"I would set the beginning of the Cowboy (or Ranger) stage in early adolescence - around age twelve or thirteen - and suggest it carries into the midtwenties. Though I would be quick to remind you that the stages overlap. What little tike doesn't want adventure, as he races his down a hill or learns to climb a tree? What man of fifty doesn't need time away, in the outdoors? But a notable shift begins to take place in the boy's soul as he approaches his teens, a yearning for real adventure. Something inside tells him that he needs to prove himself, needs to be tested. He wants to learn how to do things... And now the Question of a man's soul begins to present itself in nearly everything the boy-becoming-a-young-man does: do I have what it takes? In the Cowboy stage the answer comes party through adventure, and partly through hard work."
The time spent as the Beloved Son is about affirmation and correction, about love and discipline. It is at the beginning that we are to learn who we are and how to live, and in that knowledge we are able to move on into the next stage. We take the identity we receive from the Father, and begin to test ourselves with adventures. We take the discipline we received and apply that to hard work. The stages build and we can't skip them. The lessons learned in the previous one are used in the present, and the ones learned presently prepare us for what is to come.
Stage two, the Cowboy, or ranger, depending on your preference, is a time where adventure should be a large focus. It is in this time when there is real freedom to be able to adventure. Though reality begins to set it, there shouldn't be the full weight of responsibility yet. The boy is a young man, not yet a man, and is not ready for a man's responsibility. And so this should be a time of great adventures.
"'Taking to the road' often plays a big part of the Cowboy (or Ranger) stage, as you see with the hobbits in The Lord of the Rings, and with Balin in Kingdom of Heaven... They take to the trail together on a high - and dangerous - adventure that calls forth daring and courage, and requires hard work and determination - things a boy-becoming-a-young-man needs to learn in order to face life head-on."
A Beloved Son lives in a safe little world made that way by his father's strength. But for the Beloved Son, the world is just that, little. As he grows and becomes a Cowboy, the world begins to get a little bit bigger. He begins to step out from his father's strength, and discover his own. And this is the way life is meant to be lived. He is not ready to step out fully on his own yet, but after all, this is preparation for that time, and he must be given the freedom, and permission, to do so.
"Men, and boys, learn by doing, we learn through experience... It's one thing to be told you have what it takes. It's another thing altogether to discover that you do, through some trial brought up in an adventure, or through some test that hard work demands. The experience is both a revelation and a kind of authoring, in that it reveals to you what you are made of and writes the lesson on your heart. For masculine initiation is not a spectator sport. It is something that must be entered into. It is one part instruction and nine parts experience."
As I've been writing I've been thinking about myself in this stage. Growing up I was shy and hesitant, (more on this later) and there were certain things I just wouldn't attempt. But a big change began to take place during my junior year of college (that was a huge year in my life). I had to take a class in Washington D.C. that required us to be "homeless" for a day. First off, I'm really not a fan of cities. There is too much noise, and too much going on, to fully be aware of your surroundings. I always feel on edge when I have to be in one. But something began to change. The first night we were in the city a group wanted to go explore, so I went along for something to do. We had gotten off the metro and as we were walking down the sidewalk I looked around and realized it was me and one other guy with about eight girls, and at that moment this hit me, "I'm the biggest guy in this group. If something happens it's up to me to protect everyone."
Something happened in that moment that changed me, gave me a new confidence. I'm still not a fan of being in the city, but I was different. The next year I would get on a plane (something else I wasn't a fan of), and travel to Israel and Egypt. Two years later I'd travel to Turkey and Greece. And two years after that I'd return to Israel and this time see Jordan, with my wife. I really doubt the me from before that DC trip would have done any of those things.
It is in this stage, through adventures, and we'll see next, hard work, that a boy learns that he does have what it takes. He learns that he does have strength and is a powerful and dangerous force. "There is a settled confidence in the boy - he knows he has what it takes. But it is not an arrogance - he knows that God has been with him. He will charge Goliath, and take his best shot, trusting God will do the rest. That 'knowing' is what we are after in the Cowboy Ranger phase, and it only comes through experience... experiences... physical in nature, they were dangerous, and they required courage."
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
To God alone be the Glory!
Strength and Honor
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