Wild at Heart, Chapter 10: A Beauty to Rescue, part 2

"Just as every little boy is asking one question, every little girl is, as well. But her question isn't so much about her strength. No, the deep cry of a little girl's heart is am I lovely? Every woman needs to know that she is exquisite and exotic and chosen. This is core to her identity, the way she bears the image of God. Will you pursue me? Do you delight in me? Will you fight for me? And like every little boy, she has taken a wound as well. The wound strikes right at the core of her heart of beauty and leaves a devastating message with it: No. You're not beautiful and no one will really fight for you."

The attacks are directed directly at the image of God we bear, what else does the enemy need to take out? If he gets that, he gets it all. I really shouldn't be after reading this chapter as many times as I have, but I'm amazed at the number of women who have been hit. Many of them you'd never suspect, just like many guys who are posers, but in some way every woman has been wounded.

When asked if they will be pursued the answer is "No, I'll call you when I need something." When asked if they are delighted in the answer is, "No, you are here to please me." When asked if they will be fought for the answer is, "No, I am going to use you." This is what happened to my wife before me, and this has happened to many women that you know. So many of them are constantly hit with the message, "you are not desired; you will not be protected; no one will fight for you. The tower is built brick by brick and when she's a grown woman it can be a fortress."

And it is for this moment, this battle, that a man must be a man. He must step up and play his part. He must display the image of God that is his to bear. "She needs a lover and a warrior, not a Really Nice Guy." She needs someone who will love her passionately, something that goes far beyond sex, and who will fight for her no matter what the odds are against him.

Right before my wife and I got together she prayed for guidance, and God gave her a song, "Lead Me" by Sanctus Real. I made her a CD for her birthday with this as the first song. The chorus says this,

Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone

That is the cry of a woman's heart. She wants, no needs, someone that will stand up and defend her against the attacks that are aimed at her. She needs someone to stand to her right in the phalanx. She needs someone who will love her, who will help her to see her beauty and how captivating she is. She needs someone that will fight for her. Someone who is willing to risk his life to rescue hers. And with this there is a crucial question that ever man must ask himself, "Am I willing to bleed like a warrior for her?"

As I'm writing this I'm being reminded, by God, about how often I fail in this area. How impatient I can be, and how at times I get to the point where I'm sick of fighting and wonder if it's all worth it. But it's at that point that I remember my wedding ring. My ring has groves cut into it across the middle. I picked this ring out to be a constant reminder of Ephesians 5.25, " Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her".

This is the part of the letter that is written to me, this is the part that I am to focus on. My job is to love my wife as Christ loves the church. And how did Christ love the Church? He died for her. He bled for her! "The number one problem between men and their women is that we men, when asked to truly fight for her... hesitate. We are still seeking to save ourselves; we have forgotten the deep pleasure of spilling our life for another." If I am to truly be like Christ, I must fight for her, no matter how difficult it might get. I must shed blood for her, and when I do, she will nurture my wounds. After all that is part of the image she bears.

When a man refuses to bleed women are left in the tower. "When a man withholds himself from his woman, he leavers her without the life only he can bring. This is never more true than with how a man offers - or does not offer - his words. Life and death are in the power of the tongue, says Proverbs (18:21). She is made for and craves words from him." One of the most crucial ways we fight for her is with our words. Shockingly, this is hard for me at times. Writing is easy for me, but sometimes saying things sound cliche or cheesy, and I really don't want to give that to my wife. But the lack of my words leave her feeling empty and alone. Even though I'm right next to her in the room, my silence is deadly.

"If the man refuses to offer himself, then his wife will remain empty and barren. A violent man destroys with his words; a silent man starves his wife... A man who leaves his wife with the children and the bills to go and find another, easier life has denied them his strength. He has sacrificed them when he should have sacrificed his strength for them. What makes Maximus or William Wallace so heroic is simply this: they are willing to die to set others free."

If we want to be men, we must rescue the beauty. We must offer our strength and shed our blood. The only way for the princess to be rescued from the tower is for the man to offer his strength. When he does she is given new life, and the two of them share in the deepest intimacy possible between two people, again, something so far beyond sex. They share their lives, they join their lives. But only when a man offers his strength and spends himself for the beauty.

"There under the shadow of a man's strength, a woman finds rest. The masculine journey takes a man away from the woman so that he might return to her. He goes to find his strength, he returns to offer it. He tears down the walls of the tower that has held her with his words and with his actions. He speaks to her heart's deepest question in a thousand ways. Yes, you are lovely. Yes, there is one who will fight for you. But most men have not yet fought the battle, most women are still in the tower."

On the front of the CD I gave my wife I wrote four words, "I Am, You Are". I am willing to fight for you, you are the love of my life.

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor