story of the world, and be able to communicate it. He needs to know how the world was intended to be, how it got messed up, and how redemption came and the role he now plays in the story. Third, there comes the bestowing of words and gifts.
John's wife was the only woman to speak to the boy, and he points out that a mother does play an irreplaceable role in a boy's life, but that this ceremony is marking a passage into the world of men. "The women at this point - especially the mother - are releasing the boy to become a man, releasing him into the fellowship of men. He looks ahead at a company of men, and it is their words and their validation he most needs at this moment." And so men speak to the boy, and not simply encouragement, but affirmation and validation of his manhood.
And it is important to remember that this isn't just another birthday party. This is but a "ceremony followed a year of experiences - tests and trials and achievements. It was something earned, and therefore far more significant... the men who gathered to speak... were the men he had been with during the year, building the corral, going on mission, climbing the Grand. They weren't just offering encouragement... They were men... respected as men, and they were speaking from personal experiences of the young man." This is huge, because it shows that the young man is not on his own, but is not part of a fellowship, an army if you will. He is a valuable member of a force for Good.
"Then came two gifts, again from the men." What they did was present a shotgun, a symbol that the young man is now part of the fellowship because he will join the hunts they go on, but also a reminder that he is dangers and capable of handling a weapon. The second gift is a sword, a symbol of masculine strength. "Because of the power of the symbol, the selection of the sword is important. It has to be real - not a toy. This is not for a boy, but for a young man. It must be sharp, deadly, dangerous - just like true masculinity. It must also be noble, like true masculinity, for part of bestowing the sword at this age is a calling out of the Warrior and the King to come."
I love the idea of the sword, but personally I don't know that I would offer a shotgun. It's not that I'm opposed to guns; I love shooting, and hope at some point to have a piece of ground outside city limits so I'm able to shoot with my sons. But for me it wouldn't capture that meaning. I don't do much hunting anymore, and have never done upland bird hunting. Instead what I want to do as a symbol of joining the fellowship of men is to offer a shield.
If you've read enough of my stuff you'll probably have picked up on the fact that I'm a huge fan of the Spartans. I won't go into detail here, but they were arguably the greatest warriors ever (if you remove gun powder they I'm confident we can remove the arguably). Btu the key to Spartan strength and victory was not in their intense physical training, though it was important, but in the phalanx. They fought side by side, shields overlapping, and formed an impenetrable wall that defended each other. I've found a place where I can buy replica Spartan shields, and that is what I plan to give my sons when they are ready to join the phalanx.
"We must be intentional about a boy's passage into young manhood, and it must be tailored to the boy and his needs. I believe whatever the details; it needs to involve test and trial of a physical, emotional, and spiritual nature. That it needs to be done by the father - if he is available - or another significant man, and that it occurs best in the fellowship of men." But it is crucial to remember that this doesn't all have to be a formal thing. Every step doesn't have to be planned out. Instead we have to present and attentive for all of the informal moments. "When a father and a son spend time together, and when men spend time together - whether it's doing homework or shooting hoops in the street or working on the car or pheasant hunting - something passes between them, deep and unspoken, the truest form of initiation there can be."
Be present, be attentive, and celebrate.
I almost forgot, after the gifts are bestowed the most important aspect takes place. The fellowship gathers around the young man and prayers over him. The young man has seen them pray before, undoubtedly has been prayed for by them before, but this is different. This prayer is for one of their own.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
The Way of the Wild Heart, Chapter 7: Sam's Year, part 2
"A man's need for validation is one of his most desperate longings. Until we have that validation, we live with an uncertainty down deep inside. As men, we need to know who we truly are, and what we are destined to become."
Validation is the point of this year of initiation. It is a father, and hopefully other men, pouring into the life of a boy as he begins the real transition from boyhood into being a young man. And the year needs to begin with a reminder that the boy has hopefully heard all of his life, the affirmation that he is the Beloved Son. "Your delight in him. But of course, that is Lesson Number One. You are the son of my right hand, my delight, my Beloved Son, in whom I am so well pleased. That is the building block for everything else."
This year of intentional initiation must begin with the father's affirmation. Without this reminder the trials and tests that are about to be faced can seem cruel, or feel like abandonment. But with the reminding of the father's love and delight, comes the knowledge that this is for the best, that this is what needs to happen, and that this is really one of the deepest acts of love that a father can give his son.
The year begins with continued affirmation, and then needs to include a variety of things. It needs to include going on mission. A boy becoming a young man needs to be called to the front lines of Kingdom work. He needs to see how his father lives for God and advances the Kingdom, knowing that Christianity isn't just Sunday morning rituals, but the epic story we are born into.
"The important thing here was to see us on mission - watch how we operated with God and one another, listen to how we prayed to shut down the spiritual warfare, how we walked in humility in order to deliver the gospel... To see that we do live in something epic, and that Christianity is more than just Sunday school videos and Awanas. It's dangerous, it's costly, it's beautiful." And he needs to be invited to join the fight, not simply observe it. He needs to be involved in prayer, and the work that is going on, realizing that he has a vital role to play in Kingdom building.
It's important that he also learns to work, and receives validation in his work. "Leather work gloves, heavy timber, power tools, and a gathering of men - this is a good place for a young man to be." And it is important that in this gathering where men meet to accomplish a task that he is also treated like a man. He needs to be given responsibility and share equally in the work. The message that comes here is, "You have what it takes." You have strength and you can use it.
We cannot overlook the spiritual lessons that must be taught, because they are crucial to shaping the identity of a man. Lead him through Bible studies that focus on a man's identity in Christ. Help him begin to see the Gospel as the Larger story that envelopes everything. Teach him how to pray, and help him see the importance of prayer and fasting. Have him spend a day alone in the woods, simply listening for the voice of God and communicating with Him. As he does he will learn who God says he is.
Finally, there needs to be adventure. John has his sons climb a mountain. I've thought about cross country bike trips, hiking the Appalachian Trail, things like that, but there needs to be some sort of adventure that tests him, and at the same time teaches and affirms. He'll know he did it, accomplished and overcame something big, and that is something he needs.
Over the past few weeks I've really been thinking about what a year like this would look like, about specific things that could be done to help a young man learn these things. I thought of different lessons that go along with different tasks, and I'm starting to take notes and prepare for when the time comes. This is something a man needs to experience, and I will not let my sons down in this area, and with that I really want to help others, both boys and men, find this as well.
As I've been reading and working with this chapter for the past few days, I've really sensed God leading me to pursue this more. The area of men's ministry, helping men, become, and know that they are, Men of God, is what I think I'm supposed to devote my life to. I'm not sure what exactly this looks like yet, but I think that is really where my true passion lies.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Validation is the point of this year of initiation. It is a father, and hopefully other men, pouring into the life of a boy as he begins the real transition from boyhood into being a young man. And the year needs to begin with a reminder that the boy has hopefully heard all of his life, the affirmation that he is the Beloved Son. "Your delight in him. But of course, that is Lesson Number One. You are the son of my right hand, my delight, my Beloved Son, in whom I am so well pleased. That is the building block for everything else."
This year of intentional initiation must begin with the father's affirmation. Without this reminder the trials and tests that are about to be faced can seem cruel, or feel like abandonment. But with the reminding of the father's love and delight, comes the knowledge that this is for the best, that this is what needs to happen, and that this is really one of the deepest acts of love that a father can give his son.
The year begins with continued affirmation, and then needs to include a variety of things. It needs to include going on mission. A boy becoming a young man needs to be called to the front lines of Kingdom work. He needs to see how his father lives for God and advances the Kingdom, knowing that Christianity isn't just Sunday morning rituals, but the epic story we are born into.
"The important thing here was to see us on mission - watch how we operated with God and one another, listen to how we prayed to shut down the spiritual warfare, how we walked in humility in order to deliver the gospel... To see that we do live in something epic, and that Christianity is more than just Sunday school videos and Awanas. It's dangerous, it's costly, it's beautiful." And he needs to be invited to join the fight, not simply observe it. He needs to be involved in prayer, and the work that is going on, realizing that he has a vital role to play in Kingdom building.
It's important that he also learns to work, and receives validation in his work. "Leather work gloves, heavy timber, power tools, and a gathering of men - this is a good place for a young man to be." And it is important that in this gathering where men meet to accomplish a task that he is also treated like a man. He needs to be given responsibility and share equally in the work. The message that comes here is, "You have what it takes." You have strength and you can use it.
We cannot overlook the spiritual lessons that must be taught, because they are crucial to shaping the identity of a man. Lead him through Bible studies that focus on a man's identity in Christ. Help him begin to see the Gospel as the Larger story that envelopes everything. Teach him how to pray, and help him see the importance of prayer and fasting. Have him spend a day alone in the woods, simply listening for the voice of God and communicating with Him. As he does he will learn who God says he is.
Finally, there needs to be adventure. John has his sons climb a mountain. I've thought about cross country bike trips, hiking the Appalachian Trail, things like that, but there needs to be some sort of adventure that tests him, and at the same time teaches and affirms. He'll know he did it, accomplished and overcame something big, and that is something he needs.
Over the past few weeks I've really been thinking about what a year like this would look like, about specific things that could be done to help a young man learn these things. I thought of different lessons that go along with different tasks, and I'm starting to take notes and prepare for when the time comes. This is something a man needs to experience, and I will not let my sons down in this area, and with that I really want to help others, both boys and men, find this as well.
As I've been reading and working with this chapter for the past few days, I've really sensed God leading me to pursue this more. The area of men's ministry, helping men, become, and know that they are, Men of God, is what I think I'm supposed to devote my life to. I'm not sure what exactly this looks like yet, but I think that is really where my true passion lies.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
The Way of the Wild Heart, Chapter 7: Sam's Year, part 1
If you're reading the reprint, Fathered By God, this is one of the chapters that has been omitted, and I just looked at the table of contents online, and apparently the previous chapter is as well. I'm not sure why, because they contains some great things. Chapter seven records bits of what John did for his oldest son, Sam, over a year marking a transition from boyhood to being a young man. Over the next couple of days I'm going to play with this chapter, highlight the things that John did, throwing in a few of my own ideas, and hopefully giving all the father's and future fathers who read this, a foundation for helping to initiate their sons in the future.
"The masculine journey has many mile markers to it, many critical moments of transition. One of the most significant is that point in time when a boy leaves behind him the stage of boyhood, and enters into the world of men. I believe this takes place early in the Cowboy stage, and I believe it is one of those transitions meant to have far more intentionality given to it than most of us experienced. 'The ancient societies believed that a boy becomes a man only through ritual and effort - only through the "active intervention of the older men,"' as Robert Bly reminds us. Ritual, and effort - that is what I mean by intentionality."
For too many of us this didn't happen, and we have to change that so the cycle doesn't continue. We must be intentional with our sons so that they can confidently grow into the men they were born to be. This isn't something we can sit by and hope it happens, we have to be intentional, and we need to start thinking about it now. As I said, I'm going to share a little of what John did, and I'll throw in some of the things I've thought of as well.
This is the time when a boy moves from boyhood to young man. He begins to see that he has a part to play in the world, that he has strength to offer, and that he can make a difference. But I think that the most crucial part of this transition is the relationship with the son and the Father. It is at this point in life that I think a young man begins to develop his own faith. He begins to realize that God is personal and that he needs a personal relationship with Him. This step in initiation is vital, because they young man begins his personal journey with God. And hearing from God must be a huge focus at this point.
"God speaks to young men - through trial, prayer, and fasting, and most often in the wilderness... what he speaks becomes a guiding force for their lives." And while a father, or father figure, may still be present, I believe that The Father must begin to really take over in the life of a young man at this point. He is entering the larger story, and being caught up in a life of epic battles and adventures.
Let's be intentional about this incredible gift, and offer it to our sons, and to each other, fathering those who weren't given this privilege, and inviting them into initiation.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
"The masculine journey has many mile markers to it, many critical moments of transition. One of the most significant is that point in time when a boy leaves behind him the stage of boyhood, and enters into the world of men. I believe this takes place early in the Cowboy stage, and I believe it is one of those transitions meant to have far more intentionality given to it than most of us experienced. 'The ancient societies believed that a boy becomes a man only through ritual and effort - only through the "active intervention of the older men,"' as Robert Bly reminds us. Ritual, and effort - that is what I mean by intentionality."
For too many of us this didn't happen, and we have to change that so the cycle doesn't continue. We must be intentional with our sons so that they can confidently grow into the men they were born to be. This isn't something we can sit by and hope it happens, we have to be intentional, and we need to start thinking about it now. As I said, I'm going to share a little of what John did, and I'll throw in some of the things I've thought of as well.
This is the time when a boy moves from boyhood to young man. He begins to see that he has a part to play in the world, that he has strength to offer, and that he can make a difference. But I think that the most crucial part of this transition is the relationship with the son and the Father. It is at this point in life that I think a young man begins to develop his own faith. He begins to realize that God is personal and that he needs a personal relationship with Him. This step in initiation is vital, because they young man begins his personal journey with God. And hearing from God must be a huge focus at this point.
"God speaks to young men - through trial, prayer, and fasting, and most often in the wilderness... what he speaks becomes a guiding force for their lives." And while a father, or father figure, may still be present, I believe that The Father must begin to really take over in the life of a young man at this point. He is entering the larger story, and being caught up in a life of epic battles and adventures.
Let's be intentional about this incredible gift, and offer it to our sons, and to each other, fathering those who weren't given this privilege, and inviting them into initiation.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Saturday, September 21, 2013
The Way of the Wild Heart, Chapter 6: Raising the Cowboy, part 6
I never planned on spending so much time in this chapter, but as I read I felt that almost every sub-section of the chapter needed to be its own post. But finally we come to the end of chapter six.
This final section poses a question, "But who will do this for me?" As we look at the journey of masculine initiation, it's clear that we need to be guided. Some are blessed with father's who are able to lead them, and actually do. Others aren't so fortunate. They have dads who were never initiated themselves, and even though some of them want to do more for their sons, are unable to because they haven't walked the path. But there is one who can initiate us, and more than that is willing and able to. He desires to, and He knows your heart, and what it needs, better than anyone else, because He created it. "God. Your Father will do this for you."
"I've seen so many men walk away disappointed when I've told them this. Perhaps it was from an unhealed father wound. Perhaps they don't realize that there is an intimacy available with God far better, much closer than what they've heretofore experienced. But my brothers, do not despair. God wants to father you. Has been fathering you for some time - you just haven't had the eyes to see it. In fact, even the best father can only take you so far. He was never meant to be your all-in-all. Rather, he was meant to bring you to the the Father."
I'm one of those guys who would walk away disappointed. The biggest struggle I have right now is that I have so many questions that only God can answer, and He isn't giving any. I face trial after trial, and I feel so alone, at times like no one, not even God, cares. But it all comes down to seeing things from His point of view. It comes down to knowing that I AM God's Beloved Son, and that in order to move through the stages of Warrior, Lover, King and Sage, I have to face the trials of the Cowboy stage.
I'm one of those people that isn't ashamed to seek the wisdom of older men who I respect and trust. Over the last few months I've started to be able to open up again as I've found a safe place in my pastor and another pastor friend. And the biggest frustration I've had is that even they are unable to answer my questions. All they can do is point me to God and offer encouragement. They've done more than say "I'll pray for you." They've listened and asked questions. They've shared experiences and offered encouragement. And they continue to be there for me. But ultimately all they can do is point me to the Father. "God will, at times, provide men to 'fill in the gaps'... You might find a mentor to walk you personally through many stages, but we all know by now that he's hard to find. Don't insist that it come from one man."
"God mostly wants to do our initiating directly, personally, himself. He wants the same relationship with us that Jesus - as a man - experienced with him during his journey on this earth. Remember - you are the son of a kind, strong, and engaged Father, a Father wise enough to guide you in the Way, generous enough to provide for your journey, offering to walk with you every step. Whatever else might seem true, this is what is most true."
God is at work in your life and mine brothers. He desires the intimacy with us, His sons, as we desire to have with our father. He is inviting us to walk this journey with Him as He initiates us into Men of God. He knows our hearts, and what they can handle, and He is with us as we face the trials and live the adventures. He is willing, are we?
"Father, take me there. Take me back to things that were lost, or unfinished, or never even started. Take me into the Cowboy stage and do this work in my soul. Father me here. Give me eyes to see, both where you have been fathering me and I didn't know it, and where you are initiating me now, though I might be misinterpreting it. I want to be brave and true. I want a strength, and I want to offer it to others. Lead me on."
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
This final section poses a question, "But who will do this for me?" As we look at the journey of masculine initiation, it's clear that we need to be guided. Some are blessed with father's who are able to lead them, and actually do. Others aren't so fortunate. They have dads who were never initiated themselves, and even though some of them want to do more for their sons, are unable to because they haven't walked the path. But there is one who can initiate us, and more than that is willing and able to. He desires to, and He knows your heart, and what it needs, better than anyone else, because He created it. "God. Your Father will do this for you."
"I've seen so many men walk away disappointed when I've told them this. Perhaps it was from an unhealed father wound. Perhaps they don't realize that there is an intimacy available with God far better, much closer than what they've heretofore experienced. But my brothers, do not despair. God wants to father you. Has been fathering you for some time - you just haven't had the eyes to see it. In fact, even the best father can only take you so far. He was never meant to be your all-in-all. Rather, he was meant to bring you to the the Father."
I'm one of those guys who would walk away disappointed. The biggest struggle I have right now is that I have so many questions that only God can answer, and He isn't giving any. I face trial after trial, and I feel so alone, at times like no one, not even God, cares. But it all comes down to seeing things from His point of view. It comes down to knowing that I AM God's Beloved Son, and that in order to move through the stages of Warrior, Lover, King and Sage, I have to face the trials of the Cowboy stage.
I'm one of those people that isn't ashamed to seek the wisdom of older men who I respect and trust. Over the last few months I've started to be able to open up again as I've found a safe place in my pastor and another pastor friend. And the biggest frustration I've had is that even they are unable to answer my questions. All they can do is point me to God and offer encouragement. They've done more than say "I'll pray for you." They've listened and asked questions. They've shared experiences and offered encouragement. And they continue to be there for me. But ultimately all they can do is point me to the Father. "God will, at times, provide men to 'fill in the gaps'... You might find a mentor to walk you personally through many stages, but we all know by now that he's hard to find. Don't insist that it come from one man."
"God mostly wants to do our initiating directly, personally, himself. He wants the same relationship with us that Jesus - as a man - experienced with him during his journey on this earth. Remember - you are the son of a kind, strong, and engaged Father, a Father wise enough to guide you in the Way, generous enough to provide for your journey, offering to walk with you every step. Whatever else might seem true, this is what is most true."
God is at work in your life and mine brothers. He desires the intimacy with us, His sons, as we desire to have with our father. He is inviting us to walk this journey with Him as He initiates us into Men of God. He knows our hearts, and what they can handle, and He is with us as we face the trials and live the adventures. He is willing, are we?
"Father, take me there. Take me back to things that were lost, or unfinished, or never even started. Take me into the Cowboy stage and do this work in my soul. Father me here. Give me eyes to see, both where you have been fathering me and I didn't know it, and where you are initiating me now, though I might be misinterpreting it. I want to be brave and true. I want a strength, and I want to offer it to others. Lead me on."
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Friday, September 20, 2013
The Way of the Wild Heart, Chapter 6: Raising the Cowboy, part 5
"Now, there is a rhythm to the earth, and to man's life upon it. At its best, the rhythm is a harmony of Discipline and Freedom. Harvest and Sabbath. School year and summer vacation. Monday mornings and Friday nights. Clean your room and go out to play. We teach a boy... by mixing the years of the Cowboy with both adventure and hard work."
This is what it all comes down to, balance. I know too many people who spent their Cowboy years simply adventuring, never working. Personally, I feel mine were spent with more working than adventure, which has had its own impact on who I am and how I see life. We need a balance to this so that there can be harmonious rhythm. Too much adventure and the boy sees life as something fun, enjoyment with no investment. But too much work and there will be nothing to enjoy because work is all that fills his life. There has to be balance, because ultimately, work leads to adventure, prepares us for adventure. Just as discipline ultimately leads to freedom.
It is crucial that a boy learn how to work during this stage of his life, but it is just as crucial that he learn life is meant to enjoy as well, and there is more than simply working to get ahead. I feel that too many times people do that, but once they get there they are unable to enjoy it because work is all they know. "There's a lot we have to learn before we become powerful. There is a way things work." But this lesson has to be learned with the balance of work and adventure, fun and responsibility.
"Mission trips would be ideal at this stage. For a boy-becoming-a-young-man to see what life is like in the developing world, to see poverty up close, to lend a hand in building a room or serving a meal or teaching English - that is a lesson he will never forget." Perhaps the biggest part of work is learning that you have strength, and that it is yours to use in the service of others. There are people in the world that need help, and you have the ability to offer it. All of this works to help a boy further understand that he is not the most important thing in the world, and that things do not function as they were intended. And in that he will begin to see that there is something he can do about it. He will begin to see his life as part of God's story, and realize that he is called to be part of something epic.
"Find ways to engage the boy in doing things for himself... 'Here - you do it.' The message: you can handle this... Quite often when you give a young man opportunities, he doesn't even see it as work." Let your sons use your tools, show them how, watch them, but let them do it. I hate working on cars with a passion, and the reason being, it was one thing my dad didn't really teach me. It was "Hold my light" and "Get me this tool", but I wasn't on the ground under the vehicle with him watching how to do things. Instead it was hours of just standing there, bored to death, learning nothing and wasting time.
"The wisdom for adventure is the same for work - where is the hesitation in the boy or man? Go there. What will develop in him a sense of strength, and courage, and confidence? Go there. And finally, how will you counter that essential selfishness inherent to man, how will you teach him to serve others? Go there."
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
This is what it all comes down to, balance. I know too many people who spent their Cowboy years simply adventuring, never working. Personally, I feel mine were spent with more working than adventure, which has had its own impact on who I am and how I see life. We need a balance to this so that there can be harmonious rhythm. Too much adventure and the boy sees life as something fun, enjoyment with no investment. But too much work and there will be nothing to enjoy because work is all that fills his life. There has to be balance, because ultimately, work leads to adventure, prepares us for adventure. Just as discipline ultimately leads to freedom.
It is crucial that a boy learn how to work during this stage of his life, but it is just as crucial that he learn life is meant to enjoy as well, and there is more than simply working to get ahead. I feel that too many times people do that, but once they get there they are unable to enjoy it because work is all they know. "There's a lot we have to learn before we become powerful. There is a way things work." But this lesson has to be learned with the balance of work and adventure, fun and responsibility.
"Mission trips would be ideal at this stage. For a boy-becoming-a-young-man to see what life is like in the developing world, to see poverty up close, to lend a hand in building a room or serving a meal or teaching English - that is a lesson he will never forget." Perhaps the biggest part of work is learning that you have strength, and that it is yours to use in the service of others. There are people in the world that need help, and you have the ability to offer it. All of this works to help a boy further understand that he is not the most important thing in the world, and that things do not function as they were intended. And in that he will begin to see that there is something he can do about it. He will begin to see his life as part of God's story, and realize that he is called to be part of something epic.
"Find ways to engage the boy in doing things for himself... 'Here - you do it.' The message: you can handle this... Quite often when you give a young man opportunities, he doesn't even see it as work." Let your sons use your tools, show them how, watch them, but let them do it. I hate working on cars with a passion, and the reason being, it was one thing my dad didn't really teach me. It was "Hold my light" and "Get me this tool", but I wasn't on the ground under the vehicle with him watching how to do things. Instead it was hours of just standing there, bored to death, learning nothing and wasting time.
"The wisdom for adventure is the same for work - where is the hesitation in the boy or man? Go there. What will develop in him a sense of strength, and courage, and confidence? Go there. And finally, how will you counter that essential selfishness inherent to man, how will you teach him to serve others? Go there."
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Thursday, September 19, 2013
The Way of the Wild Heart, Chapter 6: Raising the Cowboy, part 4
As we look at the journey there is a crucial question we must ask, "What unfinished business does God want to take us men back through, to pick up where we fell off? Perhaps to begin an initiation that never got started?" How many of us had fathers who were intentional about initiating us? How many of us had fathers who were capable of doing so? How many of us actually feel, deep down in the places that no one else knows about, that we are whole and complete men? I'll be honest, I don't.
I'm almost 27, and I have no career. I have a four year degree, and I'm an ordained minister, but I'm stuck working a part time job that after taxes gives me less than $13,000 a year. To top it off, I had to move my wife into my parent's basement, everyone's dream for their future when they move out. I've applied for jobs and been turned down for one reason or another, and I just can't seem to get my feet under me. Part of me really just wants to give up. I've asked myself, and God, repeatedly "Why does everything have to be so hard?" But part of me is beginning to learn that God is at work in all of this.
The longer it takes, the harder it gets. I still have days where I just get frustrated and have the worst attitude, Tuesday was one of those days, but reading this chapter has given me pause. It's caused me to begin thinking along a different line, and instead of asking why everything is so difficult, and how much longer is this going to last, to instead try to ask other questions.
"How much of my life have I been misinterpreting? How many things have I just written off as hassle or 'life is hard,' or even as warfare, when in fact God was in it, in the difficulty, wanting to Father me?"
Nothing is wasted with God. This masculine journey, this initiation, is not an option. It is something that God must lead us through. The tests and trials of the Cowboy stage can feel cruel if we haven't fully known ourselves to be Beloved Sons, but the reality is that it is because we are God's Beloved Sons that He is pushing us to grow and progress through the stages of the masculine journey. We must allow God to father us through the stages, and in each of them come to see what God is trying to teach us.
Right now I feel that I'm learning confidence in a new way that I haven't had before. And at the same time my passion and restlessness for full time ministry is growing daily. Along with this I've really started to think through what I'm looking for in a Church position. There are some jobs I could have done with churches that I've turned down, or haven't even sent a resume to, because something didn't line up. It hasn't been easy, at some points I've been like, "What are you doing?!" but I know there are still things that I have to learn.
And it is important to remember that we weren't meant to do this alone, we can't do this alone. We need a fellowship of men. "This is crucial to masculine initiation. Far too much has fallen on the shoulders of the father alone. It takes a company of men to bring a boy into the masculine world, and to bring young men to their maturity." We need fellowship with men. In Wild at Heart it's referred to as a Band of Brothers. We need other guys to go through life with. Guys who will stand shoulder to shoulder with us on the front lines. Guys who will watch our backs, and if need be, shed their blood for us. But this fellowship is a difficult thing to come by.
"How rare masculine fellowship is. I've been intentional about fighting for friendships with men over the years - you have to be, to find them and keep them - and intentional about trips like Moab and elk hunting that bring the men and boys together. It's rare, but I can be done. You need it, and your boys need it."
When I read this last week I sent it to one of my closest friends, telling him that this is what I need right now. He responded that so does he. We live close to two hours apart, both have crazy schedules, and have no idea how to make this work, but we both know that it is something we need. We weren't meant to do this alone. God didn't place us on individual islands to fend for ourselves. We have each other, and we need each other to sharpen ourselves. We must be intentional about fellowshipping together.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
I'm almost 27, and I have no career. I have a four year degree, and I'm an ordained minister, but I'm stuck working a part time job that after taxes gives me less than $13,000 a year. To top it off, I had to move my wife into my parent's basement, everyone's dream for their future when they move out. I've applied for jobs and been turned down for one reason or another, and I just can't seem to get my feet under me. Part of me really just wants to give up. I've asked myself, and God, repeatedly "Why does everything have to be so hard?" But part of me is beginning to learn that God is at work in all of this.
The longer it takes, the harder it gets. I still have days where I just get frustrated and have the worst attitude, Tuesday was one of those days, but reading this chapter has given me pause. It's caused me to begin thinking along a different line, and instead of asking why everything is so difficult, and how much longer is this going to last, to instead try to ask other questions.
"How much of my life have I been misinterpreting? How many things have I just written off as hassle or 'life is hard,' or even as warfare, when in fact God was in it, in the difficulty, wanting to Father me?"
Nothing is wasted with God. This masculine journey, this initiation, is not an option. It is something that God must lead us through. The tests and trials of the Cowboy stage can feel cruel if we haven't fully known ourselves to be Beloved Sons, but the reality is that it is because we are God's Beloved Sons that He is pushing us to grow and progress through the stages of the masculine journey. We must allow God to father us through the stages, and in each of them come to see what God is trying to teach us.
Right now I feel that I'm learning confidence in a new way that I haven't had before. And at the same time my passion and restlessness for full time ministry is growing daily. Along with this I've really started to think through what I'm looking for in a Church position. There are some jobs I could have done with churches that I've turned down, or haven't even sent a resume to, because something didn't line up. It hasn't been easy, at some points I've been like, "What are you doing?!" but I know there are still things that I have to learn.
And it is important to remember that we weren't meant to do this alone, we can't do this alone. We need a fellowship of men. "This is crucial to masculine initiation. Far too much has fallen on the shoulders of the father alone. It takes a company of men to bring a boy into the masculine world, and to bring young men to their maturity." We need fellowship with men. In Wild at Heart it's referred to as a Band of Brothers. We need other guys to go through life with. Guys who will stand shoulder to shoulder with us on the front lines. Guys who will watch our backs, and if need be, shed their blood for us. But this fellowship is a difficult thing to come by.
"How rare masculine fellowship is. I've been intentional about fighting for friendships with men over the years - you have to be, to find them and keep them - and intentional about trips like Moab and elk hunting that bring the men and boys together. It's rare, but I can be done. You need it, and your boys need it."
When I read this last week I sent it to one of my closest friends, telling him that this is what I need right now. He responded that so does he. We live close to two hours apart, both have crazy schedules, and have no idea how to make this work, but we both know that it is something we need. We weren't meant to do this alone. God didn't place us on individual islands to fend for ourselves. We have each other, and we need each other to sharpen ourselves. We must be intentional about fellowshipping together.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
The Way of the Wild Heart, Chapter 6: Raising the Cowboy, part 3
When we think of adventure I think the idea that most often come to mind (I know this is true for me), involves something outdoors. Loading a backpack and heading into the woods, setting out in my canoe, wadding through a river, or climbing a mountain, that is what I define adventure as. But there are many who hate the idea of nature. I have a friend who won't camp because he doesn't want to sleep on the ground, but I don't consider him less of a man because of that.
"I want to say that it is not necessary that a man become a mountaineer, a hunter, or a whitewater rafting guide to experience what I am describing in this book... However, there is something vital and, yes, necessary for the masculine soul that can be found only in wilderness... First, it would be good to remember that the world of nature is the world God created and set us in. He didn't make Adam from polyester, but from the dust of the earth, and he didn't set him down at the mall, but in the outdoors, in nature. The created world, with all its beauty and diversity and wildness, this is the world God intended for us to live in relationship to."
I've shared how I dislike the city, I feel so out of place there, because that isn't the world I was made for. Tell me I have to work in an office all day and wear a suit, and I'll be miserable for the rest of my life. But give me a piece of ground and tell me to improve it, I cannot tell you the joy that would give me, and the hope that it fills my heart with. And again, it's not that there is no adventure in the urban setting, or in an office, but it is something that man has made. We need to find ways to escape that. Why else do you think there is an 840 acre park in the middle of New York City? We were made for nature and deep down our souls crave it in some way.
"There is a humility and a seasoned wisdom to be learned in the natural world, as they are learned no other place. Yes, I have learned humility from my computer. But it pales to all I have learned from the mountains... That is one of the great lessons nature has for us. There is a way things work. You cannot simply walk through this world any old way you want. Turn a canoe sideways and it will tip. Approach an elk upwind and it will spook. Run your hand along the grain of wood and you'll get a splinter. There is a way things work. Oh, what a crucial lesson this is for a man. In the realm of nature, you can't just order room service, or change the channel, or write a new program to solve your problems. You can't ignore the way things work. You must be taught by it. Humility and wisdom come to a man when he learns those ways, and learn to live his life accordingly. his God instruct shim through the natural world. On the other hand, the artificial world is a world that is primarily under our control. And that's why we like it - we men like to have things under our control. Remote control, whenever possible. But that is not good for the masculine soul, nor is it good for a man's spirituality. God is not under our control, and one of the ways a boy and a young man come to begin to realize that is through the natural world. It is big enough, and bold enough, and awe-inspiring enough to begin a sort of fundamental reorientation. You are not the center of the universe. There are forces that command your respect. Learning to live in harmony with them is essential to your survival, not to mention your happiness."
I don't remember when my dad first introduced me to the movie Jeremiah Johnson, but I'm willing to bet that most of you haven't heard of it, much less seen it. It takes place in the mid 1800's and is actually based on a true story. Robert Redford plays the main character who deserts the army and heads west to become a mountain man. He buys a good horse, rifle, and gear and heads off to live in the Rocky Mountains. Fortunately for him he is taken in by an older mountain man who survives by hunting grizzly bears. The night they meet he takes Jeremiah into his cabin and begins to teach him how to survive, and he tells him, "You can't cheat the mountain Pilgrim. Mountain's got its own way."
In nature, no matter how prepared you are, you are never in control. The mountain has its own way that cannot be tamed, you learn to live with it and live by its way. And that is an important lesson to learn, because no matter how prepared you are, or think you are for life, it is never under your control. The universe has an order, and you are not above that, but in the urban world it is easy to miss this lesson. "There are things to learn through nature, lessons that simply cannot be learned anywhere else." And so we need to head to the woods, venture to the mountains, and take in all that it has to offer.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
"I want to say that it is not necessary that a man become a mountaineer, a hunter, or a whitewater rafting guide to experience what I am describing in this book... However, there is something vital and, yes, necessary for the masculine soul that can be found only in wilderness... First, it would be good to remember that the world of nature is the world God created and set us in. He didn't make Adam from polyester, but from the dust of the earth, and he didn't set him down at the mall, but in the outdoors, in nature. The created world, with all its beauty and diversity and wildness, this is the world God intended for us to live in relationship to."
I've shared how I dislike the city, I feel so out of place there, because that isn't the world I was made for. Tell me I have to work in an office all day and wear a suit, and I'll be miserable for the rest of my life. But give me a piece of ground and tell me to improve it, I cannot tell you the joy that would give me, and the hope that it fills my heart with. And again, it's not that there is no adventure in the urban setting, or in an office, but it is something that man has made. We need to find ways to escape that. Why else do you think there is an 840 acre park in the middle of New York City? We were made for nature and deep down our souls crave it in some way.
"There is a humility and a seasoned wisdom to be learned in the natural world, as they are learned no other place. Yes, I have learned humility from my computer. But it pales to all I have learned from the mountains... That is one of the great lessons nature has for us. There is a way things work. You cannot simply walk through this world any old way you want. Turn a canoe sideways and it will tip. Approach an elk upwind and it will spook. Run your hand along the grain of wood and you'll get a splinter. There is a way things work. Oh, what a crucial lesson this is for a man. In the realm of nature, you can't just order room service, or change the channel, or write a new program to solve your problems. You can't ignore the way things work. You must be taught by it. Humility and wisdom come to a man when he learns those ways, and learn to live his life accordingly. his God instruct shim through the natural world. On the other hand, the artificial world is a world that is primarily under our control. And that's why we like it - we men like to have things under our control. Remote control, whenever possible. But that is not good for the masculine soul, nor is it good for a man's spirituality. God is not under our control, and one of the ways a boy and a young man come to begin to realize that is through the natural world. It is big enough, and bold enough, and awe-inspiring enough to begin a sort of fundamental reorientation. You are not the center of the universe. There are forces that command your respect. Learning to live in harmony with them is essential to your survival, not to mention your happiness."
I don't remember when my dad first introduced me to the movie Jeremiah Johnson, but I'm willing to bet that most of you haven't heard of it, much less seen it. It takes place in the mid 1800's and is actually based on a true story. Robert Redford plays the main character who deserts the army and heads west to become a mountain man. He buys a good horse, rifle, and gear and heads off to live in the Rocky Mountains. Fortunately for him he is taken in by an older mountain man who survives by hunting grizzly bears. The night they meet he takes Jeremiah into his cabin and begins to teach him how to survive, and he tells him, "You can't cheat the mountain Pilgrim. Mountain's got its own way."
In nature, no matter how prepared you are, you are never in control. The mountain has its own way that cannot be tamed, you learn to live with it and live by its way. And that is an important lesson to learn, because no matter how prepared you are, or think you are for life, it is never under your control. The universe has an order, and you are not above that, but in the urban world it is easy to miss this lesson. "There are things to learn through nature, lessons that simply cannot be learned anywhere else." And so we need to head to the woods, venture to the mountains, and take in all that it has to offer.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
The Way of the Wild Heart, Chapter 6: Raising the Cowboy, part 2
"A young man needs something epic. So much of the thrill-seeking we see in young men is a search for a deeper experience, one that is spiritual in nature, though they don't know how to put words to it. Notice that as a boy grows older, his longing for adventure typically grows more extreme...The heart of a young man hungers to be part of something epic."
I know my heart does. Right now I feel like I'm just existing. There are no real battles, no adventures, no real work, and my heart is so restless. I am so restless for something bigger and more exciting and challenging. Something epic. But is crucial to remember that the masculine journey is bigger than just the physical existence and experience. Life is deeply spiritual because it is from God. This journey, above all else, is a spiritual quest of initiation by God. A big part of the Cowboy stage is helping a boy begin to form his own faith, and build a strong, personal relationship with God.
He is searching for something epic and, "We need to help him find it in Christianity. We need to find it with God ourselves. So many times we miss this yearning in a young man's life by telling him to 'calm down,' when what we should be doing is hooking that yearning up to God. Now, 'going to church' does not meet this need. It can help to convey an epic story, if that is the Christianity being offered there, but in and of itself going to church is not the Epic Story, nor does it alone suffice to communicate that Story. The Spiritualty we offer a young man must be epic, or we'll lose him."
Ever paid attention to the audience of a church service? It's mostly made up of women. Wild at Heart talked about this, and how today's church doesn't speak to the hearts of men, or present Christianity in a way that relates to men. For me, church was never something epic or exciting, never something that spoke to my heart as a man, but I learned to see God as He is, and who He is captures my heart, and calls it into the epic story that is taking place. Church has largely missed the point, and that's why men are lacking. So what do we do to help our sons fall in love with God?
"It begins by first taking a look at the Christianity you are living. Is it epic? Or is it just good morals and a few prayers? Remember that in the Scriptures, whenever God gets hold of a man he takes him into an epic story, one full of danger and drama and meaning. Abraham, Joseph, David, Jesus' disciples, Saul. The stories we read there are not meant to simply impress us with another man's life. They are examples of what can happen when we abandon ourselves to God - which for any man means, among other things, that we stop hedging our best, playing it safe. Second, when it comes to raising young men, it is crucial that his father's life (and Christianity) be epic at heart... Sit down!? Take it slow!? That is the last thing the young man needs to hear, especially from his father. A father's spirituality will either capture or repulse the boy."
As the Beloved Son, a boy sees glimpses of the heart of God in the love and strength of his father. Now as a Cowboy, the young man begins to form his own relationship with God, learning who He is and beginning to see the calling God has placed on his life. And his father will shape much of that. Is the father living an active and authentic relationship with God that is transforming the world, or is it one of obligatory church attendance? Remember, the stories contained in the Bible are of ordinary men who trusted and followed God in extraordinary lives. What happened then can, and needs to, happen now. We were made to lives like the men of Scripture, and it is what the heart of the young man yearns for. To see God do amazing things, and to encounter Him personally.
"I believe you can tie that yearning for something epic to a young man's spirituality through adventure, especially when adventure is set into a spiritual context. Remembering that our context is masculine initiation under the Father's guidance will help a great deal."
This journey is about us becoming the men God created us to be, and it is crucial that every stage is focused on Him and what He is working to accomplish. And above all it must be focused on glorifying Him. Adventure is a man living to the fullest, no matter what it is, and as St. Irenaeus said, "The glory of God is man fully alive." And so as we adventure, as we live life, let us point to the epic work God is doing to mold us into His men.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
I know my heart does. Right now I feel like I'm just existing. There are no real battles, no adventures, no real work, and my heart is so restless. I am so restless for something bigger and more exciting and challenging. Something epic. But is crucial to remember that the masculine journey is bigger than just the physical existence and experience. Life is deeply spiritual because it is from God. This journey, above all else, is a spiritual quest of initiation by God. A big part of the Cowboy stage is helping a boy begin to form his own faith, and build a strong, personal relationship with God.
He is searching for something epic and, "We need to help him find it in Christianity. We need to find it with God ourselves. So many times we miss this yearning in a young man's life by telling him to 'calm down,' when what we should be doing is hooking that yearning up to God. Now, 'going to church' does not meet this need. It can help to convey an epic story, if that is the Christianity being offered there, but in and of itself going to church is not the Epic Story, nor does it alone suffice to communicate that Story. The Spiritualty we offer a young man must be epic, or we'll lose him."
Ever paid attention to the audience of a church service? It's mostly made up of women. Wild at Heart talked about this, and how today's church doesn't speak to the hearts of men, or present Christianity in a way that relates to men. For me, church was never something epic or exciting, never something that spoke to my heart as a man, but I learned to see God as He is, and who He is captures my heart, and calls it into the epic story that is taking place. Church has largely missed the point, and that's why men are lacking. So what do we do to help our sons fall in love with God?
"It begins by first taking a look at the Christianity you are living. Is it epic? Or is it just good morals and a few prayers? Remember that in the Scriptures, whenever God gets hold of a man he takes him into an epic story, one full of danger and drama and meaning. Abraham, Joseph, David, Jesus' disciples, Saul. The stories we read there are not meant to simply impress us with another man's life. They are examples of what can happen when we abandon ourselves to God - which for any man means, among other things, that we stop hedging our best, playing it safe. Second, when it comes to raising young men, it is crucial that his father's life (and Christianity) be epic at heart... Sit down!? Take it slow!? That is the last thing the young man needs to hear, especially from his father. A father's spirituality will either capture or repulse the boy."
As the Beloved Son, a boy sees glimpses of the heart of God in the love and strength of his father. Now as a Cowboy, the young man begins to form his own relationship with God, learning who He is and beginning to see the calling God has placed on his life. And his father will shape much of that. Is the father living an active and authentic relationship with God that is transforming the world, or is it one of obligatory church attendance? Remember, the stories contained in the Bible are of ordinary men who trusted and followed God in extraordinary lives. What happened then can, and needs to, happen now. We were made to lives like the men of Scripture, and it is what the heart of the young man yearns for. To see God do amazing things, and to encounter Him personally.
"I believe you can tie that yearning for something epic to a young man's spirituality through adventure, especially when adventure is set into a spiritual context. Remembering that our context is masculine initiation under the Father's guidance will help a great deal."
This journey is about us becoming the men God created us to be, and it is crucial that every stage is focused on Him and what He is working to accomplish. And above all it must be focused on glorifying Him. Adventure is a man living to the fullest, no matter what it is, and as St. Irenaeus said, "The glory of God is man fully alive." And so as we adventure, as we live life, let us point to the epic work God is doing to mold us into His men.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
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