Own It

"Judah recognized them, and said, 'She is more righteous than I, inasmuch as I did not give her to my son Shelah.' And he did not have relations with her again." -Genesis 38.26

Judah's caught. But rather than make excuses, or hide in embarrassment, he owns it. He doesn't flee to another city, he straight up says, "She is more righteous than I."

Men, this needs to be our response. We don't like to admit our short falls. We have a fear of being found out as phonies, and we'll do whatever is necessary to prevent that from happening. But if we would be men, we need to man up and own it. We need to acknowledge our shortcomings and our failures. We need to be willing to say, "I messed up, and they are more righteous than I am."

It isn't easy to do. There are consequences that we may have to face, and costs we may have to pay, and probably some humbling that has to take place. But if we would be men, then we must own up to what we've done, or failed to do.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Your Sin Will Be Found Out

"So he turned aside to her by the road, and said, 'Here now, let me come in to you'; for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law. And she said, 'What will you give me, that you may come in to me?' He said, therefore, 'I will send you a young goat from the flock.' She said, moreover, 'Will you give a pledge until you send it?' He said, 'What pledge shall I give you?' And she said, 'Your seal and your cord, and your staff that is in your hand.' So he gave them to her and went in to her, and she conceived by him... Now it was about three months later that Judah was informed, 'Your daughter-in-law Tamar has played the harlot, and behold, she is also with child by harlotry.' Then Judah said, 'Bring her out and let her be burned!' It was while she was being brought out that she sent to her father-in-law, saying, 'I am with child by the man to whom these things belong.' And she said, 'Please examine and see, whose signet ring and cords and staff are these?'" -Genesis 38.16-18, 24-25

Judah's first son had a wife, Tamar, but he was evil and God took his life. Onan, the middle son, had the duty to have children for his brother, but knowing they wouldn't be his, he didn't perform his duty, and God killed him too. Now Judah had a third son, Shelah, and Tamar should have been given to him as a wife, but Judah is afraid for his youngest son's life. Instead of doing what he should do, he sends her home with the false promise of giving her to his son when he is old enough.

Judah's wife dies and he heads to the town to shear his sheep. Tamar hears about it, and knowing she hasn't been given to Shelah, disguises herself as a prostitute. Judah sleeps with her, and gives her his seal, cord and staff, to hold in trust until he sends payment. But she removes the disguise and later it is found out that she is pregnant. As they are about to hand out punishment she produces Judah's items, and he is caught. He sinned against her and God. He knew what was right and refused to do it. When the prostitute couldn't be found he figured he was in the clear, but his sin found him out.

Men, our sins will always find us out. Nothing we can do will erase them, and nothing we can do will fix them. We can move to another church, or neighborhood, hoping to leave our sins behind, but they will eventually catch us. And when they do, we will face judgment for them.

Let us live our lives free from sin. Let us flee from evil and avoid sin at all costs. Let us do what is right always, because sin will be found out. It might not be today, or next week, or even next year. But one day all things will come to light, and sin that has been hidden during life leads to the lake of fire. Your sin will be found out, flee from it, and seek God's strength to live above it.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Do What is Right

"Then Judah said to Onan, 'Go in to your brother’s wife, and perform your duty as a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother.' Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brother’s wife, he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring to his brother. But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord; so He took his life also." -Genesis 38.8-10

We come to Judah's second son, Onan. He gets a little more face time in scripture, but still we know very little about him. But what we do know has valuable lessons to teach us.

We have a duty to perform. In the Middle East during this time if a man died with no children his brother would take his wife and have children for his brother. It was the brother's duty to give children to the wife. And Onan, knowing that they would not be his children wastes his seed so that no children will be born. This act is displeasing to God. Onan knew what he was supposed to do and yet doesn't do it. And so God takes his life too.

In my Bible after this verse I have a note written that says "James 4.17", that verse says this, "Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin." Romans 6.23a tells us "The wages of sin is death". When we know the right thing to do, and we refuse to do it, we sin. And sin results in death. This death could be physical, gradual, or eternal, as we looked at yesterday, but it all results in death.

Men, when we are presented with a choice, let us choose to do the right thing. Onan didn't and it cost him his life. When we choose to do what is wrong, or even simply not to act, the Bible says we sin. May we always choose to do what is right, it will be pleasing to God, and bring us life.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Evil Costs Life

"Now Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. But Er, Judah’s firstborn, was evil in the sight of the Lord, so the Lord took his life." Genesis 38.6-7

We don't know much about Er. We are told that he is the first born son of Judah, that he had a wife named Tamar, and that he was evil in the sight of the Lord, which led to his death. We have very little information on him, but still we can learn an important lesson from his life. Evil costs life.

God hates evil, and He will destroy it. Er was an evil man, and God took his life. We can look at this in three ways. First there is the way of Er, where God literally takes physical life. How evil does a person have to be for God to just take their life because of it? The thoughts, words, and deeds of an individual are so offensive to God that He does not allow them to continue any longer.

Second, God takes the goodness of life from an evil man. I think this happens far more often. Er was unable to enjoy his marriage. He never had the chance of watching his children be born or raising them. He never got to settle down on a piece of ground and work to provide for his family. His wickedness robbed him of the goodness of life. Do your actions drive those closest to you away? Are you gradually losing everything you've worked so hard to attain? Is there evil in your life? God could be taking things from you to get your attention.

Third, God takes the life of the evil man eternally. Sometimes it seems like the worst people get to enjoy the treasures of this world the most. There seems to be no accountability or justice for their actions. They can be evil and get away with it. And it seems that God just allows it to happen. Let me assure you, judgment is coming for them. One day we will all stand before God and give an account of our lives. The evil man will be standing alone and will face the wrath of God. But the man who has sought righteousness we have Christ standing before Him, taking the judgment of God on his behalf.

Men, if you want life, then turn from evil, it brings nothing but death. It could be immediate. It could be gradual. It could be eternal. But no matter how, evil will cost you your life.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Fix or Avoid?

"Now Reuben returned to the pit, and behold, Joseph was not in the pit; so he tore his garments. He returned to his brothers and said, 'The boy is not there; as for me, where am I to go?'" -Genesis 37.29-30

Reuben had a plan. He had had an affair with one of his father's concubines, and his father found out about it. He had lost honor and integrity with his actions, and for some time had been trying to figure out how to regain it. He had made a mistake, gotten caught, and now was trying to fix it. Then one day the annoying little brother shows up and the other brothers decide they have had enough and to off him. At last, the opportunity he's been waiting for.

The first part of the plan goes well. He talks them out of killing him, and Joseph ends up alive in a pit. Now all that's left is to get him out secretly, and take him home. He'll explain what happened, how he saved the life of the father's favorite son, and all will be forgiven. Later he heads back to the pit for step two of the plan, but now the pit is empty. Joseph is gone, and so is the one hope he had of fixing his mistake.

He had a plan that might have worked, but the problem is he needed a plan to begin with. Reuben never should have compromised himself and fallen into the need of a redemptive act. Men, how many times do we try to fix our mistakes? We say something we shouldn't have and we try to apologize. We get caught in the wrong place at the wrong time and we try to make excuses for why we're there, or we throw someone else under the bus to try to save our own skin. We change our environment so that the truth doesn't get found out. We put so much work into trying to fix our faults, instead of putting all of that energy into avoiding them to begin with.

With Reuben, he gave in to a desire for pleasure. He didn't think he'd get caught, but as soon as he does he begins to work on a plan to try to fix it. How many men have fallen into a similar trap and reacted in a similar way? You've compromised your integrity, and truthfully, there is no way for you to undo that. It's like chopping down a tree. One mistake won't topple you, just like one strike of an ax won't bring down a tree, but it leaves a mark that will always be there. Try as we might, there is no way to undo it, the mark will always be there.

Men, we cannot fix our mistakes. We can't take back the words we say. We can't hide from the truth forever. So instead of working so hard to try and fix them, let's put the energy into avoiding them. Let us flee from temptation and evil. Let us learn self-control, and how to tame the tongue. Let us focus on God, and growing in righteousness.

I have been dwelling on Proverbs 3.5-8 for several months now, and when we get there I'll write more on it, but if we would avoid mistakes, this is where our focus needs to be. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your body and refreshment to your bones."

I've used the word "mistake" in this post, but I don't mean the little things like coloring outside the lines. I'm talking about the big things. The things that destroy us. I'm talking about sin. And while sin can be forgiven by God, we have to live with the consequences of our actions, and that means damaged integrity. But if we trust in God and acknowledge Him in all things, not leaning on our own understanding, He will make our paths straight. If we are humble and fear Him, turning away from evil, we will have peace.

Men, let us pour ourselves into avoiding sin at all costs. Let us flee from everything that could compromise our integrity. Once the damage is done, it's impossible to fix it. Reuben's plan didn't work, and neither will your's. Let's not get ourselves into the situation where we have to try to fix it. Rather, let us focus all of our energy on walking the path of righteousness and avoiding sin at all costs.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Life, Protect and Value it

"But Reuben heard this and rescued him out of their hands and said, 'Let us not take his life.' Reuben further said to them, 'Shed no blood. Throw him into this pit that is in the wilderness, but do not lay hands on him'—that he might rescue him out of their hands, to restore him to his father." -Genesis 37.21-22

Joseph's brothers have had all they can take. First it was their father's favoritism, but then Joseph had these dreams that just pushed them over the edge. They take the sheep to pasture, probably relieved to be on the road away from home, and their brother. But Israel wants a report. Again, he cares about all of his children, he loves each of his sons, Joseph is just his favorite, and everybody knows it.

Joseph is sent to bring a report, his brothers see him in the distance and decide to be done with him. They are in the wilderness, no one will know what really happened except for them, and so they decide to be rid of their pesky little brother forever. But then Reuben, the oldest, speaks up, and saves his life.

I have a theory that Reuben is trying to win back some approval from his father after his relationship with Bilhah. What better way then by saving the life of the favorite son? But here we see a crucial characteristic for a man. Men value, and protect, life.

Anyone can take a life, physically or figuratively. It's not hard to destroy someone, people do it everyday without a second thought. But it takes strength to stand up for life. It takes strength to fight for life. It takes strength to resist taking a life. In the first Hobbit movie Gandalf says to Bilbo, "True courage is knowing not when to take a life, but when to spare one."

It takes a man to protect life, and a man does. A man does everything he can to save life. He realizes how precious a gift it is, and he does what he can to give it. Men, let us do all that we can to protect life. Let us speak it into others, and rescue them from those who seek to destroy it.

Life is precious, value and protect it. This is what your strength is for.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Loving Your Children

"Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his sons, because he was the son of his old age; and he made him a varicolored tunic. His brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers; and so they hated him and could not speak to him on friendly terms." -Genesis 37.3-4

Israel (Jacob), like his parents, Isaac and Rebekah, had a favorite child. No doubt he had learned from watching his parents that this was an ok practice and carried it on. His situation is slightly different however. For him growing up there were only two, so each child had a parent who loved them most. Israel has twelve sons and a daughter, so the ratio is thrown off a bit. And two be fair, it doesn't say that he didn't love his other children, just that he loved Joseph more than all of them.

I think this is something that happens a lot more often than people are willing to admit. There is one child that stands apart. Maybe they were the first born, maybe they are the youngest. Maybe they are the only son, or only daughter. Maybe it was a child you weren't supposed to be able to have, your miracle child. Whatever the reason it's clear that they are your favorite, and though you might not see it, the siblings feel it.

My wife made a comment a few weeks ago about how do you love all of your children the same, and I've thought about it a little since then. My answer, you don't, you love them each differently. And by differently, I mean uniquely. Each child is there own individual special being. Each one is different. Each one has different passions and desires. Each one has different gifts and talents. You love your children by loving their hearts. You take an interest in what they are interested in because their heart matters to you. You show them that just being together with them is what you want, even if it involves doing something you aren't crazy about.

I love to hike, camp, canoe, basically anything outdoors. I hate to work on cars, but if I have a child that enjoys it, then I'll learn to do it and enjoy it with them because it's something they enjoy. I'll learn to speak to them in their love language, and each one knows that they are loved and valued by dad for who they are. And had Israel taken this approach Joseph's brothers wouldn't have hated him.

Love your children uniquely in ways that show them you know them and care about what they care about. Make time together the point, showing them you value being with them, even if it's not something you yourself would choose to do. Love them for who they are, and love them all, not just the ones you have things in common with. Love them uniquely.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

What Could Have Been

"Now these are the records of the generations of Esau (that is, Edom). Esau took his wives from the daughters of Canaan: Adah the daughter of Elon the Hittite, and Oholibamah the daughter of Anah and the granddaughter of Zibeon the Hivite; also Basemath, Ishmael’s daughter, the sister of Nebaioth. Adah bore Eliphaz to Esau, and Basemath bore Reuel, and Oholibamah bore Jeush and Jalam and Korah. These are the sons of Esau who were born to him in the land of Canaan. Then Esau took his wives and his sons and his daughters and all his household, and his livestock and all his cattle and all his goods which he had acquired in the land of Canaan, and went to another land away from his brother Jacob. For their property had become too great for them to live together, and the land where they sojourned could not sustain them because of their livestock. So Esau lived in the hill country of Seir; Esau is Edom." -Genesis 36.1-8

Genesis 36 gives the account of Isaac's other son. His family became a great nation, so great that he moved east because he and his brother were both heads of large families and the land could not support all that they had. The brothers part ways, on better terms this time, but the family of Israel takes center stage. We find references to Edom throughout the Old Testament, but this is not the story of the Edomites. But really, it could have been.

Jacob tricked Esau out of his birth right, and then stole his blessing. He stepped in and took over the covenant. He became Israel, and the Bible tells the story of his children. But Jacob was the youngest. Everything he received was meant for his older brother. And you have to wonder, what would have been?

Men, in our lives there are things that could have happened. For one reason or another they didn't unfold that way. I mentioned some of the things that my family history involves in a recent post, and all of those events have led me to where I am now. There have been times I've wondered what life would be like if it wasn't for that initial abandonment and adultery. I wonder if my family could have been like Israel, one with a story worth telling that changes the world. But with everything that's happened, I feel more like the Edomites, lost in the shuffle, and fading into the background in insignificance.

Before we act, let's think about what the long term consequences could be. Let's think about all that we could be giving up, and all that we could be costing our family in the future. Will your actions help bring about a great story that changes the world? Or will they cause your family to sink into obscurity? Do you want them to look back and wonder what could have been? Or to proudly share the story of what was, and is?

You play a huge part in what happens, will it be what is, or what could have been?

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Deal With the Issues

"It came about while Israel was dwelling in that land, that Reuben went and lay with Bilhah his father’s concubine, and Israel heard of it." -Genesis 35.22

At some point one of Jacob's sons takes a liking to Bilhah, the maid that Rachel gave to her husband as a wife to bear children on her behalf. Reuben begins an affair with her, Israel hears about it, but that's all we get. He doesn't deal with the issue. We have no record of him confronting his son. We have no record of anything being done about it. We are simply told that Israel heard about it.

Men, when our children sin and get into destructive behavior we need to deal with the issue. In this family there is a history of just letting things slide and go unaddressed. The actions of the sons go unpunished, at times even unaddressed, by their father. And the more that they get away with, the more they are willing to try.

It began with slaughtering a city. Then it became this event of Reuben's. Coming up there is talk of murdering one of their own brothers. The more things that get overlooked, the bolder they get. And the same is true today.

Men, when we find our children, or anyone we care about, engaging in a destructive activity, whether physically or eternally, we must deal with it. We have been given strength by God to deal with these issues. It is our duty to protect our children. It is our duty to discipline and correct their behavior. Ignoring an issue and allowing it to go unaddressed does neither of them, and by doing this you actually show your children that you hate them.

Don't allow your children to run rampant and destroy their lives. And actually it isn't just their lives they are destroying with their actions, but others as well. If you love your children, biological or not, discipline them and deal with the issues. You might just rescue their soul from hell.

Man up, and deal with the issues.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Give Your Children an Identity

"Then they journeyed from Bethel; and when there was still some distance to go to Ephrath, Rachel began to give birth and she suffered severe labor. When she was in severe labor the midwife said to her, 'Do not fear, for now you have another son.' It came about as her soul was departing (for she died), that she named him Ben-oni; but his father called him Benjamin. So Rachel died and was buried on the way to Ephrath (that is, Bethlehem)." -Genesis 35.16-19

Jacob, now Israel, has been given a new identity by God. He has received his true name, one of honor. We see that Rachel is pregnant, and the time has come to give birth, which would be her last act on earth. As with all of Israel's other children, the mother names her son. With her dying breath she names him Ben-oni, which means "the son of my sorrow". That's the identity that his mother gave him. It's a reminder of shame, and a name of dishonor. How is a boy to grow up with a name like that?

But fortunately for the son, his father has recently received a new identity. He is a new man, and for the first time in his years as a father, Israel names his son. He steps in and names him Benjamin, "the son of my right hand". Benjamin is a name of strength and honor. It is a name with a solid identity foundation. He begins life not with a mark of shame, but of dignity. And that is what can happen when a father steps in and gives an identity to his children.

Men, what identity have you given to your children? This passage is about a son, but the same need is there with daughters. What have you named them? What have you called them and led them to believe about themselves? Have you named them "Ben-oni" filling them with shame? Or have you named them "Benjamin" giving them pride?

Men, you have incredible power over your children. You give them an identity, but the question is what identity do you give them? You can build them up or tear them down. If you have been given your true identity from God, you will build them up. You will help them see who they really are in God's eyes. You will help them see God as a loving father who can be trusted, not as an angry tyrant to be feared.

You will give your children an identity, what will it be?

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Glimpses of the Destination

"Then God appeared to Jacob again when he came from Paddan-aram, and He blessed him. God said to him, 'Your name is Jacob; you shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel shall be your name.' Thus He called him Israel. And also said to him, 'I am God Almighty; be fruitful and multiply; a nation and a company of nations shall come from you, and kings shall come forth from you. The land which I gave to Abraham and Isaac, I will give it to you, and I will give the land to your descendants after you.'" -Genesis 35.9-12

It was decades ago that Jacob set out on a journey, without knowing the destination. At the beginning God appeared to him and spoke, and over the next several years he learned and grew. He's been through a lot, gained a lot, and even gotten a couple of glimpses of where the journey leads.

In the beginning God promised to be with him and give him the land. At the wrestling match on his way back he was given a glimpse of who he really was, his true name, but still had some growing to do in order to get to that point. And now God appears to him and blesses him. God himself changes his name and officially brings him into the covenant.

Men, we are on this journey, and most of the time we don't know exactly where we're going, if we did we wouldn't need faith, but I believe that along the way God will give us glimpses of the destination. We get them to fan the flames that drive us to pursue our dreams and passions. We get them to encourage us to keep doing through the rough times. We get them to help us endure the tedious events we have to do. We get them to help our faith grow and to strengthen our identity in God.

This moment in Jacob's life was not the end of his journey, simply another glimpse of all that God had for him and his family if they remained faithful. The glimpses we get of where God is leading are contingent upon our continued obedience to Him. God can't take us somewhere we aren't willing to follow Him to. And it is important to remember that God is faithful. If we are obedient to Him, He will do all that He has promised and so much more abundantly beyond that.

Along the way we'll get glimpses of where we're going. Grab them, hold on to them, and continue to faithfully follow.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Standard of Righteousness

"Then God said to Jacob, 'Arise, go up to Bethel and live there, and make an altar there to God, who appeared to you when you fled from your brother Esau.' So Jacob said to his household and to all who were with him, 'Put away the foreign gods which are among you, and purify yourselves and change your garments; and let us arise and go up to Bethel, and I will make an altar there to God, who answered me in the day of my distress and has been with me wherever I have gone.' So they gave to Jacob all the foreign gods which they had and the rings which were in their ears, and Jacob hid them under the oak which was near Shechem." -Genesis 35.1-4

Jacob has been on a journey of growth. He was sent from his home to a foreign land and there learned to work. He traveled back when God told him to return home and after wrestling with God, learned to face his fear. Genesis 34 we see him largely passive and inactive, but here in the beginning of chapter 35 we see another change. God gives him instructions, and Jacob follows them.

Think back to Genesis 31, before leaving Laban, Rachel takes the idols from her father's house. Idol worship was a practice that they had grown up with, and to some extent it was practiced within Jacob's household. If it wasn't he wouldn't have had to tell them to put away their foreign gods. Jacob knew the promises that God had made him, and yet he hasn't led his family in whole hearted worship and service to God. He has allowed them to do their own thing.

Maybe this is part of the reason for his sons actions in chapter 34. Maybe Jacob did try to handle the situation correctly, we aren't told what he did. But maybe he had allowed his children too much freedom and they weren't used to their father telling them what to do. But here we finally see Jacob begin to point his family to God, and begin to set the rule for the one his family will worship and serve.

Men, you have a huge influence on the spiritual decisions your children make. Statistics show that children attending church is astronomically higher if dad makes it a priority for the family to go. If he's absent the number drops quickly. God has put you in your family to lead them to Him. Your children are not yours, they are His, and He has lovingly entrusted them to you. It is your job to love them, protect them, and point them back to Him, their true father.

Men, you are responsible for the things that go on in your household. You are to set a standard of righteousness for them to follow. You are to live with a love and passion for God and the way of holiness, and teach this same love to your children. You are to set their feet on the path of righteousness and help them follow God. If you don't then you leave them to their own idols and have failed them.

Men, it is up to you to set the standard of righteousness for your household to follow. Don't fail them.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Dads, Teach Your Sons to be Men

"Then Jacob said to Simeon and Levi, 'You have brought trouble on me by making me odious among the inhabitants of the land, among the Canaanites and the Perizzites; and my men being few in number, they will gather together against me and attack me and I will be destroyed, I and my household.' But they said, 'Should he treat our sister as a harlot?'" -Genesis 34.30-31

Simeon and Levi return, and their father has some words for them. He is upset because of their actions and the possible ramifications they could have on him. But here's the thing, it's all his fault. Jacob didn't act when he should have, and his sons took action because he wouldn't.

I wonder if Jacob might be feeling guilty. He should have acted and didn't. His sons acted, but not in the way they should have. A city is now dead. And Jacob could have changed all of this, had he simply acted. He's the face of the covenant now. God was with him, and would have been with him as he sought justice, and yet he does nothing.

Abraham took action, he led his men into battle to save Lot. Isaac took action as well, he moved on and kept digging wells. And now when it's Jacob's turn, he is silent and does nothing. But when his sons do something he confronts them. It was his place to act and he doesn't do a thing. They took the wrong course of action, and it's his fault.

Men, it's our place to teach our sons how to be men. It's our place to show them how to control their anger and flee from revenge. It's our place to show them that a man comforts the hurt, and seeks justice for the oppressed. It's our place to show them that a man acts, and show them how to act correctly. When we don't we leave them to figure it out for themselves, and without a man to guide them they most likely don't do things the way a man should.

Men, teach your sons to act and show them how. That way when they do they won't make you odious to the inhabitants of the land. They will know what a man is supposed to do, and they will have the courage to do it because they have watched and learned from you. Teach your sons to be men.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Justice or Revenge

"Now it came about on the third day, when they were in pain, that two of Jacob’s sons, Simeon and Levi, Dinah’s brothers, each took his sword and came upon the city unawares, and killed every male. They killed Hamor and his son Shechem with the edge of the sword, and took Dinah from Shechem’s house, and went forth. Jacob’s sons came upon the slain and looted the city, because they had defiled their sister. They took their flocks and their herds and their donkeys, and that which was in the city and that which was in the field; and they captured and looted all their wealth and all their little ones and their wives, even all that was in the houses." -Genesis 34.25-29

The daughter has been violated. The father has failed to act. The sons have stepped up to fill the void. But their desire for justice turns into all out revenge, and with revenge many innocent end up suffering. Justice would have been making Shechem face judgment, but Simeon and Levi take it too far, and slaughter an entire city. Then the other brothers come and loot the city.

Men, there is a big difference between justice and revenge. Justice is served on behalf of the wronged in order to allow all to live together in society. Revenge is based on hatred and has a desire to make someone pay at your own hands. One of them can be done righteously, and the other pulls us off of the path to Christlikeness.

Revenge comes easy. In our world justice is so easily corrupted. The rich can buy off a judge (yes it happens) and the poor are left to themselves. Revenge is something we take into our own hands to make sure the offender pays for what they did. Revenge cannot be corrupted because it already corrupt.

Do you seek justice or revenge? The follow up question, which one requires a man? Justice is standing up for the wronged, and seeking to make society possible. Justice stands up for the truth, revenge seeks your own satisfaction. Justice protects the innocent, revenge hurts the innocent with the guilty. Justice is worth fighting for, revenge is something we should flee from.

Which do you want to pursue?

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Dad, Play the Man

"Shechem also said to her father and to her brothers, 'If I find favor in your sight, then I will give whatever you say to me. Ask me ever so much bridal payment and gift, and I will give according as you say to me; but give me the girl in marriage.' But Jacob’s sons answered Shechem and his father Hamor with deceit, because he had defiled Dinah their sister." -Genesis 34.11-13

First Jacob does nothing about his daughter's rape. And now when he is confronted by her attacker and his father he remains silent. Shechem speaks directly to him and makes a request for her hand, and it is Dinah's brothers that speak up. Where is the father in all of this? Where is "he who strives with God"?

When dad refuses to act, sons feel the need to step up and take on the role that dad has left void. Jacob should be dealing with this situation. But we never see that he comforts his daughter, and not surprising, we don't see him seek justice on her behalf. When dad refuses to play the man, his sons will try. The problem is a boy is not ready to be a man yet, and great damage comes from making him grow up too fast.

The brothers aren't thinking clearly, they are blinded by anger, in this case hatred is probably more accurate. They have a plan to get revenge, their idea of justice, and without a father to guide them in how to properly take action here, bad things are about to unfold.

Men, if God has blessed you with a family, play the man. Protect and comfort your daughters. Lead and guide your sons. Your role is to make the world safe for them with your strength. Your role is to teach them how to live in society. Your role is to lead them into Christlikeness. If you remain silent, they are left to figure it out for themselves. They aren't equipped to be able to do that, that's why God gave them to you. Don't fail them. Play the man.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Daughters, a Precious Gift

"Now Jacob heard that he had defiled Dinah his daughter; but his sons were with his livestock in the field, so Jacob kept silent until they came in. Then Hamor the father of Shechem went out to Jacob to speak with him. Now the sons of Jacob came in from the field when they heard it; and the men were grieved, and they were very angry because he had done a disgraceful thing in Israel by lying with Jacob’s daughter, for such a thing ought not to be done." -Genesis 34.5-7

Here we find a story that is odd to me. Jacob's daughter is raped, and we see him do nothing. His sons are in the field, and instead of doing something he allows them to continue with their task until they return. In some ways there is wisdom in this. The situation is one that would rouse them to anger, justly, but might cause them to act rashly, which may be justice, but may be blood thirsty vengeance.

But when they finally do come in, we see that they are the angry ones, and from what we can gather, Jacob at the most is grieved, but possibly pretty indifferent. We've seen so much growth in his life, and yet now, when he is perhaps needed most as a father, we get nothing from him. And as we'll see later in Scripture, this same response happens again.

The very least Jacob should do is go to his daughter and wrap his arms around her. He needs to comfort her, and love her. And then he, as the leader, needs to seek justice. And I believe that is the order things must take place. I don't know of a good dad who wouldn't be feeling like justice first, I know what my reaction would be, but I don't think it's a good idea to write it out. But we must remember that a young girl has been violated. More than she needs justice she needs comfort and reassurance, and these can only come from her daddy.

Men, let us do what we can to prevent things like this from ever happening. Let us raise daughters to know their value and worth. Let us teach them about the priceless treasure they are, and the captivating beauty they possess. Let us be intentionally involved in the relationships they pursue, guiding them away from the people and situations that lead to this. I'm also a big believer in teaching daughters self-defense, so if need be they can fight off an attacker.

But most importantly let us pray. No matter what we do, no matter how involved we are, no matter what we teach, we simply can't be everywhere, or prevent everything. Sadly, this world is getting worse every minute, but even in this, prayer is the greatest weapon we have. And so I believe every father's daily prayer over his daughter should include, "God, keep her safe from the things I can't protect her from."

A daughter is a precious gift. God has lovingly placed His princess into your life to protect and guide back to Him. Don't fail her. Love, protect, and value her like the treasure she is.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Let it Go

"Then Esau ran to meet him and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept." -Genesis 33.4

Twenty years ago Jacob tricked his brother out of both his birthright and blessing. The last we knew Esau had vowed to kill Jacob as soon as their father died. Jacob fled, but God has told him to return, and has passed the covenant of Abraham on to him. But this covenant has come with the words, "Go back home." Everything has led up to this moment. Finally, after all this time, and all the events, the twin brothers come face to face.

Esau runs to him and embraces him. The two of them reunite, and revenge couldn't be farther from the picture. Esau has let it go. He values his brother more than any birthright or blessing. It's been twenty years since they've seen each other, and the only thing on Esau's mind is making up for lost time.

Men, what are you holding on to from the past? What is so important about this grudge you're holding? Is the revenge you seek really worth it? How many relationships have been lost because of a lack of forgiveness? How many memories have been forfeited because you've clung to the past? How much growth has been stunted because you haven't let it go?

I need to point out, forgiveness does not mean what happened was ok. Forgiveness does not mean that what happened didn't hurt. Forgiveness does not give the person permission to do it again. But forgiveness says I don't hold this against you, and I don't allow myself to be imprisoned by this anymore. God will have justice, don't worry about getting even. But if you seek to become like Christ, holding on to the wrongs against you, or that you've committed against others, will greatly slow you down.

Esau isn't the only one to let it go, Jacob does do. He has humbled himself before his brother, seeking forgiveness and mercy. He doesn't beat himself up over the past, but seeks to reconcile it and move forward. And Esau, who could have taken revenge instead offers the forgiveness that is being sought. They both have let it go.

What are you holding on to? Something that you've done? Something that was done to you? Why can't you let it go?

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Go First

"Then Jacob lifted his eyes and looked, and behold, Esau was coming, and four hundred men with him. So he divided the children among Leah and Rachel and the two maids. He put the maids and their children in front, and Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph last. But he himself passed on ahead of them and bowed down to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother." -Genesis 33.1-3

Jacob sent everyone on ahead, and he remained alone with God. They wrestled, and Jacob was forever changed. Now the time has come to face his brother after twenty years. The trickster may have hid behind the women and children, but Israel, he who strives with God, boldly goes first.

Men, where are you when it's time to face your fears? Are you out in front, facing it head on, protecting those you love? Or are you bringing up the rear? Do you send everyone you know out to take on the battles that are yours to fight? The trickster is a coward who hides in fear when he is unable to deceive his way out of a situation. But he who strives with God is bold and courageous. He is prepared to pay the cost and accept responsibility for his actions.

Which one are you right now? More importantly, which one do you want to be tomorrow? Will you stand up and go first, or hid in back trying to save your own skin? Before Jacob may have hid, but after he has been changed by God he boldly goes first. What will you do?

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Changed by God

"So he said to him, 'What is your name?' And he said, 'Jacob.' He said, 'Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel; for you have striven with God and with men and have prevailed.' Then Jacob asked him and said, 'Please tell me your name.' But he said, 'Why is it that you ask my name?' And he blessed him there. So Jacob named the place Peniel, for he said, 'I have seen God face to face, yet my life has been preserved.' Now the sun rose upon him just as he crossed over Penuel, and he was limping on his thigh." -Genesis 32.27-31

Jacob has endured the night long wrestling match, and is now holding on for the blessing of God. He is asked for his name, and gives it. And here again we see a name change. Jacob "the trickster" becomes Israel, "he who strives with God". He has endured hardship and difficulty, and he has overcome it all. And God changes his name to his true identity. Jacob leaves his encounter with God changed, and bears the sign of it for the rest of his life.

When we get alone with God, we cannot help but be changed by God. Even a life full of shame and deceit can be transformed by God. I've wondered if I should share this, and up until now I've decided not to, but I feel like God wants me to write it here. I'm not going to air out all the dirty laundry, but I feel I need to share a little.

My family name is not something I'm proud of. My family history is full of abandonment, alcoholism, adultery, and unwed parents. Over the past few years I've learned a lot about how the events of the past went down, and I came up with two options. One, I could change my name and start over. With this option I could completely separate myself from everything and create my own family. But as I've thought about it I've realized the heartbreak it would cause to some people I really don't want to hurt, and to be completely honest I don't know that I've always considered this option with the right motives.

That leaves me with option two. I work to bring restoration. I start fresh with my family, and I set the standard for the name Gunsalus. I become the patriarch, and I work to paint a new image, write a new family history, one that is worthy of honor. And when it comes to being a man, option two requires a man.

To do what I know I need to do, I must strive with God. There is so much that I've had to work through, and there is so much I'm working to help restore. I don't want my children to hear their last name and think of all the negative things that I do. My dad told me a few months ago, "All Gunsaluses do is get divorced and have kids with people they aren't married to." But by the grace of God I've already started to break that. And to be fair, my dad has tried to to an extent, he and my mom are together.

If we would change, we must be changed by God. He is the only one who can bring restoration, and if we would find it, we must strive with Him. God wants to restore you, but restoration comes at a steep price. Jesus has paid it, but because this gift is so precious, we must want it as desperately as God wants to give it. We must wrestle with Him all night, and refuse to let go until He blesses us. When He asks for our name we tell Him everything. We give Him the hurt and the shame, but then He does what only He can do. "No longer are you ashamed but honored." Honor comes at a steep price, but the marks we bear are badges of honor. They are hard earned, and symbols of God's restoring touch.

Men, let us get alone with God so that we may be changed by God.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Alone with God

"Then Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When he saw that he had not prevailed against him, he touched the socket of his thigh; so the socket of Jacob’s thigh was dislocated while he wrestled with him. Then he said, 'Let me go, for the dawn is breaking.' But he said, 'I will not let you go unless you bless me.'" -Genesis 32.24-26

Jacob has sent everything he has and all of his family across the Jabbok, and he is left alone the night before he will meet his brother Esau. A man comes to him and the two begin to wrestle. The match lasts all night, and as dawn approaches no one has the upper hand. The man dislocates Jacob's thigh, but Jacob refuses to let go until he has been blessed. How often do we approach God this way?

Men, when was the last time you spent all night in prayer to God? Have you ever? It's amazing how we can spend all night staying up and worrying about something, but never pray about it. How many all nighters have you pulled to study or party? What did they accomplish? What blessing did they bring?

What would happen if you gave up an hour of sleep to pray? What would happen if when you woke up in the middle of the night you got up and began to pray? What would happen if you took one night a month and simply dedicated it to prayer? What if you did one night a week?

When we pray, what if we didn't stop until we heard from God? What if we refused to stop praying until we received the blessing of a word from the Lord? How would that shape and mold us?

This approach to God will have a cost, Jacob would walk with a limp the rest of his life. But the cost is well worth the blessing we receive. When we spend time in intentional prayer to God, when we wrestle with Him, we leave changed. Men, let's make it a priority to get alone with God, as often as we can. Let's be intentional about it. Every day find a spot to read the Bible and pray. This blog can be part of that, take what is found here, read it, and pray about it.

Let's work on finding larger chunks of time to spend in prayer. Let's be intentional about making time, maybe Friday or Saturday night, to spend time wrestling with God, and being made holy by Him. And let's be intentional about retreats with God. One thing I'm hoping to be able to do is take a trip every year, just three days, and get alone in the wilderness with God. Time spent alone by the "Jabbok" to wrestle with God and be blessed by Him.

Men, let's get alone with God.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

I've been blessed with the opportunity to travel to some of the Bible lands. From time to time when I think of it I'll post related pictures that I have.

The Jabbok in present day Jordan.

Hold On to the Promises

"Jacob said, 'O God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac, O Lord, who said to me, "Return to your country and to your relatives, and I will prosper you," I am unworthy of all the lovingkindness and of all the faithfulness which You have shown to Your servant; for with my staff only I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two companies. Deliver me, I pray, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau; for I fear him, that he will come and attack me and the mothers with the children. For You said, "I will surely prosper you and make your descendants as the sand of the sea, which is too great to be numbered."'" -Genesis 32.9-12

The moment that Jacob has dreading, probably for the last twenty years, is now at hand. He has sent servants ahead as messengers with gifts, and they have returned with the news that Esau is on his way with four hundred men. Immediately Jacob goes into survival mode. He splits everything he has into two groups hoping that, worst case scenario, one of the groups will survive.

But then Jacob does something, he prays. He calls on the name of God, and recalls the things that God has said to him in the past, when he first came this way. Then he had nothing but his walking stick, and now he has so much that he is able to divide them into two companies. He acknowledges all that God has done for him up to this point. And now he prays, reminding himself of the promise God still has to fulfill.

Men, what do we hold on to in life? Do we cling to the promises of God more desperately than anything else? Jacob does it right here. He looks first at all that God has done for him. He remembers what God did in the past, and now sees how it has been fulfilled. He sees God's faithfulness to his words, and believes God will fulfill all that He has promised. He is clinging to God's promise as his only hope for survival.

What are you clinging to? What promises has God made? Which ones has He already fulfilled? Have you praised Him for them? What is still left to accomplish? Are you clinging to those with eager expectation? God doesn't forget what He said. Jacob isn't saying these things to remind God, he's saying them to remind himself.

Men, let's constantly remember what God has said. Let's celebrate the things He has already fulfilled. And let us hold on to the promises that we're still waiting for.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Cheated

"These twenty years I have been with you; your ewes and your female goats have not miscarried, nor have I eaten the rams of your flocks. That which was torn of beasts I did not bring to you; I bore the loss of it myself. You required it of my hand whether stolen by day or stolen by night. Thus I was: by day the heat consumed me and the frost by night, and my sleep fled from my eyes. These twenty years I have been in your house; I served you fourteen years for your two daughters and six years for your flock, and you changed my wages ten times. If the God of my father, the God of Abraham, and the fear of Isaac, had not been for me, surely now you would have sent me away empty-handed. God has seen my affliction and the toil of my hands, so He rendered judgment last night." -Genesis 31.38-42

Laban has accused Jacob of stealing his idols. Jacob didn't know Rachel had taken them, but Laban doesn't find them. And after the search Jacob lists all the ways that Laban has cheated and tried to take advantage of him over the years. And Jacob says that had it not been for God, he would have been sent away with nothing. Laban would have milked him for all he was worth and then cast him aside.

Men, this happens a lot, and we see it more and more. We'll read in 1 Timothy 6 that, "The love of money is a root to all sorts of evil" and greed does drive so much of the world today. Companies have set up business so that management gets rich while those who actually do the work struggle to survive.

From this story we see two lessons. The first is don't be like Laban. If you find yourself in management of any kind, take the role of leadership as an opportunity to make the lives of those under you better. I'm not saying that you don't deserve the raise that comes with your promotion, but don't take it at the expense of your employees. There is no reason for a CEO to own seven $100,000 cars if his employees have to work two jobs and still can barely afford to pay the bills and feed their children.

Second, if you find yourself under such a leader endure, and allow God to bring justice. He cares about the poor, and hates when they are taken advantage of. He will be their advocate, and they will have justice. Work hard, and do the best you can. Be worthy of God's vindication.

We live in a world where this happens every day. It's time we take a stand. Let us stand up for the Jacobs of the world, and defy the Labans. Nothing is going to change until we act, and even then it's going to be a long hard fight. Let seek justice for the poor, and always work to make the lives of everyone we influence better. Let us live justly, and cheat no one.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Think Before You Speak

"'It is in my power to do you harm, but the God of your father spoke to me last night, saying, "Be careful not to speak either good or bad to Jacob." Now you have indeed gone away because you longed greatly for your father’s house; but why did you steal my gods?' Then Jacob replied to Laban, 'Because I was afraid, for I thought that you would take your daughters from me by force. The one with whom you find your gods shall not live; in the presence of our kinsmen point out what is yours among my belongings and take it for yourself.' For Jacob did not know that Rachel had stolen them." -Genesis 31.29-32

As I read this I'm reminded of a the story of Jephthah in Judges 11. He makes a vow without really thinking about all the possible outcomes. But we'll get to that whenever we get to Judges 11. Here we see Jacob being confronted by Laban about something Jacob knows nothing about. And because he is so certain Jacob promises death to whoever has done what Laban has accused. He doesn't realize that he has just pronounced death on Rachel, the wife he loves.

Men, how often do speak without thinking? Let's work on that. Yeah, you may not say anything that could cost your wife her life, but how often do the things you say tear her down? How often do we make a promise to our kids that we end up not being able to keep? How many times how you committed to something and not been able to follow through? How many times do we speak without thinking?

Before we speak let's consider what we're committing to. Never let the words just fly, because once their out you can't take them back, and the damage that is done could be very difficult to repair. Sometimes it could be irreparable, like when we get to Judges 11. Think before you speak, it'll save you a lot of trouble if you do.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Faith in the Face of Fear

"Then the Lord said to Jacob, 'Return to the land of your fathers and to your relatives, and I will be with you.'... Then Jacob arose and put his children and his wives upon camels; and he drove away all his livestock and all his property which he had gathered, his acquired livestock which he had gathered in Paddan-aram, to go to the land of Canaan to his father Isaac." -Genesis 31.3, 17-18

Jacob has grown wealthy, and he has a large family, but now his brother-in-laws are angry with him. Even Laban's attitude has changed towards him. His shrewdness has made him rich and Laban's flocks have gotten weaker. And God speaks to him and tells him to go home. Go back to where Esau is.

Remember at their last meeting Esau was planning to kill Jacob after their father dies. Jacob stole his blessing and their mother sent Jacob to Laban to protect him. It's been two decades (verse 38), but who knows what Esau is thinking. That's a long time to stew, or plenty of time to get over it. But Jacob took everything from Esau, and that could be something he won't forget about.

I'm sure Jacob was terrified. He has to get away from Laban, but that means going back to see Esau. Neither option seems that great, and yet Jacob gets his family and his livestock and heads back to Canaan. And he goes because God has reminded him of the promise "I will be with you." And in this he finds faith in the face of fear.

Men, there are going to be times when we're afraid to move forward. The commitment is huge. The risks are intimidating. The outcome is uncertain. But God has said "Go." What do you do then? Your decision in that moment will mold your character. What is your reaction in the face of fear? Will you act in faith, or run and hide?

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Shrewd but Innocent

"So he said, 'What shall I give you?' And Jacob said, 'You shall not give me anything. If you will do this one thing for me, I will again pasture and keep your flock: let me pass through your entire flock today, removing from there every speckled and spotted sheep and every black one among the lambs and the spotted and speckled among the goats; and such shall be my wages. So my honesty will answer for me later, when you come concerning my wages. Every one that is not speckled and spotted among the goats and black among the lambs, if found with me, will be considered stolen.' Laban said, 'Good, let it be according to your word.' So he removed on that day the striped and spotted male goats and all the speckled and spotted female goats, every one with white in it, and all the black ones among the sheep, and gave them into the care of his sons. And he put a distance of three days’ journey between himself and Jacob, and Jacob fed the rest of Laban’s flocks. Then Jacob took fresh rods of poplar and almond and plane trees, and peeled white stripes in them, exposing the white which was in the rods. He set the rods which he had peeled in front of the flocks in the gutters, even in the watering troughs, where the flocks came to drink; and they mated when they came to drink. So the flocks mated by the rods, and the flocks brought forth striped, speckled, and spotted. Jacob separated the lambs, and made the flocks face toward the striped and all the black in the flock of Laban; and he put his own herds apart, and did not put them with Laban’s flock. Moreover, whenever the stronger of the flock were mating, Jacob would place the rods in the sight of the flock in the gutters, so that they might mate by the rods; but when the flock was feeble, he did not put them in; so the feebler were Laban’s and the stronger Jacob’s. So the man became exceedingly prosperous, and had large flocks and female and male servants and camels and donkeys." -Genesis 30.31-43

This second half of Genesis 30 is one I've been thinking about since yesterday. It's an interesting situation. Jacob and Laban agree on wages, and Jacob does what he can to make sure he's getting the most out of the deal. In the margins of my Bible I wrote years ago, "Deceiving again." But as I've been thinking about it I'm not so sure he is. It's not like he's painting spots on the sheep and taking ones that aren't his, he's just doing what he can to help the sheep be born spotted. And he's only doing it with the stronger animals. He's doing what he can to provide for his family.

Men, our role is to be a provider. God has placed us as head of our household, and a big part of that is providing. When my wife was only my girlfriend we were ready to get married. We knew we were supposed to be together, but at the time I didn't have a job that would allow me to take care of her, and even though I had started making payments on a ring, I had told her that I couldn't ask her to marry me until I had a job. My role is to be a provider. And again, this isn't saying that women can't be, but that it's the responsibility God has given to men.

And as I read this section a verse came to my mind from the New Testament. In Matthew 10.16 Jesus said, "Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves." The Greek word for "shrewd" means "wise, intelligent, or prudent". I think this is what we find Jacob doing. Again, he isn't stealing from Laban, just doing what he can to make sure their deal works out better for him. He's being shrewd, but he's innocent.

Men, let us be shrewd. Let us be intelligent and wise. Let's make sure we do all that we can to provide for our families. But let's be honest. We can't be men of God if we cheat, lie, and steal to get ahead. So in our shrewdness we must be innocent. Be shrewd, do what you can to provide for your family. But don't throw someone else under the bus to get ahead, be innocent.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Lead Your Household

"She said, 'Here is my maid Bilhah, go in to her that she may bear on my knees, that through her I too may have children.' So she gave him her maid Bilhah as a wife, and Jacob went in to her. Bilhah conceived and bore Jacob a son. Then Rachel said, 'God has vindicated me, and has indeed heard my voice and has given me a son.' Therefore she named him Dan. Rachel’s maid Bilhah conceived again and bore Jacob a second son. So Rachel said, 'With mighty wrestlings I have wrestled with my sister, and I have indeed prevailed.' And she named him Naphtali. When Leah saw that she had stopped bearing, she took her maid Zilpah and gave her to Jacob as a wife. Leah’s maid Zilpah bore Jacob a son. Then Leah said, 'How fortunate!' So she named him Gad. Leah’s maid Zilpah bore Jacob a second son. Then Leah said, 'Happy am I! For women will call me happy.' So she named him Asher. Now in the days of wheat harvest Reuben went and found mandrakes in the field, and brought them to his mother Leah. Then Rachel said to Leah, 'Please give me some of your son’s mandrakes.' But she said to her, 'Is it a small matter for you to take my husband? And would you take my son’s mandrakes also?' So Rachel said, 'Therefore he may lie with you tonight in return for your son’s mandrakes.' When Jacob came in from the field in the evening, then Leah went out to meet him and said, 'You must come in to me, for I have surely hired you with my son’s mandrakes.' So he lay with her that night." -Genesis 30.3-16

In this first part of Genesis 30 we see family drama. There is the wife giving that we saw with Abraham, and the favoritism we found with Isaac. But what seems to be unique to Jacob is his absence in all of the decision making. His two wives are dictating what he'll do, who he'll be with each night, and even what his son's names will be (more on this later). Jacob is not leading his household as he should be.

Men, we are to be the head of our household. It is our role that God created us for. We are to be protector and provider. We've already looked at how we are to spiritually lead them back with Lot, but this goes beyond that. Fortunately, in America we don't have the issue of polygamy, that would have solved many of Jacob's issues right there, but the man is still the head of the household.

Ephesians 5 says that wives are to be subject to their own husbands. Ephesians 6 says that children are to obey their parents. There is a God created system of leadership that when executed correctly works. This is not saying that men are the only ones in the family with a valid point of view or opinion. But I have to state this because I'm reading a book that points out how today when we say something positive about masculinity it gets turned into saying something negative about femininity. Men talk with your wives and your children. Involve them in the decision making process, but ultimately you are the leader, and you are responsible for leading your household.

Do you want the drama that Jacob had? Then take your role seriously. Lead your household.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Identity Source

"Leah conceived and bore a son and named him Reuben, for she said, 'Because the Lord has seen my affliction; surely now my husband will love me.' Then she conceived again and bore a son and said, 'Because the Lord has heard that I am unloved, He has therefore given me this son also.' So she named him Simeon. She conceived again and bore a son and said, 'Now this time my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.' Therefore he was named Levi. And she conceived again and bore a son and said, “'This time I will praise the Lord.' Therefore she named him Judah. Then she stopped bearing." -Genesis 29.32-35

We find an interesting thought here, Leah, the first wife, the one that Jacob never wanted but got landed with, was unloved. God saw this and had compassion on her giving her children, while Rachel, the favorite wife, was barren. Leah conceives and has a son. She believes because of it Jacob will love her.

How many men want a son? I'll be honest, I do. I want someone to lead and guide on the masculine journey. But as I've thought about it over the past few days I've wondered how many men make a son their source of identity. I think for many it's just that. Men want sons, but why? I think for many it's a source of identity. And this is a problem.

As a father, it is your responsibility to make the world safe for your children. Your strength is there to protect and provide for your family. And yet you find your identity in a new born infant. This is a shaky foundation that can't hold up, because you've put your identity on someone who hasn't found their own yet, and needs you to help them find it.

Where is your identity found? What happens if you never have a son? How do you help someone find there identity when you base yours on them?

Men, if we would be men of God, our identity must be found in Him. And once we have our identity firmly rooted in God, we can help our sons find theirs.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Don't Settle

"Then Jacob said to Laban, 'Give me my wife, for my time is completed, that I may go in to her.' Laban gathered all the men of the place and made a feast. Now in the evening he took his daughter Leah, and brought her to him; and Jacob went in to her. Laban also gave his maid Zilpah to his daughter Leah as a maid. So it came about in the morning that, behold, it was Leah! And he said to Laban, 'What is this you have done to me? Was it not for Rachel that I served with you? Why then have you deceived me?' But Laban said, 'It is not the practice in our place to marry off the younger before the firstborn. Complete the week of this one, and we will give you the other also for the service which you shall serve with me for another seven years.' Jacob did so and completed her week, and he gave him his daughter Rachel as his wife. Laban also gave his maid Bilhah to his daughter Rachel as her maid. So Jacob went in to Rachel also, and indeed he loved Rachel more than Leah, and he served with Laban for another seven years." Genesis 29.21-30

Jacob reaches Laban's house and stays with his uncle. He begins to work for him and they come to agreement on the wages. Jacob will serve him seven years for Rachel, Laban's daughter. The years go by quickly, and they seem like a few days. I can hardly believe my wife and I have been married for three years this August, it doesn't seem like it's been that long. And when the agreed time is up, Jacob asks for his wages. But the trickster becomes the tricked.

Laban has the feast, gathers the people, and a celebration occurs. But that night he brings Leah, the first born and gives her to Jacob. And in the morning Jacob sees what happened. He confronts his uncle, and he says, "Well, this is the way we do things here, so you have to take her." I'm guessing Jacob protested a little, and was pretty angry, and so Laban says, finish the week, then I'll give you Rachel, and you give me another seven years." And Jacob does it.

Men, the lesson we find here is not to settle. I'm not giving you permission to leave your wife, so don't read that into this. But I am saying don't sell yourself short in the search for a wife. Don't marry the first girl you meet. Get to know her, see if she challenges you to be better. Does she enrich your life? Or is she the only one you could get to say yes?

But it's more than just with a spouse. Don't settle for a C average in school. Give it your best, work hard, and do all that you can. Don't settle for the first job that will pay you. Pursue your dream. You may have to work a job you're not crazy about for a while, but don't lose sight of the dream and stick it out because it pays well.

We all have dreams and passions, we all have goals, don't settle for anything less. Pursue them and don't stop. Now again to clarify, there are ambitions that aren't of God. There are drives we have that may take our focus off of Him because they cause us to live for our self. You don't want those, because those too cause you to settle. You're settling for less than God made you to be.

Don't settle in the masculine journey. God created you to be a man of God, don't settle for anything less. Pay whatever cost is required, and reach the destination of who God created you to be. Don't settle.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Ultimatums

"Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, 'Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it.' He was afraid and said, 'How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven.' So Jacob rose early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put under his head and set it up as a pillar and poured oil on its top. He called the name of that place Bethel; however, previously the name of the city had been Luz. Then Jacob made a vow, saying, 'If God will be with me and will keep me on this journey that I take, and will give me food to eat and garments to wear, and I return to my father’s house in safety, then the Lord will be my God. This stone, which I have set up as a pillar, will be God’s house, and of all that You give me I will surely give a tenth to You.'" -Genesis 28.16-22

In my Bible next to this section I have a note written in the margin, "He has conditions for God to meet before he will fully trust Him." Jacob has set out on this journey, and God has appeared to him making him the same promises of the covenant that He made to Abraham and Isaac, and yet for some reason Jacob does not fully trust. Why?

We read and see that the accounts we have of his early life are vastly different from his father Isaac's. We don't see Isaac really living the life that Abraham lived either. There is faith and trust, but the stories just don't compare. And so when the time comes for Jacob to make his decision, he has conditions for God to meet before he will fully trust him. Maybe it's because Jacob is a trickster, and he expects everyone to be tricky with him.

Men, how do you approach God? Is it with the unquestioned faith and obedience of Abraham? God said go where I will show you and he went. Or is it more like Jacob? God said I will bless you and be with you, and his response was, "If God will... then I will trust Him."

Jacob endures a long journey, more than a decade, and in this time God does provide for him and bring him back safely, He promised to after all. But he dealt with a lot because of his conditions. When God makes you a promise do you come back at Him with terms and conditions? How does that affect your relationship with God and with all He might be wanting to do?

I don't want to give God a list of ultimatums that He has to meat before giving him my full trust. I want to simply hear the voice of God and follow Him wherever He leads.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Never Alone

"Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you." -Genesis 28.15

When God makes a promise, He is faithful to fulfill it. God has made us to be men, and He will not leave us until the work is accomplished. If we undertake the masculine journey, we do not do it alone. God created us to be men of God. His plan is for us to discover the passions of our hearts and live from our true strength. And as we seek to really live, He is with us.

Wherever we go on this journey, God is will us. We undertake this with His promise to complete it and initiate us into the men He created us to be. It is His plan, and His desire for us. And if we choose to take the journey, He will be with us every step of the way. We will never be alone.

Jacob began a journey that would mold him into the man of the covenant. He will have his name changed, and watch the promised nation begin. There are hardships and heartbreaks to come, but God is going to be with him through all of it. He fulfilled His promises then, and He will fulfill them now.

God never left Jacob or forgot the promises He made to him. God will never leave us, or forget the promises He has made to us. We are never alone.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Your Choice

"And behold, the Lord stood above it and said, 'I am the Lord, the God of your father Abraham and the God of Isaac; the land on which you lie, I will give it to you and to your descendants. Your descendants will also be like the dust of the earth, and you will spread out to the west and to the east and to the north and to the south; and in you and in your descendants shall all the families of the earth be blessed.'" -Genesis 28.13-14

This is now the third generation of the covenant. God is again introducing Himself as the God of his father Abraham and of Isaac. He again makes the promise, I will give you the land, and your descendants will be like that dust of the earth. Through you and your descendants all the families of the earth will be blessed. Jacob received his father's blessing, but now God is making the covenant with him personally.

Men, no matter who we come from, we must make a decision ourselves. Our parents and grandparents may have faithfully followed God, but that doesn't make a decision for us. God may have blessed them abundantly, but that does not mean we just automatically inherit the same blessings. We must make a choice for ourselves. God will present Himself to us, and the choice is up to us about what we do.

What is your choice? Maybe you come from a solid Christ centered heritage. Will you continue in it? Will you continue to see God work as you build the legacy of your family? Maybe you come from the opposite. Your family name is full of shame and dishonor, and maybe no one knows it but you. The things of God could not have been farther from the focus of your ancestors. Will you continue in that or break it? Abraham came out of a pagan nation and became a blessing to every family of the earth. He broke the cycle when God appeared to him. Will you? What is your choice?

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor