Loving Your Children

"Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his sons, because he was the son of his old age; and he made him a varicolored tunic. His brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers; and so they hated him and could not speak to him on friendly terms." -Genesis 37.3-4

Israel (Jacob), like his parents, Isaac and Rebekah, had a favorite child. No doubt he had learned from watching his parents that this was an ok practice and carried it on. His situation is slightly different however. For him growing up there were only two, so each child had a parent who loved them most. Israel has twelve sons and a daughter, so the ratio is thrown off a bit. And two be fair, it doesn't say that he didn't love his other children, just that he loved Joseph more than all of them.

I think this is something that happens a lot more often than people are willing to admit. There is one child that stands apart. Maybe they were the first born, maybe they are the youngest. Maybe they are the only son, or only daughter. Maybe it was a child you weren't supposed to be able to have, your miracle child. Whatever the reason it's clear that they are your favorite, and though you might not see it, the siblings feel it.

My wife made a comment a few weeks ago about how do you love all of your children the same, and I've thought about it a little since then. My answer, you don't, you love them each differently. And by differently, I mean uniquely. Each child is there own individual special being. Each one is different. Each one has different passions and desires. Each one has different gifts and talents. You love your children by loving their hearts. You take an interest in what they are interested in because their heart matters to you. You show them that just being together with them is what you want, even if it involves doing something you aren't crazy about.

I love to hike, camp, canoe, basically anything outdoors. I hate to work on cars, but if I have a child that enjoys it, then I'll learn to do it and enjoy it with them because it's something they enjoy. I'll learn to speak to them in their love language, and each one knows that they are loved and valued by dad for who they are. And had Israel taken this approach Joseph's brothers wouldn't have hated him.

Love your children uniquely in ways that show them you know them and care about what they care about. Make time together the point, showing them you value being with them, even if it's not something you yourself would choose to do. Love them for who they are, and love them all, not just the ones you have things in common with. Love them uniquely.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor