No stage is without its struggles, and it is crucial for a King to be a Warrior first because there are many battles he'll have to fight. And it is crucial to remember that not all battles are against a physical, or external enemy. Some of them, the most crucial, come from within. The quote I'm about to share made me think of a line from Gladiator. Right before Commodus kills his father he begins to list the virtues that he possesses, virtues he feels his father has over looked in his choice of a successor. "Ambition," he says, "that can be a virtue when it drives us to excel."
Ambition is defined, "an earnest desire for some type of achievement or distinction, as power, honor, fame, or wealth, and the willingness to strive for its attainment". You have to have a goal in life, there has to be something you are striving for, and willing to sacrifice for. Some are good, and others are bad. As we see with Commodus, his ambition is for power and glory for his own luxury. And even the ambitions that seem good can be flawed. John shares a story about a business man whose ambition was to pastor one of the largest churches in the world, it never happened, and John said it probably didn't because that was the goal.
"The young seminarian's ambitions may have been noble, but then again, our ambitions will be refined by fire, must be refined, and setting out to hold a great position will not stand the test. Setting out to serve, to bring the kingdom of God, to fight for the freedom of others, yes. But greatness for the sake of greatness, that is the way of the world. We should fear becoming a large church, corporation, kingdom. We should be forced into it, by God."
Oh how true that is. I used to want to pastor a mega church, now I really don't think I'd ever want to under take that task. I love the idea of being able to disciple hundreds of people. I love the idea of having the resources and man power to be able to do a lot of good work for the Kingdom. But think about all that would be involved with that. Think of the relationship ability you lose. Think about how easy it would be to be prideful. Who would ask for that? Sadly, many do, and many who desire it, never get there.
"If we are going to do the Lord's work in the Lord's way, we must take Jesus' teaching seriously: he does not want us to press on to the greatest place unless He Himself makes it impossible to do otherwise." At this point, the only way I'd pastor a church of hundreds is if God gave me no other choice. I shared in a post last week that I don't know if I want to ever pastor a church again. And I'm not trying to sound humble and holy, but if that is what God wants me to do, He's going to have to push me into it.
This has to be the attitude a King has, and again, I'm not trying to exalt myself. "Humility is essential to the outcome of whether or not a man will make a good King. It is one of the truest expressions of that yieldedness I described earlier... arrogance has been the Achilles' heel of every bad King. Saul. Herod. Napoleon. Stalin. They were not yielded men, not humble in any way." Think of the damage these men did, and think of how they fell. The Bible warns about pride over and over.
Proverbs 29.23, "A man’s pride will bring him low, but a humble spirit will obtain honor."
Proverbs 16.18, "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling."
Proverbs 11.2, "When pride comes, then comes dishonor, but with the humble is wisdom."
Proverbs 8.13, "The fear of the Lord is to hate evil; pride and arrogance and the evil way and the perverted mouth, I hate."
The proud have no business in power. The attain it and feel it because of who they are and what they've done, there is a sense of entitlement that is unbecoming of a King. We have too many like that in power, and too many like that striving for leadership. "Those who yearn to be there should not be, and those who don't want the position are the only ones qualified to hold it." Why did Marcus Aurelius choose Maximus over Commodus? Because Maximus didn't desire power. As Marcus said, "That is why it must be you... But you have not been corrupted by her politics."
Pride is a great danger for any good King. It would be so easy to do so much good, and think it was a result of our own skill and talents. It would be so easy to work hard, and rise through the ranks of leadership and think it was on our own merit. And if we do, we will be brought low. It is crucial that we remain humble. "That is the posture of the noble heart, choosing humility in the very situations we find it so hard to do so. The truth is, either we choose it for ourselves, or our Father will arrange to have us humbled." We must constantly be on guard against pride, other wise our time and effectiveness as Kings will be short lived. But there is something else we must guard against, something possibly even more dangerous.
"Pride is blinding, and pride has brought down many a King. But perhaps the greatest occupational hazard for the King is the profound, utter loneliness of it all. This is something that must be admitted, and understood, for the life of a King is a lonely life. We must see that with compassion or it will lead us to our demise. Yes, pride is a profound test. One that has brought the fall of the greatest of all the angels. Something to be vigilant against. But I do not think that will be the greatest danger for a good King, not for a man who has taken the masculine journey. I think the greatest danger is isolation."
I can attest to this one. Leadership is a lonely role, and sadly for many it's something that is almost unavoidable. In my last ministry assignment I felt this so much. For the first six months, my wife and I weren't married. I would spend all day alone at the office, and all night alone at the house. It was rough. Even once we got married things were still rough. We worked opposite schedules, and we were the youngest people at church by 25 years. We were hours away from friends and family, it wasn't easy. And even the people at church and other pastors who seemed to care couldn't help. Isolation is far too common a thing for leadership.
"For one thing, people don't understand what you bear. They just don't. It's lonely at the top. The loneliness is exacerbated by the fact - it seems almost a law of human organizations, large or small - that blame always moves to the top, justly or unjustly. when there's something to complain about, blame the King. And then there are the hard decisions you have to make as a King, and those will at times offend, and people will pull away from you... Isolation is like a plague of office, and it is not good. The man becomes removed form companionship, from counsel, and from accountability. he begins to see himself as the only one who really understands, the only one with the right to rule, the only one whose opinion is valid. He will tend toward the tyrant at this point. Now, add to this increasing isolation a large dose of loneliness, and boom - the man is a walking target for an affair."
People who aren't in leadership can't understand what leaders go through, or the burdens they carry. They just can't, and quite often they say things with the best intentions that cut deeper than they could ever know. It is in these situations leaders must learn to be ducks, and let the comments role of you like water off a ducks back. My wife bought me a small duck that sat on my desk to serve as a constant reminder of this. Random thought, I like ducks, I really do. When we were at the church the back yard of the house was low and would flood in the winter/spring. There was a duck that would show up and swim in the temporary pond. This goes back to the Lover stage, but I think one way God speaks to me is with ducks. They are entertaining to watch and listen to, and they just make me smile. I didn't realize it at the time, but looking back I see how God was trying to speak to me, "Be a duck." As a leader you must.
And it is also crucial that you find other ducks to fly with. They fly in a "V" to help everyone out. "My sincerest counsel to Kings is, Don't isolate yourself, and don't let it happen to you. Surround yourself with good counselors, and listen to them. Let your allies and colleagues make decisions that affect you. Seek out friendships with a few other men - Kings, if you can find them. Be intentional to fight the isolation. You see, our journey of masculine initiation requires intentionality on our part. We are not passive observers or the process. We must engage."
Think about King David, when does he get in trouble? When he isolates himself, refuses to act like a King, doesn't listen to his counselors, and refuses to be humble. If we are to survive as Kings and rule well, we must be intentional. We must seek friendships and fight for masculine fellowship that is deeper than a thirty minute breakfast meeting with five minutes of prayer thrown in at the end. I've been part of too many fellowship groups that are just that, and yes, the fellowship is nice, but we need something more. We've talked about how guys don't need accountability partners, we need a band of brothers who have our backs and are willing to shed their blood for us.
And we must realize the fact that if we are to continue to advance in our journey we will have to engage. "By the time we have entered the stage of the King, the Father will treat us like men, leaving many decisions up to us, choices of whether or not we will continue to mature as men... The process of maturity is one of coming to make ever-more-meaningful decisions for ourselves... By the time we are the age of a King, God will leave many, many choices up to us. You'll notice in Scripture that he allows Kings to make terrible, even disastrous decisions. He will not treat them like children. He remains very much present, and engaged in our journey, but he also allows a bit of distance between us and him to see if we will draw even closer to him. Choosing humility, and choosing against isolation, will sometimes prove to be a very subtle decision, but decisions that we will need to make again and again if we would live well, and survive, as Kings."
We continue to grow and mature, or we get taken out. And it is crucial that we survive as Kings because many lives hang in the balance. Kings rule on behalf of others, and there are many young Warriors out there who need a good King to follow.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
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