Changed by God

"So he said to him, 'What is your name?' And he said, 'Jacob.' He said, 'Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel; for you have striven with God and with men and have prevailed.' Then Jacob asked him and said, 'Please tell me your name.' But he said, 'Why is it that you ask my name?' And he blessed him there. So Jacob named the place Peniel, for he said, 'I have seen God face to face, yet my life has been preserved.' Now the sun rose upon him just as he crossed over Penuel, and he was limping on his thigh." -Genesis 32.27-31

Jacob has endured the night long wrestling match, and is now holding on for the blessing of God. He is asked for his name, and gives it. And here again we see a name change. Jacob "the trickster" becomes Israel, "he who strives with God". He has endured hardship and difficulty, and he has overcome it all. And God changes his name to his true identity. Jacob leaves his encounter with God changed, and bears the sign of it for the rest of his life.

When we get alone with God, we cannot help but be changed by God. Even a life full of shame and deceit can be transformed by God. I've wondered if I should share this, and up until now I've decided not to, but I feel like God wants me to write it here. I'm not going to air out all the dirty laundry, but I feel I need to share a little.

My family name is not something I'm proud of. My family history is full of abandonment, alcoholism, adultery, and unwed parents. Over the past few years I've learned a lot about how the events of the past went down, and I came up with two options. One, I could change my name and start over. With this option I could completely separate myself from everything and create my own family. But as I've thought about it I've realized the heartbreak it would cause to some people I really don't want to hurt, and to be completely honest I don't know that I've always considered this option with the right motives.

That leaves me with option two. I work to bring restoration. I start fresh with my family, and I set the standard for the name Gunsalus. I become the patriarch, and I work to paint a new image, write a new family history, one that is worthy of honor. And when it comes to being a man, option two requires a man.

To do what I know I need to do, I must strive with God. There is so much that I've had to work through, and there is so much I'm working to help restore. I don't want my children to hear their last name and think of all the negative things that I do. My dad told me a few months ago, "All Gunsaluses do is get divorced and have kids with people they aren't married to." But by the grace of God I've already started to break that. And to be fair, my dad has tried to to an extent, he and my mom are together.

If we would change, we must be changed by God. He is the only one who can bring restoration, and if we would find it, we must strive with Him. God wants to restore you, but restoration comes at a steep price. Jesus has paid it, but because this gift is so precious, we must want it as desperately as God wants to give it. We must wrestle with Him all night, and refuse to let go until He blesses us. When He asks for our name we tell Him everything. We give Him the hurt and the shame, but then He does what only He can do. "No longer are you ashamed but honored." Honor comes at a steep price, but the marks we bear are badges of honor. They are hard earned, and symbols of God's restoring touch.

Men, let us get alone with God so that we may be changed by God.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor