Fix or Avoid?

"Now Reuben returned to the pit, and behold, Joseph was not in the pit; so he tore his garments. He returned to his brothers and said, 'The boy is not there; as for me, where am I to go?'" -Genesis 37.29-30

Reuben had a plan. He had had an affair with one of his father's concubines, and his father found out about it. He had lost honor and integrity with his actions, and for some time had been trying to figure out how to regain it. He had made a mistake, gotten caught, and now was trying to fix it. Then one day the annoying little brother shows up and the other brothers decide they have had enough and to off him. At last, the opportunity he's been waiting for.

The first part of the plan goes well. He talks them out of killing him, and Joseph ends up alive in a pit. Now all that's left is to get him out secretly, and take him home. He'll explain what happened, how he saved the life of the father's favorite son, and all will be forgiven. Later he heads back to the pit for step two of the plan, but now the pit is empty. Joseph is gone, and so is the one hope he had of fixing his mistake.

He had a plan that might have worked, but the problem is he needed a plan to begin with. Reuben never should have compromised himself and fallen into the need of a redemptive act. Men, how many times do we try to fix our mistakes? We say something we shouldn't have and we try to apologize. We get caught in the wrong place at the wrong time and we try to make excuses for why we're there, or we throw someone else under the bus to try to save our own skin. We change our environment so that the truth doesn't get found out. We put so much work into trying to fix our faults, instead of putting all of that energy into avoiding them to begin with.

With Reuben, he gave in to a desire for pleasure. He didn't think he'd get caught, but as soon as he does he begins to work on a plan to try to fix it. How many men have fallen into a similar trap and reacted in a similar way? You've compromised your integrity, and truthfully, there is no way for you to undo that. It's like chopping down a tree. One mistake won't topple you, just like one strike of an ax won't bring down a tree, but it leaves a mark that will always be there. Try as we might, there is no way to undo it, the mark will always be there.

Men, we cannot fix our mistakes. We can't take back the words we say. We can't hide from the truth forever. So instead of working so hard to try and fix them, let's put the energy into avoiding them. Let us flee from temptation and evil. Let us learn self-control, and how to tame the tongue. Let us focus on God, and growing in righteousness.

I have been dwelling on Proverbs 3.5-8 for several months now, and when we get there I'll write more on it, but if we would avoid mistakes, this is where our focus needs to be. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your body and refreshment to your bones."

I've used the word "mistake" in this post, but I don't mean the little things like coloring outside the lines. I'm talking about the big things. The things that destroy us. I'm talking about sin. And while sin can be forgiven by God, we have to live with the consequences of our actions, and that means damaged integrity. But if we trust in God and acknowledge Him in all things, not leaning on our own understanding, He will make our paths straight. If we are humble and fear Him, turning away from evil, we will have peace.

Men, let us pour ourselves into avoiding sin at all costs. Let us flee from everything that could compromise our integrity. Once the damage is done, it's impossible to fix it. Reuben's plan didn't work, and neither will your's. Let's not get ourselves into the situation where we have to try to fix it. Rather, let us focus all of our energy on walking the path of righteousness and avoiding sin at all costs.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Life, Protect and Value it

"But Reuben heard this and rescued him out of their hands and said, 'Let us not take his life.' Reuben further said to them, 'Shed no blood. Throw him into this pit that is in the wilderness, but do not lay hands on him'—that he might rescue him out of their hands, to restore him to his father." -Genesis 37.21-22

Joseph's brothers have had all they can take. First it was their father's favoritism, but then Joseph had these dreams that just pushed them over the edge. They take the sheep to pasture, probably relieved to be on the road away from home, and their brother. But Israel wants a report. Again, he cares about all of his children, he loves each of his sons, Joseph is just his favorite, and everybody knows it.

Joseph is sent to bring a report, his brothers see him in the distance and decide to be done with him. They are in the wilderness, no one will know what really happened except for them, and so they decide to be rid of their pesky little brother forever. But then Reuben, the oldest, speaks up, and saves his life.

I have a theory that Reuben is trying to win back some approval from his father after his relationship with Bilhah. What better way then by saving the life of the favorite son? But here we see a crucial characteristic for a man. Men value, and protect, life.

Anyone can take a life, physically or figuratively. It's not hard to destroy someone, people do it everyday without a second thought. But it takes strength to stand up for life. It takes strength to fight for life. It takes strength to resist taking a life. In the first Hobbit movie Gandalf says to Bilbo, "True courage is knowing not when to take a life, but when to spare one."

It takes a man to protect life, and a man does. A man does everything he can to save life. He realizes how precious a gift it is, and he does what he can to give it. Men, let us do all that we can to protect life. Let us speak it into others, and rescue them from those who seek to destroy it.

Life is precious, value and protect it. This is what your strength is for.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Loving Your Children

"Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his sons, because he was the son of his old age; and he made him a varicolored tunic. His brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers; and so they hated him and could not speak to him on friendly terms." -Genesis 37.3-4

Israel (Jacob), like his parents, Isaac and Rebekah, had a favorite child. No doubt he had learned from watching his parents that this was an ok practice and carried it on. His situation is slightly different however. For him growing up there were only two, so each child had a parent who loved them most. Israel has twelve sons and a daughter, so the ratio is thrown off a bit. And two be fair, it doesn't say that he didn't love his other children, just that he loved Joseph more than all of them.

I think this is something that happens a lot more often than people are willing to admit. There is one child that stands apart. Maybe they were the first born, maybe they are the youngest. Maybe they are the only son, or only daughter. Maybe it was a child you weren't supposed to be able to have, your miracle child. Whatever the reason it's clear that they are your favorite, and though you might not see it, the siblings feel it.

My wife made a comment a few weeks ago about how do you love all of your children the same, and I've thought about it a little since then. My answer, you don't, you love them each differently. And by differently, I mean uniquely. Each child is there own individual special being. Each one is different. Each one has different passions and desires. Each one has different gifts and talents. You love your children by loving their hearts. You take an interest in what they are interested in because their heart matters to you. You show them that just being together with them is what you want, even if it involves doing something you aren't crazy about.

I love to hike, camp, canoe, basically anything outdoors. I hate to work on cars, but if I have a child that enjoys it, then I'll learn to do it and enjoy it with them because it's something they enjoy. I'll learn to speak to them in their love language, and each one knows that they are loved and valued by dad for who they are. And had Israel taken this approach Joseph's brothers wouldn't have hated him.

Love your children uniquely in ways that show them you know them and care about what they care about. Make time together the point, showing them you value being with them, even if it's not something you yourself would choose to do. Love them for who they are, and love them all, not just the ones you have things in common with. Love them uniquely.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor