If you're reading the reprint, Fathered By God, this is one of the chapters that has been omitted, and I just looked at the table of contents online, and apparently the previous chapter is as well. I'm not sure why, because they contains some great things. Chapter seven records bits of what John did for his oldest son, Sam, over a year marking a transition from boyhood to being a young man. Over the next couple of days I'm going to play with this chapter, highlight the things that John did, throwing in a few of my own ideas, and hopefully giving all the father's and future fathers who read this, a foundation for helping to initiate their sons in the future.
"The masculine journey has many mile markers to it, many critical moments of transition. One of the most significant is that point in time when a boy leaves behind him the stage of boyhood, and enters into the world of men. I believe this takes place early in the Cowboy stage, and I believe it is one of those transitions meant to have far more intentionality given to it than most of us experienced. 'The ancient societies believed that a boy becomes a man only through ritual and effort - only through the "active intervention of the older men,"' as Robert Bly reminds us. Ritual, and effort - that is what I mean by intentionality."
For too many of us this didn't happen, and we have to change that so the cycle doesn't continue. We must be intentional with our sons so that they can confidently grow into the men they were born to be. This isn't something we can sit by and hope it happens, we have to be intentional, and we need to start thinking about it now. As I said, I'm going to share a little of what John did, and I'll throw in some of the things I've thought of as well.
This is the time when a boy moves from boyhood to young man. He begins to see that he has a part to play in the world, that he has strength to offer, and that he can make a difference. But I think that the most crucial part of this transition is the relationship with the son and the Father. It is at this point in life that I think a young man begins to develop his own faith. He begins to realize that God is personal and that he needs a personal relationship with Him. This step in initiation is vital, because they young man begins his personal journey with God. And hearing from God must be a huge focus at this point.
"God speaks to young men - through trial, prayer, and fasting, and most often in the wilderness... what he speaks becomes a guiding force for their lives." And while a father, or father figure, may still be present, I believe that The Father must begin to really take over in the life of a young man at this point. He is entering the larger story, and being caught up in a life of epic battles and adventures.
Let's be intentional about this incredible gift, and offer it to our sons, and to each other, fathering those who weren't given this privilege, and inviting them into initiation.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
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