“Hopefully by now - having passed through some experience of the other stages, and this one, too - the heart of the man has been awakened, come alive. Hopefully by now he is becoming a passionate man, a lover of beauty, haunted by the Great Romancer. Love, Beauty, Romance, Sexuality. It seems that when these are taking their place in a man's life, embraced, made whole and holy by God, then loving a woman comes quite naturally to a man... A man detached from his heart might attempt to do the right things toward a woman - valentines, flowers, a night on the town - but it will lack essential passion, and she won't enjoy it. Principles do not a Lover make."
And now we come to it at last, the relationship between a man and a woman. This is part of life, and a good part. But it must occur at the proper moment. You can marry the right person at the wrong time. Before a man enters into a relationship with a woman, he must first know who he is. He must know his identity in Christ, and he must know the love of God for him. Then, and only then, can he truly begin to love his wife.
Let's look at Scripture. Ephesians 5 says it clearly, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless" (verses 25-27).
Love your wives just as Christ loved the church. How did Christ love the church? He lived a perfect life, setting an example for them on how to live, and then He laid His own life down to die to save it. He died so that the church could have new life, and He lived showing them what the new life looked like. In order to love his wife as Christ loves the church a husband must be willing to both lay down his life, and to live in his God given identity. In order to do that he must have been the Beloved Son, and also be a Warrior. Beloved Sons know who they are, and Warriors stand firm and take back ground from the enemy. And sadly, when it comes to your wife, there will be a lot of ground to take back. Not because of her, but because she, as the reflection of beauty, has been so assaulted by the enemy.
"Now, a few words of warning. Loving a woman will prove to be your greatest test as a man, and probably your greatest battle." It will be a fierce fight, but it is a fight we must win. But it's amazing how many men enter into a marriage never expecting a battle.
"The great surprise is that she is broken. Often her brokenness will remain hidden until she becomes engaged, or married, and then wham - it all comes out. Why is that? You'd think now that she is safe, now that she knows she's loved, she would be in a better place. But that's just it - now that she is safe and loved, her soul can quit pushing it all down. Before she is pursued and wanted, she fears that she cannot be herself of no man will want her. Now that she is loved, her heart comes forth and with it the sorrow of her life. It presents an opportunity for healing, so long as the young man handles things well. (Your life and validation are found in God - hang on to that!) Learn to pray for her, tenderly when you are with her, and fiercely in your closet alone. You will need to fight the evil one for your wife, the historic demons that have assaulted her since her youth."
Your warrior's heart is essential, here. I can't stress that enough. And when your wife opens up and shares with you, it's because she trusts you to fight for her heart, it's because she believes you can, and she wants you to. She married you for your strength; give it to her now when she needs it most. And it is for this reason that a man must first know the love of God. Again, I can't stress this enough. Our strength comes from Him. We learn that we are loved from Him. And we learn to love from Him. The closer you are to God, the more you can love and fight for your wife.
And it is important to note that you won't always feel loving. And what you do in those moments says so much about you, and molds you. "Loving a woman when you are in love comes easily. Sure, sometimes awkwardly, in that there is much to be learned to be a Lover. But the motivation is fully in force when you are in love. Our development as men and Lovers comes in those times when things don't feel romantic at all."
Love isn't defined by the warm fuzzy feelings. Real love is seen in the hard times. It's what you do when it isn't easy, when it isn't what you really want to do. And when you do this, you begin to set her heart free. "You see, the Beauty is in there. She is in there. A real Lover makes love to the soul of a woman, not just her body. And her soul is lovely, whatever else might be going on. The beauty is there. And, to taste the fruit of your strength and courage and steadfastness, over years, as your wife begins to come into the healing and freedom God intends for her - ah, that is sweet fruit indeed. I know none sweeter."
This battle is fierce, but it is worth every moment of the fight. Remember, the woman is the reflection of God's beauty, and the freer her heart is, the more completely it can reflect His beauty. The more whole and complete you are the more whole and complete she can be. And when a man and a woman, whole and complete in who God created them to be, come together as one, you have something absolutely incredible. The fullest image of God that can occur this side of Heaven.
And so fight for her. Pursue her. John gives advice I heard before my wife and I were married. "'Try to out-bless God in blessing her.' Meaning, try to outdo the Great Romancer in finding ways to simply lavish upon your wife." You can't do it. But the heart of a Lover, loves to continue to try.
"The heart of a Lover simply wants to lavish her with love, with no thought of return. It does return, as her heart is filled with gratitude. Not because something is owed, but because her heart matters to you and your heart matters to her more than just about anything in the world. This is love we're talking about." Love her, and watch her love you. And in this you'll get a glimpse of God's love for you. The more you love her, the more you'll understand the love of God for you.
"Learning to be loved, and learning to love, learning to be romanced, and learning to romance - that is what this stage is all about. Not duty. Not merely discipline. But an awakening of our hearts to the Beauty and Love of God, and at the same time (we cannot wait until some later time), we offer our hearts as well - to God, to the women in our lives, to our sons and daughters, to others. This is a love story, after all... He is a great Romancer, and you shall be also."
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Showing posts with label Women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Women. Show all posts
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Friday, May 31, 2013
Wild at Heart, Chapter 10: A Beauty to Rescue, part 4
Every beauty needs to be rescued, the question every man must answer is, "Will you fight for her?" Will you risk your life to save hers, or leave her to fend for herself in the tower? She must be rescued, and if you refuse to do it, she will look for it in someone else.
Back in college on of my RA's (Resident Assistants) told me something I haven't forgotten, "Too many guys treat the girl like a princess until they get her, then they stop. It's like once they have her they think they don't have to try anymore." When he told me that I knew that I wanted to be the guy who never stopped, sadly I can't say that I haven't.
I don't always treat my wife like the princess that she is, and honestly I hate myself for that. I hate that I've let other things take up the few precious moments we get to spend together. I hate that I am silent and kill her with it. I hate that I get impatient with her. I hate that there are times I haven't fought for her.
"And it's not just once, but again and again over time. That's where the myth really stumps us. Some men are willing to go in once, twice, even three times. But a warrior is in this for good." There is nothing that could ever make me leave my wife. Never once have I thought, "I wish I could get out of this." But there are times I've treated her like I think that way. The times I don't make her a priority. The times I let the chaos of life overwhelm me to the point of complacency. The times when I let my frustration with circumstances come out as anger directed at her. Those are the times I have dropped out of the fight for her heart.
I'm not saying a husband and wife will never fight or argue, that's unavoidable when you bring two people with two decades of separate lives together into one. I'm not saying there won't be times when things come up that demand your attention. But we do have a choice in how we react during these times. Even in those moments it is still possible to fight for her heart. I'm learning how to.
If we rescue the beauty it says so much about who we are as men. "The universe is so vast and so ageless that the life of one man can only be justified by the measure of his sacrifice." Only I can be a husband to my wife and father to our children. My goals and dreams don't matter if it costs me my family. And so the question is what will I sacrifice? Will I give up the princess for myself, or myself for the princess?
I choose her. Yes it does mean the hardships of battle, but it also means her love. That is worth every wound I will receive in the fight. And with her it opens the door to a whole new life of adventure.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Back in college on of my RA's (Resident Assistants) told me something I haven't forgotten, "Too many guys treat the girl like a princess until they get her, then they stop. It's like once they have her they think they don't have to try anymore." When he told me that I knew that I wanted to be the guy who never stopped, sadly I can't say that I haven't.
I don't always treat my wife like the princess that she is, and honestly I hate myself for that. I hate that I've let other things take up the few precious moments we get to spend together. I hate that I am silent and kill her with it. I hate that I get impatient with her. I hate that there are times I haven't fought for her.
"And it's not just once, but again and again over time. That's where the myth really stumps us. Some men are willing to go in once, twice, even three times. But a warrior is in this for good." There is nothing that could ever make me leave my wife. Never once have I thought, "I wish I could get out of this." But there are times I've treated her like I think that way. The times I don't make her a priority. The times I let the chaos of life overwhelm me to the point of complacency. The times when I let my frustration with circumstances come out as anger directed at her. Those are the times I have dropped out of the fight for her heart.
I'm not saying a husband and wife will never fight or argue, that's unavoidable when you bring two people with two decades of separate lives together into one. I'm not saying there won't be times when things come up that demand your attention. But we do have a choice in how we react during these times. Even in those moments it is still possible to fight for her heart. I'm learning how to.
If we rescue the beauty it says so much about who we are as men. "The universe is so vast and so ageless that the life of one man can only be justified by the measure of his sacrifice." Only I can be a husband to my wife and father to our children. My goals and dreams don't matter if it costs me my family. And so the question is what will I sacrifice? Will I give up the princess for myself, or myself for the princess?
I choose her. Yes it does mean the hardships of battle, but it also means her love. That is worth every wound I will receive in the fight. And with her it opens the door to a whole new life of adventure.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Wild at Heart, Chapter 10: A Beauty to Rescue, part 3
"Most men want the maiden without any sort of cost to themselves. They want all the joys of the beauty without any of the woes of the battle." Most men want to look like the warrior, but don't want to bleed like one. They want the beauty without going through the dragon, and it doesn't work that way.
A friend of mine is working on a series of novels. I'm pretty stoked about reading them, and not just because one of the characters who is alluded to in book one and shows up in book two is based on me. It's a story about an epic journey, full of battles and boys becoming men and those men becoming warriors (can't give much more than that, but trust me, you'll want to read them). He would talk with me about the series back when we were in college and as he would describe situations my character faced he'd occasionally ask if I had any ideas.
On this particular occasion we were talking about some battle and I recommended an epic speech. Every series needs to have an epic speech before a battle, it's a rule. I suggested something along the lines of "Freedom is never free. There is always a great price that must be paid for it. Those who are willing, follow me." And then it all begins. (Who else is ready to read these?)
Freedom isn't won by people who sit at home. The beauty is never yours without a fight. "Pretty women endure this abuse all the time. They are pursued, but not really; they are wanted, but only superficially. They learn to offer their bodies but never, ever their souls. Most men, you see, marry for safety; they choose a woman who will make them feel like a man but never really challenge them to be one."
This is one of the saddest realities out there. Boys who have never really become men get to the point where it is time to find a life mate. But because there has been no initiation for them, they have no strength to offer to her. We end up with lonely women left to raise the kids on their own. You have a wife who feels abandoned and who remains in the tower because the one who is supposed to rescue her refuses to. He is in this for himself and doesn't want to be challenged to be something more. And so he marries someone he thinks will make him happy without asking him to rise to a challenge.
These are the guys who can't rise to the challenge. They can't suit up and storm the fortress because they don't know how to. But then there are the guys who won't. They guys who for one reason or another find a reason not to offer what they have. "Why don't men offer what they have to their women? Because we know down in our guts that it won't be enough... This is where many men falter. Either they refuse to give what they can, or they keep pouring and pouring into her and all the while feel like a failure because she is still needing more."
This points to a reality for both them and us. "She needs God more than she needs you, just as you need him more than you need her." I never dated in middle school or high school. In college I dated one girl, and I'm really glad that ended. But as senior year came around, pretty much everyone I knew was either married, getting married, planning on getting engaged, or really seriously dating, and I was single. It was a rough and slightly depressing stage of life. But in that time God and I got close. I got to the point shortly after graduation where I realized that I didn't need a wife, that I was enough in and of myself to be able to do what God had called me to do ministry wise. Now I'll be the first to admit that having my wife makes things so much easier and that I don't ever want to have to do this without her, but before I could marry her, before I could begin to rescue her from the tower, I had to be more dependent up God, and closer to God, than I ever would be to her. And before she could ever be rescued by me, God had to rescue her.
"Do you see now that you can't bring your question to Eve? No matter how good a man you are you can never be enough. If she's the report card on your strength then you'l ultimately get an F. But that's not why you love her - to get a good grade. You love her because that's what you are made to do; that's what a real man does."
My strength comes form God, and so I offer what I have to her, knowing that I can't satisfy all her needs, knowing that I can't bring all of the healing to the brokenness. But as it says in Ephesians 5, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself" (verses 25-28).
It is my job to love my wife, and lead her to God. I am to show her that God will protect her and fight for her as I do. I am to show her that God will delight in her beauty and be captivated by her as I am. I can give her but a glimpse of who God is, and that is the role I must play. But before I can lead her to God's strength, I must first recover mine. Before I can point her to God, I must know God deeply and intimately.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
A friend of mine is working on a series of novels. I'm pretty stoked about reading them, and not just because one of the characters who is alluded to in book one and shows up in book two is based on me. It's a story about an epic journey, full of battles and boys becoming men and those men becoming warriors (can't give much more than that, but trust me, you'll want to read them). He would talk with me about the series back when we were in college and as he would describe situations my character faced he'd occasionally ask if I had any ideas.
On this particular occasion we were talking about some battle and I recommended an epic speech. Every series needs to have an epic speech before a battle, it's a rule. I suggested something along the lines of "Freedom is never free. There is always a great price that must be paid for it. Those who are willing, follow me." And then it all begins. (Who else is ready to read these?)
Freedom isn't won by people who sit at home. The beauty is never yours without a fight. "Pretty women endure this abuse all the time. They are pursued, but not really; they are wanted, but only superficially. They learn to offer their bodies but never, ever their souls. Most men, you see, marry for safety; they choose a woman who will make them feel like a man but never really challenge them to be one."
This is one of the saddest realities out there. Boys who have never really become men get to the point where it is time to find a life mate. But because there has been no initiation for them, they have no strength to offer to her. We end up with lonely women left to raise the kids on their own. You have a wife who feels abandoned and who remains in the tower because the one who is supposed to rescue her refuses to. He is in this for himself and doesn't want to be challenged to be something more. And so he marries someone he thinks will make him happy without asking him to rise to a challenge.
These are the guys who can't rise to the challenge. They can't suit up and storm the fortress because they don't know how to. But then there are the guys who won't. They guys who for one reason or another find a reason not to offer what they have. "Why don't men offer what they have to their women? Because we know down in our guts that it won't be enough... This is where many men falter. Either they refuse to give what they can, or they keep pouring and pouring into her and all the while feel like a failure because she is still needing more."
This points to a reality for both them and us. "She needs God more than she needs you, just as you need him more than you need her." I never dated in middle school or high school. In college I dated one girl, and I'm really glad that ended. But as senior year came around, pretty much everyone I knew was either married, getting married, planning on getting engaged, or really seriously dating, and I was single. It was a rough and slightly depressing stage of life. But in that time God and I got close. I got to the point shortly after graduation where I realized that I didn't need a wife, that I was enough in and of myself to be able to do what God had called me to do ministry wise. Now I'll be the first to admit that having my wife makes things so much easier and that I don't ever want to have to do this without her, but before I could marry her, before I could begin to rescue her from the tower, I had to be more dependent up God, and closer to God, than I ever would be to her. And before she could ever be rescued by me, God had to rescue her.
"Do you see now that you can't bring your question to Eve? No matter how good a man you are you can never be enough. If she's the report card on your strength then you'l ultimately get an F. But that's not why you love her - to get a good grade. You love her because that's what you are made to do; that's what a real man does."
My strength comes form God, and so I offer what I have to her, knowing that I can't satisfy all her needs, knowing that I can't bring all of the healing to the brokenness. But as it says in Ephesians 5, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself" (verses 25-28).
It is my job to love my wife, and lead her to God. I am to show her that God will protect her and fight for her as I do. I am to show her that God will delight in her beauty and be captivated by her as I am. I can give her but a glimpse of who God is, and that is the role I must play. But before I can lead her to God's strength, I must first recover mine. Before I can point her to God, I must know God deeply and intimately.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Wild at Heart, Chapter 10: A Beauty to Rescue, part 2
"Just as every little boy is asking one question, every little girl is, as well. But her question isn't so much about her strength. No, the deep cry of a little girl's heart is am I lovely? Every woman needs to know that she is exquisite and exotic and chosen. This is core to her identity, the way she bears the image of God. Will you pursue me? Do you delight in me? Will you fight for me? And like every little boy, she has taken a wound as well. The wound strikes right at the core of her heart of beauty and leaves a devastating message with it: No. You're not beautiful and no one will really fight for you."
The attacks are directed directly at the image of God we bear, what else does the enemy need to take out? If he gets that, he gets it all. I really shouldn't be after reading this chapter as many times as I have, but I'm amazed at the number of women who have been hit. Many of them you'd never suspect, just like many guys who are posers, but in some way every woman has been wounded.
When asked if they will be pursued the answer is "No, I'll call you when I need something." When asked if they are delighted in the answer is, "No, you are here to please me." When asked if they will be fought for the answer is, "No, I am going to use you." This is what happened to my wife before me, and this has happened to many women that you know. So many of them are constantly hit with the message, "you are not desired; you will not be protected; no one will fight for you. The tower is built brick by brick and when she's a grown woman it can be a fortress."
And it is for this moment, this battle, that a man must be a man. He must step up and play his part. He must display the image of God that is his to bear. "She needs a lover and a warrior, not a Really Nice Guy." She needs someone who will love her passionately, something that goes far beyond sex, and who will fight for her no matter what the odds are against him.
Right before my wife and I got together she prayed for guidance, and God gave her a song, "Lead Me" by Sanctus Real. I made her a CD for her birthday with this as the first song. The chorus says this,
Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?
Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone
That is the cry of a woman's heart. She wants, no needs, someone that will stand up and defend her against the attacks that are aimed at her. She needs someone to stand to her right in the phalanx. She needs someone who will love her, who will help her to see her beauty and how captivating she is. She needs someone that will fight for her. Someone who is willing to risk his life to rescue hers. And with this there is a crucial question that ever man must ask himself, "Am I willing to bleed like a warrior for her?"
As I'm writing this I'm being reminded, by God, about how often I fail in this area. How impatient I can be, and how at times I get to the point where I'm sick of fighting and wonder if it's all worth it. But it's at that point that I remember my wedding ring. My ring has groves cut into it across the middle. I picked this ring out to be a constant reminder of Ephesians 5.25, " Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her".
This is the part of the letter that is written to me, this is the part that I am to focus on. My job is to love my wife as Christ loves the church. And how did Christ love the Church? He died for her. He bled for her! "The number one problem between men and their women is that we men, when asked to truly fight for her... hesitate. We are still seeking to save ourselves; we have forgotten the deep pleasure of spilling our life for another." If I am to truly be like Christ, I must fight for her, no matter how difficult it might get. I must shed blood for her, and when I do, she will nurture my wounds. After all that is part of the image she bears.
When a man refuses to bleed women are left in the tower. "When a man withholds himself from his woman, he leavers her without the life only he can bring. This is never more true than with how a man offers - or does not offer - his words. Life and death are in the power of the tongue, says Proverbs (18:21). She is made for and craves words from him." One of the most crucial ways we fight for her is with our words. Shockingly, this is hard for me at times. Writing is easy for me, but sometimes saying things sound cliche or cheesy, and I really don't want to give that to my wife. But the lack of my words leave her feeling empty and alone. Even though I'm right next to her in the room, my silence is deadly.
"If the man refuses to offer himself, then his wife will remain empty and barren. A violent man destroys with his words; a silent man starves his wife... A man who leaves his wife with the children and the bills to go and find another, easier life has denied them his strength. He has sacrificed them when he should have sacrificed his strength for them. What makes Maximus or William Wallace so heroic is simply this: they are willing to die to set others free."
If we want to be men, we must rescue the beauty. We must offer our strength and shed our blood. The only way for the princess to be rescued from the tower is for the man to offer his strength. When he does she is given new life, and the two of them share in the deepest intimacy possible between two people, again, something so far beyond sex. They share their lives, they join their lives. But only when a man offers his strength and spends himself for the beauty.
"There under the shadow of a man's strength, a woman finds rest. The masculine journey takes a man away from the woman so that he might return to her. He goes to find his strength, he returns to offer it. He tears down the walls of the tower that has held her with his words and with his actions. He speaks to her heart's deepest question in a thousand ways. Yes, you are lovely. Yes, there is one who will fight for you. But most men have not yet fought the battle, most women are still in the tower."
On the front of the CD I gave my wife I wrote four words, "I Am, You Are". I am willing to fight for you, you are the love of my life.
So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?
To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up
I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
The attacks are directed directly at the image of God we bear, what else does the enemy need to take out? If he gets that, he gets it all. I really shouldn't be after reading this chapter as many times as I have, but I'm amazed at the number of women who have been hit. Many of them you'd never suspect, just like many guys who are posers, but in some way every woman has been wounded.
When asked if they will be pursued the answer is "No, I'll call you when I need something." When asked if they are delighted in the answer is, "No, you are here to please me." When asked if they will be fought for the answer is, "No, I am going to use you." This is what happened to my wife before me, and this has happened to many women that you know. So many of them are constantly hit with the message, "you are not desired; you will not be protected; no one will fight for you. The tower is built brick by brick and when she's a grown woman it can be a fortress."
And it is for this moment, this battle, that a man must be a man. He must step up and play his part. He must display the image of God that is his to bear. "She needs a lover and a warrior, not a Really Nice Guy." She needs someone who will love her passionately, something that goes far beyond sex, and who will fight for her no matter what the odds are against him.
Right before my wife and I got together she prayed for guidance, and God gave her a song, "Lead Me" by Sanctus Real. I made her a CD for her birthday with this as the first song. The chorus says this,
Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?
Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone
That is the cry of a woman's heart. She wants, no needs, someone that will stand up and defend her against the attacks that are aimed at her. She needs someone to stand to her right in the phalanx. She needs someone who will love her, who will help her to see her beauty and how captivating she is. She needs someone that will fight for her. Someone who is willing to risk his life to rescue hers. And with this there is a crucial question that ever man must ask himself, "Am I willing to bleed like a warrior for her?"
As I'm writing this I'm being reminded, by God, about how often I fail in this area. How impatient I can be, and how at times I get to the point where I'm sick of fighting and wonder if it's all worth it. But it's at that point that I remember my wedding ring. My ring has groves cut into it across the middle. I picked this ring out to be a constant reminder of Ephesians 5.25, " Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her".
This is the part of the letter that is written to me, this is the part that I am to focus on. My job is to love my wife as Christ loves the church. And how did Christ love the Church? He died for her. He bled for her! "The number one problem between men and their women is that we men, when asked to truly fight for her... hesitate. We are still seeking to save ourselves; we have forgotten the deep pleasure of spilling our life for another." If I am to truly be like Christ, I must fight for her, no matter how difficult it might get. I must shed blood for her, and when I do, she will nurture my wounds. After all that is part of the image she bears.
When a man refuses to bleed women are left in the tower. "When a man withholds himself from his woman, he leavers her without the life only he can bring. This is never more true than with how a man offers - or does not offer - his words. Life and death are in the power of the tongue, says Proverbs (18:21). She is made for and craves words from him." One of the most crucial ways we fight for her is with our words. Shockingly, this is hard for me at times. Writing is easy for me, but sometimes saying things sound cliche or cheesy, and I really don't want to give that to my wife. But the lack of my words leave her feeling empty and alone. Even though I'm right next to her in the room, my silence is deadly.
"If the man refuses to offer himself, then his wife will remain empty and barren. A violent man destroys with his words; a silent man starves his wife... A man who leaves his wife with the children and the bills to go and find another, easier life has denied them his strength. He has sacrificed them when he should have sacrificed his strength for them. What makes Maximus or William Wallace so heroic is simply this: they are willing to die to set others free."
If we want to be men, we must rescue the beauty. We must offer our strength and shed our blood. The only way for the princess to be rescued from the tower is for the man to offer his strength. When he does she is given new life, and the two of them share in the deepest intimacy possible between two people, again, something so far beyond sex. They share their lives, they join their lives. But only when a man offers his strength and spends himself for the beauty.
"There under the shadow of a man's strength, a woman finds rest. The masculine journey takes a man away from the woman so that he might return to her. He goes to find his strength, he returns to offer it. He tears down the walls of the tower that has held her with his words and with his actions. He speaks to her heart's deepest question in a thousand ways. Yes, you are lovely. Yes, there is one who will fight for you. But most men have not yet fought the battle, most women are still in the tower."
On the front of the CD I gave my wife I wrote four words, "I Am, You Are". I am willing to fight for you, you are the love of my life.
So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?
To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up
I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Wild at Heart, Chapter 10: A Beauty to Rescue, part 1
"From ancient fables to the latest blockbuster, the theme of a strong man coming to rescue a beautiful woman is universal to human nature. It is written in our hearts, one of the core desires of every man and every woman." If that is the case, then "Why do most of us get lost somewhere between 'once upon a time; and happily ever after?'
This chapter has hit me hardest to date. I've been married for almost two years, but in reading these pages, again, I've seen so many ways I need to fight harder for the heart of my princess. This is the most crucial part of the battle for me right now, and if I lose this one, I've lost so much. As with any battle, we cannot rush in unprepared or naive. Quite often there is so much more of a fight here than we initially realize. It's not her fault, it's the world we live it.
"We've overlooked two very crucial aspects to that myth. On the one hand none of us ever really believed the sorcerer was real. We thought we could have the maiden without a fight... And second, we have not understood the tower and it's relation to her wound; the damsel is in distress. If masculinity has come under assault, femininity has been brutalized."
This battle is crucial because it is brings us perhaps the greatest reward we could ever receive on this earth, the beauty that all of us long for. Men are strong, powerful and dangerous, it's how God made us, and it is the part of His image He has made us bearers of. But the woman is different. "She embodies the exquisite beauty and the exotic mystery of God in a way that nothing else in all creation even comes close to. And so she is the special target of the Evil One; he turns his most vicious malice against here. If he can destroy her or keep her captive, he can ruin the story."
Think back to Genesis 1 and 2, "Then God said, 'Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.' God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth'" (Genesis 1.26-28).
"Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.' Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.' For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2.18-24).
Man and woman are both made in the image of God. Initially man is formed from the dust of the earth, and in the beginning he bore the full image of God. But here we see that God exists in relationship and community, and since man is made in His image, he is created for that same existence. And so God causes him to fall into a deep sleep, He removes a rib, which in Hebrew is the word tsela`. It is a feminine noun, and refers to God removing the feminine part of His image from man and forming a woman who is now the bearer of half of God's image. It is in marriage, that the two become one, that the halves become whole, and the full image of God is displayed to creation.
This is the last thing the Enemy wants. He attacks the strength of a man so he is unable to fight for the woman. He brutalizes a woman's beauty so that she is locked high in a tower, unable to be rescued. If each half is unable to be what it was created to be, then there is no danger for the whole to be completed. He is working to prevent the full image of God from being displayed, and so his attacks are directed at the aspects of the image we each bear.
If we are to rescue the beauty, we must recover our strength. We must storm the tower, battle the dragon, rescue the beauty, and ride off into the sunset. But this mission will not be easy. Just as we have had to fight to recover our own hearts, that was simply preparation for the battle to rescue the beauty. But rescue her we must, because without her things just are how they were intended to be.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
This chapter has hit me hardest to date. I've been married for almost two years, but in reading these pages, again, I've seen so many ways I need to fight harder for the heart of my princess. This is the most crucial part of the battle for me right now, and if I lose this one, I've lost so much. As with any battle, we cannot rush in unprepared or naive. Quite often there is so much more of a fight here than we initially realize. It's not her fault, it's the world we live it.
"We've overlooked two very crucial aspects to that myth. On the one hand none of us ever really believed the sorcerer was real. We thought we could have the maiden without a fight... And second, we have not understood the tower and it's relation to her wound; the damsel is in distress. If masculinity has come under assault, femininity has been brutalized."
This battle is crucial because it is brings us perhaps the greatest reward we could ever receive on this earth, the beauty that all of us long for. Men are strong, powerful and dangerous, it's how God made us, and it is the part of His image He has made us bearers of. But the woman is different. "She embodies the exquisite beauty and the exotic mystery of God in a way that nothing else in all creation even comes close to. And so she is the special target of the Evil One; he turns his most vicious malice against here. If he can destroy her or keep her captive, he can ruin the story."
Think back to Genesis 1 and 2, "Then God said, 'Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.' God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth'" (Genesis 1.26-28).
"Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.' Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.' For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2.18-24).
Man and woman are both made in the image of God. Initially man is formed from the dust of the earth, and in the beginning he bore the full image of God. But here we see that God exists in relationship and community, and since man is made in His image, he is created for that same existence. And so God causes him to fall into a deep sleep, He removes a rib, which in Hebrew is the word tsela`. It is a feminine noun, and refers to God removing the feminine part of His image from man and forming a woman who is now the bearer of half of God's image. It is in marriage, that the two become one, that the halves become whole, and the full image of God is displayed to creation.
This is the last thing the Enemy wants. He attacks the strength of a man so he is unable to fight for the woman. He brutalizes a woman's beauty so that she is locked high in a tower, unable to be rescued. If each half is unable to be what it was created to be, then there is no danger for the whole to be completed. He is working to prevent the full image of God from being displayed, and so his attacks are directed at the aspects of the image we each bear.
If we are to rescue the beauty, we must recover our strength. We must storm the tower, battle the dragon, rescue the beauty, and ride off into the sunset. But this mission will not be easy. Just as we have had to fight to recover our own hearts, that was simply preparation for the battle to rescue the beauty. But rescue her we must, because without her things just are how they were intended to be.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)