Think back to the last "Man Movie" you watched, for me it's been a while, I might have to throw in Gladiator tonight. But most likely, in that movie there was some sort of training that went on. In the opening paragraphs of this chapter John shares a scene from early in Kingdom of Heaven where Godfrey, the father, has been joined on a the road to Jerusalem by his son Balian. At camp in the woods the father begins to train his son to use a sword. "The Warrior is being called out, trained for battle... This is what we long for."
Deep inside all of us, we long for moments like that, and it's why we love watching them so much. We long to be trained and strengthened so that we can join the battle. That's what warriors do, and the warrior is hardwired into who we are as men. The time of the Cowboy is about adventure and hard work, and both of those prepare us for, and lead us into, the stage of the Warrior. "The shift begins when we accept a new way of looking at the world, and our place in it. We are at war, and our Father and elder Brother are great Warriors, and much of what we encounter is in fact either our Warrior training or a battle we must fight, or, most often, both at the same time."
It's crucial that we set aside the Cowboy and move on to becoming Warriors. The war won't go away just because we ignore it and refuse to fight, evil will just have the opportunity to destroy more that is good and pure. We must become who we were born to be. "You don't have to put the Warrior in a boy - it's there, hardwired into him."
"You might see the Warrior emerging as a boy makes weapons out of anything he can get his hands on... You might see the Warrior emerge in a quieter boy through a game of chess, or Scrabble, just as fiercely... a boy's heroes are almost always warriors - Spider-Man, Batman, the Jedi, army men, the samurai. Yes, some boys seem to have more Warrior in them than others, but if we believe gender runs deep (as Genesis 1 implies), and if we believe a man is made in the image of a Warrior God, then we will find the Warrior if we look for it, and then we must be intentional to encourage it and direct it into maturity."
I haven't really put words to it before now, but my younger brother and I fit the two sides of this spectrum. I make (present tense) weapons out of anything I can get my hands on. I was a wrestler and weight lifter. My little brother on the other hand doesn't do stuff like that. He played organized sports for a while but has since given them up. I don't recall him ever making weapons, or come to think of it, playing with the toy ones I had when I was younger (ok, still do have some of them). But he's part of the academic challenge team, and you've got to be crazy to want to play any sort of board game with him. When I wrestled, and really got comfortable with my style, I didn't go for the pin, I went after guys and worked to score as many points as I possibly could. I wanted the technical fall, where you win by 15 points. When it comes to board games my little brother doesn't want to just win, he wants to destroy you completely. Both are the warrior emerging, and it must be encouraged to come out.
"When the boy is young, encouraging the Warrior is pretty simple: just don't shut it down. Wrestle with him, often, play games with him and let him win. Not all the time - he needs to know Dad is still a strong man to be respected. But more often than not, let him triumph. He'll want to play Warrior games like cowboys and Indians - go for it. Jump in. Snowball fights, pillow fights - heck, he'll come up with all this stuff. You just go with it. Provide him with Warrior stories. There are plenty in the Bible, and those will capture the imagination of the boy, show him that God is exactly the kind of King he's looking for. (A Christianity of 'just be a nice boy' has emasculated many a man, and it will not capture the heart of a boy.) The books and movies you choose - make sure they have noble Warriors in them... Let him dress up as a Warrior - Batman costumes, camo, Jedi knight. Let him destroy stuff... It's a release of sorts, and permission to be fierce in a way that doesn't do inappropriate damage. Now, if a boy is knocking down his brother, or terrorizing the dog, that's a different story, that's where we want to teach him self-restraint and respect for others... you have a strength, and it is good. Use it well. Let the boy blow stuff up. Let him play with weapons."
Let it happen, encourage it. These are training opportunities, take advantage of them. Encourage the Warrior, and show him how to be one. Let him know that it's ok, and more importantly, that it's essential. But he must also know that there is responsibility that comes with this, and that is why he must be trained to use it correctly. Shape him into the noble Warrior who stands for truth against evil.
As I said, my brother and I are different. "Some boys lean more toward a quite side, and that's okay. Just don't encourage passivity; lead him out... You can cultivate this in any boy. And for that matter, if a boy tends toward violence, you'll want to watch that as well, channeling the Warrior into safer grounds like sports, perhaps a punching bag in the basement... Give it a place." Every boy is a Warrior needing to be trained. Show him that his strength is good, that aggression is needed. Teach him control and channel it so that it is used properly. Train him.
"In the Cowboy Ranger stage, we seek to answer the Question: Do I have what it takes? In the Warrior stage, there is a new lesson to be learned: You are dangerous and powerful. Use it for good.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
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