Dads, Teach Your Sons to be Men

"Then Jacob said to Simeon and Levi, 'You have brought trouble on me by making me odious among the inhabitants of the land, among the Canaanites and the Perizzites; and my men being few in number, they will gather together against me and attack me and I will be destroyed, I and my household.' But they said, 'Should he treat our sister as a harlot?'" -Genesis 34.30-31

Simeon and Levi return, and their father has some words for them. He is upset because of their actions and the possible ramifications they could have on him. But here's the thing, it's all his fault. Jacob didn't act when he should have, and his sons took action because he wouldn't.

I wonder if Jacob might be feeling guilty. He should have acted and didn't. His sons acted, but not in the way they should have. A city is now dead. And Jacob could have changed all of this, had he simply acted. He's the face of the covenant now. God was with him, and would have been with him as he sought justice, and yet he does nothing.

Abraham took action, he led his men into battle to save Lot. Isaac took action as well, he moved on and kept digging wells. And now when it's Jacob's turn, he is silent and does nothing. But when his sons do something he confronts them. It was his place to act and he doesn't do a thing. They took the wrong course of action, and it's his fault.

Men, it's our place to teach our sons how to be men. It's our place to show them how to control their anger and flee from revenge. It's our place to show them that a man comforts the hurt, and seeks justice for the oppressed. It's our place to show them that a man acts, and show them how to act correctly. When we don't we leave them to figure it out for themselves, and without a man to guide them they most likely don't do things the way a man should.

Men, teach your sons to act and show them how. That way when they do they won't make you odious to the inhabitants of the land. They will know what a man is supposed to do, and they will have the courage to do it because they have watched and learned from you. Teach your sons to be men.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Justice or Revenge

"Now it came about on the third day, when they were in pain, that two of Jacob’s sons, Simeon and Levi, Dinah’s brothers, each took his sword and came upon the city unawares, and killed every male. They killed Hamor and his son Shechem with the edge of the sword, and took Dinah from Shechem’s house, and went forth. Jacob’s sons came upon the slain and looted the city, because they had defiled their sister. They took their flocks and their herds and their donkeys, and that which was in the city and that which was in the field; and they captured and looted all their wealth and all their little ones and their wives, even all that was in the houses." -Genesis 34.25-29

The daughter has been violated. The father has failed to act. The sons have stepped up to fill the void. But their desire for justice turns into all out revenge, and with revenge many innocent end up suffering. Justice would have been making Shechem face judgment, but Simeon and Levi take it too far, and slaughter an entire city. Then the other brothers come and loot the city.

Men, there is a big difference between justice and revenge. Justice is served on behalf of the wronged in order to allow all to live together in society. Revenge is based on hatred and has a desire to make someone pay at your own hands. One of them can be done righteously, and the other pulls us off of the path to Christlikeness.

Revenge comes easy. In our world justice is so easily corrupted. The rich can buy off a judge (yes it happens) and the poor are left to themselves. Revenge is something we take into our own hands to make sure the offender pays for what they did. Revenge cannot be corrupted because it already corrupt.

Do you seek justice or revenge? The follow up question, which one requires a man? Justice is standing up for the wronged, and seeking to make society possible. Justice stands up for the truth, revenge seeks your own satisfaction. Justice protects the innocent, revenge hurts the innocent with the guilty. Justice is worth fighting for, revenge is something we should flee from.

Which do you want to pursue?

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Dad, Play the Man

"Shechem also said to her father and to her brothers, 'If I find favor in your sight, then I will give whatever you say to me. Ask me ever so much bridal payment and gift, and I will give according as you say to me; but give me the girl in marriage.' But Jacob’s sons answered Shechem and his father Hamor with deceit, because he had defiled Dinah their sister." -Genesis 34.11-13

First Jacob does nothing about his daughter's rape. And now when he is confronted by her attacker and his father he remains silent. Shechem speaks directly to him and makes a request for her hand, and it is Dinah's brothers that speak up. Where is the father in all of this? Where is "he who strives with God"?

When dad refuses to act, sons feel the need to step up and take on the role that dad has left void. Jacob should be dealing with this situation. But we never see that he comforts his daughter, and not surprising, we don't see him seek justice on her behalf. When dad refuses to play the man, his sons will try. The problem is a boy is not ready to be a man yet, and great damage comes from making him grow up too fast.

The brothers aren't thinking clearly, they are blinded by anger, in this case hatred is probably more accurate. They have a plan to get revenge, their idea of justice, and without a father to guide them in how to properly take action here, bad things are about to unfold.

Men, if God has blessed you with a family, play the man. Protect and comfort your daughters. Lead and guide your sons. Your role is to make the world safe for them with your strength. Your role is to teach them how to live in society. Your role is to lead them into Christlikeness. If you remain silent, they are left to figure it out for themselves. They aren't equipped to be able to do that, that's why God gave them to you. Don't fail them. Play the man.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Daughters, a Precious Gift

"Now Jacob heard that he had defiled Dinah his daughter; but his sons were with his livestock in the field, so Jacob kept silent until they came in. Then Hamor the father of Shechem went out to Jacob to speak with him. Now the sons of Jacob came in from the field when they heard it; and the men were grieved, and they were very angry because he had done a disgraceful thing in Israel by lying with Jacob’s daughter, for such a thing ought not to be done." -Genesis 34.5-7

Here we find a story that is odd to me. Jacob's daughter is raped, and we see him do nothing. His sons are in the field, and instead of doing something he allows them to continue with their task until they return. In some ways there is wisdom in this. The situation is one that would rouse them to anger, justly, but might cause them to act rashly, which may be justice, but may be blood thirsty vengeance.

But when they finally do come in, we see that they are the angry ones, and from what we can gather, Jacob at the most is grieved, but possibly pretty indifferent. We've seen so much growth in his life, and yet now, when he is perhaps needed most as a father, we get nothing from him. And as we'll see later in Scripture, this same response happens again.

The very least Jacob should do is go to his daughter and wrap his arms around her. He needs to comfort her, and love her. And then he, as the leader, needs to seek justice. And I believe that is the order things must take place. I don't know of a good dad who wouldn't be feeling like justice first, I know what my reaction would be, but I don't think it's a good idea to write it out. But we must remember that a young girl has been violated. More than she needs justice she needs comfort and reassurance, and these can only come from her daddy.

Men, let us do what we can to prevent things like this from ever happening. Let us raise daughters to know their value and worth. Let us teach them about the priceless treasure they are, and the captivating beauty they possess. Let us be intentionally involved in the relationships they pursue, guiding them away from the people and situations that lead to this. I'm also a big believer in teaching daughters self-defense, so if need be they can fight off an attacker.

But most importantly let us pray. No matter what we do, no matter how involved we are, no matter what we teach, we simply can't be everywhere, or prevent everything. Sadly, this world is getting worse every minute, but even in this, prayer is the greatest weapon we have. And so I believe every father's daily prayer over his daughter should include, "God, keep her safe from the things I can't protect her from."

A daughter is a precious gift. God has lovingly placed His princess into your life to protect and guide back to Him. Don't fail her. Love, protect, and value her like the treasure she is.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor