"Having said all this, we can now speak of falling in love with a woman. We must. For God has said a man's life is not good without her (Gen. 2:18), so no matter how bold an adventurer or brave a warrior, the man is not living as a man should live unless he makes room for a woman in his life. And, in most cases at this stage, it usually is a woman who comes to awaken the heart of a man."
Yes, this stage, as with every other part of the journey, is primarily about God. Ultimately our deepest relationship is to be with Him. But we must remember a key fact; man does not bear the full image of God. In Genesis 1 we read that, "God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them" (verse 27). It is only when a man and a woman come together in a marriage covenant that they form the full image of God. Both halves are unique and incomplete without the other.
I remember my first full time ministry assignment. I had a job in my field, and I was having some good success. I was able to have some adventures, but there was something missing, I was single. It wasn't that I needed a wife, but something was incomplete and I knew she was missing. Battle and adventure can't take the place of beauty. And God Himself said that man shouldn't be alone. We were created for intimacy in a human relationship; oneness that mirrors the relationship God desires with each of us. And it is in marriage that I have learned more about who God is, and how He loves me. And all of those lessons would be impossible without my wife.
"The awakening of his heart is essential if a man would truly love a woman. Look at things from her point of view. What does she long for in a man? Every little girl dreams of the day her prince will come... He pursues her, wins her heart, takes her into a great adventure and love story. And notice - what is the great sorrow of every woman in a disappointing marriage? Isn't it that he no longer pursues, no longer romances her? Life has been reduced to function and problem solving. What she longs for is what you are meant to become."
My wife sees me in ways I don't see myself yet, and she longs for me to be the man she sees. I remember when we first started dating I pursued her like my life depended on it. Two years of marriage, a beating from the Church, and being knocked around by life, and don’t' really feel like a man, and don't feel like I know how to pursue her any more. It isn't her; she's just as beautiful and captivating as ever. I want to be the man she desires, and sees. I want to be the Lover she deserves. There is so much working to destroy this, and prevent this. And this is why it is crucial for a man to be a Warrior first, so that he can endure the battle to rescue her.
"So when it comes to loving a woman, the great divide lies between men as Lovers and men as Consumers. Does he seek her out, long for her, because really he yearns for her to meet some need in his life - a need for validation (she makes him feel like a man), or mercy, or simply sexual gratification? That man is a Consumer... The Lover, on the other hand, wants to fight for her - he wants to protect her, make her life better, wants to fill her heart in every way he can. It is no chore for him to bring flowers, or music, spend hours talking together. Having his own heart awakened, he wants to know and love and free her heart."
Which one are you? I've met a lot of guys who fall into the Consumer group, and a lot of woman who have been consumed by them. Lovers are few and far between. And again, it takes a Warrior to be a Lover. It takes a man who knows how to put his life on the line for something greater than himself. It takes a man who knows how to sacrifice. And above all, it takes a man who is willing to risk everything.
"Of course the stage of the Lover brings with it great pain and suffering, because we are speaking of the heart, and the heart, as we all know, is vulnerable like nothing else. Resilient, thank God, but vulnerable. The heights of joy this stage ushers in are greater than any other, but with them comes the potential for sorrow as deep as the heights are high. That is why he must be a Warrior, and that is why he must find his greatest love in God."
God is constant. Even with a wife who is completely faithful, there is still the separation of death. This past year my wife and I went through a potential cancer scare, and for days I thought "What happens if I lose her?" There will be pain in marriage, its two imperfect people coming together. And there will be pain as a man searches for his wife. And that is why this stage is primarily about God. A man's first, and deepest love, must be God. That relationship shapes all others, especially a marriage.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Showing posts with label Beauty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Beauty. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
The Way of the Wild Heart, Chapter 10: Lover, part 2
"We've heart ad infititum that men are rational beings, along with the supporting evidence that our brains work differently than do women's, and that is true. Spatial abstractions, logic, analysis - men tend to excel in these because we are more left- than right-brained, and the commissural fibers that connect the two hemispheres appear in women in ratios far higher than in men. Women have an interstate uniting both sides of their brains. Men have a game trail. Thus men tend to compartmentalize, a capacity that allows men to handle the atrocities of war, and administrate justice. It also makes them excellent chess players and auto mechanics. And yet ... I don't buy it. Too many men hide behind reason and logic. A man must grow beyond mere reason, or he will be stunted as a man, certainly as a Lover. No woman wants to be analyzed, and many marriages fail because the man insists on treating her as a problem to be solved, rather than a mystery to be known and loved."
Plain and simple, to be whole and complete, we have to embrace something beyond reason. We have to realize there will be things we can't figure out, or even explain. There will be times we will be speechless, and remain speechless. And we have to be ok with the mystery and wonder of the unknown. To some degree, we must lose ourselves in it. There are so many things in life that are beyond understanding, and so many more in faith.
"The Lover is awakened when a man comes to see that the poetic is far truer than the propositional and the analytical, and whatever physiology might say, I've seen it happen in many men." As I read this I kept thinking back to my college Theology class. Back then I wanted to be a pastor more than anything, I wanted to get out into a church and start changing the world. I had a great professor, one of the wisest and most passionate men I've ever met, and yet more often than not, during class I found myself looking out the window at on open field and the woods that surrounded it.
At this point in college I had experienced God personally, and, not meaning to sound proud, in ways many church goers have never imagined. I wasn't really interested in man's study about God; I wanted to know God personally. I would much rather have been out in that field with my Bible than in a class. And if I'm perfectly honest, I don't remember the last time I used anything from Theology class in real life. But the personal experiences I've had with God in the woods, or late night prayer sessions, those are the stories I share.
I'm not saying anything against education or the study of Theology, but again, let's think about which one I've used more, and which one had a deeper impact on me. "For that which draws us to the heart of God is that which often first lifts our own hearts above the mundane, awakens longing and desire. And it is that life, my brothers, the life of your heart, that God is most keenly after."
What would you rather have, a head knowledge of God, filled with words most of the people alive today can't understand, or a personal relationship, rooted in personal experiences with Him? What would you rather your children have? And it is here that we come to perhaps the point of not just the masculine journey, but of life overall. We are to be "not merely a Christian, but something more - a lover of God."
The point of this journey is not for us to be moral men, or really nice guys. We've looked at this countless times over the past few months. No boy aspires to that. But the point is for us to be powerful and dangerous men who passionately love God. Paul said this in 1 Corinthians 16.13-14, "Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love." Power, strength passion. We are to be Warrior poets. This is what God is after.
"I began to realize that he cared for my heart. God was pursuing me ... wooing me. My pursuit of beauty had turned around on me. It had become God's pursuit of me." This happened to me. When I first started college I was like just about every other religion major I've ever met, cocky, thinking I had it all figured out. Fortunately for me, I was one that God go a hold of (sadly not all of them can say this). As I was trying to gain the knowledge I would need to lead a Church, which for me at the beginning was just fine tuning a skill set, God was at work. It took a little over two years, but finally He got through to me. I don't have time to tell the story here, but when I finally woke up, God began to speak to me, and show me things about Him that I never knew a person needed to think about.
"A lover has been awakened by the Great Romancer. At this stage a man's relationship with God opens a new frontier. While in other realms God will remain Father, and Initiator, when the Lover begins to emerge God invites the man to become his 'intimate one.' This is the crucial stage. The danger for the Warrior is that life becomes defined by battle, and that is not good for the soul nor is it true to our story, for there is something deeper than battle and that, my friends, is Romance."
There is a scene from Secondhand Lions that I keep thinking about. Hub, Walter's uncle, is found every night out by the pond on their property, sleep walking. Garth, his brother tells Walter one night that he's "Looking for her. Jasmine." As the story unfolds we learn of the true love, the deep passion these two shared, but Garth refuses to tell Walter what happened to her. One night, out by the water, Walter wakes Hub up and asks him. He tells her "She died. Died in child birth. Her and the baby." Walter, knowing the love the two shared asks, as he fights back tears, "What did you do?" His reply, "I went back to the only life I knew, back to the Legion. For the next forty years there was always one more war to fight. Then I got old and came here. Here I am." Without beauty, there is nothing but battle, and you can only fight for so long. As the movie unfolds we see that Hub is restless, and searching for the next adventure, because there is no beauty in his life.
We were made for love and beauty. We were made for something more than just a head knowledge, ritualistic religion. We were made for a passionate relationship with God. "Ours is a love story. Anything short of it is a Christianity of dry bones."
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Plain and simple, to be whole and complete, we have to embrace something beyond reason. We have to realize there will be things we can't figure out, or even explain. There will be times we will be speechless, and remain speechless. And we have to be ok with the mystery and wonder of the unknown. To some degree, we must lose ourselves in it. There are so many things in life that are beyond understanding, and so many more in faith.
"The Lover is awakened when a man comes to see that the poetic is far truer than the propositional and the analytical, and whatever physiology might say, I've seen it happen in many men." As I read this I kept thinking back to my college Theology class. Back then I wanted to be a pastor more than anything, I wanted to get out into a church and start changing the world. I had a great professor, one of the wisest and most passionate men I've ever met, and yet more often than not, during class I found myself looking out the window at on open field and the woods that surrounded it.
At this point in college I had experienced God personally, and, not meaning to sound proud, in ways many church goers have never imagined. I wasn't really interested in man's study about God; I wanted to know God personally. I would much rather have been out in that field with my Bible than in a class. And if I'm perfectly honest, I don't remember the last time I used anything from Theology class in real life. But the personal experiences I've had with God in the woods, or late night prayer sessions, those are the stories I share.
I'm not saying anything against education or the study of Theology, but again, let's think about which one I've used more, and which one had a deeper impact on me. "For that which draws us to the heart of God is that which often first lifts our own hearts above the mundane, awakens longing and desire. And it is that life, my brothers, the life of your heart, that God is most keenly after."
What would you rather have, a head knowledge of God, filled with words most of the people alive today can't understand, or a personal relationship, rooted in personal experiences with Him? What would you rather your children have? And it is here that we come to perhaps the point of not just the masculine journey, but of life overall. We are to be "not merely a Christian, but something more - a lover of God."
The point of this journey is not for us to be moral men, or really nice guys. We've looked at this countless times over the past few months. No boy aspires to that. But the point is for us to be powerful and dangerous men who passionately love God. Paul said this in 1 Corinthians 16.13-14, "Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love." Power, strength passion. We are to be Warrior poets. This is what God is after.
"I began to realize that he cared for my heart. God was pursuing me ... wooing me. My pursuit of beauty had turned around on me. It had become God's pursuit of me." This happened to me. When I first started college I was like just about every other religion major I've ever met, cocky, thinking I had it all figured out. Fortunately for me, I was one that God go a hold of (sadly not all of them can say this). As I was trying to gain the knowledge I would need to lead a Church, which for me at the beginning was just fine tuning a skill set, God was at work. It took a little over two years, but finally He got through to me. I don't have time to tell the story here, but when I finally woke up, God began to speak to me, and show me things about Him that I never knew a person needed to think about.
"A lover has been awakened by the Great Romancer. At this stage a man's relationship with God opens a new frontier. While in other realms God will remain Father, and Initiator, when the Lover begins to emerge God invites the man to become his 'intimate one.' This is the crucial stage. The danger for the Warrior is that life becomes defined by battle, and that is not good for the soul nor is it true to our story, for there is something deeper than battle and that, my friends, is Romance."
There is a scene from Secondhand Lions that I keep thinking about. Hub, Walter's uncle, is found every night out by the pond on their property, sleep walking. Garth, his brother tells Walter one night that he's "Looking for her. Jasmine." As the story unfolds we learn of the true love, the deep passion these two shared, but Garth refuses to tell Walter what happened to her. One night, out by the water, Walter wakes Hub up and asks him. He tells her "She died. Died in child birth. Her and the baby." Walter, knowing the love the two shared asks, as he fights back tears, "What did you do?" His reply, "I went back to the only life I knew, back to the Legion. For the next forty years there was always one more war to fight. Then I got old and came here. Here I am." Without beauty, there is nothing but battle, and you can only fight for so long. As the movie unfolds we see that Hub is restless, and searching for the next adventure, because there is no beauty in his life.
We were made for love and beauty. We were made for something more than just a head knowledge, ritualistic religion. We were made for a passionate relationship with God. "Ours is a love story. Anything short of it is a Christianity of dry bones."
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Friday, May 31, 2013
Wild at Heart, Chapter 10: A Beauty to Rescue, part 4
Every beauty needs to be rescued, the question every man must answer is, "Will you fight for her?" Will you risk your life to save hers, or leave her to fend for herself in the tower? She must be rescued, and if you refuse to do it, she will look for it in someone else.
Back in college on of my RA's (Resident Assistants) told me something I haven't forgotten, "Too many guys treat the girl like a princess until they get her, then they stop. It's like once they have her they think they don't have to try anymore." When he told me that I knew that I wanted to be the guy who never stopped, sadly I can't say that I haven't.
I don't always treat my wife like the princess that she is, and honestly I hate myself for that. I hate that I've let other things take up the few precious moments we get to spend together. I hate that I am silent and kill her with it. I hate that I get impatient with her. I hate that there are times I haven't fought for her.
"And it's not just once, but again and again over time. That's where the myth really stumps us. Some men are willing to go in once, twice, even three times. But a warrior is in this for good." There is nothing that could ever make me leave my wife. Never once have I thought, "I wish I could get out of this." But there are times I've treated her like I think that way. The times I don't make her a priority. The times I let the chaos of life overwhelm me to the point of complacency. The times when I let my frustration with circumstances come out as anger directed at her. Those are the times I have dropped out of the fight for her heart.
I'm not saying a husband and wife will never fight or argue, that's unavoidable when you bring two people with two decades of separate lives together into one. I'm not saying there won't be times when things come up that demand your attention. But we do have a choice in how we react during these times. Even in those moments it is still possible to fight for her heart. I'm learning how to.
If we rescue the beauty it says so much about who we are as men. "The universe is so vast and so ageless that the life of one man can only be justified by the measure of his sacrifice." Only I can be a husband to my wife and father to our children. My goals and dreams don't matter if it costs me my family. And so the question is what will I sacrifice? Will I give up the princess for myself, or myself for the princess?
I choose her. Yes it does mean the hardships of battle, but it also means her love. That is worth every wound I will receive in the fight. And with her it opens the door to a whole new life of adventure.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Back in college on of my RA's (Resident Assistants) told me something I haven't forgotten, "Too many guys treat the girl like a princess until they get her, then they stop. It's like once they have her they think they don't have to try anymore." When he told me that I knew that I wanted to be the guy who never stopped, sadly I can't say that I haven't.
I don't always treat my wife like the princess that she is, and honestly I hate myself for that. I hate that I've let other things take up the few precious moments we get to spend together. I hate that I am silent and kill her with it. I hate that I get impatient with her. I hate that there are times I haven't fought for her.
"And it's not just once, but again and again over time. That's where the myth really stumps us. Some men are willing to go in once, twice, even three times. But a warrior is in this for good." There is nothing that could ever make me leave my wife. Never once have I thought, "I wish I could get out of this." But there are times I've treated her like I think that way. The times I don't make her a priority. The times I let the chaos of life overwhelm me to the point of complacency. The times when I let my frustration with circumstances come out as anger directed at her. Those are the times I have dropped out of the fight for her heart.
I'm not saying a husband and wife will never fight or argue, that's unavoidable when you bring two people with two decades of separate lives together into one. I'm not saying there won't be times when things come up that demand your attention. But we do have a choice in how we react during these times. Even in those moments it is still possible to fight for her heart. I'm learning how to.
If we rescue the beauty it says so much about who we are as men. "The universe is so vast and so ageless that the life of one man can only be justified by the measure of his sacrifice." Only I can be a husband to my wife and father to our children. My goals and dreams don't matter if it costs me my family. And so the question is what will I sacrifice? Will I give up the princess for myself, or myself for the princess?
I choose her. Yes it does mean the hardships of battle, but it also means her love. That is worth every wound I will receive in the fight. And with her it opens the door to a whole new life of adventure.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Wild at Heart, Chapter 10: A Beauty to Rescue, part 2
"Just as every little boy is asking one question, every little girl is, as well. But her question isn't so much about her strength. No, the deep cry of a little girl's heart is am I lovely? Every woman needs to know that she is exquisite and exotic and chosen. This is core to her identity, the way she bears the image of God. Will you pursue me? Do you delight in me? Will you fight for me? And like every little boy, she has taken a wound as well. The wound strikes right at the core of her heart of beauty and leaves a devastating message with it: No. You're not beautiful and no one will really fight for you."
The attacks are directed directly at the image of God we bear, what else does the enemy need to take out? If he gets that, he gets it all. I really shouldn't be after reading this chapter as many times as I have, but I'm amazed at the number of women who have been hit. Many of them you'd never suspect, just like many guys who are posers, but in some way every woman has been wounded.
When asked if they will be pursued the answer is "No, I'll call you when I need something." When asked if they are delighted in the answer is, "No, you are here to please me." When asked if they will be fought for the answer is, "No, I am going to use you." This is what happened to my wife before me, and this has happened to many women that you know. So many of them are constantly hit with the message, "you are not desired; you will not be protected; no one will fight for you. The tower is built brick by brick and when she's a grown woman it can be a fortress."
And it is for this moment, this battle, that a man must be a man. He must step up and play his part. He must display the image of God that is his to bear. "She needs a lover and a warrior, not a Really Nice Guy." She needs someone who will love her passionately, something that goes far beyond sex, and who will fight for her no matter what the odds are against him.
Right before my wife and I got together she prayed for guidance, and God gave her a song, "Lead Me" by Sanctus Real. I made her a CD for her birthday with this as the first song. The chorus says this,
Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?
Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone
That is the cry of a woman's heart. She wants, no needs, someone that will stand up and defend her against the attacks that are aimed at her. She needs someone to stand to her right in the phalanx. She needs someone who will love her, who will help her to see her beauty and how captivating she is. She needs someone that will fight for her. Someone who is willing to risk his life to rescue hers. And with this there is a crucial question that ever man must ask himself, "Am I willing to bleed like a warrior for her?"
As I'm writing this I'm being reminded, by God, about how often I fail in this area. How impatient I can be, and how at times I get to the point where I'm sick of fighting and wonder if it's all worth it. But it's at that point that I remember my wedding ring. My ring has groves cut into it across the middle. I picked this ring out to be a constant reminder of Ephesians 5.25, " Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her".
This is the part of the letter that is written to me, this is the part that I am to focus on. My job is to love my wife as Christ loves the church. And how did Christ love the Church? He died for her. He bled for her! "The number one problem between men and their women is that we men, when asked to truly fight for her... hesitate. We are still seeking to save ourselves; we have forgotten the deep pleasure of spilling our life for another." If I am to truly be like Christ, I must fight for her, no matter how difficult it might get. I must shed blood for her, and when I do, she will nurture my wounds. After all that is part of the image she bears.
When a man refuses to bleed women are left in the tower. "When a man withholds himself from his woman, he leavers her without the life only he can bring. This is never more true than with how a man offers - or does not offer - his words. Life and death are in the power of the tongue, says Proverbs (18:21). She is made for and craves words from him." One of the most crucial ways we fight for her is with our words. Shockingly, this is hard for me at times. Writing is easy for me, but sometimes saying things sound cliche or cheesy, and I really don't want to give that to my wife. But the lack of my words leave her feeling empty and alone. Even though I'm right next to her in the room, my silence is deadly.
"If the man refuses to offer himself, then his wife will remain empty and barren. A violent man destroys with his words; a silent man starves his wife... A man who leaves his wife with the children and the bills to go and find another, easier life has denied them his strength. He has sacrificed them when he should have sacrificed his strength for them. What makes Maximus or William Wallace so heroic is simply this: they are willing to die to set others free."
If we want to be men, we must rescue the beauty. We must offer our strength and shed our blood. The only way for the princess to be rescued from the tower is for the man to offer his strength. When he does she is given new life, and the two of them share in the deepest intimacy possible between two people, again, something so far beyond sex. They share their lives, they join their lives. But only when a man offers his strength and spends himself for the beauty.
"There under the shadow of a man's strength, a woman finds rest. The masculine journey takes a man away from the woman so that he might return to her. He goes to find his strength, he returns to offer it. He tears down the walls of the tower that has held her with his words and with his actions. He speaks to her heart's deepest question in a thousand ways. Yes, you are lovely. Yes, there is one who will fight for you. But most men have not yet fought the battle, most women are still in the tower."
On the front of the CD I gave my wife I wrote four words, "I Am, You Are". I am willing to fight for you, you are the love of my life.
So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?
To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up
I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
The attacks are directed directly at the image of God we bear, what else does the enemy need to take out? If he gets that, he gets it all. I really shouldn't be after reading this chapter as many times as I have, but I'm amazed at the number of women who have been hit. Many of them you'd never suspect, just like many guys who are posers, but in some way every woman has been wounded.
When asked if they will be pursued the answer is "No, I'll call you when I need something." When asked if they are delighted in the answer is, "No, you are here to please me." When asked if they will be fought for the answer is, "No, I am going to use you." This is what happened to my wife before me, and this has happened to many women that you know. So many of them are constantly hit with the message, "you are not desired; you will not be protected; no one will fight for you. The tower is built brick by brick and when she's a grown woman it can be a fortress."
And it is for this moment, this battle, that a man must be a man. He must step up and play his part. He must display the image of God that is his to bear. "She needs a lover and a warrior, not a Really Nice Guy." She needs someone who will love her passionately, something that goes far beyond sex, and who will fight for her no matter what the odds are against him.
Right before my wife and I got together she prayed for guidance, and God gave her a song, "Lead Me" by Sanctus Real. I made her a CD for her birthday with this as the first song. The chorus says this,
Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?
Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone
That is the cry of a woman's heart. She wants, no needs, someone that will stand up and defend her against the attacks that are aimed at her. She needs someone to stand to her right in the phalanx. She needs someone who will love her, who will help her to see her beauty and how captivating she is. She needs someone that will fight for her. Someone who is willing to risk his life to rescue hers. And with this there is a crucial question that ever man must ask himself, "Am I willing to bleed like a warrior for her?"
As I'm writing this I'm being reminded, by God, about how often I fail in this area. How impatient I can be, and how at times I get to the point where I'm sick of fighting and wonder if it's all worth it. But it's at that point that I remember my wedding ring. My ring has groves cut into it across the middle. I picked this ring out to be a constant reminder of Ephesians 5.25, " Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her".
This is the part of the letter that is written to me, this is the part that I am to focus on. My job is to love my wife as Christ loves the church. And how did Christ love the Church? He died for her. He bled for her! "The number one problem between men and their women is that we men, when asked to truly fight for her... hesitate. We are still seeking to save ourselves; we have forgotten the deep pleasure of spilling our life for another." If I am to truly be like Christ, I must fight for her, no matter how difficult it might get. I must shed blood for her, and when I do, she will nurture my wounds. After all that is part of the image she bears.
When a man refuses to bleed women are left in the tower. "When a man withholds himself from his woman, he leavers her without the life only he can bring. This is never more true than with how a man offers - or does not offer - his words. Life and death are in the power of the tongue, says Proverbs (18:21). She is made for and craves words from him." One of the most crucial ways we fight for her is with our words. Shockingly, this is hard for me at times. Writing is easy for me, but sometimes saying things sound cliche or cheesy, and I really don't want to give that to my wife. But the lack of my words leave her feeling empty and alone. Even though I'm right next to her in the room, my silence is deadly.
"If the man refuses to offer himself, then his wife will remain empty and barren. A violent man destroys with his words; a silent man starves his wife... A man who leaves his wife with the children and the bills to go and find another, easier life has denied them his strength. He has sacrificed them when he should have sacrificed his strength for them. What makes Maximus or William Wallace so heroic is simply this: they are willing to die to set others free."
If we want to be men, we must rescue the beauty. We must offer our strength and shed our blood. The only way for the princess to be rescued from the tower is for the man to offer his strength. When he does she is given new life, and the two of them share in the deepest intimacy possible between two people, again, something so far beyond sex. They share their lives, they join their lives. But only when a man offers his strength and spends himself for the beauty.
"There under the shadow of a man's strength, a woman finds rest. The masculine journey takes a man away from the woman so that he might return to her. He goes to find his strength, he returns to offer it. He tears down the walls of the tower that has held her with his words and with his actions. He speaks to her heart's deepest question in a thousand ways. Yes, you are lovely. Yes, there is one who will fight for you. But most men have not yet fought the battle, most women are still in the tower."
On the front of the CD I gave my wife I wrote four words, "I Am, You Are". I am willing to fight for you, you are the love of my life.
So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?
To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up
I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Wild at Heart, Chapter 10: A Beauty to Rescue, part 1
"From ancient fables to the latest blockbuster, the theme of a strong man coming to rescue a beautiful woman is universal to human nature. It is written in our hearts, one of the core desires of every man and every woman." If that is the case, then "Why do most of us get lost somewhere between 'once upon a time; and happily ever after?'
This chapter has hit me hardest to date. I've been married for almost two years, but in reading these pages, again, I've seen so many ways I need to fight harder for the heart of my princess. This is the most crucial part of the battle for me right now, and if I lose this one, I've lost so much. As with any battle, we cannot rush in unprepared or naive. Quite often there is so much more of a fight here than we initially realize. It's not her fault, it's the world we live it.
"We've overlooked two very crucial aspects to that myth. On the one hand none of us ever really believed the sorcerer was real. We thought we could have the maiden without a fight... And second, we have not understood the tower and it's relation to her wound; the damsel is in distress. If masculinity has come under assault, femininity has been brutalized."
This battle is crucial because it is brings us perhaps the greatest reward we could ever receive on this earth, the beauty that all of us long for. Men are strong, powerful and dangerous, it's how God made us, and it is the part of His image He has made us bearers of. But the woman is different. "She embodies the exquisite beauty and the exotic mystery of God in a way that nothing else in all creation even comes close to. And so she is the special target of the Evil One; he turns his most vicious malice against here. If he can destroy her or keep her captive, he can ruin the story."
Think back to Genesis 1 and 2, "Then God said, 'Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.' God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth'" (Genesis 1.26-28).
"Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.' Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.' For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2.18-24).
Man and woman are both made in the image of God. Initially man is formed from the dust of the earth, and in the beginning he bore the full image of God. But here we see that God exists in relationship and community, and since man is made in His image, he is created for that same existence. And so God causes him to fall into a deep sleep, He removes a rib, which in Hebrew is the word tsela`. It is a feminine noun, and refers to God removing the feminine part of His image from man and forming a woman who is now the bearer of half of God's image. It is in marriage, that the two become one, that the halves become whole, and the full image of God is displayed to creation.
This is the last thing the Enemy wants. He attacks the strength of a man so he is unable to fight for the woman. He brutalizes a woman's beauty so that she is locked high in a tower, unable to be rescued. If each half is unable to be what it was created to be, then there is no danger for the whole to be completed. He is working to prevent the full image of God from being displayed, and so his attacks are directed at the aspects of the image we each bear.
If we are to rescue the beauty, we must recover our strength. We must storm the tower, battle the dragon, rescue the beauty, and ride off into the sunset. But this mission will not be easy. Just as we have had to fight to recover our own hearts, that was simply preparation for the battle to rescue the beauty. But rescue her we must, because without her things just are how they were intended to be.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
This chapter has hit me hardest to date. I've been married for almost two years, but in reading these pages, again, I've seen so many ways I need to fight harder for the heart of my princess. This is the most crucial part of the battle for me right now, and if I lose this one, I've lost so much. As with any battle, we cannot rush in unprepared or naive. Quite often there is so much more of a fight here than we initially realize. It's not her fault, it's the world we live it.
"We've overlooked two very crucial aspects to that myth. On the one hand none of us ever really believed the sorcerer was real. We thought we could have the maiden without a fight... And second, we have not understood the tower and it's relation to her wound; the damsel is in distress. If masculinity has come under assault, femininity has been brutalized."
This battle is crucial because it is brings us perhaps the greatest reward we could ever receive on this earth, the beauty that all of us long for. Men are strong, powerful and dangerous, it's how God made us, and it is the part of His image He has made us bearers of. But the woman is different. "She embodies the exquisite beauty and the exotic mystery of God in a way that nothing else in all creation even comes close to. And so she is the special target of the Evil One; he turns his most vicious malice against here. If he can destroy her or keep her captive, he can ruin the story."
Think back to Genesis 1 and 2, "Then God said, 'Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.' God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth'" (Genesis 1.26-28).
"Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.' Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.' For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2.18-24).
Man and woman are both made in the image of God. Initially man is formed from the dust of the earth, and in the beginning he bore the full image of God. But here we see that God exists in relationship and community, and since man is made in His image, he is created for that same existence. And so God causes him to fall into a deep sleep, He removes a rib, which in Hebrew is the word tsela`. It is a feminine noun, and refers to God removing the feminine part of His image from man and forming a woman who is now the bearer of half of God's image. It is in marriage, that the two become one, that the halves become whole, and the full image of God is displayed to creation.
This is the last thing the Enemy wants. He attacks the strength of a man so he is unable to fight for the woman. He brutalizes a woman's beauty so that she is locked high in a tower, unable to be rescued. If each half is unable to be what it was created to be, then there is no danger for the whole to be completed. He is working to prevent the full image of God from being displayed, and so his attacks are directed at the aspects of the image we each bear.
If we are to rescue the beauty, we must recover our strength. We must storm the tower, battle the dragon, rescue the beauty, and ride off into the sunset. But this mission will not be easy. Just as we have had to fight to recover our own hearts, that was simply preparation for the battle to rescue the beauty. But rescue her we must, because without her things just are how they were intended to be.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
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