What Is This Blog?

A few months ago as I was working on one of these posts and had written something about raising sons, a question popped into my mind, "What about dad's of daughters?" A few weeks later, my wife asked me a similar question. It's true, when you look at the masculine journey there is an aspect of it that is focused on sons. As men we go through this and in turn guide our sons through the same journey. But as I thought about the question I realized my intention is not about writing a blog on being a better dad. I'm not a parent yet, and so I don't have the experience to speak from. And even when I am a parent that still wouldn't be my intention. Every child is unique, as is every church, and every business. What works in one situation will not work the same way in another. And so I'm not trying to write a blog on being a dad.

That being said, so much of this that I have written does talk about raising sons. In response to my own question, and my wife's, I want to share a link I saw and that my wife shared with me.

http://tarahedman.com/girls-daddies-knew/

It's about dad's and daughters, and though that one article is not as extensive as the two books we've worked through it's as good resource as I can share.

So if this blog is not about being a better dad then what is it? How to be a better husband? How to be a better leader? Sort of, but still no. The purpose of this blog as we move forward (and look back), is simply this, "Man of God... Who God created you to be." This is about us becoming who we were born to be. As we become men of God we're going to be better husbands, better dads, and better leaders. The more we are molded into who God made us to be, the more of Him we will reflect, and the more into Him we can lead others. The more I love God, and learn to be loved by God, the more I can love my wife and children, and in turn be loved by them. And at the same time my family will teach me things about God and His love for me.

The more I become who God made me to be, the better I'm going to be at the things He has called me to do. It's that simple. And so as we prepare for an epic endeavor, let us be focused on who God has called us be, who He has created us to be. Men of God.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

...And Where We're Headed

So what's next? Part of me feels a great sense of accomplishment for finishing these two books, but at the same time I know that it was just the beginning. I know that I personally have grown and healed a lot in the past few months. And yet, there is still so much work to do, I am not a Sage yet. This year has been about laying a foundation that we'll now begin to build on.

Starting January 1, 2014, we're going to begin working through the Bible, looking specifically at how it speaks to men. My plan is to write a post every day. Some days we'll look at a few verses, others might be a whole chapter, again, looking at what the Bible says to men about being men. This was my original though for this blog before I began to write. Beginning in Genesis and working through to Revelation we'll see what the Bible tells us about men.

The journey has begun, let's continue to strive forward.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

Where We've Been...

February feels like so long ago, and this year we've covered a lot of material, and before we move forward it's good to look back at where we've been. They whole those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it thing. If we know where we've been, what we've seen, the foundation we've established, we can begin to build on it.

First we looked at Wild at Heart. A book that unveils the secrets of the masculine soul. In the pages we saw three core desires on the heart of every man.

1. A battle to fight
2. A beauty to rescue
3. An adventure to live

These are the things we long for, these are the things we love in the stories and movies that excite us and capture our attention. Deep down we know that these are the things our hearts long for. God made us in His image, and gave us the heart that desires these things. We were made to join Him in battle against evil. We were created to rescue the beauty of creation. We are invited to join Him in an epic adventure of life to the fullest. And once we have identified the longings of our heart, we can begin to focus our lives on living them out.

And so we come to The Way of the Wild Heart. This is a map for the masculine journey. It outlines the main points along the way, and provides some instructions on how to get there, but largely shows us that we have to live intentionally aware of our surroundings, and in constant relationship with God.

The journey begins with the Beloved Son. It is here that we learn our identity, prized and loved children of God, sons of a strong and loving Father. Here we learn that we are loved, and part of this is being shown discipline and given correction. For the journey to be successful we must know who we are, and whose we are. Identity is the first thing that is challenged, and it is attacked longer and harder than anything else. This stage is crucial, because without this, the journey goes nowhere.

Next we grow into Cowboys. Here the focus is on adventure and hard work. A young man learns about his strength and how to use it. He comes to see that he is powerful, and learns to take risks. At the same time he learns to use his strength to make the world a better place. Rooted in his identity, the Cowboy can begin to explore the world and begins to get swept up in the epic adventure.

Eventually the young man enters the stage of Warrior. He begins to really focus on a cause and learns to fight for it. He learns self-discipline and commits himself to preparing for battle. He develops endurance, knowing that battles are long and hard. The tests of the Cowboy stage have prepared him to join the front lines. He now takes his strength and begins to offer and sacrifice it to save others.

As he grows the young man begins to see that there is more to life than battle, and begins the stage of the Lover. Here he begins to notice Beauty, and learns to have his heart loved and romanced by God. He learns to allow himself to be fully loved, and to fully love. He knows how to fight, and now he learns to find rest and refreshment from battle in the beauty the world has to offer.

And when all of this is transpired, the man is ready to become a King. After he has fought to establish peace and order he returns home to rule. His throne is not his for comfort and luxury, but for serving. He has learned to use his strength for others, and now uses his position to better the lives of those he leads. But more than that, he now focuses on friendship with God. He knows that he cannot be a fully effective ruler without the guidance and counsel of God.

Finally, the older man will step down and hand the throne to a younger King, just as he handed the bulk of the fighting over to younger Warriors. But a good man does not fade into obscurity, he becomes a Sage. Now without the burden of ruling he is able to focus on pouring into younger men. He has a life time of experience and wisdom to offer and assist those who are following in his footsteps. But most important to the Sage is his deep and intimate communion with God. He has time now like he didn't have at any other time in his life, and is able to pour into God, and others, like never before.

This is the map we have, this is what we've seen, and this is only the beginning. Let's journey on together.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

The Way of the Wild Heart, Epilouge: Where Do I Go From Here?

"Don't forget. Don't let this slip away. There is so much set against a man getting the breakthrough he needs in his life, and hanging on to the breakthrough once it comes. We live in a world at war, but much of the battle is so subtle we often don't see its dangers until long after we've fallen prey to them. The busyness of our cultures, the distractions, the way the Church rushes from one fad to the next - all of it comes together to steal from a man the very thing he needs to hold on to. And so I urge you, stay with this. The masculine journey is the central mission of your life."

There has been so much we've gone over this year, and yet we've barely begun to scratch the surface. We've been given a glimpse at the map we are to follow, and even though we find ourselves at different points of the journey, we've just begun to take the steps toward who we were created to be. Stay with this, don't give up, and don't neglect the journey. John suggests re-reading this book, and working through the workbook either on your own or with a group of guys. He mentions Wild at Heart as well. Both of these options are good. And it's important to journey with others. "We're not meant to walk alone."

This blog is here, and in the next few days I'll be sharing what is next now that this study is finished. But there is something essential about a fellowship of men, your own phalanx with your brothers. Guys you can call at 2:00 AM if need be. Guys who can pray for you, and watch your back during battle. Find them, pray that God brings them to you. Find men to invest in you, and men you can invest in.

"Finally, beware the culture of busyness, and its unending craving for 'the next thing.' There are a lot of movements out there in Christendom right now, and they are not all of the same heart. Stay with the journey you've begun here. don't let this slip away. Of course, you know now that my counsel will always first and foremost be, 'ask God.' He knows what you need next. Ask him what he has for you - what friends, what adventures, what battles, what help he has in store. Be intentional. 'Those who are led by the spirit of God are sons of God.' (Rom. 8:14)"

We are His Beloved Sons, brothers, let us always draw near to Him. And may we journey on to become Men of God.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

The Way of the Wild Heart, Chapter 15: Let Us Be Intentional, part 2

"I want to live more of my life like that - awake and keenly aware, focused, patient. Determined, but not grasping. Present in the moment. Intentional... We need to remember something essential to the masculine journey - life does not come easily. Not the real thing, anyway. There is far too much at our fingertips in the artificial world made for our comfort and ease. Cable television and air-conditioning and hiring someone else to fix the sink or do your shirts. The masculine soul atrophies under those conditions. And God would have us become men. If life always came easily to us, we wouldn't benefit from it. The things we value are the things we've paid for. The victories we treasure are from the hardest battles. When life is hard or disappointing, we have a new framework for understanding that, a new orientation. We haven't been forsaken. We are not on our own. This isn't just the way it goes. God is treating us with respect, treating us like men. He has something for us in the difficulty. We need to find out what that is, be shaped and strengthened by it."

If we want to become men of God, we have to work for it, plain and simple. And when we do, we'll appreciate it that much more. When we accomplish it, it's ours. We are going to face hardships and difficulties, but in overcoming them we push through the limits we thought we had. We become men, and come to know we are men. Everything in life is working to keep us from the journey, or stop us as soon as we take to the road, but we must endure, we CAN endure. And as we travel on we come to see more and more clearly, that this life is so much bigger than we ever knew.

"All masculine initiation is ultimately spiritual. The tests and challenges, the joys and adventures are all designed to awaken a man's soul, draw him into contact with the masculine in himself, in other men, in the world, and in God, as Father. I make no distinction between taking a boy or a man on an adventure and, say, teaching that man to pray. The adventure - rightly framed - can be a powerful experience of God. And prayer or Bible study - rightly framed - is meant to be the same. Most boys and men share the perception that God is found in church, and that the rest of life is ... just the rest of life... The tragedy of this is that the rest of life seems far more attractive to them than church, and thus God seems removed and even opposed to the things that make them come alive. But as Christians, we believe God embraces the physical world, that he loves Creation as we do, pronounced it very good (Gen. 1:31), that he speaks through it and uses it to teach us many things. We've lost many boys and men from the church because we've given them an unspeakably boring spirituality, implying that God is most interested in things like hymnals and baptismal founts. We've made the spiritual very small, and sanctimonious, robbed and often effeminate. And yet, most of the stories of men encounter God in the Bible do not take place in church(!)."

Ultimately this is about God. This is about becoming who God created us to be, and coming to know Him in ways that we were created to relate with Him. "We have got to recover the wildness of spirituality - especially masculine spirituality. I say this because I know that many of my readers have done a good bit of time in the church, and they're wanting to know 'Where's the Bible in all this? What about discipleship for boys and men?" The question proves my point - that we have lost both a noble view of the earth and how God uses it to disciple us - meaning, to train, develop, and make holy - and we have lost the wildness of masculine spirituality... Everything I've described in these pages is discipleship."

God created our hearts with the longs we have, and He speaks to us in ways that are unique to each of us. And God is so much more than who we encounter in church Sunday mornings (if we encounter Him there at all). God invites us to truly know Him, to see who He is through what He has created. He desires to speak to us in ways that mean something to us. Life, and especially the masculine journey, is not about behaving and looking our best. It is about living passionately from a heart of strength that God has given us.

"I want to say as clearly as I can that the goal of masculine initiation is to endow a man with a strength he knows he has, and knows it is for others. Men need to know that life really is found in God. They also need to know that life at its highest is found when we give ours away on behalf of someone else. You want to present a Cowboy with the question "What good can I do? How can I help someone?" It's a good question for a Warrior as well, and by the time he is a King, hopefully it is what life is all about. Power held on behalf of others."

This is what we after, knowing God, finding our strength, and using to better the lives of others. And this is only going to happen if we are intentional. "You see, we must put ourselves into situations that will thrust us forward in our journeys. So much of our daily lives is simply routine, and routine by its very nature is numbing. Get out of it. Break away... God honors our intentionality as men, and while he will arrange for much of the journey, he asks us to take part as well, to engage. Ask, seek, knock, as the Scriptures urge... Though you man still feel very young inside, and at time our Father will be tender with those places, you are still a man and he will treat you like one. Be intentional about your own initiation into masculine maturity, as intentional as you would want to be toward your own sons, as intentional as you hope God is toward you. This is not a spectator sport."

God is going to lead us, God is going to bring the situations, it's up to us to follow and participate. We can't just watch and expect results, we've got to get up and get moving. We have to keep our eyes open and our guard up. We have to be ready and alert for the moments and seize them when they come. It may be difficult, even painful, at times. "At nearly every stage of our masculine journey, something in us needs to be dismantled and something needs to be healed. Often what needs to be dismantled is the false self, the poser, and the approach to life we've created to secure ourselves in the world. What typically needs to be healed is the fear and wounds beneath it, that fueled its construct."

As we become the men God created us to be, we have to have the wounds stitched up, we have to have the false self torn down, and we need to have the enemies lies removed from our ears. As we journey with God, He will replace the lies with truth, the false self with our true identity, and He will stitch our wounds so they heal. There are moments that do this, moments that heal and define us, and "you've got to have those defining moments in your own masculine journey. They may come in a fellowship; they may come alone, in the wilderness. Even the bravest Warrior and the noblest King need to hear words of validation, words of recognition along the way. Not just once, but again and again. Is this not the heart of our Father?"

This is what God is after, and this is why relationship with Him is central to all of this. Without Him, this journey is pointless, without Him there is no journey to take. We need Him. "For our life is a quest, my brothers, arranged by our Father, for our initiation. There are gifts along the way to remind us that we are his Beloved Sons. Adventures to call forth the Cowboy, and battles to train the Warrior. There is Beauty to awaken the Lover, and power on behalf of others to prepare the King. A lifetime of experience from which the Sage will speak. The masculine journey, traveled for millennia by men before us. And now, my brothers, the trail calls us on."

Let us be intentional. Let us take to the road. Let us become Men of God.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

The Way of the Wild Heart, Chapter 15: Let Us Be Intentional, part 1

"You are prized. You are my delight. (This is the theme our journey is also meant to begin upon, and a truth you will need to hear and experience all the days of your life. You are God's Beloved Son.)... the best thing for a man who wants to find himself 'at any given age is to find a story that somehow tells him about himself.' For we are trying to make a difficult and crucial shift, from our all-too-easily-acquired fatherlessness, to the orientation that our lives also are now quests, journeys of masculine initiation."

We must be intentional if we are to undertake this journey. This isn't something that will happen unless we seek it. And as we pursue it, we are going to face fierce opposition. That is why we must begin, and relentlessly hold on to the truth of our identity as God's Beloved Sons.

"Whenever we feel desolate, or abandoned, or simply feel that the weight of the world is once again on our shoulders, it's probably because we've come to doubt God's heart toward us. Best at this point to return to the truth: you are his Beloved Son. That's our bedrock... the enemy is a thief, and you must understand - if you have not already noticed this - his greatest target is simply your joy. That continues to catch me off guard. I always figured his attacks would make most sense around some major evangelistic campaign, mission trip, or breakthrough for the church. Nope. What I've come to see is that the joy and life God wants to bring us are the things most fiercely opposed."

I've felt this a lot over the past year or so. My joy has been attacked, and even stolen at times. I've come to doubt so much, feel that so much was on me, and that God didn't care at all. If the enemy can get us here, then he doesn't have anything else to worry about. What evangelistic campaign is successful when the leaders are gloomy? What mission trip goes well there is bitterness in the hearts of the people going? What breakthrough can a melancholy church have? Without joy, nothing good is going to happen, and that is why the enemy focuses there.

Our journey begins as we learn who we are, God's Beloved Sons. And our journey must begin there because without that there can be no determination to press through. There can be no intentionality without this assurance. This is what Satan is after because without it we won't press on in our journey. We can not let that happen brothers. The phalanx cannot allow a single weak spot, otherwise it all falls apart.

"This is the flip side of forgetting we are Beloved Sons, this ploy of the enemy to steal the Father's gifts from us and so bring us back to the belief we are fundamentally fatherless. You'll want to keep this in mind as you pursue your own masculine quest, your healing and strength, and the journey of your sons or the men you will guide. Heads up, my brothers. It will be opposed, because it will be among your greatest joys. What usually happens at this point - the point when things turn sour, or become suddenly difficult - is that a man just gives up, surrendering the trip, or the relationship. or the dream. Let the Warrior rise in you. It's worth fighting for."

If this journey was easy, we wouldn't have a shortage of men in the world today. This is not for the weak or the lazy. This journey is for men, determined and courageous men. On this journey we will fight our most difficult, and most crucial battles. But if we persevere we will be who we were created to be. And we must remember that this journey is not a solitary one. The phalanx doesn't work with one shield.

"There is just no substitute for time spent together. How else will the bonding take place? This is true of a father and a son, true for the fellowship of men, true for a man and his Father God. Something happens for the masculine soul in the presence of the masculine that happens nowhere else." We cannot do this on our own. We cannot do this without other men. We need our brothers to fight side by side with us. Recently I've seen just how much I need this, and just how difficult it is to have. Life is busy and demanding, and it really doesn't slow down. If this is going to happen, it isn't going to be by accident. We must be intentional about man time. We must guard it.

We cannot do this without God. He is where we find our identity. He is our source of joy. "Jesus enjoyed a relationship with his Father that we crave. Not a stained glass churchy sort of thing, but masculine oneness. They were close, those two, so close that they were One. We were made for the very same thing, and our lives just aren't right until we have it... Jesus want's us to enjoy oneness with the Father... That's what we need, however wonderful church unity might be. We need oneness with the Father... This is the healing of the masculine soul. This is masculine maturity - "mature in this oneness." To be fathered by the Father, loved by the Father as he loved Jesus, to in fact become one in heart and mind with him and with his Son. Until then, we are fatherless, and lost."

This is what we were made for. As I read this morning my mind thought of a scene from Troy. Achilles, the greatest Greek hero, is leading his ship to the beach to begin the attack. He speaks to his men before they land and tells them, "Take it! It's yours!" They storm the beach, and take it. This journey we are on leads us to who we truly are. You are a Man of God, go get it!

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

The Way of the Wild Heart, Chapter 14: Sage, part 5

Throughout this book each stage comes with words on raising that stage in both a man, and in your sons. It carries the idea of resurrecting the stage in a wounded man, and raising our sons up to be men. And so let us look at how we raise the Sage.

"The greatest gift you give to a Sage is to sit at his feet and ask questions... It's important that we ask because often in humility the Sage will not offer until he is invited to do so. It's also important that we ask because quite often the Sage himself is not aware of all that he knows. It is the questions that stir his soul, and memory, as a smoldering fire leaps to life again when stirred. In this way we can help to raise the Sage."

Some of the greatest life lessons I've learned have been from asking questions. And from these questions have come some of the most profound words I've ever heard from men. Remember, a Sage is characterized by his compassion. You can't ask a question they will be annoyed with, and it through the questions that you will begin to tap into all they have to offer.

"Now, for you younger men, don't worry much about this stage, for it will come in due time. When you are young, commit yourself to take as few shortcuts as possible. Learn your lessons. Take note of all that God is teaching you. Submit to the journey. Be a student of the Scriptures. Hang out with the wise, living or dead, for that is how we, too, become wise."

For those of us that fall here, lets focus on the journey. As we progress through the stages we'll get here when it is time. And if we are intentional about the first five stages, this final one will happen naturally. So let's live and learn.

"You fathers of sons - the best you can do to prepare a boy for this stage is to begin the lessons of wisdom. In the woodshop and in the field, in the use of language and even in prayer, show him that there is a way things work. Your initiation will show him that the way of a fool is a fruitless way to live."

Be intentional, and work to initiate your sons. Set their feet on the path of righteousness, and teach them to know, serve, and love God. Be a King they are proud to follow, and one they strive to model. Have them imitate you as you imitate Christ (1 Corinthians 11.1).

"As for you older men, if the Sage has gone undeveloped in you because you didn't take the journey or take not of the journey you have taken, well, you'd better get busy, 'cause times a-wastin'. At this point you haven't years to go back and gather through many experiences all that you need; you have best walk closely with God, let him focus you on what he'd have you learn now. Some of you just need to be a Beloved Son. Or perhaps a Lover. The wisest thing to do is to seek the communion with God that age and large amounts of time on your hands now allow for."

You're still breathing, so there is still time. Use it wisely. Pour into God in ways that you never have before, or maybe haven't for a long time. Allow him to speak to you. There may be things that still need healing, let Him heal. There are still things to learn, let Him teach. God isn't done with you yet, you're still here, so make the most of the time that is left. "The boy knows God as Father, the Cowboy knows God as the One who initiates, the Warrior knows God as the King he serves, the Lover knows God as his intimate One, and the King knows God as his trusted Friend. The Sage has a deep communion with God. This is a man... living on heaven's shore."

"Those of you older men who have been wounded, or dismissed - have you made a vow never to offer again? I have seen something of how painful that can be. Seek the comfort and healing Christ offer. Let your heart be restored, for you are needed. Despite your wounds, I urge you to offer. We need you to offer. Resolve, as Maclean did, to live and to offer."

Don't let your wisdom die with you. Share it because eventually someone will listen. And remember, you are not responsible for what people do with your words, simply to speak them with love. So speak.

Finally, when we come to the end, we must realize that this can be the time of our greatest contribution. We have the chance now, with the responsibilities of ruling passed to another, to simply invest in the lives of others. "Consider yourself a Sage, and ask yourself, 'What would I love to now be my greatest contribution?' Position and power are highly overrated anyway. Let the Kings shoulder those burdens. They are not your identity. What we need is your heart, and the life you've lived. Please - do not fade away... Make yourself available - the questions will arise in time. Offer yourself to a King you know - your pastor, or youth pastor, a missionary serving overseas with whom you can correspond, or a young businessman. Serve on the board of your church, or the local board of education. Take up pen and paper. Tell your story. This is not the time to be feeding geese."

The past few days I've talked about a pastor friend, a Sage I am blessed to know. He's handed the church off to a younger King, but he's still there. Now he's simply free to do the things he's most passionate about. He's investing still, and having great influence. This is a true blessing, both for him, and for others. And this is what we have to look forward to as Sage, the freedom to do something we are most passionate about.

"Father, I need you now, need you to the end of my days. I ask you to raise the Sage in me. Help me to become a man of genuine wisdom and compassion. [For you younger men:] Show me the Sages you have for me, both living and dead. Help me to find them, and sit at their feet. [For you older men:] Show me the men and women who need my counsel, and show me how to pursue them. Speak to me, Father, stir the fire in my heart. Show me what my contribution is now to be, and father me in making it with all my heart."

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

The Way of the Wild Heart, Chapter 14: Sage, part 4

Once again we must look at the wounds a man takes, even in this final stage; for no one, not even the Sage with all of his wisdom, is immune from wounds. And at the same time we must be intentional about developing the heart of the Sage throughout our lives. Again, everything along this journey is leading us to this point. All of the lessons and experiences of this journey culminate in the Sage, and it is from these that he offers wisdom and guidance to others. If we desire to finish well, we must be intentional about developing the heart of the Sage.

"The heart of a Sage goes undeveloped when a man has been a fool for most of his life, either in the form of a refusal to take the journey, or a refusal to take note of the journey he has taken. That man made something other maturity his aim - success, usually meaning pleasure, or safety, meaning the path of least resistance. This is the man who spends his golden years walking his dog or golfing. The fool may have seen many winters, but they do not seem to have had any other effect on him beyond fatigue, or perhaps cynicism. Scripture describes a fool as a man who will not submit to wisdom, a man who refuses to be taught by all that life has to teach him."

It should come as no surprise that if we aren't intentional about the masculine journey, or remain ignorant to it, then when we come to the end we'll be incomplete. It isn't that we won't have things to offer, but it won't be all that it could be. And quite often I believe that they won't be offered with compassion. An undeveloped Sage is frustrated, harsh, and cynical. I would also add selfish to the list. Life is now about them being able to take it easy, and letting the rest of the world figure it out for themselves. Retirement is lived just as the rest of life was. What is in this for me, and how can I make my life easier and more comfortable?

"Sadly, there are many aged fools, as anyone who has spent time in Congress, or the university, or in the bowels of religious bureaucracies knows. Gray hair does not a Sage make. No doubt you have experienced that by now." If we don't wish to join them, then we had better be intentional about this journey while we have the chance. Let us not neglect everything the Father is trying teach us and develop in us. There have been many who haven't fallen here. Many men have taken the journey, but I think part of the reason that initiation has been lost over the last few generations is because we haven't listened to the wisdom of our Sages.

"The heart of the Sage is wounded when he is dismissed as a has been, too old to have anything to offer." How many Sages have tried to offer wisdom over the years and been ignored because the youth have seen them as irrelevant and out dated? How much wisdom has been lost because we have reused to soak it up when it has been freely offered? How many Sages have we wounded with our arrogance and ignorance?

"We need more men around who have lived through yesterday, seen it, and eve if they haven't conquered it, they have learned from it. Young Warriors will sometimes dismiss the older men in their lives because those men no longer year for battle, or simply because they don't come from 'my generation.'" Now let me say something that has come to mind. Not every idea the older generation has is wise and useful. Those who live in the past, and want everything to go back to the way it was are those who haven't taken the journey. They do great damage and prevent a lot of good work from happening because it's different. That isn't what a Sage does. A Sage is wise enough to know that things change over time, and he is there to offer his guidance and lessons learned to young Warriors fighting the same battle in a new way.

It is crucial that the Warriors remember that the Sage has done his part in fighting, and now offers what he is able to, to those who are strong enough to carry the sword into combat. And we must also remember that the Sage may see a way around battle. He's learned that war is a terrible thing, and should be avoided at all costs. If there is a way for diplomacy, he will look for it, and try to resolve it that way. But he also knows that we live in a world of war and that some battles are unavoidable. He offers his wisdom on how to fight. It is crucial that we listen so that we don't needlessly waste time and resources.

"Insecure Kings often dismiss the older men around them, send them into early retirement, threatened because the older men know more than they do. And our culture in the progressive West has dismissed the elderly for years now, because we have worshiped adolescence. Our hears are the young and handsome... We've worshiped adolescences because we don't want to grow up, don't want to pay the price of maturity. That is why we have a world now of uninitiated men. Thus the heart of the Sage is wounded when he is dismissed, or sent into exile, or Scottsdale, which is pretty much the same. No one seems to want what he has to offer, and he comes to believe after a time that it is because he has nothing to offer."

If we would live the journey this wouldn't happen. Kings would not be insecure, and they would know that the Sage no longer desires to rule. The King would gladly accept his guidance, and his help, in initiating others in the kingdom. We must realize that growing older is inevitable, and that with age comes the opportunity for great wisdom. We must stop placing burdens on young shoulders, not ready to bear them, and instead look to the wise and mature for guidance. And we must never make the arrogant mistake of dismissing the wisdom of the Sage. They have so much to offer, but we must be humble enough to realize and accept it. For if we continue to push them away, we will continue in the downward spiral we have fallen into.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

The Way of the Wild Heart, Chapter 14: Sage, part 3

"We live now in a culture of expertise, so completely second nature to us that we don't give it a second thought... It's become one of our shared assumptions, this reach to 'find the expert,' and I wonder if it's part of the reason we do not understand or recognize a true Sage. In business circles experts are sometimes even called sages. They are worlds apart. A Sage differs from an expert the way a Lover differs from an engineer. To begin with, expertise quite often has nothing to do with walking with God, may in fact lead us farther from him. For the expertise of the specialist gives us the settled assurance that he has matters under control, and that we will also, as soon as we put our trust in him. That is why we love him."

Typing that brought Proverbs 3.5-8 to mind, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your body and refreshment to your bones." Expertise naturally leans on its own understanding. It's worked and studied hard, sacrificed so much to be educated (not that education is bad in any stretch of the imagination). It gives one an arrogance, no matter how subtle it might be. Faith is buried under reason and logic, and what need is there for God?

But in the Sage we see the opposite. We see wisdom, gained over a lifetime of learning and growing. I was going to say that there is a sort of expertise, but I don't feel that's the right word. The Sage doesn't rely upon his own wisdom, but up God who has enlightened him with it over a lifetime. And everything that comes out of the Sage's mouth is meant to draw us closer to God. Faith surpasses everything, there is nothing but trust in the Lord. You're witnessing a life that has been lived with God. A life that has watched Him come through time and time again, over and above what was ever imagined. The Sage knows God deeply and personally, and never takes credit or glory for himself. This is what we should be seeking when we need advice and counsel.

"Now of course, there is nothing wrong with expertise - per se. I'd be the first one to find the best heart surgeon in the country should my son need heart surgery. And yet, why is it that we seem to have so few Sages in our midst, that most of us have witnessed the Sage only in stories like those I've recounted? Is it that they don't exist, or might it be that our near-worship of expertise has pushed the Sage to the sidelines?... Given mankind's inexplicable reluctance to rely on God, and nearly limitless ability to rely on anything else, can you see how the culture of expertise actually plays right into our godlessness, despite all our protestations to the contrary?"

The more intellectual we become, the less we tend to rely upon God. The less we feel we need Him.

"The Sage, on the other hand, communes with God - an existence entirely different from and utterly superior to the life of the expert. Whatever counsel he offers, he draws you to God, not to experiences, and that wisdom is one of his great offerings. But he has learned not to lean upon his wisdom, knowing that often God is asking things of us that seem counterintuitive, and thus his wisdom (and expertise) are fully submitted to his God. Humility might be one of the great dividing lines between the expert and the Sage, for the Sage doesn't think he is one. 'Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him' (Prov. 26:12 NIV). thus we might not know we have a Sage at the table, for he will remain silent while the 'experts' prattle on and on."

The Sage doesn't seek to advance himself. He doesn't need to make his voice heard, but we desperately need him to speak. His humble offerings of wisdom contain the words of life that we need to hear. His experience through the decades allow us to see that God is always at work, and that He always provides for His children. In the Sage we begin to see that God can be trusted, and that He will never abandon us. In the life of the Sage we see the promises of Scripture lived out. "The experts impress. The Sage draws us to God. He offers a gift of presence, the richness of a soul that has lived long with God."

Oh that we all would have someone like this. "To sit with a man who has walked with God some seventy-plus years, to be in the presence of a father, to have the eyes of a wise and gracious man fixed upon you, to have his heart willingly offer you affirmation and counsel - that is a sort of food the soul of a man craves... I hope you have had the opportunity to sit in the presence of a genuine Sage, for then you will know that there is an indescribable something that a seasoned man brings with his presence. It's more than just wisdom, much more than expertise. It is the weight of many winters." We only become a Sage by living life with God, for it is only then that we have something truly worth offering, and a heart that is able to offer it. This is where the journey we are on is taking us.

"There is something a man who has lived a full life carries with him that cannot be learned form a younger source, however smart that source might be. The wealth of experience is part of it, an essential part. But I think you'll notice that rue Sages offer the wisdom they've gained through experience with a sort of humility and tenderness, a graciousness I believe is best described as compassion."

A few months ago I was talking with the pastor friend I wrote about yesterday. I was telling him something about the thought I had to get back into professional ministry. He graciously listened to me, and then began to probe a little. Gradually the conversation moved from what I was thinking to the real issues at hand. He began to speak words I desperately needed to hear. I'm blessed to know this Sage. He's wise enough to be able to see beyond what you're saying, but compassionate enough to speak in a way that didn't make me feel like a failure. That is what a Sage does. They speak the truth we need to hear, but in a way that inspires us, not crushes us. You see, the Sage has no agenda, he really just wants to see others succeed. He simply wants them to find all that God has for them. He desires that they come to know God as he has.

"It is a matter of presence. A Sage does not have to be heard, as a Warrior might, does not have to rule, as a King might. There is room in his presence for who you are and where you are. There is understanding. He has no agenda, and nothing now to lose. What he offers, he offers with kindness, and discretion, knowing by instinct those who have ears to hear, and those who don't. Thus his words are offered in the right measure, at the right time, to the right person. He will not trouble you with things you do not need to know, nor burden you with things that are not yet yours to bear, not embarrass you with exposure for shortcomings you are not ready yet to overcome, even though he sees all of that. For he is wise and compassionate."

Oh that we all would find such a man. How many are out there that we have ignored or pushed aside as old and irrelevant? Let us never take them for granted, for when we do, we wound them deeply.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

The Way of the Wild Heart, Chapter 14: Sage, part 2

"Too many men are far too willing to offer their thoughts on subjects in which they have no real personal experience - especially experiences of God - and their 'wisdom' is not grounded in reality. It is theory, at best, more likely speculation, untested and unproven. At its worst, it amounts to stolen ideas. Such clutter fills the shelves of most bookstores. The Sage, on the other hand, knows of what he speaks, for he speaks from his experience, from a vast reservoir of self-discovery."

There is a big difference between knowledge and wisdom. It is possible, and common, to have knowledge without wisdom, and a Sage needs to be wise. Knowledge only goes so far, but wisdom allows you to think outside the box, and pick up the things that knowledge neglected. If a man has journeyed through the stages, then his wisdom will be seen, because he has lived a life that is full of experience and encounters with God.

"I would place the stage of the Sage as beginning in the waning years of the King, sometime between the ages of sixty and seventy. There comes a time when the King must yield the throne. This does not mean failure. It means it's time be become a Sage, and let another man be King. Too many Kings hold on to their thrones too long, and they literally fade away once they have lost them (which tells us they were drawing too much of their identity from their position). It will appear that at this stage a man's 'kingdom' may be shrinking - he retires from his career position, perhaps moves into a smaller home or apartment, lives on a fixed income. But his influence should actually increase. This is not the time to move to Ft. Lauderdale... For now the man is a mentor to the men who are shaping history."

I've had the opportunity to witness a transition like this. Almost thirty years ago a man moved to North East Ohio to plant a church. In that time the church grew to over 2,000 attenders at weekend services. He had done a great work for the Kingdom, but one thing that always amazed me about him was his humility and God dependence. At the end of every blog I put the phrase "To God alone be the Glory!" which is something I picked up from him.

A few years ago he began to talk about handing the leadership of the church over to a younger man. They searched, and when they found the right pastor, they had him come and over the next almost two years began a transition of leadership. In September 2012 the pastor fully handed leadership over. But the best part of the story is that he didn't leave the church, his role simply changed. He now focuses primarily on Leadership development and missions. He moved from King to Sage, and has continued to work for the Kingdom.

I am privileged to know this man. He knew that God had used him to do a great work, but didn't want to slow the work down, or bring it to a halt, by clinging to his position past his point of effectiveness, a mistake many have made. His validation didn't come from his status as pastor of a mega-church, but from his relationship with the Father. And when his time of leadership came to and end, he didn't retreat to a life of ease. Just as a King must hand a majority of the fighting over to younger Warriors, a Sage must hand the majority of leadership over to a younger King. But, at the same time, he needs to stick around. "A King needs a sage, and a good test of his humility is whether or not he has one and whether or not he listens to him."

Just because a man has become a King, it doesn't mean he knows it all. There are things he has yet to experience, and it is crucial that he draw upon the wisdom of those older and more experienced than he is. And this is why we need men to stick around and be Sages. We need all that you have to offer. But sadly stories like the one I mentioned are few and far between. Sadly, men like my pastor friend, are harder and harder to find. "knowing how hard it is to find a Sage, you might for the time being draw strength and inspiration from those we find in books and film."

Yoda, the Priests in The Count of Monte Cristo and Kingdom of Heaven, Gandalf, these are some that John points out. We see in these characters heroes behind the heroes. They offer profound wisdom and insight into life that guides those who follow them. And many of their sayings contain valuable lessons for us to learn. It's easy to create a Sage when you have the best writers in Hollywood with days with nothing else to do. But in this I think we see the creation of a Sage in a man. What else is it but a life focused on a journey of masculine initiation with God? When we get to this point in the journey, our lives have been written by an incredible author, and the Sage is full of wisdom gained over the years.

This brings us to an interesting question, are only the old able to be Sages? "Proverbs says, 'The glory of the young in their strength; the gray hair of experience is the splendor of the old' (20:29 NLT)... Can a younger man be a Sage? Certainly, to some extent... a younger man can offer wisdom, advice, experience, counsel... And yet ... there are some things we just cannot know or understand until we have passed through the years that gray hair signifies."

I'm working on this blog, not knowing the age of my audience. I've preached messages to people old enough to be my great-grandparents. I've discipled teens and college students. I've taught classes to adults. Yes, this like every other stage, can have glimpses earlier in life. As we journey with God and grow closer to Him, we're going to have things to share from the insights we receive. There will be things we experience that we can in turn share with others to help them grow. But at the same time, there is a time to become the Sage. "Just as you don't want a young man to become a King too soon, you don't want him to present himself as a Sage too soon, either - whatever his credentials might be."

I've met some arrogant college students who have done just that, at one point I even was one of them. But as we journey with God, we learn humility, and in this gain wisdom. It takes a lifetime to become a Sage, let's not make the mistake of thinking we've mastered in 18, 25, or even 37 years. Let us continue to walk with God, learning as we go, and taking the stages as we are meant to. When we do, we have so much to offer.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

The Way of the Wild Heart, Chapter 14: Sage, part 1

We come now to the final stage of our earthly journey. In the opening pages of this chapter John says he will be brief because this stage he has not lived yet. I've found as I've moved through this book the last few chapters have been more difficult to write on, and I feel it is for that same reason. I have occupied the office of a King, but haven't fully lived that stage yet. For this final stage of the Sage, age and experience have not brought me to this point yet, and so as I write I'm guessing what will come out is the desire of my heart in the one I'm searching for, and what I hope to be someday, as well as a challenge for all men who are reaching this stage.

One thing I want to point out right from the start is this quote "An important reminder that mentors and fathers need not be physically present, nor even still living." John talks about his process of writing, and how one of the inspirations he drew upon for this book was author Norman Maclean, who died in 1990. He drew from his style and says that "I sat at his feet." This past weekend my pastor finished a series on the life of David and talked about leaving a legacy. One thing he mentioned was journaling. You record your thoughts and revelations in your own hand writing and your children and grandchildren are able to learn from you still. Since I've really started blogging a lot, my journaling has dropped to almost non-existent, but I really want to change that. Yes, these posts to contain my heart and insights, but there is something incredibly personal about your own hand writing.

And so as we journey through life, let us keep records. My favorite Bible is a wide margin NASB, I'm still working on filling the margins. I saw a couple of years ago that someone made a loose leaf Bible, one that went into a three ring binder, also with wide margins. I think this would be a phenomenal thing because the pages could easily be copied for each of your children. They could see what spoke to your heart, and how you grew through the years of your journey with God. Let them see a living, growing relationship with God, and let them have the record of it. A Godly legacy carries on even after we are gone.

And so as we begin to explore the Sage we must remember that we aren't done working and journeying until we are dead. As long as we still have breath, we still have a job to do. This idea is one we have lost in our current American culture. Retirement for many signifies time to take it easy and enjoy the remaining years. I heard on the radio a couple of months ago a man's ambitions for his retirement. He planned to move someplace warm, wake up, eat breakfast, go out and golf nine holes, come in for lunch and a nap, then after waking up go out and golf another nine holes before dinner and bed. That was the ambition he was seeking. "This is the point at which most men retire to Sun City, spend their days at bingo or in front of the History Channel." The thought of that makes me cringe.

That is not my ambition, honestly I find the thought of it quite boring. I don't want to just fade into obscurity, living off of society (which I probably won't be able to do anyway). I want my life to matter right up to the end. I want to finish well, and leave a legacy worthy of a Man of God. "This is the heart of the Sage - to make his greatest contribution with the last years of his life."

In his final book, published after his death, Mclean says this in the preface, "The problem of self-identity is not just a problem for the young. It is a problem all the time. Perhaps the problem. It should haunt old age, and when it no longer does it should tell you that you are dead... While the oxygen lasts, there are still new things to love, especially if compassion is a form of love." Think about that. Again, as long as we are still breathing, we have a job to do. In the beginning God formed man from the dust and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life. He then placed man in a garden to tend it. He was given life so that he might take care of creation (Genesis 2.7-9, 15-17). He had breath and a job to do, and that is still the case today. As long as we are still breathing we have a job to do.

Retirement is not the time to take it easy, but to invest. It is the time to be the Sage to younger men. No matter how old you are, you still have a job to do, finish well.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

The Way of the Wild Heart, Chapter 13: Raising the King, part 5

"Having said all this, if I were to choose one quality above all others to guide a man into, so that he might become a good King, that secret would be friendship with God. For if he has this, it will compensate for whatever other deficiencies the man may have, and if he does not have this, no matter how gifted he might be, he will not become the King he could have been." Each stage has a central focus, a boiled down to one sentence goal. Here it is friendship with God. We are after something that can only come from a journey that has been walked with God every step of the way. And it is essential that we have this if we desire to rule well.

"One of the big lies of the King stage is the idea that now you ought to know enough to operate out of your own resources. Not true. You will be faced with new challenges, bigger challenges, and the stakes are much higher. Many lives hang in the balance when you are a King." This past week we shared how the more we grow and mature the more freedom God gives us in decision making. With each decision comes a choice, do we draw near to God and see what He thinks about this, or not?

1 John 2 says, "I write to you, fathers, because you have known him who is from the beginning." It repeats same phrase this twice, first in verses 13 and then again in 14. We see that "the fathers are the friends of God." There is something more than casual acquaintance, this is personal and real, something that has been forged through trial and hardship and has stood the test. "How many Kings do you know who act as if they know God, in the manner that friends know one another?" Probably very few, if any at all. But this is what I want to be said of me, that I was a friend of God. If we would be good Kings we must be.

"Allow me to make a distinction. I believe a man can be a good King over some aspect of this world - a home, a school, a church, a nation - without having to be an intimate friend of God. I'be mentioned Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, and Churchill. I don't know how deeply they walked with God, but they were good men and served as good Kings. However, if we would be men in full - as God created man to be - then we must find the fulfillment of our lives in relationship with God. A deep, intimate relationship... This is the reason for our existence - to walk with God."

Ultimately that's what it all comes down too. "If we would be Kings in the kingdom of God, help to bring about his rule here on this earth, then we must follow the Master. We must learn to walk with God. Perhaps the single greater weakness common to good men now acting as Kings is that they do not walk with God. They have learned some principles of leadership, they have their market analyses, they have their opinions, and they try to govern by these alone. They are not bad men, per se. But they live by a practical agnosticism, even men who are leaders in the church. I promise you, you cannot master enough principles to address every situation you will meet."

No matter how skilled or intelligent you are, something will hit you that you aren't prepared for. It is these times that people most often turn to God, when there is no other option left. But what would happen if a King has a friendship with God? I'm not going to say that the hard times won't come, because they will, but I am saying that you won't have to face them or make the decision on your own. Your closest friend will be with you as you decide together, and will stand by you for the outcome, even if its a hail of bullets.

"How will a man be able to rule what he has been given if he is not in this kind of relationship with God? He will - by default - lean on his own understanding, something he is warned against in Scripture (see Prov. 3:5)." That verse is one of the most profound teachings, if not the most profound, in the Bible. If we would only live by it.

"I urge friendship with God as essential for a King for two reasons. First, because a man in power is positioned to do great good or great damage, and he will not have the wisdom to address every situation. Humility demands he turn to God, and often. Remember - the heart of the King is yielded to God... But there is an even deeper reason than expedience. This is what a man was made for. To be a King and not know God intimately is like a son who runs part of the family business, but never talks to his father. Yes, we are here to serve as Kings. But that service was never meant to take the place of our relationship with God."

Our role as King is ultimately a role of service to The King. We are given power from Him and we will have to give an account to Him about how we have used it. Without knowing Him personally and being submitted to His will how can we use that power correctly? Even with good motives we can still fail because ultimately our purpose as Kings is to lead people closer to God. If we don't know Him how can we cuckoo this purpose?

Friendship with God is what we were made for, and it's what we're after. "How is this cultivated? Part of it is orientation... If you would become the friend of God, your orientation needs to be to walk with God through the day. It's a posture, where you are aware of god and asking, 'What are you up to here, God?' And, 'What is this about? How do you want me to handle this?' With this orientation, this posture, I would add an open heart... without a heart alive, awake and somewhat free, you cannot know God."

If we want to know God and be close to Him, we have to pay attention and be alert. God is always speaking, always teaching, always affirming. We need to be intentional about searching for the lessons. But there is one more thing.

"Finally, and pardon the obvious, but you must actually want it. Because unless you really do, you will not be able to fight for the time required to cultivate friendship with God... God doesn't offer his friendship to men who don't care enough to make room for it." If we would know God, we must want to. The relationship, as with any, must be prioritized. I know how busy life is, but this friendship isn't an option if we desire to be the best Kings possible. God has done everything possible to pursue us and make this friendship possible, but we must choose to respond for it to go anywhere.

You were born for this, "your life as a man is a process of initiation into masculinity, offered to you by your true Father. Through the course of that journey, in all the many events of the Beloved Son, the Cowboy, the Warrior, the Lover, whatever else you learn you will learn to walk with God, for he is walking with you." That is what a King does above all else, he walks with God, side by side as friends, and leads others in the way.

"Father, raise the King in me. Develops in me the heart of a King. Help me to rule well, in your name. Teach me to be a good King, like Jesus. Help me to rule well right where I am. But above all else, teach me to live as your friend... Show me how to cultivate an even deeper relationship with you. To be one with you, even as Jesus is one with you. In all things. And show me the men you want me to father... show me how to offer what they need. Teach me to initiate my sons as Kings."

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

The Way of the Wild Heart, Chapter 13: Raising the King, part 4

"Speaking of the relationships a King needs, by this point in your life you ought to be a father to younger men... Who are the young men In your life?"  Now we come to a crucial part in the journey, the part where the cycle begins again.  We become Kings and then we begin to father others.  Who are you initiating?

Too many get to this point and begin to withdraw.  They go through the mid life crisis or fall into a sense of entitlement, and the destructive cycle begins all over again.  It is time we took a stand and said enough!  It's time we act like Kings, and kings rule for the sake of others.  We must rule for the hearts of young men who will be lost if we don't.

"There are many men - as you well know - in desperate need of someone to show them the way.  We reached this point of desolation - this period in time when most men are unfinished, uninitiated men who have no clue what to do with themselves - because as a culture and a church we abandoned masculine initiation.  Now we must fight to get it back.  Who will offer it, if not you?"

There is so much I want to say here.  As I typed that out I kept thinking of the Basic series by Francis Chan.  He's teaching about the basics of the faith in a series of DVD lessons and as he talks we see three young people on a journey.  When they reach the destination and rest we find them going back to show others the way.  That is the only way we find it, when we are led by someone who knows where they are going.

We are initiated so that we can initiate others.  Sadly the ritual and tradition has been lost, but we must get it back.  My dad didnt initiate me, because my grandpa didn't initiate him.  And he didn't because my great grandpa didn't initiate him.  I'm not sure how far back the cycle goes, but it's one I am determined to end.  I am so grateful to John Eldredge for the work he has done that has helped me be fathered and initiated by God.  And now that I know the way, or rather know part of the way, I must lead others in it.  That's part of the reason this blog exists.  And you have the same responsibility.

"Some of these boys and young men just need a father to speak affirmation into their hearts.  You can help them feel like Beloved Sons."  You can't fully initiate every man you ever meet, and God doesn't expect you to.  But you can help each man begin to find his true identity so he can heal and begin the journey.

"Some are young Cowboys needing to be called into adventure."  You can do this.  Offer encouragement at sporting events, invite your son's friends along on adventures with you.  Have them help with work projects, they'll learn valuable lessons and you'll begin to teach them about their strength.

"Others are Warriors needing a good King to follow.  As King, you ought to have a round table of your own, with young Warriors around you."  Help them find a cause to fight for, and train them for battle.  Be a leader they want to follow, that they are willing to shed blood for.  Give them a purpose bigger than themselves.

"Some of these fatherless men are even Kings and Sages -at least, in age - but they have been taken out by the enemy and by life, and they need a man to help them get back into the battle."  I think with the experiences I've endured in the past few years this is an area where God is going to use me in the future.  Helping men see that, yes life will knock you down, but "it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward."

Only we can break the downward cycle we find ourselves in.  God will initiate us so that we can initiate others, but we have to be intentional if we want to see change.  Who is willing to join me?  Who will join the phalanx and take back masculine initiation?  Recently I added a picture, quote and invitation to the bottom of the blog, an invitation to follow it and join the phalanx.  I would love to see hundreds of men as followers, not  so I can brag about the number of people who read my thoughts, but so we can show the enemy that he has opposition when it comes to taking out men.  We aren't going to back down, for us it is victory or death on the battle field.

If you're willing to take a stand beside me I invite you to join the ranks, add your shield to our wall, and lets go rescue the hearts of men.  Who's with me?

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

The Way of the Wild Heart, Chapter 13: Raising the King, part 3

No stage is without its struggles, and it is crucial for a King to be a Warrior first because there are many battles he'll have to fight. And it is crucial to remember that not all battles are against a physical, or external enemy. Some of them, the most crucial, come from within. The quote I'm about to share made me think of a line from Gladiator. Right before Commodus kills his father he begins to list the virtues that he possesses, virtues he feels his father has over looked in his choice of a successor. "Ambition," he says, "that can be a virtue when it drives us to excel."

Ambition is defined, "an earnest desire for some type of achievement or distinction, as power, honor, fame, or wealth, and the willingness to strive for its attainment". You have to have a goal in life, there has to be something you are striving for, and willing to sacrifice for. Some are good, and others are bad. As we see with Commodus, his ambition is for power and glory for his own luxury. And even the ambitions that seem good can be flawed. John shares a story about a business man whose ambition was to pastor one of the largest churches in the world, it never happened, and John said it probably didn't because that was the goal.

"The young seminarian's ambitions may have been noble, but then again, our ambitions will be refined by fire, must be refined, and setting out to hold a great position will not stand the test. Setting out to serve, to bring the kingdom of God, to fight for the freedom of others, yes. But greatness for the sake of greatness, that is the way of the world. We should fear becoming a large church, corporation, kingdom. We should be forced into it, by God."

Oh how true that is. I used to want to pastor a mega church, now I really don't think I'd ever want to under take that task. I love the idea of being able to disciple hundreds of people. I love the idea of having the resources and man power to be able to do a lot of good work for the Kingdom. But think about all that would be involved with that. Think of the relationship ability you lose. Think about how easy it would be to be prideful. Who would ask for that? Sadly, many do, and many who desire it, never get there.

"If we are going to do the Lord's work in the Lord's way, we must take Jesus' teaching seriously: he does not want us to press on to the greatest place unless He Himself makes it impossible to do otherwise." At this point, the only way I'd pastor a church of hundreds is if God gave me no other choice. I shared in a post last week that I don't know if I want to ever pastor a church again. And I'm not trying to sound humble and holy, but if that is what God wants me to do, He's going to have to push me into it.

This has to be the attitude a King has, and again, I'm not trying to exalt myself. "Humility is essential to the outcome of whether or not a man will make a good King. It is one of the truest expressions of that yieldedness I described earlier... arrogance has been the Achilles' heel of every bad King. Saul. Herod. Napoleon. Stalin. They were not yielded men, not humble in any way." Think of the damage these men did, and think of how they fell. The Bible warns about pride over and over.

Proverbs 29.23, "A man’s pride will bring him low, but a humble spirit will obtain honor."

Proverbs 16.18, "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling."

Proverbs 11.2, "When pride comes, then comes dishonor, but with the humble is wisdom."

Proverbs 8.13, "The fear of the Lord is to hate evil; pride and arrogance and the evil way and the perverted mouth, I hate."

The proud have no business in power. The attain it and feel it because of who they are and what they've done, there is a sense of entitlement that is unbecoming of a King. We have too many like that in power, and too many like that striving for leadership. "Those who yearn to be there should not be, and those who don't want the position are the only ones qualified to hold it." Why did Marcus Aurelius choose Maximus over Commodus? Because Maximus didn't desire power. As Marcus said, "That is why it must be you... But you have not been corrupted by her politics."

Pride is a great danger for any good King. It would be so easy to do so much good, and think it was a result of our own skill and talents. It would be so easy to work hard, and rise through the ranks of leadership and think it was on our own merit. And if we do, we will be brought low. It is crucial that we remain humble. "That is the posture of the noble heart, choosing humility in the very situations we find it so hard to do so. The truth is, either we choose it for ourselves, or our Father will arrange to have us humbled." We must constantly be on guard against pride, other wise our time and effectiveness as Kings will be short lived. But there is something else we must guard against, something possibly even more dangerous.

"Pride is blinding, and pride has brought down many a King. But perhaps the greatest occupational hazard for the King is the profound, utter loneliness of it all. This is something that must be admitted, and understood, for the life of a King is a lonely life. We must see that with compassion or it will lead us to our demise. Yes, pride is a profound test. One that has brought the fall of the greatest of all the angels. Something to be vigilant against. But I do not think that will be the greatest danger for a good King, not for a man who has taken the masculine journey. I think the greatest danger is isolation."

I can attest to this one. Leadership is a lonely role, and sadly for many it's something that is almost unavoidable. In my last ministry assignment I felt this so much. For the first six months, my wife and I weren't married. I would spend all day alone at the office, and all night alone at the house. It was rough. Even once we got married things were still rough. We worked opposite schedules, and we were the youngest people at church by 25 years. We were hours away from friends and family, it wasn't easy. And even the people at church and other pastors who seemed to care couldn't help. Isolation is far too common a thing for leadership.

"For one thing, people don't understand what you bear. They just don't. It's lonely at the top. The loneliness is exacerbated by the fact - it seems almost a law of human organizations, large or small - that blame always moves to the top, justly or unjustly. when there's something to complain about, blame the King. And then there are the hard decisions you have to make as a King, and those will at times offend, and people will pull away from you... Isolation is like a plague of office, and it is not good. The man becomes removed form companionship, from counsel, and from accountability. he begins to see himself as the only one who really understands, the only one with the right to rule, the only one whose opinion is valid. He will tend toward the tyrant at this point. Now, add to this increasing isolation a large dose of loneliness, and boom - the man is a walking target for an affair."

People who aren't in leadership can't understand what leaders go through, or the burdens they carry. They just can't, and quite often they say things with the best intentions that cut deeper than they could ever know. It is in these situations leaders must learn to be ducks, and let the comments role of you like water off a ducks back. My wife bought me a small duck that sat on my desk to serve as a constant reminder of this. Random thought, I like ducks, I really do. When we were at the church the back yard of the house was low and would flood in the winter/spring. There was a duck that would show up and swim in the temporary pond. This goes back to the Lover stage, but I think one way God speaks to me is with ducks. They are entertaining to watch and listen to, and they just make me smile. I didn't realize it at the time, but looking back I see how God was trying to speak to me, "Be a duck." As a leader you must.

And it is also crucial that you find other ducks to fly with. They fly in a "V" to help everyone out. "My sincerest counsel to Kings is, Don't isolate yourself, and don't let it happen to you. Surround yourself with good counselors, and listen to them. Let your allies and colleagues make decisions that affect you. Seek out friendships with a few other men - Kings, if you can find them. Be intentional to fight the isolation. You see, our journey of masculine initiation requires intentionality on our part. We are not passive observers or the process. We must engage."

Think about King David, when does he get in trouble? When he isolates himself, refuses to act like a King, doesn't listen to his counselors, and refuses to be humble. If we are to survive as Kings and rule well, we must be intentional. We must seek friendships and fight for masculine fellowship that is deeper than a thirty minute breakfast meeting with five minutes of prayer thrown in at the end. I've been part of too many fellowship groups that are just that, and yes, the fellowship is nice, but we need something more. We've talked about how guys don't need accountability partners, we need a band of brothers who have our backs and are willing to shed their blood for us.

And we must realize the fact that if we are to continue to advance in our journey we will have to engage. "By the time we have entered the stage of the King, the Father will treat us like men, leaving many decisions up to us, choices of whether or not we will continue to mature as men... The process of maturity is one of coming to make ever-more-meaningful decisions for ourselves... By the time we are the age of a King, God will leave many, many choices up to us. You'll notice in Scripture that he allows Kings to make terrible, even disastrous decisions. He will not treat them like children. He remains very much present, and engaged in our journey, but he also allows a bit of distance between us and him to see if we will draw even closer to him. Choosing humility, and choosing against isolation, will sometimes prove to be a very subtle decision, but decisions that we will need to make again and again if we would live well, and survive, as Kings."

We continue to grow and mature, or we get taken out. And it is crucial that we survive as Kings because many lives hang in the balance. Kings rule on behalf of others, and there are many young Warriors out there who need a good King to follow.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

The Way of the Wild Heart, Chapter 13: Raising the King, part 2

We don't just wake up one day and find ourselves as good Kings. We may one day happen to end up in the office of a King if we stick around the same place long enough, but as we've seen the office doesn't make you a King. It is a life long process, and it is what this journey is leading us to. Nobility is not something that is inherited, but worked for. Respect is something earned, not something position entitles one to. To be a good King takes years of work, life, and battle.

"So let this be clearly said: a man cannot be a good King unless he has first lived through the other stages of the masculine journey. If he aches still to be the Beloved Son, he might buy himself all sorts of toys. And he will also use his influence to win the approval of others. He will avoid the hard decisions because he wants everyone to like him. (That will paralyze a King, by the way.) If he was never allowed the Cowboy Ranger stage, he spends too much time at the country club playing golf, skiing, going on adventure trips, or perhaps now is when he buys the sports car. If never a Warrior, he will now wield his power in anger, doing great damage to make himself feel powerful, chasing dragons, making mountains out of molehills, simply so he can go to war. Never having been a true Lover, he will go out and buy himself a trophy wife, or find a lover on the Internet."

Are you beginning to see how much these stages build on each other? Nothing is wasted, and nothing is pointless. Without one stage a man cannot be a good King. Without one of the stages a man will be incomplete, and when he enters the office of king, his power and position are used to try and fill in the gaps from his youth. "How much of what we call the midlife crisis in men is simply an Unfinished Man, an uninitiated man, trying to fill in the gaps of his soul when what he should be doing now is acting like a King?" Think about what guys do during a midlife crisis, and read the second paragraph again. And now it all starts to make come together. But I've known men who haven't gone through a midlife crisis, I know men now approaching that age that aren't on the road to one. Listen to me, you do not have to experience a midlife crisis.

"And so my greatest advice which it comes to raising the King is, simply, 'Live the other stages.' If a man has been the Beloved Son, he will not need to be the center of attention. If he has been the Cowboy, he will be brave and daring. Having been a Warrior, he will not flinch from battle - the number one problem of most kings I know. He will be valiant, cunning, and resolute. He will also know how to 'keep his head.' This will be balanced by tenderness and compassion if he has also been a Lover. He will understand the heart, and how crucial this is, for now the hearts of many are in his hands."

Kings rule for the sake of others. A man cannot be a selfless servant if he is incomplete. If we want to be Kings we must take the journey. For some it means going back and allowing God to heal and father us. It is crucial that we do because "life will test you as a man, as a ship at sea is tested, and it will reveal the unhealed and unholy places within you. This is true to the tenth power when you become a King. so you cannot skip those stages. You will need all they have to offer your soul as a man." It's true, Kings are huge targets. If the enemy can take the leader out everything stands still, even if it's only for a brief moment. But in that moment the enemy can do great damage.

A King must be strong and complete. He must know his identity so that when others try to tear him down, which happens even to the best Kings, he is secure in truth. He must know how to work and how to take risks. There will be times when he won't be fully confident, but good leaders don't wonder if they made the right decision, they make a decision and make it the right one. He will have to fight, plain and simple. Not all battles are hand to hand combat, but all require a warrior if victory is desired. And a King must know how to enjoy the simple things in life. There will be many things that demand his time and attention, he must know how to find rest and refreshment if he is to remain sane. We were born to be Kings, and so we must be ready when we are called to lead. and this has never been more true than when it comes to raising our sons.

"What is extraordinary to note is that from a very young age boys understand the nobility required of a King, and they admire it and long for it. Something seems to be set within them, at least before the world gets to them... So I would say that among our greatest tasks in raising the boy to be a King is protecting that nobility a boy believes in when he is young, protecting both that it is good and that it is possible. We do this in the stories we choose, stories that show the nobility of a King. We do this especially by living in such a manner as his father, for nothing undermines this more quickly than to see his father lying, cheating, making excuses for less-than-noble decisions. I said earlier that often the king-heart is wounded in boys and young men living under bad Kings."

Boys know they are born to rule, they just do. But somewhere along the way the world attacks this. It shouldn't be a surprise, Satan doesn't want a man to be King, so he works to take him out right from the beginning. That is why a boy needs his King, his father or mentor, to be a Warrior and make the world safe for him. They need to see that nobility is possible, and that their Kings have lived it out for them to model. They need to see incorruptible character lived out, and they need to have it called out in them. They need to see their King ruling well, and they will come to respect him for his integrity. And they will want to be just like their King, so we must let them, right from the beginning. We only learn to use authority by being given some.

"I also said that a boy needs to have dominion over something. His room. his toys. His own body. Let him spend his money, and make mistakes. Give him a voice in the family choices... Give him a sense of dominion. As he gets older, let his dominion increase. Let him choose the sports he wants to play - or to not play at all. Let him decide his major, and his career path. Offer your guidance, of course, but let him exercise increasing sovereignty over his life. Is this not how God works with us?" And as he learns to exercise authority, he'll learn to trust God and develop a relationship with Him. He'll learn to lean of God and not his own understanding; and as he does, he'll see his paths be made straight.

A boy must learn to exercise authority. It's when a man doesn't, or doesn't know how to, or even that he has any, that he fails. And when a King fails, bad things happen. Look back at Genesis 3 and see what happens when Adam fails. The world is the way it is today as a result. And the world stays the way it is because Adam's sons continue in his failure. And our failure is because we either refuse our authority or abuse it.

"Might I point out that many men fail as Kings through abdication, through some sort of passivity? They refuse to take the role, or they refuse to make the tough decisions. Refuse to lead their people in battle. They look for a comfortable life." One the one had we refuse it. We don't play our part, we let everyone fend for themselves. Instead of bringing order, we allow chaos to take over.

"The other extreme, after Adam's fall, is tyranny. Kings like Pharaoh and Saul and Herod. Men who use their power in order to control and manipulate. The pastor who won't share the pulpit with anyone. The CEO who won't take advice. The father who keeps his family cowed in fear. If a man would be a good King, he would do well to keep in mind these two extremes." On the other hand power can easily be abused. We see a lot of this, and just as when we refuse to use power, chaos results.

It doesn't have to be that way, and there is something we an do about it. Yes, there is a problem, the world doesn't work like it was supposed to. But restoration is underway, and we have a part to play in it. "The earth was given to man, but Satan usurped the throne... Jesus came to win it back... Through his absolute obedience to God and through his sacrificial death, he did indeed break ever claim Satan might make to the kingdoms of this earth (see Col. 2:13-15). Now, 'All authority in heaven and on earth has been given' to Jesus (Matt. 28.18 NIV). And you, my brother, have been given that same authority... Learning to live in this authority, to bring the kingdom of God to our little kingdoms on earth, that is what it means to become a true King... The course of a man's life is coming to the place where he can be made a King in his experience, where all that Christ has bestowed can be realized in the man's life."

Jesus has called us to be more than what we are. If you read the Bible you'll notice that Jesus always calls people to what they can become. He challenges them to be who He already sees them to be. We are Kings, and again, Kings rule on behalf of others. Quite often we'll feel unprepared, and like we have no idea what we're doing. But it is here that our actions are essential, and it is here that we grow the most. And as long as we are fully trusting in God, everything will work out.

"Back in the chapters on the Warrior I explained that they way God most often teaches a man to fight is to put him in situation after situation where he must fight. The same idea holds ture in the time of the King - our Father will put you in situations where you will need to act decisively, and strongly, on behalf of others. The King-heart in us is formed and strengthened in those moments - especially in those moments of sacrificial decision, where we do put others before us, and in those moments of unwavering decisiveness, where we take a difficult stand against great odds or opposition. If you are like most men, you'll feel like you're in way over your head in moments like these. But this is how our intuition unfolds in our daily lives, how we come to discover that we do have the heart of a King, can act like a King. Not perfectly, not every time, but more and more as our initiation develops the King in us. I think we all know that such nobility and integrity can be formed in a man only by the Spirit of God. The question to us is, Will we let him?"

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

The Way of the Wild Heart, Chapter 13: Raising the King, part 1

As we set out to raise the King - in a boy, and in a man - we should begin with the heart of a King... Far too many books have been written on leadership principles and strategies, and I am not going to try to add to that mass here. What we need is the heart of a King, and what better place to look than to our King". Jesus came and died on the cross, Easter was the main focus of His mission, but He did something besides die for us. Jesus lived for us, and gave us an example of how to live life. Jesus lived in such a way that Revelation says he is worthy (Revelation 5).

"Worthy. That is different from, say, entitled, as the firstborn is entitled to the throne. Different also from gifted. Jesus is the Firstborn, and through him all things were created, but when he comes to the throne there is an overwhelming sense that he is worthy to be King." Jesus sits on the throne simply because He is the only one worthy to. Yes, He is entitled to it, and yes, He is gifted enough to take it, but He doesn't grasp it. I love what Paul says in Philippians 2, "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father" (verses 3-11).

That is the heart of the King. He sets His right aside to serve and save His people. And because of that He is highly exalted to His rightful place, and in His life, we see the model we are to follow. "First, that we should seek the character before we seek the office. A man should be measured by the way he has lived, prior to coming to the throne... Jesus is worthy to take the throne because he has earned it. Just look at his noble heart before he ascends the throne: He has an incorruptible integrity... He is immensely kind... He is humble... He is generous... He is just."

Those are the qualities that are most essential to a King. Incorruptible integrity keeps him from compromising and taking a bribe. Kindness allows his people to love and trust him. Humility keeps him focused on the goal and the King of kings. Generosity allows him to provide for his people. Justice is essential to keeping order. If a King wants to rule well he has to have these characteristics, and it will be said of him that he is noble, and noble is what we are to strive for.

If you look up noble in the dictionary you'll see the first part of the definition describes people who most likely aren't worthy of the title. It talks about titles and ancestry. it captures the idea of entitlement, but not necessarily worthiness. But once you get to the end of the list you'll find these, "of an exalted moral or mental character or excellence; admirable in dignity of conception, manner of expression, execution, or composition". That is what we are after. And it is crucial that we know it is possible.

I've heard more times than I care to remember that "We sin everyday in word, thought, and deed." Let me be, perhaps, the first to say, it's a lie. It goes right next to "I'm just a sinner saved by grace." When we trust God we become His children, and the Holy Spirit comes to live within us and empowers us to live above sin. "But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh" (Galatians 5.16). A King is not a sinner saved by grace who sins everyday in word, thought, and deed. A King is a noble child of God who has been redeemed and empowered to live a righteous life. Nobility is what we are after, and nobility is possible.

"Despite what the church may have told you, a man may have a noble heart. Jesus says so himself: 'But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop. (Luke 8:15 NIV)'... Let no false humility keep you from your birthright. Let me say it again: a man may have a noble heart."

When we begin to think along these lines, and begin to live like we believe them it changes the way we live. "It allows us to ask a new kind of question, when we are faced with any situation: 'What is the noble thing to do?' It's a far better question than simply, 'What is the expedient thing to do?' or, as I am apt to ask, 'How can I get out of this quickly?' 'What is the noble thing to do?' awakens the noble heart, arrests our attention, arouses our courage."

Remember nobility is "having or showing fine personal qualities or high moral principles and ideals." It is incorruptible character, kindness, humility, generosity, and justice. What would your life look like if you lived that way? How would you handle the day to day situations? What is the noble thing to do? This journey leads us to Kingship, and if we desire to be Kings who are loved and spoken well of our nobility must be more than simply an office. It must be a heart matter. "And notice - the noble heart is found in the one who perseveres, which brings us back to the Stages." This journey is about the heart, and therefore about nobility.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor

The Way of the Wild Heart, Chapter 12: King, part 4

I think many look at leadership and envy the position. If there is a bad king they envy the life of ease and wealth. I don't know that anyone has ever envied a good king. Many aspire to leadership for the perks, thinking only of them without realizing how much is demanded of a leader. "There is a cost the King pays, unknown and unmatched by any other man." Remember what Jesus said? "Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave" (Matthew 20.26b-27).

Back as a freshman in college I was ready to jump into church leadership, eager even, to the point of arrogance. I was 18 and thought I knew it all. At that point in my life I couldn't fathom the cost that pastor's pay. The Bible even says, "Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly" (James 3.1). But I was following a calling, so I was supposed to do this. After serving in roles as youth, young adult, and lead pastor I understand the cost a little better.

You are constantly watched. Everything you say, do, and don't do, is analyzed and scrutinized. People are waiting for you to mess up and falter, there are some people out there that want you to fail and will do whatever they can to help it along. You'll see your words be twisted and taken out of context. Others who want your position will slander and discredit you. You become a target, a big, bright, glow in the dark, neon one. Does it sound appealing? Who in their right mind wants to volunteer for that?

"I think unless there is this profound reluctance to take the throne, a man does not understand the cost of what is being asked of him. You will be tested. On every conceivable front... You don't want to be a King. Trust me. It is not something to be coveted. Only the ignorant covet a throne... Becoming a king is something we accept only as an act of obedience. The posture of the heart in a mature man is reluctance to take the throne, but willing to do it on behalf of others."

As I read that I thought about Gladiator. The aging emperor is dying, and his son, Commodus, is a selfish, immoral human being. So he turns to his general, Maximus. He asks him if he will take his place, and become emperor when he dies. Maximus' response, "With all my heart, no." The emperor is filled with joy and says, "That is why it must be you." He does not seek power, he does not want it. All he wants is a simple life as a farmer. He has spent years in battle, fighting for the expansion and protection of Rome, but now he must take up leadership to save Rome from itself.

The son becomes aware of the plan, and kills his father because he desires the throne. He's a bad, and wicked, king who seeks only his own benefit. Maximus rises up, again as a Warrior, and really a Lover because his actions are done in service to a good king, fights the battle, defeats the enemy, and brings order, protection, and blessing to Rome. That is a good king. And it is crucial to remember that those who seek the throne for their own glory and advancement, will do whatever it takes to prevent those who seek to serve the benefits of the people from ruling.

Commodus, kills his father before he can announce Maximus' succession, and then orders Maximus' execution to secure his reign. It doesn't work. Maximus survives, and eventually the two come face to face in the Coliseum. Again, Commodus tries to have him killed, but the Warrior cannot be defeated. So finally Commodus challenges Maximus to a fight, but knowing he can't beat him, literally stabs him in the back. The enemy doesn't want good kings to rule, so he will do whatever he can to wound men and keep them from rising to power. He starts very young, and doesn't let up.

"The King is wounded early in a boy when he is never given a territory of his own, when his territory is violated, or when his territory is too big for him. A boy needs some territory to call his own. Does he get to choose what he wears - often? Does he have certain special toys that he does not have to let others play with? Is his room, especially, a little kingdom over which he has some say? Of course, a parent expects him to clean his room. I'm talking about choices of what color to paint it, what pictures he gets to hang on the walls. Do his parents and siblings have to knock before they enter?... How else will he learn to rule?"

How can you really teach a boy to handle power? Give him some. Give him a small kingdom and teach him how to care for and protect it. As he grows and matures, allow his territory to as well. Teach him that he is powerful by giving something to exercise his power over and improve. Power isn't something you can just hand someone all at once at 18 and expect them to rule well. They have to learn to use it over time and slowly.

"If a boy has a domineering mother or father, it crushes the young King in him. He never gets to develop his own willpower and determination. For the King is also wounded early in a boy when his boundaries are violated... Sexual abuse would be among the worst violations, for the child is invaded and cannot make it stop. How can he (or she) develop a sense of sovereignty over his life, a confidence that he can assert his will, protect his boundaries? The child becomes accustomed to being run over, demanded of, used."

We saw how in order to be a Beloved Son, the boy must live in a world made safe by his father's strength. His small kingdom must fall under the protection of the big kingdom. He must be able to live in a world without fear and see what life is supposed to be like, so that he can one day take that knowledge and begin to make the world that way as his kingdom grows.

"I said in chapter 1 that a boy is also wounded when he is made a king too soon, as often happens when the father abandons the family... His shoulders are not nearly big enough for that, and won't be for a long time. Sometimes the mother does it, unintentionally, as she looks to the boy to become her companion, help her navigate life without a husband. Sometimes the boy will just take it on himself. It happens also when the boy has a weak father. It is an awful thing when you are five, or fifteen, or even twenty-five, to be the strongest man in your world."

There is a progression we are meant to grow through. We see bits of the stages throughout the whole journey, but we are meant to experience them fully in order. Don't force your son to play your part, man up and allow him to grow and journey.

"Young men are wounded by Kings who betray them, and the wound often causes them to resent all Kings and the role of King. Perhaps this is why so many young men today do not want to enter the stage of King, and think that they are more righteous for it." I've been there, and it sucks. You are sent into an ambush by someone you loved, respected, and thought had your back. Resentment is easy to have, but it isn't the way we walk. Instead we learn from it, learn how to trust and be more cautious, and we learn even more clearly, how to rule. We remember what happened to us, and we make sure that it doesn't happen again in our kingdom.

"We often make young men Kings too soon as well... Does this mean a young man cannot become a King? No. Josiah was twenty-six when he began his reforms, and he ruled well. But I would say that a young man should not be made King over too great a kingdom... If he finds himself in the role of King as a younger man, he should not forsake the other stages of the journey, for he will need all they have to teach him and develop in him. It is not the season of the King for him, but of the Warrior and Lover, and it is at those stages he should live, looking to older men to help him fulfill the office of King."

I became a lead pastor at the age of 24, a role I don't believe anyone is ready to take at that age, no matter how small the church may be (maybe especially if the church is small, because churches are often small because of problems no one has been willing to deal with). I had older men I looked to, but found very little help. People gave me words, but no action, and sometimes they weren't words that did any good. It's made me wonder if I want to take on that role ever again. Part of me has no desire to, and instead I've been looking for other opportunities to serve under a good King. My pastor now is such a leader, one of the best Kings I've ever known. I'm glad to be a Warrior in his army for now, but as I've written all of this I have the sense that at some point in the future I'm going to be asked to take on the leadership of another church. If that is to be the case, then now must be time dedicated to focusing on the Warrior and the Lover, as it is meant to be, because only then will I be able to rule well.

"Kings are wounded when they are men as well, sometimes wounded right out of being a King. There is betrayal... It happens so many times, the enemy using people to try to bring down the kingdom, and mostly, to dishearten the King... Sometimes a King is forced out of his kingdom... You can be assured that the enemy will do whatever he can to keep a man from rising up as King. He will tempt, dishearten, assault - as he did Adam, Moses, David, and Jesus."

That was my experience, and it is at that moment a King needs a Sage, we'll see more on this soon. In my case, where I was filling the office of King, I needed an older King to help me heal. It is crucial that when the time comes we do that as well. My experience has given me a heart for young men who find themselves in the same position, and one day I will reach out to them and be the King I wish I had had.

"Whatever had diminished your heart as a King, or toward the King, you must not let it win. It is as a King you were born, and it is as a King you must rise. There is great good to be done, and many people to rescue - all that we are missing are the Kings of the earth."

You are needed. Think of The Lion King, "You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the Circle of Life... Remember who you are. You are my son, and the one true King. Remember who you are." You were born to rule well, to protect your kingdom, to bring order from chaos, and blessing upon the people. Rise up as the King you were born to be.

"Father... Show me how the King was wounded in me as a boy, as a young man, and in my adulthood as well. Show me where I've acted weakly, abdicating my authority. Show me where I've been a tyrant. Show me also where I have ruled well. Let me see what life is like for those under my rule, and, by your grace, let me become a great King on behalf of others. I give my life to you. Give me the heart and spirit of a man yielded to you. Father me."

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

To God alone be the Glory!

Strength and Honor