The year of initiation culminates in a birthday ceremony marking the passage from boyhood to young man. Ceremony is important; it's a clear beginning and a moment in time that can be looked back on with confidence. The ceremony that John talks about involved three stages.
First it began with a presentation of his son's life made up of pictures from birth to the present. It shows how the boy has grown and changed. Second, the boy shares the story of the Gospel. It's important for a man to know the epic Story of the world, and be able to communicate it. He needs to know how the world was intended to be, how it got messed up, and how redemption came and the role he now plays in the story. Third, there comes the bestowing of words and gifts.
John's wife was the only woman to speak to the boy, and he points out that a mother does play an irreplaceable role in a boy's life, but that this ceremony is marking a passage into the world of men. "The women at this point - especially the mother - are releasing the boy to become a man, releasing him into the fellowship of men. He looks ahead at a company of men, and it is their words and their validation he most needs at this moment." And so men speak to the boy, and not simply encouragement, but affirmation and validation of his manhood.
And it is important to remember that this isn't just another birthday party. This is but a "ceremony followed a year of experiences - tests and trials and achievements. It was something earned, and therefore far more significant... the men who gathered to speak... were the men he had been with during the year, building the corral, going on mission, climbing the Grand. They weren't just offering encouragement... They were men... respected as men, and they were speaking from personal experiences of the young man." This is huge, because it shows that the young man is not on his own, but is not part of a fellowship, an army if you will. He is a valuable member of a force for Good.
"Then came two gifts, again from the men." What they did was present a shotgun, a symbol that the young man is now part of the fellowship because he will join the hunts they go on, but also a reminder that he is dangers and capable of handling a weapon. The second gift is a sword, a symbol of masculine strength. "Because of the power of the symbol, the selection of the sword is important. It has to be real - not a toy. This is not for a boy, but for a young man. It must be sharp, deadly, dangerous - just like true masculinity. It must also be noble, like true masculinity, for part of bestowing the sword at this age is a calling out of the Warrior and the King to come."
I love the idea of the sword, but personally I don't know that I would offer a shotgun. It's not that I'm opposed to guns; I love shooting, and hope at some point to have a piece of ground outside city limits so I'm able to shoot with my sons. But for me it wouldn't capture that meaning. I don't do much hunting anymore, and have never done upland bird hunting. Instead what I want to do as a symbol of joining the fellowship of men is to offer a shield.
If you've read enough of my stuff you'll probably have picked up on the fact that I'm a huge fan of the Spartans. I won't go into detail here, but they were arguably the greatest warriors ever (if you remove gun powder they I'm confident we can remove the arguably). Btu the key to Spartan strength and victory was not in their intense physical training, though it was important, but in the phalanx. They fought side by side, shields overlapping, and formed an impenetrable wall that defended each other. I've found a place where I can buy replica Spartan shields, and that is what I plan to give my sons when they are ready to join the phalanx.
"We must be intentional about a boy's passage into young manhood, and it must be tailored to the boy and his needs. I believe whatever the details; it needs to involve test and trial of a physical, emotional, and spiritual nature. That it needs to be done by the father - if he is available - or another significant man, and that it occurs best in the fellowship of men." But it is crucial to remember that this doesn't all have to be a formal thing. Every step doesn't have to be planned out. Instead we have to present and attentive for all of the informal moments. "When a father and a son spend time together, and when men spend time together - whether it's doing homework or shooting hoops in the street or working on the car or pheasant hunting - something passes between them, deep and unspoken, the truest form of initiation there can be."
Be present, be attentive, and celebrate.
I almost forgot, after the gifts are bestowed the most important aspect takes place. The fellowship gathers around the young man and prayers over him. The young man has seen them pray before, undoubtedly has been prayed for by them before, but this is different. This prayer is for one of their own.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
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