Changed by God

"So he said to him, 'What is your name?' And he said, 'Jacob.' He said, 'Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel; for you have striven with God and with men and have prevailed.' Then Jacob asked him and said, 'Please tell me your name.' But he said, 'Why is it that you ask my name?' And he blessed him there. So Jacob named the place Peniel, for he said, 'I have seen God face to face, yet my life has been preserved.' Now the sun rose upon him just as he crossed over Penuel, and he was limping on his thigh." -Genesis 32.27-31

Jacob has endured the night long wrestling match, and is now holding on for the blessing of God. He is asked for his name, and gives it. And here again we see a name change. Jacob "the trickster" becomes Israel, "he who strives with God". He has endured hardship and difficulty, and he has overcome it all. And God changes his name to his true identity. Jacob leaves his encounter with God changed, and bears the sign of it for the rest of his life.

When we get alone with God, we cannot help but be changed by God. Even a life full of shame and deceit can be transformed by God. I've wondered if I should share this, and up until now I've decided not to, but I feel like God wants me to write it here. I'm not going to air out all the dirty laundry, but I feel I need to share a little.

My family name is not something I'm proud of. My family history is full of abandonment, alcoholism, adultery, and unwed parents. Over the past few years I've learned a lot about how the events of the past went down, and I came up with two options. One, I could change my name and start over. With this option I could completely separate myself from everything and create my own family. But as I've thought about it I've realized the heartbreak it would cause to some people I really don't want to hurt, and to be completely honest I don't know that I've always considered this option with the right motives.

That leaves me with option two. I work to bring restoration. I start fresh with my family, and I set the standard for the name Gunsalus. I become the patriarch, and I work to paint a new image, write a new family history, one that is worthy of honor. And when it comes to being a man, option two requires a man.

To do what I know I need to do, I must strive with God. There is so much that I've had to work through, and there is so much I'm working to help restore. I don't want my children to hear their last name and think of all the negative things that I do. My dad told me a few months ago, "All Gunsaluses do is get divorced and have kids with people they aren't married to." But by the grace of God I've already started to break that. And to be fair, my dad has tried to to an extent, he and my mom are together.

If we would change, we must be changed by God. He is the only one who can bring restoration, and if we would find it, we must strive with Him. God wants to restore you, but restoration comes at a steep price. Jesus has paid it, but because this gift is so precious, we must want it as desperately as God wants to give it. We must wrestle with Him all night, and refuse to let go until He blesses us. When He asks for our name we tell Him everything. We give Him the hurt and the shame, but then He does what only He can do. "No longer are you ashamed but honored." Honor comes at a steep price, but the marks we bear are badges of honor. They are hard earned, and symbols of God's restoring touch.

Men, let us get alone with God so that we may be changed by God.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Alone with God

"Then Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When he saw that he had not prevailed against him, he touched the socket of his thigh; so the socket of Jacob’s thigh was dislocated while he wrestled with him. Then he said, 'Let me go, for the dawn is breaking.' But he said, 'I will not let you go unless you bless me.'" -Genesis 32.24-26

Jacob has sent everything he has and all of his family across the Jabbok, and he is left alone the night before he will meet his brother Esau. A man comes to him and the two begin to wrestle. The match lasts all night, and as dawn approaches no one has the upper hand. The man dislocates Jacob's thigh, but Jacob refuses to let go until he has been blessed. How often do we approach God this way?

Men, when was the last time you spent all night in prayer to God? Have you ever? It's amazing how we can spend all night staying up and worrying about something, but never pray about it. How many all nighters have you pulled to study or party? What did they accomplish? What blessing did they bring?

What would happen if you gave up an hour of sleep to pray? What would happen if when you woke up in the middle of the night you got up and began to pray? What would happen if you took one night a month and simply dedicated it to prayer? What if you did one night a week?

When we pray, what if we didn't stop until we heard from God? What if we refused to stop praying until we received the blessing of a word from the Lord? How would that shape and mold us?

This approach to God will have a cost, Jacob would walk with a limp the rest of his life. But the cost is well worth the blessing we receive. When we spend time in intentional prayer to God, when we wrestle with Him, we leave changed. Men, let's make it a priority to get alone with God, as often as we can. Let's be intentional about it. Every day find a spot to read the Bible and pray. This blog can be part of that, take what is found here, read it, and pray about it.

Let's work on finding larger chunks of time to spend in prayer. Let's be intentional about making time, maybe Friday or Saturday night, to spend time wrestling with God, and being made holy by Him. And let's be intentional about retreats with God. One thing I'm hoping to be able to do is take a trip every year, just three days, and get alone in the wilderness with God. Time spent alone by the "Jabbok" to wrestle with God and be blessed by Him.

Men, let's get alone with God.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

I've been blessed with the opportunity to travel to some of the Bible lands. From time to time when I think of it I'll post related pictures that I have.

The Jabbok in present day Jordan.

Hold On to the Promises

"Jacob said, 'O God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac, O Lord, who said to me, "Return to your country and to your relatives, and I will prosper you," I am unworthy of all the lovingkindness and of all the faithfulness which You have shown to Your servant; for with my staff only I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two companies. Deliver me, I pray, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau; for I fear him, that he will come and attack me and the mothers with the children. For You said, "I will surely prosper you and make your descendants as the sand of the sea, which is too great to be numbered."'" -Genesis 32.9-12

The moment that Jacob has dreading, probably for the last twenty years, is now at hand. He has sent servants ahead as messengers with gifts, and they have returned with the news that Esau is on his way with four hundred men. Immediately Jacob goes into survival mode. He splits everything he has into two groups hoping that, worst case scenario, one of the groups will survive.

But then Jacob does something, he prays. He calls on the name of God, and recalls the things that God has said to him in the past, when he first came this way. Then he had nothing but his walking stick, and now he has so much that he is able to divide them into two companies. He acknowledges all that God has done for him up to this point. And now he prays, reminding himself of the promise God still has to fulfill.

Men, what do we hold on to in life? Do we cling to the promises of God more desperately than anything else? Jacob does it right here. He looks first at all that God has done for him. He remembers what God did in the past, and now sees how it has been fulfilled. He sees God's faithfulness to his words, and believes God will fulfill all that He has promised. He is clinging to God's promise as his only hope for survival.

What are you clinging to? What promises has God made? Which ones has He already fulfilled? Have you praised Him for them? What is still left to accomplish? Are you clinging to those with eager expectation? God doesn't forget what He said. Jacob isn't saying these things to remind God, he's saying them to remind himself.

Men, let's constantly remember what God has said. Let's celebrate the things He has already fulfilled. And let us hold on to the promises that we're still waiting for.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor