We are warriors. You are a warrior. And you have enemies that are working to take you out. Be on your guard and ready for the battle. John points out that we will always encounter three enemies, the world, the flesh, and the devil which he says "make up a sort of unholy trinity."
I think these work in a particular order. I think the attack in waves beginning with the one closest at hand, the flesh. This would be the Evil Spirit in the unholy trinity that is against us. This is "that part of fallen Adam in every man that always wants the easiest way out." This is that voice in us, that feeling that says we'll fail, that we aren't enough, not we aren't really warriors at all and have no business on the battlefield to begin with.
But it's important to know that "Your flesh is not the real you." No matter what it would have you believe, this is not who you really are. The thing in you that feels like a constant failure that can do nothing right, is not the real you. It is the traitor inside the walls that is trying to let the enemy outside come in and destroy all life.
The Church has not helped men to overcome this enemy. John points out something I've been saying and thinking for years. You are not just a sinner saved by grace. We've all heard that, many of us have probably said it, but it is a lie, and undoubtedly the biggest lie told in the Church. You are not a sinner saved by grace, your flesh is sinful, but "You are not your sin; sin is no longer the truest thing about the man who has come into union with Jesus. Your heart is good." The flesh is the sinner, but you, the new creation in Christ, are a child of God. You are His beloved son.
"The real you is on the side of God against the false self... your flesh is your false self - the poser, manifest in cowardice and self-preservation - and the only way to deal with it is to crucify it." In order to deal with an enemy we must identify it. We must call it what it is, and then we must execute him for treason. We crucify the flesh, we put it to death. We die to sin and are raised to new life in Christ. And pay attention to this, "we are never, ever told to crucify our heart. We are never told to kill the true man within us, never told to get rid of those deep desires for battle and adventure and beauty. We are told to shoot the traitor."
In Christ, your heart is good. It has been cleansed and sanctified by Him for His work. It has been set free, trained, and called to the front lines. But in order to be effective in battle, we must get rid of the traitor behind the walls. "If you want to grow in true masculine strength, then you must stop sabotaging yours."
John points out that we sabotage our strength, we allow the traitor to live, when we refuse our strength, and when we give it away. We refuse it by running from it, by not using it when it is called upon. We keep silent when we should speak up for truth. We remain seated when we should stand up and face injustice. We give our strength away when we allow ourselves to be bought off. We are bribed or we give in to temptation, and the flesh lives to destroy another day. "A man's addictions are the result of his refusing his strength."
To be men, we must live from our strength. Our strength comes from the good, new heart that is ours in Christ. The flesh, the traitor within the walls, will do whatever he can to prevent that. He will work to convince us that we are weak and worthless; that we have nothing to offer and even if we did, it wouldn't be enough. He will work to convince us that we are nothing but worthless sinners who are nothing without grace. But the truth is, you are a new creation, a beloved son of God, who is powerful, dangerous, and strong. You have strength that the flesh is terrified of because your God given strength is the end of the flesh, and the whole goal of the flesh is self-preservation.
Embrace your strength. Embrace the fact that you are so much more than a sinner who has been saved by grace. Realize that, "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1.6), "for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure" (Philippians 2.13). " But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead" (Philippians 3.7-11). And "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you" (Philippians 4.8-9).
The traitor is dead, one down, two to go.
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3.20-21
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Friday, April 26, 2013
Wild at Heart, Chapter 8: A Battle to Fight: The Enemy, part 2
God has called you to the front lines. You have what it takes. You are a warrior. So what does that mean? What is a warrior? For many the idea of combat is probably the first thing that comes to mind. With that comes the notion of strength and courage. Most probably think of someone who is fearless, never backing down from anything or anyone. And some probably think of a loaner who doesn't need anyone else.
Some of these qualities are good and true, others miss the point. John points out two main characteristics of the warrior, two that really sum them all up. A warrior has vision, and a warrior is cunning.
"Above all else, a warrior has a vision; he has a transcendence to his life, a cause greater than self-preservation... A true warrior serves something - or Someone - higher than himself."
A warrior isn't focused on saving his own life. Most of his actions involve putting his life on the line, and this is only possible when you're living for something greater than yourself. My mind goes to Brave Heart. Towards the end of the movie William Wallace is going to meet with Robert the Bruce because he has offered to fight along side him which gives the hope of final victory. Wallace's friend warns him that it's a trap, and this dialogue takes place.
Hamish: I don't want to be a martyr.
William Wallace: Nor I. I want to live. I want a home and children, and peace.
Hamish: Do ya?
William Wallace: Aye, I do. I've asked God for these things. But it's all for nothing if you don't have freedom.
William Wallace goes, is captured, and executed. But if you've seen the movie you know that even at the end he has the greater purpose in mind where even as he is being gutted he cries out, "FREEDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!"
I think about Gladiator. Maximus has a desire to join his wife and son in the after life. As he fights his final battle in the Coliseum we see him begin to fade in and out, but he stays focused, finishes what he must do, because he is living and fighting for the glory of Rome.
A warrior has vision, he lives and serves for that vision, setting aside his own life, his own safety for something greater. A warrior is only a warrior when he serves something, or someone, greater than himself. Vision is what strengthens him to keep going, it enables him to endure the hardships, and if necessary it gives him the courage to lay his life down.
"Second, a warrior is cunning. He knows when to fight and when to run; he can sense a trap and never charges blindly ahead; he knows what weapons to carry and how to use them."
Not all battles are worth fighting, not all hills are worth dying on. Sometimes we run, and live to fight another day. Sometimes there are traps laid to take us out, and so it's crucial to be heads up and alert so we don't waste our lives carelessly. And what warrior is ever unarmed? Even if it's just his hands, he knows how to use them. He knows what weapons are needed for battle, and he knows how to use them. He's trained with them, he knows them, and he carries the appropriate tools for the job.
Vision and cunning are crucial to a warrior because we face deadly enemies whose sole purpose is to take us out. Sometimes we may need to give our lives, and with vision we are willing and ready to. Sometimes we run, sometimes we fight, and with cunning we know the difference and how to.
We are warriors. You are a warrior. And you have enemies that are working to take you out. Be on your guard and ready for the battle.
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3.20-21
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Some of these qualities are good and true, others miss the point. John points out two main characteristics of the warrior, two that really sum them all up. A warrior has vision, and a warrior is cunning.
"Above all else, a warrior has a vision; he has a transcendence to his life, a cause greater than self-preservation... A true warrior serves something - or Someone - higher than himself."
A warrior isn't focused on saving his own life. Most of his actions involve putting his life on the line, and this is only possible when you're living for something greater than yourself. My mind goes to Brave Heart. Towards the end of the movie William Wallace is going to meet with Robert the Bruce because he has offered to fight along side him which gives the hope of final victory. Wallace's friend warns him that it's a trap, and this dialogue takes place.
Hamish: I don't want to be a martyr.
William Wallace: Nor I. I want to live. I want a home and children, and peace.
Hamish: Do ya?
William Wallace: Aye, I do. I've asked God for these things. But it's all for nothing if you don't have freedom.
William Wallace goes, is captured, and executed. But if you've seen the movie you know that even at the end he has the greater purpose in mind where even as he is being gutted he cries out, "FREEDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!"
I think about Gladiator. Maximus has a desire to join his wife and son in the after life. As he fights his final battle in the Coliseum we see him begin to fade in and out, but he stays focused, finishes what he must do, because he is living and fighting for the glory of Rome.
A warrior has vision, he lives and serves for that vision, setting aside his own life, his own safety for something greater. A warrior is only a warrior when he serves something, or someone, greater than himself. Vision is what strengthens him to keep going, it enables him to endure the hardships, and if necessary it gives him the courage to lay his life down.
"Second, a warrior is cunning. He knows when to fight and when to run; he can sense a trap and never charges blindly ahead; he knows what weapons to carry and how to use them."
Not all battles are worth fighting, not all hills are worth dying on. Sometimes we run, and live to fight another day. Sometimes there are traps laid to take us out, and so it's crucial to be heads up and alert so we don't waste our lives carelessly. And what warrior is ever unarmed? Even if it's just his hands, he knows how to use them. He knows what weapons are needed for battle, and he knows how to use them. He's trained with them, he knows them, and he carries the appropriate tools for the job.
Vision and cunning are crucial to a warrior because we face deadly enemies whose sole purpose is to take us out. Sometimes we may need to give our lives, and with vision we are willing and ready to. Sometimes we run, sometimes we fight, and with cunning we know the difference and how to.
We are warriors. You are a warrior. And you have enemies that are working to take you out. Be on your guard and ready for the battle.
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3.20-21
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Wild at Heart, Chapter 8: A Battle to Fight: The Enemy, part 1
"If we would endeavor, like men of courage, to stand in the battle, surely we would feel the favorable assistance of God from Heaven. For he who giveth us occasion to fight, to the end we may get the victory, is ready to succor those that fight manfully, and do trust in his grace." -Thomas A Kempis
With each chapter John begins with a few quotes. Usually song lyrics, occasionally Scripture, and often from other pieces of literature. Very few have really hit me with this reading, but this one did. We've come to the part that thrills the heart of every man, the warrior. This is written deeply into our image. Exodus 15.3 declares, "The Lord is a warrior; The Lord is His name." And in Genesis it says we are made in the image of God, and therefore, man is a warrior.
"A man needs a battle to fight; he needs a place for the warrior in him to come alive and be honed, trained, seasoned... every man is a warrior, yet every man must choose to fight... the warrior is crucial in our movement toward any masculine integrity; it is hard wired into every man."
Every man is a warrior, and a warrior needs a battle to fight if he is to stay a warrior. For his skills to stay sharp he has to use them, and it's crucial that his skills be honed because we live in a world at war, as C.S. Lewis points out, I believe in Mere Christianity, or as Aragorn tells Theoden in The Two Towers, "Open war is upon you whether you would risk it or not."
Every man is a warrior, and every man is born into war, but every man has the choice to join the fight or not. But it is crucial that we do, because without the warrior it is impossible for us to continue on in the journey to man hood. Without being a warrior, a man cannot be a Man of God.
I am not saying that all men must serve in the military to be a real man. I didn't serve, one of the only regrets I have in life, as many of the men I know have not. But literal war is not the only battle there is to fight, and those who put their lives on the line for our freedom are not the only ones who are warriors.
"A man must have a battle to fight, a great mission to his life that involves and yet transcends even home and family. He must have a cause to which he is devoted even unto death, for this is written into the fabric of his being. That is why God created you - to be his intimate ally, to join him in the Great Battle. You have a specific place in the line, a mission God made you for. That is why it is so essential to hear form God about your true name, because in that name is the mission of your life."
You were made to stand side by side with God in this war. You were created for this, and "your whole life has been preparation for battle." Everything that has happened in your life has been part of your training, God's boot camp if you will. The things we have experienced and been through, have served to prepare us for the things we encounter in war. And you have an essential part, you play an irreplaceable role, "No one else can be who you are meant to be. You are the hero in your story." John says, you are William Wallace, armed with a claymore not the guy four rows back with a garden hoe.
God created you to stand next to Him and push forward. The training has happened, the wounds that have been inflicted have been healed, you have been given your true name which comes with an identity and therefore a mission, and now you are ready for battle. "This is the next leg in the initiation journey, when God calls a man forward to the front lines."
The Spartans were the greatest warriors of the ancient world. Take away gunpowder, and I might be tempted to say they were the greatest warriors ever (the Navy SEALs would be the only ones who I'd say would stand a chance against them with hand to hand weapons). A single Spartan was a force to be reckoned with, his whole life had been devoted to preparing for war. He was trained to ignore pain, and went into battle hoping to meet a warrior worthy and able to give him his death. The Spartans were taught never to retreat and were told, "Come back carrying your shield, or on it." Just one of them could take on pretty much any opponent, but the Spartan army was nearly invincible.
The numbers of the Battle of Thermopylae vary based on your source, but the Spartans were greatly outnumbered, and still held their own for three days killing tens of thousands of Persians. The secret was in their phalanx. This battle formation was formed by the Spartans standing side by side with their massive shields overlapping. Each warrior protected himself and the man to his left. The older, experienced warriors, would be in front and back where the fighting was most intense. In the center there were young Spartans who were learning how to fight in an actual war. But no Spartan stayed in the middle forever. The day would come from each of them to be called to the front, being given the honor to add his shield to the phalanx.
We are at this stage in the journey were God has called us forward, we get to join our shield to the phalanx. God is standing to your right, covering you with His shield. And you have the chance to call others to join you. I've shared the meaning of the names I've picked out for my sons, and along with those names I have picked out a life verse for them. To my first, "Mighty, Man of God" I've picked out 2 Timothy 2.1-4, "You therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. The things which you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, entrust these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. Suffer hardship with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one who enlisted him as a soldier." The time will come when he will be called to join the front lines, to add his shield to the phalanx, to stand firm with me as a solider of Christ. And when he is called to the front it will be because he is ready.
God has called you to the front lines. You have what it takes. You are a warrior.
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3.20-21
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
With each chapter John begins with a few quotes. Usually song lyrics, occasionally Scripture, and often from other pieces of literature. Very few have really hit me with this reading, but this one did. We've come to the part that thrills the heart of every man, the warrior. This is written deeply into our image. Exodus 15.3 declares, "The Lord is a warrior; The Lord is His name." And in Genesis it says we are made in the image of God, and therefore, man is a warrior.
"A man needs a battle to fight; he needs a place for the warrior in him to come alive and be honed, trained, seasoned... every man is a warrior, yet every man must choose to fight... the warrior is crucial in our movement toward any masculine integrity; it is hard wired into every man."
Every man is a warrior, and a warrior needs a battle to fight if he is to stay a warrior. For his skills to stay sharp he has to use them, and it's crucial that his skills be honed because we live in a world at war, as C.S. Lewis points out, I believe in Mere Christianity, or as Aragorn tells Theoden in The Two Towers, "Open war is upon you whether you would risk it or not."
Every man is a warrior, and every man is born into war, but every man has the choice to join the fight or not. But it is crucial that we do, because without the warrior it is impossible for us to continue on in the journey to man hood. Without being a warrior, a man cannot be a Man of God.
I am not saying that all men must serve in the military to be a real man. I didn't serve, one of the only regrets I have in life, as many of the men I know have not. But literal war is not the only battle there is to fight, and those who put their lives on the line for our freedom are not the only ones who are warriors.
"A man must have a battle to fight, a great mission to his life that involves and yet transcends even home and family. He must have a cause to which he is devoted even unto death, for this is written into the fabric of his being. That is why God created you - to be his intimate ally, to join him in the Great Battle. You have a specific place in the line, a mission God made you for. That is why it is so essential to hear form God about your true name, because in that name is the mission of your life."
You were made to stand side by side with God in this war. You were created for this, and "your whole life has been preparation for battle." Everything that has happened in your life has been part of your training, God's boot camp if you will. The things we have experienced and been through, have served to prepare us for the things we encounter in war. And you have an essential part, you play an irreplaceable role, "No one else can be who you are meant to be. You are the hero in your story." John says, you are William Wallace, armed with a claymore not the guy four rows back with a garden hoe.
God created you to stand next to Him and push forward. The training has happened, the wounds that have been inflicted have been healed, you have been given your true name which comes with an identity and therefore a mission, and now you are ready for battle. "This is the next leg in the initiation journey, when God calls a man forward to the front lines."
The Spartans were the greatest warriors of the ancient world. Take away gunpowder, and I might be tempted to say they were the greatest warriors ever (the Navy SEALs would be the only ones who I'd say would stand a chance against them with hand to hand weapons). A single Spartan was a force to be reckoned with, his whole life had been devoted to preparing for war. He was trained to ignore pain, and went into battle hoping to meet a warrior worthy and able to give him his death. The Spartans were taught never to retreat and were told, "Come back carrying your shield, or on it." Just one of them could take on pretty much any opponent, but the Spartan army was nearly invincible.
The numbers of the Battle of Thermopylae vary based on your source, but the Spartans were greatly outnumbered, and still held their own for three days killing tens of thousands of Persians. The secret was in their phalanx. This battle formation was formed by the Spartans standing side by side with their massive shields overlapping. Each warrior protected himself and the man to his left. The older, experienced warriors, would be in front and back where the fighting was most intense. In the center there were young Spartans who were learning how to fight in an actual war. But no Spartan stayed in the middle forever. The day would come from each of them to be called to the front, being given the honor to add his shield to the phalanx.
We are at this stage in the journey were God has called us forward, we get to join our shield to the phalanx. God is standing to your right, covering you with His shield. And you have the chance to call others to join you. I've shared the meaning of the names I've picked out for my sons, and along with those names I have picked out a life verse for them. To my first, "Mighty, Man of God" I've picked out 2 Timothy 2.1-4, "You therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. The things which you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, entrust these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. Suffer hardship with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one who enlisted him as a soldier." The time will come when he will be called to join the front lines, to add his shield to the phalanx, to stand firm with me as a solider of Christ. And when he is called to the front it will be because he is ready.
God has called you to the front lines. You have what it takes. You are a warrior.
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3.20-21
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Wild at Heart, Chapter 7: Healing the Wound, part 3
These last two chapters have really hit me, and I've started to realize a few things about my own life. In writing this blog my plan was never to appear to have it all together. In so many ways I'm still on this journey, and those who read this are simply getting a glimpse at the one I'm taking. As I've read and written about the wound and healing it I've seen first had how difficult it can be. And at the same time I've started to see just how crucial it is for God to be central in this journey.
"Masculinity is passed from father to son, and then Father to son. Adam, Abraham, Jacob, David, Jesus - they all learned who they were out of their intimacy with God, with the Father. After all 'who can give a man this, his own name? God alone. For no one but God sees what the man is.'"
God must play the most central part in this initiation to manhood. It is only God who can give a man his true name, because it is only God who sees what the man really is. I have recently realized that my dad had his own wounds, and I don't know that he had anyone to help heal them. My dad did the best he could, the best he knew how to, but because of his wounds, there were gaps in my life. And so God brought some other men, in the form of mentors and brothers, to fill in some of the gaps. But even they can't fill them all in.
Recently as I've talked with some of them about things at the end of the conversations I'm feeling about in the same place as when I started talking with them. The questions I've asked haven't really been answered, and it's left me very frustrated and feeling like they really just don't care. But that isn't the case. The issue isn't with them, but with me.
A few days ago my wife and I were talking, and as I shared some of those feelings something hit me, the men I've looked to over the past few years for guidance have taken me as far as they can. My dad did what he could, and now these men have done what they can. The rest is up to God. "What God sees when he sees you is the real you, the true you, the man he had in mind when he made you."
I think parents tend to see us as they would like us to become. They have an idea of what we should be. A mentor sees who we are at the moment, and I think sees some of the potential we have in us to become and works to guide us. I think brothers, (not necessarily blood relatives, I have a few guys from college that are more my brother than my actual brother ever will be) have the opportunity to see us most clearly because they are with us side by side through thick and thin. But even then they simply see bits of who we are and what we can become. It is only God who can see us fully as we were meant to be, because God is the one who created us.
"You must ask God what he thinks of you, and you must stay with the question until you have an answer." At one point during college I was sitting alone in the balcony of the Chapel. It had been a rough stretch for one reason or another, don't really remember the specifics, but I remember sitting there in the dark, the light pouring through the stained glass windows didn't illuminate that are too well, and I asked God, "Who am I?" I only got one word that day, "Mine."
"It's a battle to get to this place, and once words like these have been spoken then Enemy rushes in to steal them." It took about three and a half years of college to get to that point, and at that moment my problems didn't go away. Graduated, went months with no job. Finally got a job that was really rough. Went another seven months after that waiting, got a rougher job. And now it's back to one of the most difficult stretches of wilderness I've ever been in. But in this I am learning and I have to admit, journeying onward to the Man of God I was created to be.
"True strength does not come out of bravado. Until we are broken, our life will be self-centered, self-reliant;our strength will be our own. So long as you think you are really something in and of yourself, what will you need God for?... it is out of your brokenness that you discover what you have to offer the community. The false self is never wholly false. These gifts we've been using are often quite true about us, but we've used them to hide behind... When we begin to offer not merely our gifts but our true selves that is when we become powerful. That is when we are ready for battle."
Before we can ever fight, the wound must be healed. There is a reason why wounded soldiers aren't sent to the front lines. There is a reason for basic training. In order to be dangerous warriors they must be healed. In order to be powerful they must be built up, but first they must be torn down, so everything false, everything weak, can be replaced with strength and confidence.
This is what God is working to do in our lives. We're in God's boot camp so to speak. The wounds are healed, the false self and the weakness is broken away, and we are built up as the men He created us to be, ready to step out onto the front lines and face the enemy.
I have been being broken down for years now, this isn't an over night thing, it takes time. But now God is beginning to fill in the final gaps in my life. God is putting in the the last stitches and removing some other ones that have scared up. I'm beginning to know my name.
My name is William Edward Gunsalus;
Servant of Christ;
Minister of the Gospel;
Beloved Son of God the Father Almighty;
Husband to the Proverbs 31 Woman;
Future father of warriors and princesses;
And I will glorify God in this life and the next.
What is your name? You have one that God wants to show you. He created you to be a man of God, and everything in your life, good and bad, He is using to mold you into that man He sees you to be. He doesn't see you as a failure. He doesn't see you as a hopeless waste of time. He sees the Man you can become, the man He has always intended for you to be. He will heal you, give you your name, and make you ready and fit for battle.
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3.20-21
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
"Masculinity is passed from father to son, and then Father to son. Adam, Abraham, Jacob, David, Jesus - they all learned who they were out of their intimacy with God, with the Father. After all 'who can give a man this, his own name? God alone. For no one but God sees what the man is.'"
God must play the most central part in this initiation to manhood. It is only God who can give a man his true name, because it is only God who sees what the man really is. I have recently realized that my dad had his own wounds, and I don't know that he had anyone to help heal them. My dad did the best he could, the best he knew how to, but because of his wounds, there were gaps in my life. And so God brought some other men, in the form of mentors and brothers, to fill in some of the gaps. But even they can't fill them all in.
Recently as I've talked with some of them about things at the end of the conversations I'm feeling about in the same place as when I started talking with them. The questions I've asked haven't really been answered, and it's left me very frustrated and feeling like they really just don't care. But that isn't the case. The issue isn't with them, but with me.
A few days ago my wife and I were talking, and as I shared some of those feelings something hit me, the men I've looked to over the past few years for guidance have taken me as far as they can. My dad did what he could, and now these men have done what they can. The rest is up to God. "What God sees when he sees you is the real you, the true you, the man he had in mind when he made you."
I think parents tend to see us as they would like us to become. They have an idea of what we should be. A mentor sees who we are at the moment, and I think sees some of the potential we have in us to become and works to guide us. I think brothers, (not necessarily blood relatives, I have a few guys from college that are more my brother than my actual brother ever will be) have the opportunity to see us most clearly because they are with us side by side through thick and thin. But even then they simply see bits of who we are and what we can become. It is only God who can see us fully as we were meant to be, because God is the one who created us.
"You must ask God what he thinks of you, and you must stay with the question until you have an answer." At one point during college I was sitting alone in the balcony of the Chapel. It had been a rough stretch for one reason or another, don't really remember the specifics, but I remember sitting there in the dark, the light pouring through the stained glass windows didn't illuminate that are too well, and I asked God, "Who am I?" I only got one word that day, "Mine."
"It's a battle to get to this place, and once words like these have been spoken then Enemy rushes in to steal them." It took about three and a half years of college to get to that point, and at that moment my problems didn't go away. Graduated, went months with no job. Finally got a job that was really rough. Went another seven months after that waiting, got a rougher job. And now it's back to one of the most difficult stretches of wilderness I've ever been in. But in this I am learning and I have to admit, journeying onward to the Man of God I was created to be.
"True strength does not come out of bravado. Until we are broken, our life will be self-centered, self-reliant;our strength will be our own. So long as you think you are really something in and of yourself, what will you need God for?... it is out of your brokenness that you discover what you have to offer the community. The false self is never wholly false. These gifts we've been using are often quite true about us, but we've used them to hide behind... When we begin to offer not merely our gifts but our true selves that is when we become powerful. That is when we are ready for battle."
Before we can ever fight, the wound must be healed. There is a reason why wounded soldiers aren't sent to the front lines. There is a reason for basic training. In order to be dangerous warriors they must be healed. In order to be powerful they must be built up, but first they must be torn down, so everything false, everything weak, can be replaced with strength and confidence.
This is what God is working to do in our lives. We're in God's boot camp so to speak. The wounds are healed, the false self and the weakness is broken away, and we are built up as the men He created us to be, ready to step out onto the front lines and face the enemy.
I have been being broken down for years now, this isn't an over night thing, it takes time. But now God is beginning to fill in the final gaps in my life. God is putting in the the last stitches and removing some other ones that have scared up. I'm beginning to know my name.
My name is William Edward Gunsalus;
Servant of Christ;
Minister of the Gospel;
Beloved Son of God the Father Almighty;
Husband to the Proverbs 31 Woman;
Future father of warriors and princesses;
And I will glorify God in this life and the next.
What is your name? You have one that God wants to show you. He created you to be a man of God, and everything in your life, good and bad, He is using to mold you into that man He sees you to be. He doesn't see you as a failure. He doesn't see you as a hopeless waste of time. He sees the Man you can become, the man He has always intended for you to be. He will heal you, give you your name, and make you ready and fit for battle.
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3.20-21
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Monday, April 15, 2013
Wild at Heart, Chapter 7: Healing the Wound, part 2
"That is the way we are with our wound, especially men. We bury it deep and never take it out again. But take it out we must, or better, enter into it." This is no easy task, I really believe that many refuse to even attempt this. For me its has been difficult to identify the wounds at times. Some are easy and obvious, but others aren't so clear. I'm thinking of the first time I was at the Dead Sea in Israel. It was January, and like most men I didn't use lotion during the winter. The first time I went into the salty water I felt ever crack in the skin on my hands, and most of them I wasn't aware of before that moment.
On the journey to manhood healing is essential, without it we have no other option except to live as posers, putting up a front, and hoping it gets us through life. To be men, we must face out wounds, we must enter them and get to root of them in order that they may be healed. And this is something the enemy works hard to prevent. "The whole false self is an elaborate defense against entering our wounded heart." I just thought of the movie Hitch, Will Smith plays a dating consultant who works to help guys reinvent themselves to win the girl. He guards Himself, presents a false self, and appears to be happy, but really he drives the girl away. It isn't until the end when he realizes that the woman is interested in who he really is, that he is enough, that he wins her. He faces his wound, he enters it, and because of that he is healed and the relationship is saved.
"But a wound unfelt is a wound unhealed. We must go in." In order to be men our wounds must be healed. And in order to be healed they must be felt. We must face the wounds and enter them. And at this point it get's extremely individualized. "There are no formulas with God. The way in which God heals our wound is a deeply personal process. He is a person and he insists on working personally."
How I am healed is not the same way you will be. But there is one commonality for all of our healing, "Healing never happens outside of intimacy with Christ. The healing of our wound flows out of our union with Him." Half way through my junior year of college things began to change for me. I had just gotten out of an almost two year relationship. I had lost sight of priorities and had cut a lot of friends out of my life, and had really neglected my spiritual growth. I remember telling some of the few friends I still had, "I feel like God is running way out in front of my and I'm trying to catch Him. But instead of offering encouragement and slowing down He turns and says, 'Just try and catch me!' and sprints faster to get away."
I knew the relationship needed to end, but I didn't know how to get out of it. We had been together for almost two years, we had talked about marriage (seriously have no idea what I was thinking), and now I just felt stuck. The fall of 2007 I really began to focus on God, really began to pour out to Him. He stepped in ended the relationship, and then on New Years day at around 1:00 am I was alone in my room. I sat there thinking about the last year, thinking about how much it had sucked, and then I just began to pray. I remember telling God how much I wanted this next year to be different. I had already begun to grow closer to Him again, and at that moment He and I began a journey together, running side by side. It began with Philippians 3.13b-14, " forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." And for much of the next few years I poured through the four short, yet powerful, chapters of this incredible letter.
I have found so much healing in those pages, not just for that wound, but for most of the ones I've been dealt. Last January things at the Church I was pastoring got really rough. I was in a board meeting where I quickly found myself on the receiving end of a verbal shotgun that lasted well over an hour. I called my mentor the next day and ended up crying on the phone as he began to put some of the pieces back together. And then I went back to Philippians. I read the book in its entirety every day for a few weeks, each day picking up on something different. And in those moments finding healing and the strength to go on.
As I'm writing this I feel the need to go back into them again, another wound, one of the subtle ones but one of the first I'd received, has been revealed to me, and its time for it to be stitched up.
John mentions four steps in the chapter, that though they will be uniquely fulfilled in each of us, are universal in the healing process. The first is "Surrender". This is where it all begins. There is no healing apart from the stitching done by God, and so we must invite Jesus into our wounds, but we must also meet Him there. Healing cannot be done at a distance, we must work through this with Christ. This is one of those procedures where the patient must be awake and alert in order to be able to respond to what the surgeon is doing for proper healing. "Christ comes to restore and release you, your soul, the true you." As Philippians 1.6 tells us, "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." You were created to be a Man of God, and Christ is at work to make you just that, but we must enter into the wound with Him. To be healed we must surrender.
Step two is to "Grieve". As a pastor I have had the opportunity to share intense moments with people as life came to an end. I've been with a family at the hospital as a wife was told her husband of 60 plus years might not make it through the night. I held her and as she sat and took it all in. I was with a family in a hospice room as they waited for dad and grandpa to take his last breath. I preached his funeral. And one of the things that I shared with them is that grieving is part of the healing process. We must grieve. We something precious is lost or stolen from us, grieving helps to admit the truth that it hurt and it mattered. If we refuse to grieve we reject the pain, we deny the loss, and we never heal. Grieving is key, because grieving says it happened, and grieving works to heal.
Step three is "Letting God Love us". We must let God get really close. "This deep intimate union with Jesus and with his Father is the source of all our healing and all our strength." It is in those moments of deep study of Scripture, of intense prayer, and in moments of silence and solitude with God that the most crucial truths have been spoken into my life. In order for God to sew up the wound He's got to get closer than arm's length, He's got to get face to face with us. We must fall into His arms, or climb up into His lap and curl up. We must allow ourselves to be loved by God. This means vulnerability but it is the safest vulnerability ever because we offer ourselves fully to the hands of the creator. The love of God heals all wounds.
Finally, we must "Forgive". John points out that this is a choice we make, it is never something we feel like doing. Forgiveness is the final step because the other three must happen for us to be able to choose to forgive. I must first surrender to Jesus and enter my wound. As I do I must grieve it. I don't deny that it happened, I don't deny that it hurt, I don't say that it didn't matter. And through all of this, I allow God to love me, to speak truth to me and to heal me. And then we come to this final step, we choose to forgive. Forgiveness doesn't say that it never happened, it doesn't say it was ok, we've already acknowledged it did in our grief. Forgiveness releases those who wounded us and says, "I don't hold this against you." It doesn't mean we will have warm fuzzy feelings for those people, it simply means we let it go, that we aren't imprisoned to it any more. It means the band-aid has been removed, the stitches have done their job, and there is now a beautiful scar.
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3.20-21
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
On the journey to manhood healing is essential, without it we have no other option except to live as posers, putting up a front, and hoping it gets us through life. To be men, we must face out wounds, we must enter them and get to root of them in order that they may be healed. And this is something the enemy works hard to prevent. "The whole false self is an elaborate defense against entering our wounded heart." I just thought of the movie Hitch, Will Smith plays a dating consultant who works to help guys reinvent themselves to win the girl. He guards Himself, presents a false self, and appears to be happy, but really he drives the girl away. It isn't until the end when he realizes that the woman is interested in who he really is, that he is enough, that he wins her. He faces his wound, he enters it, and because of that he is healed and the relationship is saved.
"But a wound unfelt is a wound unhealed. We must go in." In order to be men our wounds must be healed. And in order to be healed they must be felt. We must face the wounds and enter them. And at this point it get's extremely individualized. "There are no formulas with God. The way in which God heals our wound is a deeply personal process. He is a person and he insists on working personally."
How I am healed is not the same way you will be. But there is one commonality for all of our healing, "Healing never happens outside of intimacy with Christ. The healing of our wound flows out of our union with Him." Half way through my junior year of college things began to change for me. I had just gotten out of an almost two year relationship. I had lost sight of priorities and had cut a lot of friends out of my life, and had really neglected my spiritual growth. I remember telling some of the few friends I still had, "I feel like God is running way out in front of my and I'm trying to catch Him. But instead of offering encouragement and slowing down He turns and says, 'Just try and catch me!' and sprints faster to get away."
I knew the relationship needed to end, but I didn't know how to get out of it. We had been together for almost two years, we had talked about marriage (seriously have no idea what I was thinking), and now I just felt stuck. The fall of 2007 I really began to focus on God, really began to pour out to Him. He stepped in ended the relationship, and then on New Years day at around 1:00 am I was alone in my room. I sat there thinking about the last year, thinking about how much it had sucked, and then I just began to pray. I remember telling God how much I wanted this next year to be different. I had already begun to grow closer to Him again, and at that moment He and I began a journey together, running side by side. It began with Philippians 3.13b-14, " forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." And for much of the next few years I poured through the four short, yet powerful, chapters of this incredible letter.
I have found so much healing in those pages, not just for that wound, but for most of the ones I've been dealt. Last January things at the Church I was pastoring got really rough. I was in a board meeting where I quickly found myself on the receiving end of a verbal shotgun that lasted well over an hour. I called my mentor the next day and ended up crying on the phone as he began to put some of the pieces back together. And then I went back to Philippians. I read the book in its entirety every day for a few weeks, each day picking up on something different. And in those moments finding healing and the strength to go on.
As I'm writing this I feel the need to go back into them again, another wound, one of the subtle ones but one of the first I'd received, has been revealed to me, and its time for it to be stitched up.
John mentions four steps in the chapter, that though they will be uniquely fulfilled in each of us, are universal in the healing process. The first is "Surrender". This is where it all begins. There is no healing apart from the stitching done by God, and so we must invite Jesus into our wounds, but we must also meet Him there. Healing cannot be done at a distance, we must work through this with Christ. This is one of those procedures where the patient must be awake and alert in order to be able to respond to what the surgeon is doing for proper healing. "Christ comes to restore and release you, your soul, the true you." As Philippians 1.6 tells us, "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." You were created to be a Man of God, and Christ is at work to make you just that, but we must enter into the wound with Him. To be healed we must surrender.
Step two is to "Grieve". As a pastor I have had the opportunity to share intense moments with people as life came to an end. I've been with a family at the hospital as a wife was told her husband of 60 plus years might not make it through the night. I held her and as she sat and took it all in. I was with a family in a hospice room as they waited for dad and grandpa to take his last breath. I preached his funeral. And one of the things that I shared with them is that grieving is part of the healing process. We must grieve. We something precious is lost or stolen from us, grieving helps to admit the truth that it hurt and it mattered. If we refuse to grieve we reject the pain, we deny the loss, and we never heal. Grieving is key, because grieving says it happened, and grieving works to heal.
Step three is "Letting God Love us". We must let God get really close. "This deep intimate union with Jesus and with his Father is the source of all our healing and all our strength." It is in those moments of deep study of Scripture, of intense prayer, and in moments of silence and solitude with God that the most crucial truths have been spoken into my life. In order for God to sew up the wound He's got to get closer than arm's length, He's got to get face to face with us. We must fall into His arms, or climb up into His lap and curl up. We must allow ourselves to be loved by God. This means vulnerability but it is the safest vulnerability ever because we offer ourselves fully to the hands of the creator. The love of God heals all wounds.
Finally, we must "Forgive". John points out that this is a choice we make, it is never something we feel like doing. Forgiveness is the final step because the other three must happen for us to be able to choose to forgive. I must first surrender to Jesus and enter my wound. As I do I must grieve it. I don't deny that it happened, I don't deny that it hurt, I don't say that it didn't matter. And through all of this, I allow God to love me, to speak truth to me and to heal me. And then we come to this final step, we choose to forgive. Forgiveness doesn't say that it never happened, it doesn't say it was ok, we've already acknowledged it did in our grief. Forgiveness releases those who wounded us and says, "I don't hold this against you." It doesn't mean we will have warm fuzzy feelings for those people, it simply means we let it go, that we aren't imprisoned to it any more. It means the band-aid has been removed, the stitches have done their job, and there is now a beautiful scar.
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3.20-21
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Wild at Heart, Chapter 7: Healing the Wound, part 1
"The deepest desire of our heats is for union with God. God created us for union with himself: This is the original purpose of our lives." John uses this quote from Brennan Manning at the beginning of this chapter. We've all heard the cliches that have tried to communicate this message, but this is the deepest truth of our existence. Our wound is caused when someone presents a false and corrupted image of God to us. Our wound is deepened when we try to fix it ourselves apart from God. And true healing only comes when we find this unity with God.
We crave a soul-to-soul oneness with God, and we were made for this, "ours was meant to be a desperately dependent existence." We were made for unity with God, John points out Jesus saying He is the vine and we are the branches, and apart from Him we can do nothing. Gardening is a hobby of mine, and the stem, that central beam of a plant, is where every branch gets its source of life. Once it falls off or is pruned it withers and dies. We were made to be connected to God, and there is no shame in needing Him, there is no shame in being completely dependent upon Him. Look to the left of the page and you'll see the picture of a man on his knees with a hand raised to heaven. True strength is found in surrender to the Lord of Lords.
Culture has painted to picture of a real man to be a loaner who needs no one. John mentions James Bond and John Wayne. Personally neither one of them does much for me, so I'll use the example of someone who does, Batman. I love Batman, as most men do. He's got the car, the gadgets, the suit, the power and intimidation that men desire. I love Batman because he is the only logically possible hero in the comic universe. If someone were to give me a few billion dollars I would seriously consider getting a Kevlar/titanium suit, become a karate master, and begin fighting crime at night. But as awesome as Batman is, he has issues (and if my brother-in-law, a Marvel/Iron Man fan, ever reads this I'll never hear the end of it).
Batman is a loaner with an unhealed wound. We know the story, parents shot in front of him when he was little, turns his anger into fuel for vengeance, and while he does a good thing by taking out criminals, he lives a lonely life with an unhealed wound. He wears a mask to hide who he really is. He goes it alone and so has to depend on gadgets and skill in order to survive. He wears armor to protect himself. He needs no one, and drives those who care about him away. And this is who we idolize. No one would ever say Batman wasn't a real man, but if we really look at him we have to say he's got a big wound that hasn't healed and because of that he must go it alone.
And fortunately Batman is not the founder of our faith. Instead we have a real man to look to, one who has demonstrated what a life of complete dependence to God looks like, and not only that, but proudly displays it for all to see. Jesus, without question the strongest and most manly man who ever walked the earth, lived in desperate dependence upon His Father. Read what He says in John about His unity with the Father. Look at how He spends His spare time. Listen to how He teaches. As Jesus said, "Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son also does in like manner" (John 5.19).
If we want to be men, then we must follow the example of Christ. After all our purpose in life is to become Christlike, and as we journey towards Christlikeness we are initiated into manhood. The key to being like Christ is unity with God, and in this surrender we find strength. "The true essence of strength is passed to us from God through our union with him." The point is for us to be Men of God, we must be united to Him in order for this to happen.
As we get closer to God we can take off the utility belt, remove the mask, and shed the armor we've donned as we've attempted to go it alone, and as we do this the healing of our wounds can begin. "It is no shame that you need healing; it is no shame to look to another for strength; it is no shame that you feel young and afraid inside. It's not your fault."
For our wounds to be healed we must draw near to the source of life. As I wrote that my mind went to Psalm 1, "How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers! But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season and its leaf does not wither; and in whatever he does, he prospers" (Verses 1-3). We must not listen to the wicked, sinners, or scoffers. These posers have one goal in mind, to convince us to keep the front up, trying to convince us that what is underneath is not good enough and undesirable.
But when we delight in the commands and teachings of God we have a union with Him that our souls desire above all else. We are connected to Him in an unshakable way, and have a constant source of life. We bear fruit and never wither, we prosper because we constantly grow closer to God, even in trials and failures, we grow closer to God because we are intimately united with the Father.
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3.20-21
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
We crave a soul-to-soul oneness with God, and we were made for this, "ours was meant to be a desperately dependent existence." We were made for unity with God, John points out Jesus saying He is the vine and we are the branches, and apart from Him we can do nothing. Gardening is a hobby of mine, and the stem, that central beam of a plant, is where every branch gets its source of life. Once it falls off or is pruned it withers and dies. We were made to be connected to God, and there is no shame in needing Him, there is no shame in being completely dependent upon Him. Look to the left of the page and you'll see the picture of a man on his knees with a hand raised to heaven. True strength is found in surrender to the Lord of Lords.
Culture has painted to picture of a real man to be a loaner who needs no one. John mentions James Bond and John Wayne. Personally neither one of them does much for me, so I'll use the example of someone who does, Batman. I love Batman, as most men do. He's got the car, the gadgets, the suit, the power and intimidation that men desire. I love Batman because he is the only logically possible hero in the comic universe. If someone were to give me a few billion dollars I would seriously consider getting a Kevlar/titanium suit, become a karate master, and begin fighting crime at night. But as awesome as Batman is, he has issues (and if my brother-in-law, a Marvel/Iron Man fan, ever reads this I'll never hear the end of it).
Batman is a loaner with an unhealed wound. We know the story, parents shot in front of him when he was little, turns his anger into fuel for vengeance, and while he does a good thing by taking out criminals, he lives a lonely life with an unhealed wound. He wears a mask to hide who he really is. He goes it alone and so has to depend on gadgets and skill in order to survive. He wears armor to protect himself. He needs no one, and drives those who care about him away. And this is who we idolize. No one would ever say Batman wasn't a real man, but if we really look at him we have to say he's got a big wound that hasn't healed and because of that he must go it alone.
And fortunately Batman is not the founder of our faith. Instead we have a real man to look to, one who has demonstrated what a life of complete dependence to God looks like, and not only that, but proudly displays it for all to see. Jesus, without question the strongest and most manly man who ever walked the earth, lived in desperate dependence upon His Father. Read what He says in John about His unity with the Father. Look at how He spends His spare time. Listen to how He teaches. As Jesus said, "Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son also does in like manner" (John 5.19).
If we want to be men, then we must follow the example of Christ. After all our purpose in life is to become Christlike, and as we journey towards Christlikeness we are initiated into manhood. The key to being like Christ is unity with God, and in this surrender we find strength. "The true essence of strength is passed to us from God through our union with him." The point is for us to be Men of God, we must be united to Him in order for this to happen.
As we get closer to God we can take off the utility belt, remove the mask, and shed the armor we've donned as we've attempted to go it alone, and as we do this the healing of our wounds can begin. "It is no shame that you need healing; it is no shame to look to another for strength; it is no shame that you feel young and afraid inside. It's not your fault."
For our wounds to be healed we must draw near to the source of life. As I wrote that my mind went to Psalm 1, "How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers! But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season and its leaf does not wither; and in whatever he does, he prospers" (Verses 1-3). We must not listen to the wicked, sinners, or scoffers. These posers have one goal in mind, to convince us to keep the front up, trying to convince us that what is underneath is not good enough and undesirable.
But when we delight in the commands and teachings of God we have a union with Him that our souls desire above all else. We are connected to Him in an unshakable way, and have a constant source of life. We bear fruit and never wither, we prosper because we constantly grow closer to God, even in trials and failures, we grow closer to God because we are intimately united with the Father.
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3.20-21
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Monday, April 8, 2013
Wild at Heart, Chapter 6: The Father's voice, part 4
"From the place of our wounding we construct a false self. We find a few gifts that work for us, and we try to live off them." From there we play it safe. We don't take risks, we don't attempt battles we aren't sure to win. We depend on a few talents, and not on strength. We try to live, but we end up just existing. A wound takes the life out of you.
John quotes Brennan Manning as he talks about the impostor that is created as a defense against pain, and then points out, "The impostor is our plan for salvation. So God must take it away." We take the wound and cover it up with an band-aid, which we cover with a sleeve. We try to get by with our own field dressing, hoping that we can somehow make it through the rest of the war with no one finding out we've been hit. But a wounded warrior isn't fighting to his fullest potential.
"Our false self, our plan for redemption, seems so right to us. It shields us from pain and secures us a little love and admiration. But the false self is a lie; the whole plan is built on a pretense. It's a deadly trap. God loves us too much to leave us there... He will take away all that you've leaned upon to bring life." We've all been there, we've made our plans, secured a few things, and used some talent to make it, but we all know that this hasn't satisfied us. We all know that we've still felt empty and like something was missing. We're all aware of the wound that keeps us where we are, that prevents us from getting to where we know we could and should be. And God loves us too much to let us stay there. And so He begins to work on bringing us to where He created us to be.
Everything falls apart. "This is the critical moment in a man's life, when all he has counted on comes crashing down.. what is he to do?... The true test of a man, the beginning of his redemption, actually starts when he can no longer rely on what he's used all his life. The real journey begins when the false self fails." It is in this moment that we can begin to learn who we really are. It is here that we can begin to see that we have what it takes. "This is a very dangerous moment, when God seems set against everything that has meant life to us. Satan spies his opportunity, and leaps to accuse God in our hearts."
This is where I have found myself. I have a call to ministry as a vocation that I haven't been able to do much with recently. And I have felt like God has been against me. I've even accused God, saying things like, "Why are you making it so hard for me to do what You've called me to do?" And we've all said, or at the very least thought, "God, you could fix this in five minutes if you wanted to." This thinking is the enemy tempting us to rely on us. If he can make us think that God doesn't care, or worse that God is against us, then we'll continue to live with our band-aid.
But the thing we must remember is that God works out of love. Everything He does is because He loves us. He has given us an invitation to be all that He created us to be, "We can choose to do it ourselves, or we can wait for God to bring it all down." We can choose to willingly let Him pull off the band-aid and begin to stitch us up, or we can wait until we have no where else to turn. The time only makes the wound worse and the healing longer and more intense. Either way, "Losing the false self is painful." It isn't fun to take a band-aid off, and the cleaning and stitching aren't the most pleasant experiences either, but if we choose to willingly come to God it goes a lot easier.
We all have been wounded. Try as we might, there is no healing to be found, and therefore no real life, apart from God. Anything we fill the void with will never satisfy or heal. "A man without his true love, his live, his God, will find another... we must take our ache to him. For only in God will we find the healing of our wound."
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3.20-21
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
John quotes Brennan Manning as he talks about the impostor that is created as a defense against pain, and then points out, "The impostor is our plan for salvation. So God must take it away." We take the wound and cover it up with an band-aid, which we cover with a sleeve. We try to get by with our own field dressing, hoping that we can somehow make it through the rest of the war with no one finding out we've been hit. But a wounded warrior isn't fighting to his fullest potential.
"Our false self, our plan for redemption, seems so right to us. It shields us from pain and secures us a little love and admiration. But the false self is a lie; the whole plan is built on a pretense. It's a deadly trap. God loves us too much to leave us there... He will take away all that you've leaned upon to bring life." We've all been there, we've made our plans, secured a few things, and used some talent to make it, but we all know that this hasn't satisfied us. We all know that we've still felt empty and like something was missing. We're all aware of the wound that keeps us where we are, that prevents us from getting to where we know we could and should be. And God loves us too much to let us stay there. And so He begins to work on bringing us to where He created us to be.
Everything falls apart. "This is the critical moment in a man's life, when all he has counted on comes crashing down.. what is he to do?... The true test of a man, the beginning of his redemption, actually starts when he can no longer rely on what he's used all his life. The real journey begins when the false self fails." It is in this moment that we can begin to learn who we really are. It is here that we can begin to see that we have what it takes. "This is a very dangerous moment, when God seems set against everything that has meant life to us. Satan spies his opportunity, and leaps to accuse God in our hearts."
This is where I have found myself. I have a call to ministry as a vocation that I haven't been able to do much with recently. And I have felt like God has been against me. I've even accused God, saying things like, "Why are you making it so hard for me to do what You've called me to do?" And we've all said, or at the very least thought, "God, you could fix this in five minutes if you wanted to." This thinking is the enemy tempting us to rely on us. If he can make us think that God doesn't care, or worse that God is against us, then we'll continue to live with our band-aid.
But the thing we must remember is that God works out of love. Everything He does is because He loves us. He has given us an invitation to be all that He created us to be, "We can choose to do it ourselves, or we can wait for God to bring it all down." We can choose to willingly let Him pull off the band-aid and begin to stitch us up, or we can wait until we have no where else to turn. The time only makes the wound worse and the healing longer and more intense. Either way, "Losing the false self is painful." It isn't fun to take a band-aid off, and the cleaning and stitching aren't the most pleasant experiences either, but if we choose to willingly come to God it goes a lot easier.
We all have been wounded. Try as we might, there is no healing to be found, and therefore no real life, apart from God. Anything we fill the void with will never satisfy or heal. "A man without his true love, his live, his God, will find another... we must take our ache to him. For only in God will we find the healing of our wound."
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3.20-21
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Wild at Heart, Chapter 6: The Father's Voice, part 3
"There comes a time when you have to leave all that is familiar and go on into the unknown with God." In order to be a Man of God, we have got to get alone with God. In order to be alone with God we must trust Him and follow Him into the unknown. It can be a bit frightening, because it involves us giving up the idea of control. It can be difficult to do because God will stretch us, He has to in order for us to become who He created us to be, and since this is initiation its purpose is to test us so we realize we are powerful and have what it takes.
But the journey doesn't begin with a test of strength. Instead it begins with something we are very aware of. The journey into manhood begins with our wound.
"Men are taught over and over when they are boys that a wound is shameful... A wound that stops you from continuing to play is a girlish wound. He who is truly a man keeps walking, dragging his guts behind." I know I'm not the only one who has gotten something along those lines somewhere along the way. Right now I keep thinking of the scene in Night at the Museum where Larry first encounters the miniature figures, who have tripped him and tied him down with his head on the railroad tracks. He's told to "Quit whining and just take it like a man!"
Men are taught to be tough, to suck it up and not cry when we fall and scrap our knee. But a man must be able to acknowledge a wound, otherwise it can never heal. "That sort of misunderstanding is why for most of us, our wound is an immense source of shame. A man's not supposed to get hurt' he's certainly not supposed to let it really matter... And so most men minimize their wound... Or perhaps they'll admit it happened, but deny it was a wound because they deserved it... The only thing more tragic than the tragedy that happens to us is the way we handle it."
Many of us have the mentality that wounds are shameful, that real men don't get hurt, that pain is a concept foreign to a man. We cover it with a band-aid hoping that it's enough to cover it so we can hide it, but it doesn't heal. Untreated wounds get infected and cause more complications. And this is what happens to many men. It happened to me.
I'm not going to share the details on the internet for the world to see, but most of what I did was denying it. I refused to talk about it or admit it because of how other people would be viewed (that probably makes it sound like it's a lot worse than it is). My wound is hard to describe, even if I were to put it into words. But I guess the best way to put it is feeling like the least important, like nothing I did was good enough, and that by doing what God had called me to do meant losing the support of others.
Anyway, I just kind of blew it all off. Never talked about it with anyone until I got married, and even then my wife had to drag a lot of it out of me at first. Even now it's hard for me to even share this much. A lot of it I haven't really even put together until the last few weeks, and in that time I've started to see why God has brought me here. "God is fiercely committed to you, to the restoration and release of your masculine heart. But a wound that goes unacknowledged and unwept is a wound that cannot heal. A wound you've embraced is a wound that cannot heal. A wound you think you deserved is a wound that cannot heal... Most men deny their wound - deny that it happened, deny that it hurt, certainly deny that it's shaping the way the live today. And so God's initiation of a man must take a very cunning course... He will wound us in the very place where we have been wounded."
The feelings of being the least important, and not good enough, have been big in my life over the last few years. I graduated at the top of my class with some of the greatest encouragement from my professors in my ears. Waited, had a rough youth pastor job, followed by more waiting, followed by an even rougher lead pastor job, followed by, and currently in, waiting. Do you have any idea what it's like to fail at something you've been told you'll succeed at? Do you have any idea what it's like to be passed over for jobs that seem perfect, and that you'd be perfect for? Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to have people want you to have experience that no one will let you get? You feel pretty unimportant and not good enough.
And you ask a lot of questions, "God, why did you let this happen to me?" "God, why won't you just open a door?" "God, why ... ?" fill in the blank. These questions are easy to ask because it's easy to whine. These questions give all the responsibility to God and don't challenge us to be men. These are the questions that result from the band-aid, and these questions, from my experience, never get answered, and never bring healing.
"To enter into a journey of initiation with God requires a new set of questions: What are you trying to teach me here? What issues in my heart are you trying to raise through this? What is it you want me to see? What are you asking me to let go of? In truth, God has been trying to initiate you for a long time. What is in the way is how you've mishandled your wound and the life you've constructed as a result."
As we begin this initiation with God real healing can begin. God will stitch up the wound so that it becomes a scar. Scars are a sign of healing, scars tell a story, and scars don't hurt. But in order to stitch it up, God has to rip the band-aid off, and then clean out the wound. Then, and only then, can He begin to sew.
If we are to become Men of God, we must be initiated by God, and for that to begin, our wounds must be healed. God wants to heal you, God will heal you, but first He has to uncover the wound. You have to acknowledge it. He has to clean it. You have to face it. He has to stitch it up. Will you let Him?
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3.20-21
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
But the journey doesn't begin with a test of strength. Instead it begins with something we are very aware of. The journey into manhood begins with our wound.
"Men are taught over and over when they are boys that a wound is shameful... A wound that stops you from continuing to play is a girlish wound. He who is truly a man keeps walking, dragging his guts behind." I know I'm not the only one who has gotten something along those lines somewhere along the way. Right now I keep thinking of the scene in Night at the Museum where Larry first encounters the miniature figures, who have tripped him and tied him down with his head on the railroad tracks. He's told to "Quit whining and just take it like a man!"
Men are taught to be tough, to suck it up and not cry when we fall and scrap our knee. But a man must be able to acknowledge a wound, otherwise it can never heal. "That sort of misunderstanding is why for most of us, our wound is an immense source of shame. A man's not supposed to get hurt' he's certainly not supposed to let it really matter... And so most men minimize their wound... Or perhaps they'll admit it happened, but deny it was a wound because they deserved it... The only thing more tragic than the tragedy that happens to us is the way we handle it."
Many of us have the mentality that wounds are shameful, that real men don't get hurt, that pain is a concept foreign to a man. We cover it with a band-aid hoping that it's enough to cover it so we can hide it, but it doesn't heal. Untreated wounds get infected and cause more complications. And this is what happens to many men. It happened to me.
I'm not going to share the details on the internet for the world to see, but most of what I did was denying it. I refused to talk about it or admit it because of how other people would be viewed (that probably makes it sound like it's a lot worse than it is). My wound is hard to describe, even if I were to put it into words. But I guess the best way to put it is feeling like the least important, like nothing I did was good enough, and that by doing what God had called me to do meant losing the support of others.
Anyway, I just kind of blew it all off. Never talked about it with anyone until I got married, and even then my wife had to drag a lot of it out of me at first. Even now it's hard for me to even share this much. A lot of it I haven't really even put together until the last few weeks, and in that time I've started to see why God has brought me here. "God is fiercely committed to you, to the restoration and release of your masculine heart. But a wound that goes unacknowledged and unwept is a wound that cannot heal. A wound you've embraced is a wound that cannot heal. A wound you think you deserved is a wound that cannot heal... Most men deny their wound - deny that it happened, deny that it hurt, certainly deny that it's shaping the way the live today. And so God's initiation of a man must take a very cunning course... He will wound us in the very place where we have been wounded."
The feelings of being the least important, and not good enough, have been big in my life over the last few years. I graduated at the top of my class with some of the greatest encouragement from my professors in my ears. Waited, had a rough youth pastor job, followed by more waiting, followed by an even rougher lead pastor job, followed by, and currently in, waiting. Do you have any idea what it's like to fail at something you've been told you'll succeed at? Do you have any idea what it's like to be passed over for jobs that seem perfect, and that you'd be perfect for? Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to have people want you to have experience that no one will let you get? You feel pretty unimportant and not good enough.
And you ask a lot of questions, "God, why did you let this happen to me?" "God, why won't you just open a door?" "God, why ... ?" fill in the blank. These questions are easy to ask because it's easy to whine. These questions give all the responsibility to God and don't challenge us to be men. These are the questions that result from the band-aid, and these questions, from my experience, never get answered, and never bring healing.
"To enter into a journey of initiation with God requires a new set of questions: What are you trying to teach me here? What issues in my heart are you trying to raise through this? What is it you want me to see? What are you asking me to let go of? In truth, God has been trying to initiate you for a long time. What is in the way is how you've mishandled your wound and the life you've constructed as a result."
As we begin this initiation with God real healing can begin. God will stitch up the wound so that it becomes a scar. Scars are a sign of healing, scars tell a story, and scars don't hurt. But in order to stitch it up, God has to rip the band-aid off, and then clean out the wound. Then, and only then, can He begin to sew.
If we are to become Men of God, we must be initiated by God, and for that to begin, our wounds must be healed. God wants to heal you, God will heal you, but first He has to uncover the wound. You have to acknowledge it. He has to clean it. You have to face it. He has to stitch it up. Will you let Him?
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3.20-21
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Wild at Heart, Chapter 6: The Father's Voice, part 2
"The history of a man's relationship with God is the story of how God calls him out, takes him on a journey and gives him his true name."
Probably my second favorite movie, after Gladiator, is one that I actually only watched the first time because I was bored and it was laying around the house. Secondhand Lions is one of those awesome movies that I feel has been lost in the shuffle. Michael Cain and Robert DuVall play two old brothers, Garth and Hub, who live together in Texas during the 1960's. They spend their days gardening and fishing, with shotguns, and their evenings harmlessly shooting at traveling salesmen.
Then one day at the beginning of the summer of 1962 their niece shows up with her son, Walter, and leaves him there. At first the uncles don't want him around, but over time their attitude changes and they begin to really care for Walter. Early during the movie Michael Cain, Garth, begins to tell Walter the story of the brothers before they ended up in Texas, and we come to find out that these two men have lived quite a life, traveling, fighting wars, and rescuing princesses.
There is one scene where the uncles and Walter are having lunch and four Greasers (remember it's the '60's) come in and start causing trouble. Robert DuVall, Hub, confronts them, gives a similar speech to the one Maximus gives, and then proceeds to fight all four of them and wins. Walter is amazed, he's never seen anything like this before, it's the first time He's ever seen a real man. And now comes my one complaint about the movie.
For some reason the makers of the film decided to go with a shorter version of this scene. To see it you'll have to watch the deleted scenes. After the fight they are back at the house with the greasers, who they have invited for dinner, and before they leave Hub gives them his "What every boy needs to know about being a man" speech. After he finishes he sits down on the porch for a moment and then announces he's going to bed. He says to Walter, "Good night kid." And Walter replies very timidly in the squeaky voice of a young teenage boy,"Walter" he clears his throat and says again more confidently, "It's Walter." Hub replies, "Walter?... It doesn't seem manly enough... How about I call you Walt?" Walter get's a delighted smile on his face and eagerly says, "Ok." And the conversations ends with Hub walking into the house saying, "Good night Walt" as Walter is left smiling sitting with Garth on the porch.
He now has a name, an identity, and his journey into manhood can continue as these two men, who Walter has seen as men, initiate and guide him. They have given him a name, and that name has given him an identity and confidence. Later when his mother, an irresponsible woman, shows up at the uncle's house with her new boy friend, Stan, a poser of a man, and he says, "I've heard a lot about you Walter." Walter says, "Walt, my name's Walt." (this is also in the deleted scenes section). He has a name, that no one will ever take away from him.
We all need someone like Garth and Hub in our lives. We need men who know they are men to help us become men. Men like them give us a name and an identity. They initiate us and answers the questions we've got. But men can only do so much. "Even if your father did his job, he can only take you partway. There comes a time when you have to leave all that is familiar and go on into the unknown with God." "God created us for a unique place in his story and he is committed to bring us back to the original design... Initiation involves a journey and a series of tests, through which we discover our real name and our true place in the story."
Philippians 1.6 says, "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." God created you to be a Man. You have what it takes to become one, and God will finish the work to mold you into the Man of God He created you to be.
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3.20-21
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Probably my second favorite movie, after Gladiator, is one that I actually only watched the first time because I was bored and it was laying around the house. Secondhand Lions is one of those awesome movies that I feel has been lost in the shuffle. Michael Cain and Robert DuVall play two old brothers, Garth and Hub, who live together in Texas during the 1960's. They spend their days gardening and fishing, with shotguns, and their evenings harmlessly shooting at traveling salesmen.
Then one day at the beginning of the summer of 1962 their niece shows up with her son, Walter, and leaves him there. At first the uncles don't want him around, but over time their attitude changes and they begin to really care for Walter. Early during the movie Michael Cain, Garth, begins to tell Walter the story of the brothers before they ended up in Texas, and we come to find out that these two men have lived quite a life, traveling, fighting wars, and rescuing princesses.
There is one scene where the uncles and Walter are having lunch and four Greasers (remember it's the '60's) come in and start causing trouble. Robert DuVall, Hub, confronts them, gives a similar speech to the one Maximus gives, and then proceeds to fight all four of them and wins. Walter is amazed, he's never seen anything like this before, it's the first time He's ever seen a real man. And now comes my one complaint about the movie.
For some reason the makers of the film decided to go with a shorter version of this scene. To see it you'll have to watch the deleted scenes. After the fight they are back at the house with the greasers, who they have invited for dinner, and before they leave Hub gives them his "What every boy needs to know about being a man" speech. After he finishes he sits down on the porch for a moment and then announces he's going to bed. He says to Walter, "Good night kid." And Walter replies very timidly in the squeaky voice of a young teenage boy,"Walter" he clears his throat and says again more confidently, "It's Walter." Hub replies, "Walter?... It doesn't seem manly enough... How about I call you Walt?" Walter get's a delighted smile on his face and eagerly says, "Ok." And the conversations ends with Hub walking into the house saying, "Good night Walt" as Walter is left smiling sitting with Garth on the porch.
He now has a name, an identity, and his journey into manhood can continue as these two men, who Walter has seen as men, initiate and guide him. They have given him a name, and that name has given him an identity and confidence. Later when his mother, an irresponsible woman, shows up at the uncle's house with her new boy friend, Stan, a poser of a man, and he says, "I've heard a lot about you Walter." Walter says, "Walt, my name's Walt." (this is also in the deleted scenes section). He has a name, that no one will ever take away from him.
We all need someone like Garth and Hub in our lives. We need men who know they are men to help us become men. Men like them give us a name and an identity. They initiate us and answers the questions we've got. But men can only do so much. "Even if your father did his job, he can only take you partway. There comes a time when you have to leave all that is familiar and go on into the unknown with God." "God created us for a unique place in his story and he is committed to bring us back to the original design... Initiation involves a journey and a series of tests, through which we discover our real name and our true place in the story."
Philippians 1.6 says, "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." God created you to be a Man. You have what it takes to become one, and God will finish the work to mold you into the Man of God He created you to be.
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3.20-21
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
Friday, April 5, 2013
Wild at Heart, Chapter 6: The Father's Voice, part 1
"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius; Commander of the Armies of the North; General of the Felix Legions; loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius; father to a murdered son; husband to a murdered wife; and I will have my vengeance, in this life or in the next."
That is perhaps the greatest line from any movie ever. I haven't met a guy yet who doesn't love it. I had one friend in college who actually took a name tag and below "Hi my name is..." wrote that line. Men love the movie Gladiator, and more specifically this line, because it is a man who knows he is a man. He knows who he is, and he knows he has what it takes. That is what every man wants.
"A man needs to know his name. He needs to know he's got what it takes. And I don't mean 'know' in the modernistic, rationalistic sense... I mean a deep knowing, the kind of knowing that comes when you have been there, entered in, experienced first hand in an unforgettable way."
Maximus knows his name, and he shares it with confidence when asked. Every man wants to be able to do that. But I don't know of many who can. Honestly, I don't know that I can. "Where does a man go to learn an answer like that - to learn his true name, a name that can never be taken from him?" That answer only comes from initiation.
Initiation is essential, and it's something that we need desperately to get back. Initiation teaches a man where he's come from. In it he has faced trials that test him, and has overcome them. It is a journey, and somewhere along the way he has faced his enemy. As I read those words my mind went to 1 John 2,"I am writing to you, little children, because your sins have been forgiven you for His name’s sake. I am writing to you, fathers, because you know Him who has been from the beginning. I am writing to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one. I have written to you, children, because you know the Father. I have written to you, fathers, because you know Him who has been from the beginning. I have written to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the evil one." (verses 12-14)
The journey begins with forgiveness, there is struggle along it, and at the end is such intimacy with God and with that intimacy comes the answer every man desires to give. John points out the the Church has boiled initiation down to making moral men, "Morality is a good thing, but morality is never the point." Simply learning to be moral isn't what we want or desire as men. Morality comes from our strength, a man is moral, but a man is created to be so much more. Initiation isn't necessary for morality, but it is essential for a boy to become a man.
"Despite a man's past and the failures of his own father to initiate him, God could take him on that journey, provide what was missing." Many of us have never been initiated into manhood. For one reason or another we have been left to fend for ourselves. We don't have the answer we so desperately want, but let me encourage you, it is possible to find it. God remains committed to initiating men.
This chapter, so far this time around, has spoken to me the most. I'm still processing a lot that has gone on this week, there has been some discouragement, the desire to give up, and then at the same time the motivation to keep going. It hasn't been easy but two things have been on my mind. The first is a verse from Ephesians 3, "Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." which I will add at the closing of each post as a reminder to each of us that God can and will lead us into all that He created us to be. And the second is the song "10,000 Reasons" by Matt Redman.
I want to see God do far more in my life than I have ever thought possible. He will do more than I could ever ask so I must not hesitate to ask God to work in me, to mold me into the likeness of Christ, and to make me the Man of God that He created me to be. And no matter what I face, I want to praise Him. This journey of initiation is not an easy one, but it is worth it. And God is leading me every step of the way. And beyond that, we are on this journey together, so let us praise Him together.
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3.20-21
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
That is perhaps the greatest line from any movie ever. I haven't met a guy yet who doesn't love it. I had one friend in college who actually took a name tag and below "Hi my name is..." wrote that line. Men love the movie Gladiator, and more specifically this line, because it is a man who knows he is a man. He knows who he is, and he knows he has what it takes. That is what every man wants.
"A man needs to know his name. He needs to know he's got what it takes. And I don't mean 'know' in the modernistic, rationalistic sense... I mean a deep knowing, the kind of knowing that comes when you have been there, entered in, experienced first hand in an unforgettable way."
Maximus knows his name, and he shares it with confidence when asked. Every man wants to be able to do that. But I don't know of many who can. Honestly, I don't know that I can. "Where does a man go to learn an answer like that - to learn his true name, a name that can never be taken from him?" That answer only comes from initiation.
Initiation is essential, and it's something that we need desperately to get back. Initiation teaches a man where he's come from. In it he has faced trials that test him, and has overcome them. It is a journey, and somewhere along the way he has faced his enemy. As I read those words my mind went to 1 John 2,"I am writing to you, little children, because your sins have been forgiven you for His name’s sake. I am writing to you, fathers, because you know Him who has been from the beginning. I am writing to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one. I have written to you, children, because you know the Father. I have written to you, fathers, because you know Him who has been from the beginning. I have written to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the evil one." (verses 12-14)
The journey begins with forgiveness, there is struggle along it, and at the end is such intimacy with God and with that intimacy comes the answer every man desires to give. John points out the the Church has boiled initiation down to making moral men, "Morality is a good thing, but morality is never the point." Simply learning to be moral isn't what we want or desire as men. Morality comes from our strength, a man is moral, but a man is created to be so much more. Initiation isn't necessary for morality, but it is essential for a boy to become a man.
"Despite a man's past and the failures of his own father to initiate him, God could take him on that journey, provide what was missing." Many of us have never been initiated into manhood. For one reason or another we have been left to fend for ourselves. We don't have the answer we so desperately want, but let me encourage you, it is possible to find it. God remains committed to initiating men.
This chapter, so far this time around, has spoken to me the most. I'm still processing a lot that has gone on this week, there has been some discouragement, the desire to give up, and then at the same time the motivation to keep going. It hasn't been easy but two things have been on my mind. The first is a verse from Ephesians 3, "Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." which I will add at the closing of each post as a reminder to each of us that God can and will lead us into all that He created us to be. And the second is the song "10,000 Reasons" by Matt Redman.
I want to see God do far more in my life than I have ever thought possible. He will do more than I could ever ask so I must not hesitate to ask God to work in me, to mold me into the likeness of Christ, and to make me the Man of God that He created me to be. And no matter what I face, I want to praise Him. This journey of initiation is not an easy one, but it is worth it. And God is leading me every step of the way. And beyond that, we are on this journey together, so let us praise Him together.
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3.20-21
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
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