As with any stage of the masculine journey, we must face the reality of wounds. Even warriors, a symbol of strength and power, courage and resilience, are not immune to wounds.
"The heart of the Warrior is wounded in a boy and in a young man when he is told that aggression is flat-out wrong, unchristian, that niceness equals godliness. He is wounded when his attempts to rise up as a Warrior are mocked, or crushed. He is wounded when he has no one to train him, no king to give his allegiance to and no cause to fight for... The heart of the Warrior is wounded in a young man when he attempts to be a Warrior and is shamed."
How many of us have been taken out by one of these wounds? I've felt my attempts be crushed and felt as if I've had no king or cause. It's disheartening to feel completely alone, and it's the thing that has made me feel like giving up more than anything. And it doesn't help when the people you thought cared offer criticism that kicks you while you're down instead of a hand to help you up. When failure is met with no encouragement what is a young warrior to think of himself?
I shared in a recent post my experience of ministry over the past few years. I'm not going to go over it all again, but that experience was extremely wounding. For the past year I've wondered a lot if I'm ever going to get another chance. I've wondered if any king will be willing to give a wounded warrior another chance to fight. It has been difficult to keep going and keep hoping. But in this time I have seen how a king should react, and I have learned what I'm looking for if the chance ever comes. I'm praying it does.
Some of you are in similar positions. You've tried and been knocked down. You feel alone and like a failure, and you're wondering if it's just time to give up and get ready to endure life. Don't give up. I'm not, though I really want to some days. We are warriors, and warriors don't surrender. Keep fighting with me. I have an email address specifically for this blog; you can find it on the left side of the bottom of this page. I've shared bits of my struggles on here, and if I can pray for you or help you please let me know. We are in this together. We have to have each other’s backs and fight side by side.
"Never winning at anything, getting bullied, pushed around, and outright beat up has crushed many a young Warrior's heart, sent him into passivity. 'I’ll never try that again.'... though we don't win every fight there are still things worth fighting for."
A couple years ago I had the chance to help out with the local high schools wrestling team. I remember one day a couple of the bigger buys weren't at practice and so the heavy weight (in high school I think the weight class is 221-285 pounds) had to work out with a kid who weighed somewhere in the 160-170 pound range. Yeah there is a pretty significant weight difference, but if the lighter guy is experienced it might not be that big an issue. Sadly this kid had only been wrestling for a couple of months. I sat on the wall watching him get pushed around and belittled by the heavier guy, and after the drill was over he went and sat on the wall with his head between his knees.
I went over to him, sat next to him, and put my arm around his shoulder. I don't remember exactly what I said to him, but it was something to the effect of, "He put a beating on you, and you kept going back for more and taking it. Great job." He ended up getting a take down on me towards the end of the season, and it was awesome. We have to make sure we take advantage of the opportunities like that. We have to do everything we can to heal wounds the moment they start. We can't prevent all wounds, but if we pay attention we can bring quick healing to some. Sadly there are wounds we'll never know about. Some guys hide there’s out of a sense of shame, or even loyalty, that's what mine were.
"The wound is doubled when the beating comes from his own father, or perhaps an older brother. For that matter, the Warrior is wounded when a boy has to become a fighter too soon, as is the case when his father tells him, 'Don't be such a crybaby' and sends him back out to face a pack of boys who are bullying him, or when he lives in a volatile home where the shouting and anger make it clear that it's every man for himself. Or when he doesn't get to win at anything. My sons love to wrestle, but they would soon lose heart if every time I flipped them over and pinned them. On the other hand, if the father is passive, how will the young man learn to be a Warrior? Nothing rouses anger, frustration, and mounting disrespect in the heart of a boy as does his father's passivity."
If you want your son to be a warrior, he has to see it in you. John mentions The Patriot, and how the father's passivity leads to his sons disrespect and one of their deaths. On the other hand there is a scene early in 300 where we see Leonidas training his son. The Spartans were tough, and their sons were taught to be warriors very early in life. In the scene we the father training his son, but it isn't a harsh and disheartening thing. He gives resistance, but allows the boy to learn and work moves. He doesn't just roll over and give up, but he doesn't push him around and knock him down. If a boy is to be a warrior he must see his father, or another man who steps in to fill in the gap, as one, and be trained to be one as well.
"Finally, the heart of the Warrior is wounded, or abandoned, or sometimes let loose in very bad ways, when the young man does not have a King and a cause to serve." This is the reality for many, many, boys and men today. Because we've lost the initiation ritual there are so few men to guide and train boys. They have strength that is never channeled, the they wander trying to prove themselves in a futile search for meaning. A man needs a mission, a young man needs a leader to follow. Without these two things there is a deep wound that is given.
A king can step in and bring healing to other wounds. He can offer encouragement, and he can channel the strength and passion of a warrior so it can benefit a greater cause. A warrior needs a king. If your father was, or is, absent and there is no other man for you to look to there is still hope. "God is the Master in every stage. He is the Father when we are the Beloved Sons, a he is our King when we are Warriors... Jesus no longer had Joseph around when he entered his Warrior stage. On a human level, he was fatherless. But we know he was no alone. We, too, have a Father who is a great Warrior, and he will raise us as Warriors, if we'll let him, if we will embrace the initiation that comes with this stage. There is a Warrior in you, by the way. However it has been handled up to this point in your life, it can be restored, recovered, and made strong. The promise of Scripture is that the Father is raising us to be sons just like Jesus, meaning, you shall be as valiant as he was."
God has not forgotten or abandoned you. You are not alone. He created you to be a might warrior for Him, and if you will allow Him, He will mold you into it. We are called to be like Christ, and just as the Father initiated Jesus, He desires to initiate us. We need to have the same willingness, the same submission, and the same dependence that we see in Jesus. God will initiate us, be our leader, and give us the greatest cause if we will allow Him.
"Father, show me where I have lost heart as a Warrior. What did I miss here? What was wounded, and what was surrendered? Take me back to those times and places when the Warrior in me was shut down. Awaken and restore the Warrior heart in me. Train me. Show me what I have surrendered, where I am waling in passivity. Teach me an unyielding heart. Rouse me. I am willing. I am yours."
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
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