Deal With the Issues

"It came about while Israel was dwelling in that land, that Reuben went and lay with Bilhah his father’s concubine, and Israel heard of it." -Genesis 35.22

At some point one of Jacob's sons takes a liking to Bilhah, the maid that Rachel gave to her husband as a wife to bear children on her behalf. Reuben begins an affair with her, Israel hears about it, but that's all we get. He doesn't deal with the issue. We have no record of him confronting his son. We have no record of anything being done about it. We are simply told that Israel heard about it.

Men, when our children sin and get into destructive behavior we need to deal with the issue. In this family there is a history of just letting things slide and go unaddressed. The actions of the sons go unpunished, at times even unaddressed, by their father. And the more that they get away with, the more they are willing to try.

It began with slaughtering a city. Then it became this event of Reuben's. Coming up there is talk of murdering one of their own brothers. The more things that get overlooked, the bolder they get. And the same is true today.

Men, when we find our children, or anyone we care about, engaging in a destructive activity, whether physically or eternally, we must deal with it. We have been given strength by God to deal with these issues. It is our duty to protect our children. It is our duty to discipline and correct their behavior. Ignoring an issue and allowing it to go unaddressed does neither of them, and by doing this you actually show your children that you hate them.

Don't allow your children to run rampant and destroy their lives. And actually it isn't just their lives they are destroying with their actions, but others as well. If you love your children, biological or not, discipline them and deal with the issues. You might just rescue their soul from hell.

Man up, and deal with the issues.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Give Your Children an Identity

"Then they journeyed from Bethel; and when there was still some distance to go to Ephrath, Rachel began to give birth and she suffered severe labor. When she was in severe labor the midwife said to her, 'Do not fear, for now you have another son.' It came about as her soul was departing (for she died), that she named him Ben-oni; but his father called him Benjamin. So Rachel died and was buried on the way to Ephrath (that is, Bethlehem)." -Genesis 35.16-19

Jacob, now Israel, has been given a new identity by God. He has received his true name, one of honor. We see that Rachel is pregnant, and the time has come to give birth, which would be her last act on earth. As with all of Israel's other children, the mother names her son. With her dying breath she names him Ben-oni, which means "the son of my sorrow". That's the identity that his mother gave him. It's a reminder of shame, and a name of dishonor. How is a boy to grow up with a name like that?

But fortunately for the son, his father has recently received a new identity. He is a new man, and for the first time in his years as a father, Israel names his son. He steps in and names him Benjamin, "the son of my right hand". Benjamin is a name of strength and honor. It is a name with a solid identity foundation. He begins life not with a mark of shame, but of dignity. And that is what can happen when a father steps in and gives an identity to his children.

Men, what identity have you given to your children? This passage is about a son, but the same need is there with daughters. What have you named them? What have you called them and led them to believe about themselves? Have you named them "Ben-oni" filling them with shame? Or have you named them "Benjamin" giving them pride?

Men, you have incredible power over your children. You give them an identity, but the question is what identity do you give them? You can build them up or tear them down. If you have been given your true identity from God, you will build them up. You will help them see who they really are in God's eyes. You will help them see God as a loving father who can be trusted, not as an angry tyrant to be feared.

You will give your children an identity, what will it be?

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Glimpses of the Destination

"Then God appeared to Jacob again when he came from Paddan-aram, and He blessed him. God said to him, 'Your name is Jacob; you shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel shall be your name.' Thus He called him Israel. And also said to him, 'I am God Almighty; be fruitful and multiply; a nation and a company of nations shall come from you, and kings shall come forth from you. The land which I gave to Abraham and Isaac, I will give it to you, and I will give the land to your descendants after you.'" -Genesis 35.9-12

It was decades ago that Jacob set out on a journey, without knowing the destination. At the beginning God appeared to him and spoke, and over the next several years he learned and grew. He's been through a lot, gained a lot, and even gotten a couple of glimpses of where the journey leads.

In the beginning God promised to be with him and give him the land. At the wrestling match on his way back he was given a glimpse of who he really was, his true name, but still had some growing to do in order to get to that point. And now God appears to him and blesses him. God himself changes his name and officially brings him into the covenant.

Men, we are on this journey, and most of the time we don't know exactly where we're going, if we did we wouldn't need faith, but I believe that along the way God will give us glimpses of the destination. We get them to fan the flames that drive us to pursue our dreams and passions. We get them to encourage us to keep doing through the rough times. We get them to help us endure the tedious events we have to do. We get them to help our faith grow and to strengthen our identity in God.

This moment in Jacob's life was not the end of his journey, simply another glimpse of all that God had for him and his family if they remained faithful. The glimpses we get of where God is leading are contingent upon our continued obedience to Him. God can't take us somewhere we aren't willing to follow Him to. And it is important to remember that God is faithful. If we are obedient to Him, He will do all that He has promised and so much more abundantly beyond that.

Along the way we'll get glimpses of where we're going. Grab them, hold on to them, and continue to faithfully follow.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Standard of Righteousness

"Then God said to Jacob, 'Arise, go up to Bethel and live there, and make an altar there to God, who appeared to you when you fled from your brother Esau.' So Jacob said to his household and to all who were with him, 'Put away the foreign gods which are among you, and purify yourselves and change your garments; and let us arise and go up to Bethel, and I will make an altar there to God, who answered me in the day of my distress and has been with me wherever I have gone.' So they gave to Jacob all the foreign gods which they had and the rings which were in their ears, and Jacob hid them under the oak which was near Shechem." -Genesis 35.1-4

Jacob has been on a journey of growth. He was sent from his home to a foreign land and there learned to work. He traveled back when God told him to return home and after wrestling with God, learned to face his fear. Genesis 34 we see him largely passive and inactive, but here in the beginning of chapter 35 we see another change. God gives him instructions, and Jacob follows them.

Think back to Genesis 31, before leaving Laban, Rachel takes the idols from her father's house. Idol worship was a practice that they had grown up with, and to some extent it was practiced within Jacob's household. If it wasn't he wouldn't have had to tell them to put away their foreign gods. Jacob knew the promises that God had made him, and yet he hasn't led his family in whole hearted worship and service to God. He has allowed them to do their own thing.

Maybe this is part of the reason for his sons actions in chapter 34. Maybe Jacob did try to handle the situation correctly, we aren't told what he did. But maybe he had allowed his children too much freedom and they weren't used to their father telling them what to do. But here we finally see Jacob begin to point his family to God, and begin to set the rule for the one his family will worship and serve.

Men, you have a huge influence on the spiritual decisions your children make. Statistics show that children attending church is astronomically higher if dad makes it a priority for the family to go. If he's absent the number drops quickly. God has put you in your family to lead them to Him. Your children are not yours, they are His, and He has lovingly entrusted them to you. It is your job to love them, protect them, and point them back to Him, their true father.

Men, you are responsible for the things that go on in your household. You are to set a standard of righteousness for them to follow. You are to live with a love and passion for God and the way of holiness, and teach this same love to your children. You are to set their feet on the path of righteousness and help them follow God. If you don't then you leave them to their own idols and have failed them.

Men, it is up to you to set the standard of righteousness for your household to follow. Don't fail them.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor